PMS is not fun, not for me, not for you, and certainly not for my husband. PMS is the onset of my Hulk transformation. I stop being myself, and I turn into my husband's worst nightmare and communication becomes futile.
Much like the Hulk, I'm not really in control of myself when PMS arrives. My hormonal impulses take over my sweet nature (okay, so I may not be the sweetest person in the world, but I'm way nicer when PMS is not ruling my world). This is how I look when I'm afflicted by PMS:
However, unlike the Hulk in the Avengers, I haven't learned to control my impulses yet. So, while I figure out how to help myself, I created a list of things to help my suffering husband deal with my PMS . I'm sharing this list with you because I don't want to feel like we are the only couple that needs this crazy list.
So, here are my best tips to help you, poor men, know how to deal with PMS.
Don't offer any solutions, unless...
Please don't ever, ever tell us to take a pill. And whatever you do, don't ever say "take a chill pill" as this may result in the end of your days.
You don't have to tell us to take medication. We know a pill makes things better most of the time. If we seem like we need a pill, chances are we already took one and it just isn't working. Unlike children, we don't need to be reminded to take our medicine. Au contraire! We desperately want it! So when you imply that we are too stupid to remember to take a pill, we feel deeply insulted, which will undoubtedly make us feel angrier toward you.
However, if your solutions include a massage, a hot cup of tea, baking a hot chocolate cake or any other goody, then by all means, offer as many solutions as you want. It's not that we don't like solutions. We like them, as long as they make us feel like a precious gem and not like a stupid child.
Keep your distance, but don't go too far
So what exactly is a good distance to keep? During these horrible days, we girls want to have enough space to ourselves to tear anything we want to tear down. We want to have enough space to rip all the pillows we want to rip, and to cry wherever we want to cry. Keep away from this space. However, don't go too far. We want you to stay close enough so you can come rescue us in case the need for a scoop of ice cream may arise.
Sound selfish? A little, but keep in mind that we are super sweet during any other time of the month.
Girls, let's not be jerks.
PMS is a very real thing, but it should, in no way, be used as an excuse to hurt others, or to treat others like chewed gum stuck to your shoe.
Some women may use this horrible time of the month to take advantage of their significant other, or to do anything else that they could get away with.
Please notice that I am, in no way, advocating for this kind of behavior. I'm simply stating what could happen and how hormones can mess with a woman's head.
But, girls, let's try to be as nice as we possibly can, okay? Okay!
Don't expect too much
PMS can be so severe that sometimes all we can do is lie in bed all day. Cramps can be so sharp that just walking proves to be a real challenge. So don't expect a clean house, a warm meal or pretty much anything else. Not gonna happen.
Here's what you can do: clean, cook, feed the children, take them to park, etc.. you get the point.
Understand what's going on
I don't believe men will ever fully understand the complexity (and pain) of PMS. In an effort to win your sympathy, I will attempt to explain what goes on.
During PMS, our brains don't fully belong to us. They become controlled by tiny, evil creatures called hormones. We know we shouldn't act the way we do, but the fight against these evil creatures is close to impossible. So it's like we are seeing ourselves do things we don't want to do and feel completely overpowered. Keep in mind that all this is happening while blood is coming out of our lady parts and our uterus is cramping like Parkinson's on caffeine.
It is as if we were fighting two fights: one with our brains and one with our uterus. NOT FUN!
PMS doesn't necessarily mean we will always be in a crappy mood. No, what will be the fun of that? For added extra fun, PMS decides to give us women mood swings that are just "delightful" both for you and us. So one minute we may be super happy, and the next we are ready to eat your head.
Keep a calendar, but don't let us know you're keeping track
Keeping a calendar of our period is a wonderful way to know when and how to deal with PMS. It may help you understand a sudden fit of anger. But, please, whatever you do, don't let us know you're keeping track. This will only make us feel like some kind of time bomb or monster that can't be controlled. We don't like to feel like some kind of creep right out of a sci-fi movie.
Plus, if you keep a calendar and we don't know, we will just see you as a super sweet guy that really knows how to understand his woman, and that will earn you a ton of brownie points.
In the end...
Yes, this may seem like a lot of work for all you poor carriers of a Y chromosome. But, following these instructions will help you keep a happy wife (girlfriend, whatever) and thus, also result in a happier you. We are willing to shower you with hugs and kisses if you understand this complex process we have to endure every month.
Remember: learning how to deal with PMS is no easy task, but practice makes perfect!
