Online Support for Victims of Sociopaths and Malignant Narcissists

Updated on December 28, 2016

What is Malignant Narcissism?

Experts who study human behavior are divided over just what constitutes malignant narcissism. It appears to be a subset of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a condition described in the medical Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR).

However, this condition goes beyond that, because people who suffer from it also have a sadistic streak. Some professionals believe that malignant narcissists are really just high-functioning sociopaths, as the distinction between the two is blurred.

Finding Help Online

Where do you turn when you've been betrayed in some of the worst ways imaginable?

Life is full of hurts, upsets and disappointments. This is a normal part of the human experience.

But what I'm talking about is much different. An encounter with a sociopath or a malignant narcissist leaves you gasping for air and wondering if you'll survive.

You will survive, but healing is a process that takes time and fortitude.You'll have your good days and your bad days. You'll even be able to trust again, and to realize that most people are fundamentally good.

Every painful experience, if channeled properly, results in growth. Over time, you'll even be able to see the blessings of your walk through this valley of darkness.

Believe it or not, you'll even be able to forgive the person who's harmed you. But how do you get from here to there, and move beyond the trauma?

Many victims turn to online forums, such as and Both offer plenty of good advice, anonymously.

In my humble opinion, anonymous online support is among the best ways to get your bearings after cutting the narcissist loose.

Narcissists abuse victims find help online.
Narcissists abuse victims find help online. | Source

The Benefits of Online Support

One of the biggest benefits of online support is that it's anonymous. You can receive feedback and advice from others who've been there. Many people who've never encountered a narcissist or a sociopath might find your story hard to swallow. That's because the personality disordered are capable of such outrageous behavior, and are so adept at manipulation. So what you're recounting seems too bizarre to possibly be true.

However, the folks you meet online need no convincing. They know just what you're talking about.

Also, narcissists are very persuasive. One of their more sinister traits is the way they rally people to their cause. Unfortunately, it's possible that if you cry on someone's shoulder, the narcissist will hear about it. This gives him or her more insight into how best to attack again.

So online anonymity is very beneficial, given the circumstances. The moderators who run one forum strongly suggest you don't reveal your true identity or too many identifying details. That's primarily because your tormentor might find them.

Recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Recovery from narcissistic abuse. | Source

Love Fraud Blog

This site is primarily for people deceived by romance. There is a lot of good advice. If you are confused as to whether someone's behavior is disordered, this can shed some light on that question.

The site owners have live through similar situations. This is a very non-judgmental platform to air your concerns.

The only caveat is not spending too much time here, or on any forum, as a recovering victim. The idea is to eventually move on and to find a new focus. Later, when you've reclaimed your life, and grown from the experience, you can return tot the forum from time to time, in order to help others.

Malignant Narcissists in Your Life

Have you ever been betrayed by a manipulative, deceitful person?

See results

Out of the Fog

This forum is superb because it contains a wealth of information on malignant narcissism and the tactics they use. It is a very active community and the people are very helpful.

The name of the site describes the light bulb going off in your head moment, when victims realize they've been taken for a ride by someone who doesn't possess a well-developed conscience. This is a painful experience, but it's also liberating. You know what you've been dealing with and every instinct in your body tells you it's time to sever the cord. You no longer miss this person, or wonder if there was, perhaps, something you could have done, to avoid their wrath. You realize there was nothing you could have done to fix what is missing, in the heart and the soul of the narcissist.

Moving beyond narcissistic abuse.
Moving beyond narcissistic abuse. | Source

The Friendship Blog

This moderated forum is run by Dr. Irene Levine, PhD., who gives excellent advice to women suffering the loss of a friendship. Many of the other recovery forums deal almost exclusively with romantic breakups. Dr. Levine's site helps those who've lost their best friend, or a significant friendship.

She notes that women's friendships are intense and complicated. Female friendships become increasingly important as we age, and Dr. Levine recognizes this.

But Be Careful Online

A word of caution about online forums is in order. They are populated with narcissists, no matter which topic is being discussed. The Internet and social media sites are extremely attractive to people with personality disorders, as they can talk about themselves and boast of their accomplishments on a massive scale.

Malignant narcissists like to abuse others. They troll the forums looking for victims. Be very careful if you decide to strike up an offline relationship with someone you met in a forum.

