Is My Husband Cheating with My Sister?
Who Do Cheating Husbands Cheat With?
The answer may surprise you. Most cheating husbands get involved with someone their wives know. For some reason women give cheating men more credit than they deserve when it comes to choosing someone to cheat with.
One woman, during the course of an interview, said she had told her husband that if he was ever going to cheat on her, he better make sure the "other woman" was smart and beautiful because he would not want to be embarrassed in the court room. He was caught cheating with her sister.
For some reason women prefer to think that if their husband is cheating he had the good taste to find someone better looking. Unfortunately, except for the older man who can't resist the younger women and is willing to pay the price, most men cheat with their wives' best friends, sisters, cousins, or his secretary or an office worker.
Cheating Husbands Are Lazy When It Comes to Looking for Lovers
That's the truth. Most men are lazy when it comes to looking for a lover. That's not to say that he won't pick up a one night stand in the bar or while on a business trip, if he is going to cheat. But, contrary to what so many women believe, the "other woman" is usually someone she knows, and knows well.
These are the cheating relationships that destroy not only marriages, but friendships and families. These are the relationships that are deeply emotionally involved as well as sexually. In fact, most of these cheating relationships begin, not as a sexual fantasy but as a friendship.
Not to defend any of the cheaters, but in most cases the sexual attraction follows after the friendship has been well established. This is not to say that men and women cannot have friends of the opposite sex, without becoming sexually involved. I firmly believe that people of the opposite sex can be friends --- and I'm not talking about friends with benefits.
Are the Husbands Victims, Too?
Oh, please! I am not excusing anyone for bad behavior. Cheating is wrong. Period. But, the husbands can be seduced into a relationship easily by your friends, close family members and co-workers. Think about it for a minute.
Using the example of your best friend, think about what she knows about you. Think of all the times you have confided in her. And, yes! Ladies, we do tell too much sometimes. I know we all need someone to talk to from time to time, especially when we need to let off steam or re-evaluate a situation. But, there is such a thing as TMI (too much information), especially if "she" has an eye on your husband. Of course, most of us have spilled our guts before we realize we having been loading her gun with ammunition to use against us.
Example: Think of a big argument you had with your husband --- about a hunting or fishing trip. Let's say he wanted to sit all weekend in a tree with friends hoping a deer walked by and you had something else planned. A big fight erupts between the two of you. He goes hunting (or fishing or whatever) and you go to your sister's house or your best friend's house. You engage in a little husband bashing. The "other woman" is taking notes (mentally).
If she has had her eye on your man, you have just given her everything she needs to snare him the next time you have an argument. From interviews with the "other woman" I have learned that they will make themselves available for consoling the "poor husband with the wife who doesn't understand him." A little consoling, a few drinks, and there you have it, the beginning of a cheater's relationship.
Should You Be Suspicious of Everyone?
The answer is a simple "no." Every friend you have and every female in your family does not want to crawl between the sheets with your husband. But, and this is a big BUT, learn to trust your intuition. Women are not stupid. But, some of us do not want to admit to ourselves that we misjudged a friend, or the husband's secretary with the tortoise shell glass frames and the matronly knot of hair at the nape of her neck. (Those glasses can come off and the hair can fall loose.) And, of course, some men are attracted to the librarian type.
Of course, we should not become suspicious of all our friends and family. But, every woman alive who has ever been in a relationship with a man has had that feeling that another woman was ready to pounce on him. Follow your instincts. Do not ignore the warning signs. You know what they are and you know deep down in your gut who you do not trust around your man.
And, as for the saying that the wife is the last to know, I will quote a previous client. "I wasn't the last to know. I was the last to admit that I knew."