Funny Pms Survival Guide
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Valteor on June 21, 2020:
When it comes to insomnia while pms I'm glad that I've found the solution. As the bad mood always caused depressive moods those caused insomnia which in turn caused even worse mood and hence the endless spiraling down. So the advice is to get the weighted blanket. Here's a small aid https://pharmonis.org/
FGRoss from Alberta,canada on May 17, 2020:
Been married 21 years. Wife is 52. I get so freaking tired of being told to be nice to her during her period. Her hormones are causing her attitude so be nice. I think good grief she has had over 400 periods doesnt she have this pms figured out yet!!?? It is like there is no memory of the last month. Like it is all brand new. She says my boobs hurt...my back hurts...my belly....i am so tired...i need chocolate....i need you to be nice to me.....i need some comfort food....i need to lay down....i need ice cream and watch tv........ and the husband is suppose to comply with a smile each month... and we are not suppose to say... chill it will be over in a few days...i bought you chocolate last month did you eat all of it...go take a shower.. get your mind off of it think about something else.....is that all you think about is ice cream and your boobs hurt.. well husbands have hormobes too.. but we are treated like perverts....sex is that all you think about....we just had sex last week isnt that enough....take a cold shower...i am too tired... i dont feel like it ......and the list goes on.....can you just imagine if husbands treated wives dealing with her hormones like wives treat husbands dealing with their hormones how much hell the husbands would get from society. Wife...oh my boobs hurt would you rub my back? Husband...i dont have time for that. Wife. I need some chocolate. Husband. That is all you ever want. Wife...i need to lay down i hurt... husband..just get over it think about something else. Wife..i need you to get me a hot pad for my back. Husband..i just got you one yesterday you dont need it every day..... the examples can go on and on. The thing is wives hormones are real husbands are just make believe and wives have real needs that they cannot control while husbands needs are all made up to get sex. You wives out there how many needs do you have? Do you take over all drawers and shelves in the bathroom with your stuff while your husband has all his stuff in a small box under the sink. Do you have many shoes dresses purses while your husband 2 pairs of shoes...do you hog the closet do you own the dresser....is he suppose to make the bed your way....put the toilet seat down your way...take out the trash...help vwith the house after a full day working on tbe house ....ladies your man is just asking for one thing.... when you deny him his hormones get all out of whack and it is for real. So ladies are you creating a man or monster. It really is up to you. And dont ever tell your man "all you want is sex" because if that is all he wanted he would not be with you! He wants your love. He wants to feel loved and feel he is desired and yes sexdoes tell him these things. He wants you to want him in bed. He wants you to start sex not schedule sex. Ladies dont push your husband to the point he resents you and the despises and hates you. And one last thing to you wives.. dont have a melt down when it is found out he has been searching on ways to get his needs met if it means an affair..porn..self pleasure..drugs.. etc... needs he has are real. He wants to be YOUR lover. He wants to be your hero. Your protector. Your provider..your dream man.... he will be your everything he just does not want to be rejected when he has needs. Do you know that you have made your husband cry in the shower from the way you treated him..rejected him... do you know your husband has real feelings ...he goes out of his way to please you.... when is the last time you surprised him with a back scratch? How about a big hug from behind with your roaming hands....he wants you to flirt with him ....lead him to the bedroom and not lead him by holding his hand.... he has feelings when your feelings get hurt you cry..he may cuss or get mad or he may clam up and not make eye contact with you....i feel sorry for you other husbands out there that have had your feelings hurt by your wife. Tears from a wife show sadness tears from a husband shows he has been broken. I hope that I have made some sense in my rambling.
Zack on September 19, 2019:
If this was the other way around and men were abusive once a week... shit! We all know what would happen then. This is one sided BS. Control your emotions. Men have testosterone and they act like clowns, but some don’t.. because they control it.
Mick on September 19, 2019:
What a load of the higgest pile of crap i think i have ever read, sorry but sorry, if you kick off for nithing, get angry or shout for no reason, act unreasonable. Your getting it back with both barrels. We have higher brain functions to know when we are being unreasonable or not. I will not sit there an be spoken to like crap. I just walk off and do my own thing if it gets worse a good kick out the door.. women have seemed to have taken the meaning of equality and turned it on its head, equality is not using a pathetic reason that your hormonal to be down tight selfish. The amount of husbands and partners i see day to day in the pub, or at work are all missrable and when you break the walls down they say its their other half... i dont put upnwith it, i have learnt not to even interact when a women is hormaonal i just block her out of what im doing, and carry on. Might sound harsh but im sorry i dont expdct to be treated with respect or nicely if i am being down right selfish, nasty or unreasonable so i am defintly not offering it. Women nred to give their little heads a wobble and wake up to the fact they are causing their partners missery.. tthey will never, ever admit it out loud ymto you and even defend it if somone mentions it but its funny what they admit to strangers or work colleague's.
