Tammy is a paralegal and online writer who enjoys writing about relationship issues and sharing her ideas with others.
Personality Profile of a Serial Cheater
Some people suffer from an addiction to adrenaline and seek out experiences that will give it to them. Chronic cheaters are often among these adrenaline chasers and have a "Type T" personality, with the "t" standing for thrill. These are the kind of people who are more prone to thrill-seeking behavior in general.
Adrenaline is produced by the endocrine system and is released through the thyroid, pancreas, and sex organs. Thrill-seekers experience a feeling of euphoria from the release of adrenaline in the body. Because it feels good, Type T personalities often seek out activities that encourage adrenaline release, such as extreme sports or cheating (the topic this article deals with).
Men and women who are serial cheaters often have Type T Personalities and actually get a high from the feeling of engaging in taboo behavior.
What the Other Woman Has that You Don't
The first thing you need to know is that the Other Woman doesn't have anything that you don't. Your man will cheat with her because of the unique opportunity she provides him. Women who set their sights on married men often do so with animal-like aggression, a turn-on to men who love the rush of being hunted like prey.
When these women unleash their feminine power, men are entranced, usually before they realize what they are walking away from. According to a study conducted by Info-Library.com, 60% of married men have admitted to cheating while only 2% of these men were caught or later confessed. Only 10% of these affairs were one-night stands.
While a woman falls in love with a man for who he is, a man falls in love with the way a woman makes him feel. The Other Woman knows how to make your man feel excited, charged, appreciated, and adored. The excitement he gets from this attention can be quite addictive. It's how he felt when he first met you.
What's in It for Him (Outside of the Obvious)
Besides sex with someone new and exciting, your man gets that old feeling of butterflies in his stomach when he thinks about and sees the other woman. If he is in a midlife crisis, an affair may be the fuel he needs to feel better about his life. A man with mother issues may seek a nurturer to make him feel safe and secure.
Regardless of his reasons for cheating, a man cheats to fulfill needs that are not being met in his current relationship, which could be excitement, variety, companionship, or a rush of adrenaline.
What's in It for Her?
Here are some of the things that drive a woman to cheat on married men.
Many women seek out married men simply for money and gifts. Some women like to be wined and dined and have an enjoyable evening out on someone else's dime. Other women do it for the gifts of jewelry, cash, and lingerie they get from their married boyfriends. Some women even specifically target married men and then request cash payments to keep the affair secret.
Why would any woman in her right mind want a married man instead of a single man who has the time to devote to her? Throughout history, women have long been attracted to married men for various reasons. For one thing, independent women do not want the inconvenience of having a man around 24/7.
This type of woman prefers to have her fun and then send him home so she can enjoy some peace and quiet. They don't want to have to deal with a man on a daily basis. A married man with commitments is not only fun and "taboo," he is easier to keep at arm's length.
When a woman seeks a relationship with a married man, she doesn't have the hassle of doing his laundry, cleaning up after him, raising his children, dealing with his family, preparing his food, organizing his piles of clutter, worrying about his health and diet, or smelling his morning breath. Luckily he has a wife who deals with these trivial issues.
A No-Strings Attached Relationship
Overall, the Other Woman seeks out a relationship with a married man because she wants only the best of a man while skipping out on the less desirable aspects of a relationship. The Other Woman wants your husband because he has a stellar wife that manages the boring aspects of a real relationship.
She takes only the best of your husband's attention, sexual energy and expression, money, free time (including vacations), and thoughts. She then sends the married man home to a wife who must deal with the reality of the relationship, including his tiredness, lack of sexual interest, and distraction. She does not have to deal with him when he has emotional needs, when he is sick, or has family issues.
Three Things He Can't Understand
Sadly, while the man is wrapped up in the thrill of the chase, he can't think about the long-term effects of his actions. Whether his plans with this woman include an exciting short-term affair or building a lasting, long-term relationship with her, there are three things he does not stop to consider.
1. What the Other Woman Really Wants
Women who specifically seek to have affairs with married men are in it because they like the thrill of the hunt and seek out men who are "taboo." They love the challenge of getting a married man to compromise his marriage and family and obtain a sense of fulfillment and victory when he chooses her over his wife. In most cases, the woman isn't as interested in the man as she is in the chase.
2. What Happens After the Affair
For those women with a thrill-seeking personality type, the relationship usually ends when the thrill of the chase comes to a close. Once she has the married man in her talons, she may toss him around a bit, but very rarely will want anything else from him. She has captured him, taken what she wants, and prepared to move on to her next conquest. Some women enter into long-term relationships with their lovers, but many grow bored early on.
Sadly, men don't stop to consider that they are entering into a relationship with someone who does not respect the boundaries of relationships (which is probably not very important to him because he obviously has no respect for marital boundaries). Yet, these men later become shocked and astounded when the women for whom they have given up everything cheat on them.
3. What His Infidelity Really Means
In some cases, affairs occur because two people actually fall in love with each other. However, a woman who sets out to capture a married man with children is not showing true love. True love does not take a man away from his family and potentially devastate the futures of his children. Any married man who falls in love with someone else should consider the needs of his family as well as his own needs. Before becoming sexually involved, a couple should make plans that take their spouses and children into consideration.
Infidelity is a painful situation to be in. If this has happened to you, remember that the Other Woman has actually done you a favor. Now you can focus on finding someone who is worth your love.
- Angelina Jolie set her sights on Brad Pitt when he was married to Jennifer Aniston.
- Michelle McGee broke up Sandra Bullock's marriage soon after Bullock and James adopted a baby.
- Rose McGowan caught producer Robert Rodriguez who had 5 children and had been married for 16 years with Elizabeth Avellan.
- LeAnn Rimes had to deal with the negative publicity of her romance with a married man.
- Denise Richards and Richie Sambora hooked up behind Heather Locklear's back.
- Kristen Stewart of Twilight fame broke Robert Pattison's heart by cheating on him.
Dr. Kaye. Type- T Personalities. 5 July 2012. Available: http://unofficialnetworks.com/adrenaline-type-personality-43200.
Shugerman, Lindsey. Percentage of Married Couples Who Cheat. Available: http://www.catalogs.com/info/relationships/percentage-of-married-couples-who-cheat-on-each-ot.html
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.