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Saying Sorry to Your Spouse by Text Message

Sometimes the best way to say you are sorry to someone you love is to pick up the phone and call.

Sometimes the best way to say you are sorry to someone you love is to pick up the phone and call.

Texting Is Just the Beginning

Is it a good idea to apologize to your spouse with a text message after a big fight?

Saying sorry to your spouse by sending a text message is just the beginning of your apology. When you are able to see your partner again, you still have work to do to make it up to the one you love.

Here are some tips and suggestions on how to apologize to your wife or husband, so that the two of you can start repairing your relationship as soon as possible.

10 Ways to Say Sorry to Your Spouse in a Text Message

Here are 10 ways to say sorry to your spouse in a text message. Make sure that you personalize your message so that it sounds sincere.

  1. Please forgive me for what I did. I shouldn’t have been so rude and inconsiderate. You are my wife and you deserve better than the way I behaved.
  2. I never meant to hurt you. It pains me to know that I have made you sad. Can we talk?
  3. I don't expect forgiveness. I just want you to know that you didn't deserve what happened between us. I am sincerely sorry.
  4. I'm so sorry I let you down. I want to make this up to you as soon as possible. When can I come and see you?
  5. I’m sorry that I was a jerk this morning. I’m coming home from work as soon as a I can so I can let you know, face to face, how much you mean to me.
  6. I’m sorry I have been so insensitive lately. There’s no excuse for the way I have been behaving. I want to make it up to you.
  7. Will you give me a second chance? I can’t take back the things that I said, but I want you to know how sorry I am.
  8. I can’t believe how thoughtless I was to forget how important ______ was to you. When you are ready to talk, I want to tell you in person how very sorry I am.
  9. I know that sending a text to say I am sorry for what I did isn't perfect, but as soon as I realized how wrong I was, I wanted you to know how sorry I am.
  10. Saying sorry in a text message isn't the way I want to apologize. I couldn't reach you by phone to apologize for how I treated you last night. I couldn't bear the thought of you feeling sad about what happened so I wanted to reach out to you as quickly as I could.

Sending a Text Message Apology to Your Spouse

Having to say sorry in a text message isn't the ideal way to apologize. But if it is your only option for clearing up a mistake as soon as possible, pay attention to these text messaging no-nos.


Take resonsibility for what you said or did. If you want to make up after your fight, own up to your behavior.

Don't make excuses or say that your spouse made you do it. Apologizing to your spouse by text message means that you have to be accountable for your actions.

Offer an apology in person or by phone as soon as you are able to. A face to face apology to your spouse is always best, but if you can't talk to her right away, a text message apology at least lets her know that you realize you made a mistake.

Don't pretend that everything is OK between the too of you just because you texted your apology. You need to also talk to each other in real time.

Read what you wrote before you send your message. Turn off your phone's autocorrect feature so that it does change accidentally change the meaning of what you wrote.

Rush through your apology. Don't take shortcut with your language either. Use full words rather than abbreviated words to make sure that your apology is clear.

Give your spouse time to recieve and read your text message apology.

Don't be impatient and expect a response right away. Don't keep sending text messages over and over if she doesn't reply right away.

Keep your promises. If you commit to doing something in your text message apology, follow through and do it!

Don't bite off more than you can chew. If your apology includes promises to do things that you know you can't possibly fullfill, you will only make the situation worse.

Be sincere and serious.

Don't get carried away with jokes. Use humor lightly and always make it self-deprecating.

Avoid making your wife feel guilty.

Don't make such a big deal about your mistake that you come across as being a martyr. Your spouse shouldn't be made to feel guilty in order to accept your apology.

Be polite and well mannered.

Avoid swearing in your text message.

Give her space.

Don't stalk, abuse, or demand forgiveness from your spouse.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2014 Sadie Holloway