TOLACA3 on September 15, 2019:
The Best tip I have concluded almost at this point of my Wife's RAGING, RAGE FILLED PMS Hatred of me yet again, is for me to have another Woman someday in my arms, who actually loves me every day of the week, and me her every week of the month, who has regular PMS and irritability, not this illogical shit my Wife of almost 30 years has going on.... I just have got to get the balls to get away from this she has chosen, friends, church, mommy daddy, concerts, trips, and everyone and everything over me for years and years, and treats me like TOTAL SHIT 1 week a month like clockwork, then flips it on me says it is ME starting on her, she gaslights me, tells me I will never find another woman, yet I tell her other men will find her attractive, I have lost my Religion, and soon my Wife cause of this nutty Hormonal Abusive Bitch ! I say cuss words to her, she fucks with my mind and heart... To any brothers out there with a SEVERE FORM of PMS Significant Other, I feel for you, peacefully I hope you find a regular Woman who does not hate your ass literally 1 week a month. Her PMS frustrates me so bad, my BP was 174 over 155, a few months ago I had numb arm, nausea, and blurry vision, the bottom number could of given me cardiac arrest or was gonna have a stroke, I yelled up to her, that I was a dead man, and needed to go to the ER and told her what my BP was, all I got back was SILENCE, she does not care if I fucking DIE most months during PMS week, so bad for my health.... I am not taking this shit much longer, I am going to find me a real nice lady, who wants to love me, and me her ALL the month, and I suggest you Brothers suffering do the same, we do not need this shit
TOLACA3 on September 15, 2019:
Hi SOMEONE ! Hang in there Brother ! I hear ya ! And I agree with you 100% on all you said ! My Wife is still my Wife, but slowly transitioning to the hateful, mean looking bitch who does not give a fuck if I die for the next week... She showed some symptoms yesterday... I gave her Money for her Birthday, MORE than I ever did, as I wanted too ! I said do you want it now, or officially on your birthday, she said NOW ! I said I don't have a card yet, but I will give you extra $$$ since I do not have a card... She blew her fucking stack at me, called me a Bastard, asked for a Divorce, did not even take into consideration, I was kind to her, gave her more $$$ than I ever have for a Birthday present, and did not take into consideration, on a day off I spent 8 hours putting speakers in her car for her the day before, or that I was taking her out to eat, it was all IRRATIONAL about that damn Happy Birthday Card, more than than Money, Stereo Speakers, Dinners, Sex etc... The fucking card ! I was glared at, and despised, then she stormed off, I begged her to come with me, and she harped for 3 fucking hours about how evil I was, not offering her a card... I told her, I would get her an ECard, and that I had no card cause she wanted her $$$ Gift NOW, before her actual Birthday, and I did not have the card... BUT there is NO LOGIC when she is in beginning, middle and end of PMS week, and GOD HELP ME at the end, it gets really gnarly, she has jumped out of cars, dialed 911 for no valid reason other than RAGE from PMS towards me, which had cops sitting out in front of our house for 4 hours, after they called and said any problems, and I said NO ! Mistake dial, she has left me during PMS and drove off many states away ! Called me fucking bastard, told me she hates me, etc... Walked out of stores, walked home on Highways, Walked through town in broad daylight, flipping me the Middle Finger ! Why ??? Because I acted no different than I do the other 3 weeks, just like SOMEONE just posted, the Magnifying Glass, she pulls out also during PMS, so she can look for any reason to ri me a new asshole ! - - Oh, and she is a BITCH during this time, I admit it HATE HER FUCKING GUTS 1 week a Month ! I have take this abuse for YEARS ! She turns it off for everyone, but cannot see, to control the anger, and irritation when it comes to me ! I love her to death 3 weeks a month, but hate her fucking guts 1 week ! BUT this has been going on so long, I am not sure if I love her as much as I once did ? She rarely spends time with me during the 3 weeks she is nice, friends, work, church activities, everything comes before me, I am not a priority it seems even during the nice 3 weeks, and during PMS week she is just downright fucking nasty for 1 week, and it has taken a toll on me how I feel towards her overall ! I have to believe not all women have this kind of abusive PMS towards their Man... My Wife has a severe form, and does NOT realize what an bitchy ass she truly is towards me... Well my Brothers, hang in there ! Been with my Lady for 30 years ! But no menopause yet, so I am still taking a PMS beating every 30 days ! Trying to hold out, till she goes through the change, but that could still be 5 or more years away... These Women, have got to stop treating us like shit 1 week a month, cause if we find someone else, their loss !