Actually, there are some signs to watch for, when you "meet" someone online, according to psychologist Dr. Sylvia Gearing, Ph.D. These red flags include spending an inordinate amount of time posting on Facebook (most normal adults won't update multiple times a day), having an excessive number of Facebook "friends" and putting up too many pictures of themselves. Be especially wary if these photos show immodest dress or suggestive poses.

Watch Out for Narcissists on Facebook

Beginning the Recovery Process

The day you recognize what you're dealing with, and make a firm resolution to break free, is the day you begin to recover. Freedom means either no contact or as little contact as possible. Sometimes it's not possible to totally avoid certain people. If that's the case, then interact as little as you can. Don't provide them with any more information about what you've been doing, since you've cut them out of your life.

Recovery comes in stages. Some days are better than others. The hurt feelings might surface again if something else, even if it's not related, happens to upset you.

Be patient with yourself. This will take time. Reach out to old friends and try to find new outlets for your energy. Do things that make you happy.

Eventually, you'll begin to spend less time on the forums. The topic of malignant narcissism won't interest you as much. This means you are cruising along in the recovery process.

Forgiving the Person Who Hurt You

This is necessary if you want to move on, which is the only solution when it comes to narcissists. If you pray for people, put this person at the top of your prayer list. If you don't pray, just send them well wishes.

Eventually, you will reach the point where this doesn't hurt you at all. In time, as you look back, believe it or not, you'll probably find a few blessings in all you've been through. If nothing else, you'll be able to help others negotiate a similar situation. Few people understand the world of malignant narcissism unless they've experienced it first hand.

My grandfather used to talk about "the school of hard knocks." This is where you'll learn some of the best lessons of your life.


I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


Submit a Comment
  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    5 years ago from USA

    Hi jenn, I am so sorry to hear of your struggles and I will pray for you, that things take a turn for the better. However, I have no experience in domestic violence or marital malignant narcissism, so I'm not the best person to ask. My experience is with a female malignant narcissist.

    If he is drinking, this could be fueling some of the bad behavior. If that's the case, he most certainly needs treatment for that problem.

    I don't know what your religious background is. Are you Catholic? Maybe you could try and talk to a priest. Someone who has experience dealing with marital problems is a much better bet than asking me.

    In any event, I will pray for you.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    5 years ago from USA

    Lisa, there is one called Out of the Fog, which is a supportive community. I hope this can help.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Hi perc, please feel free to share here. That's what the comment section is for. I'm sorry to hear about this experience. Narcissistic emotional abuse is horrifying. But there is a lot of hope. Once you recover, you are happy again, and I dare say, more happy than before because you have a new appreciation for the good you see.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Isn't that the truth!

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Lack of love in trust in childhood may very well contribute to this behavior. But others who are abused as children turn into very empathetic adults. At some point, we're responsible for our own behavior.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    It does seem to spring from families, and, sometimes, if people come from a family where bad behavior is tolerated, they look for what is familiar, or they don't have the same ability as others to recognize when something is off.

    I've also seen people misuse the Bible in order to control people. That is very sad, because God respects our free will.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Hi suzettenaples, I am so sorry to hear about what you've been through, and I can only just begin to imagine how horrible it must have been. You will recover, with time. People who've never been through something similar cannot even begin to comprehend the twisted plots. Best wishes and I'll keep you in my prayers.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Workplace bullying is very tricky. Documentation of every incident is extremely important. Emails are a good way to leave a "paper trail," which you need. It is also good to have legal advice as well.

    However, in the office, a narcissist has already laid a lot of groundwork, smearing the target's good name and turning people against the target. So, by the time the target realizes anything is wrong, they've lost their support network. Unfortunately, it's been documented that complaining to HR does little good, and only leads to a resolution in a tiny minority (about 3 percent) of the actual cases. Maybe having really good documentation, and approaching the situation in an unemotional manner, can help boost those odds. I don't know.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Thanks again FlourishAnyway. Have a happy New Year.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    The world does seem to be filled with opportunistic individuals. Sometimes the only way to spot this disturbed behavior is in hindsight. Another safeguard is to learn all you can about it, and let new people into your life slowly. It's sad that we have to think about it this way.

  • ologsinquito profile imageAUTHOR


    6 years ago from USA

    Thanks Eric. Have a great day.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)