Skip to main content

Signs Your Man Might Be On the Down Low

  • Author:
  • Updated date:

How to Tell if Your Man Is on the Down Low

Down low is an African-American slang term specifically used within the African-American community that typically refers to a subculture of Black men who usually identify as heterosexual but actively seek sexual encounters and relations with other men, practice gay cruising, and frequently adopt a specific hip-hop attire during these activities. They avoid sharing this information even if they have a female sexual partner, they are married to a woman, or they are single.

Women need to protect themselves by knowing the tell-tell signs because this is a touchy subject. Say your boyfriend or husband has been acting strange, here a some of the signs to look for. If you find yourself saying yes to more than 15 of the questions or at least a majority, chances are he's definitely on the down low.

Please don't by any means let this cause a problem in your relationship by looking into these questions too hard. If you have suspicions, just ask him and see what he comes up with and how quickly he does come up with answers.

47 Down Low Warning Signs

  1. Does he show any interest in the way you style your hair? Does he say remarks such as that's hot, you're working that do, what kind of mousse did you use, did you wash your hair with a pH balanced shampoo, or try to style your hair himself? He's probably not down-low but could be all the way gay.
  2. Does he wear more colorful clothing than you or have a fascination with pink or rainbows?
  3. Is he interested in who your brother dating or your brother himself?
  4. Does he spend hours in the bathroom doing his hair or in the mirror flexing or posing?
  5. Are his pants always seeming to get tighter and tighter?
  6. Does he hug or touch his friends in a weird way when he greets them?
  7. Does he look at other guys judging how they look or how something they have on looks? Does he do it too much?
  8. Does he watch weird or homosexual porn constantly? Okay, he probably doesn't watch it in front of you.
  9. Does he listen to the divas such as Patti La Belle, Dion, and Franklin or watch too much America's Next Top Model? (You must admit, this isn't a true sign)
  10. Does he like for you to do weird things to him sexually that a female would most often prefer?
  11. Does he watch soap operas knowing all the characters and what's happening in the storyline?
  12. Does he get mad if he misses Oprah or another talk show?
  13. Does he devote too much time at the salon getting his nails and feet done? Maybe he's just a clean freak, but maybe some man looking at those toes.
  14. Does he do facials a lot?
  15. Does he smell the scented candles in Walgreens or other stores?
  16. Does he comment on your buddy's dress a lot? Or his friend's clothing?
  17. Does he wear makeup, eyeliner perhaps?
  18. Does he act unusually too happy when a hot guy approaches or passes?
  19. Does he pluck his eyebrows to shape them?
  20. Does he get nervous or offended when someone comments about a gay or down low person?
  21. Does he spend too much time with a single male friend?
  22. Does he gossip about other people to you?
  23. Does he ever comment on men looking good or being sexy in wet white T-Shirts?
  24. Does he have a best friend that is gay, or do people suspect him of being on the down low?
  25. Does he wear thong underwear? Some men do wear them. It may just be the fact that they like the feeling, or maybe they are secretly on the down low.
  26. Does he seem not to enjoy sex as much with you when the two of you are intimate?
  27. Does he talk funny or get shy when he's speaking to other men?
  28. Does everyone else think he's gay or down low?
  29. Does he ever talk about ex-girlfriends? Maybe he hasn't dated females in the past.
  30. Does he prefer shopping at the mall more than you?
  31. Does it take him forever to pick an outfit to wear out?
  32. Does he seem like a female friend you'd hang out with regularly?
  33. Does he watch a lot of romance movies or musicals?
  34. Does he listen to a lot of love songs?
  35. Does he get excited when the circus comes to town?
  36. Does he perm or straighten his hair?
  37. Does he own a set of flat or curling irons?
  38. Does he trim his penis hairs?
  39. Does he shave his legs often to have them smooth n silky?
  40. Does he own a Village People track that he plays constantly? You know the one!
  41. Does he have a magazine in his collection that shows homosexuals doing the deed?
  42. Does he use any lip gloss that has a fruity flavor or wham color?
  43. Does he walk with sort of a switch like his butt hurts but is still manly?
  44. Does he choose the majority of your clothes when you shop together?
  45. Does he like to dress up sometimes or role play with you where he gets to be the woman?
  46. Does he have a fantasy about getting spanked?
  47. Does he have male friends whose girlfriends you've actually met?
  48. Does he act too masculine? It could be an overcompensation to hide something.

Down Low Behavior

Again, these are only a few signs that I have come across, but if there is something I may have missed, please alert me in the comment section so that I may add it, then we can finally get to the bottom of the down low subject and close it.

It's not even what these men do that women care about; it's the risk they're put at. Finding this fact out would hurt if you've been in a relationship or marriage for more than five years, have children, and think everything is peachy in the relationship.

Society has learned to deal with the fact that there are men who prefer other men just like there are women who prefer other women, and we're over it already; we're not throwing stones. Women really have to be careful these days because most men will show no signs at all, and then how can you protect yourself.

There is never anything wrong with being yourself; nobody in the world should have to pretend to be someone to please family or friends.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.