someone on September 14, 2019:
Taylorplath, I'm sorry to tell you, but the only reason BF/husband takes your shit is that he obviously loves you too much. Guess what - just like you are ignoring all this tiny annoying things your man is doing, he is doing the same with you. I'm sure you are not perfect. What is described by men here and what I'm experiencing has a name - it is called abuse. Abuse can not be justified by your hormonal condition. Nobody should ever be abused by his or her SO. Today I wake up, clean the kitchen (as I usually do), cook breakfast (as I always do, my wife almost never cooks), clean the kitchen again, but not perfectly since I have other things to do given that I'm the sole bread winner. "Thank you" would seem like an appropriate reaction from someone who was on social media during the whole time, I would go with no reaction at all, but "why didn't you scrub the surfaces after cooking?!" is kind of hurtful. I don't take it that hard because I'm used to this and expecting much worse. For the next week I am a criminal who should expect to be punished for being alive and breathing. For know I am not her husband, I am a rabid slave and the only reason for my existence is the functional benefits I yield. From now until the blood comes out, every single action I do and every single word I say would be checked with a magnifying glass in order to find faults and things to throw at me, and that is easy since I do most of the things in our relationship. I would not treat salves or servants this way, but I'm not having a hormonal condition so what do I know? It's my fault for loving this woman, I guess. I am taking sooooo much shit from my wife for the rest of the time, but then at least I feel loved so I don't mind. I understand she does her best and support her without conditions. During PMS its outright abuse and I don't accept excuses for that. She doesn't do her best since she just doesn't care about me or my feelings during this time. Someone here is literally being beaten by his wife when she gets PMS, and you justify the wife. If I would abuse my wife, would you think she should consider my hormonal or mental state? If I would beat my wife, do you think a judge would care I had a condition that made me sad and irrational? That I had illness that made me feel horrible and she just happened to be a comfortable punching bag? I never mistreat my wife. Ever. When my mom died I didn't mistreat my wife. When I'm in an extremely bad condition, I tell her that and actually trying to keep some distance so I would not accidentally hurt her. If I do accidentally say something that hurts her, I apologise and try to make up for it, and this is a very very rare case since I do everything I possibly can not to throw my shit at someone else, especially someone I love. That is called being responsible for you actions, and its part of being an adult. That is something that you clearly don't even try to do. Maybe I'm mistaken about you and you are not allowing your self to completely turn into a hateful b*tch during PMS, but at least accept the fact that some women do, and some poor man who are living with them are really really suffering.
TOLACA3 on August 05, 2019:
Hey Taylorplath, I agree there is a veil 3 weeks, and then it drops, but those 3 weeks, I adore her, PLEASE her in the Bedroom in everyway imaginable, her pleasure before mine. FANTASTIC sex life, and I put up with a lot of her shit, for 3 weeks... But that PMS week, forget it, even in the bedroom, her blank is sensitive, she just oozed disgust at me from her PMS soul less eyes, and it hurts... I am truly fucking sick of it ! I am not bashing Women, I understand PMS hormones are changing, and some mood is acceptable, but this abuse, hatred, threaten divorce basically not caring if I die, is TOTAL BULLSHIT ! No man should have to put up with that ! Plenty other women out there with regular PMS that is manegable not the severe PMS....
Taylorplath on August 04, 2019:
To the men on here bashing their wives / girlfriends for how they behave during PMS I feel very bad for you. You are all obviously poorly educated on womans health or your emotionless male brains must not be able to scrounge up enough compassion to support and actually listen to your woman during that very very hard time of the month. First off the reason woman are so easy going and dont care to nag you about the many ways you are failing the relationship the other three weeks of the month is because of the " estrogen Vail" or you can call it the " anything you want hunny hormone" . Well right before a womans period when pms starts serotonin levels drop which means the veil drops. That means during that miserable week for HER its no longer up to her to ignore yalls BS. I will paint yall a easy picture so maybe you can actually understand that you poor poor men arent actually victims at all. I am in a 6 year partnership with a man and we have a toddler daughter together. He works hard to provide for us dont get me wrong i appreciate him so much that while my estrogen Vail is up this man comes home to a clean home, happy baby, blow jobs , back rubs you name it Every day until pms begins. I treat him like a king. But this "king " also gets away with so so much bs during what is called the folicure phase of the womans cycle. During this phase your wives will feel sexy , giving , laid back , etc. Thats when the estrogen Veil is up because its mating time but once lovely pms comes along its not longer kiss your mans ass time its time for woman to " clean house" this is our bodys ways of creating a better environment for that possible baby so we blow up about everything yall are doing wrong the rest of the month . Overwhelming to you? Imagine once a month you are smothered with the truth that you ARE a underappreciated doormat. The rest of the month my man gets to sleep in, talk to other woman , drink , stay up playing video games all while i get maybe 5 hours of sleep wake up , work out, yoga, clean house , prep meals, activities and take care of our daughter and take her to do fun things while he complains how tired he is. Boohoo. Im a class a fucking wife. Full package over here while he acts like a lazy spoiled mamas boy. But thanks to that vail instead of getting treated how i deserve to be treated i am over here like aw poor daddy how about i rub your feet and get you another drink. I do all this because of estrogen and when pms starts im like " wtf" where is my break, my massage, why am i the only one making an effort here, can you go down on me for a freaking change, why do i work out every day for you to talk to other girls and nooot ever touch me and if you do its like a business transaction. We are the mother of your children and are too " tired "to be passionate in bed??? What ? I just did a weeks worth of work and still here i am on my knees choking to make you happy. How about you open your minds a little and educate yourselves. Perhaps you deserve whats coming to you during her pms and you need to take notes and make a damn effort. Maybe some of you are top of the line prince charmings and still feel a little victimized during HER pms. Our bodies out us through all of this so we can continue repopulating so cut us a little slack and help her prep and gear up for that week or two of hell. There is a list of vits and herbs she should be taking daily to relieve and help her female health. I do them every day and they help but still some womans pms is just severe. When my pms begans its like im sleep walking in a nightmare. I cant focus, i am very forgetful, i am anxious, i am scared, sad , i feel like a pos, i feel like a stranger to myself, i feel hopeless, i either sleep for days straight or not at all, my entire body hurts inside and out, i go from being very healthy and agile to a overly bloated and fatigued zombie, i finally feel the damage he gets away with the rest of the month. I look around i see the house fall apart, my child go with out attention and fun, and myself invisible and unappreciated and there he is doing him not giving my daughter and myself the things i feel we deserve mostly me i do think he is a very good father my expectations differ vastly when it comes to my daughter. I become sensitive to the rejection i usually dont notice, the criticism i find inappropriate since i do everything i can to make my family happy , and of course since i am to busy on my hormonal roller coaster to do what i usually do im stuck watching our clean home turn into a nasty pit, our daughter go with out needed family time because im not myself so im hiding and if he isnt working he is still doing him, phone in face , sleeping or video games and the anger and hurt builds up so abruptly and out of my control that i erupt like a sobbing, scream bitchy volcano and he stands there ignorant thinking this bitch is crazy when honestly i am not this is just the only time my body will let me express my true feelings and all i am doing is begging for the love , effort and attention i give him the rest of the month. Woman treat their men like gods while we get shit in return all month then pms comes around and it's just to much of an inconvenience for you guys to give back to the giver and at least try to turn the tables for a week. I was poorly educated on womans health growing up i had no idea i had pms and my parents just assumed i was crazy and put me on a pill diet at the age of 14 i was numb all the time and then pms week came and i was numb and suicidal. Because of my ignorance and the ignorance of those around me my quality of life up until recently wasnt much. Now i do everything i can to take care and better myself for me and my family. Its work but its worth being the person i have become. Here are the things i do and suggest to make her life and your life a happier and healthy one. Daily : yoga, mediation, clean eating, specific herbs and vits to aid meynstral health, exercise, cuddling naked, self love. Giving your woman the respect she gives you will pay off in the long run . Educate yourselves , pay attention and maybe try taking care of and loving her during her time of need instead of making things harder. Sorry if this dragged on i am multitasking like a mother and trying to cope with cramps that almost feel like freddy Cruger squeezing my organs because its shark week but thank goodness for my mans sake pms is over. If we could trade for a month. Alright done rambling . Rant over.
TOLACA3 on July 22, 2019:
Sorry guys, but it is TOTAL BULLSH*T what some of us have to put up with ! My Wife is someone I don't even know during PMS, and she refuses to see it ! After her PMS, I am sad, irritated, and cannot stand her for an extra 2 weeks, then we have 1 good week, and back to PMS repeat Cycle ! Every f*cking month the packs her suitcase says she want's a divorce, raises her voice to me, after I talk normal, but gets mad and says " Why you telling loudly at me ??" She is a religious Zealot also ! UNTIL PMS, then if I look at her wrong, she will jump out of car and walk through town cussing, and sticking the Middle Finger up at me in front of everyone as they drive by, when I begged her to get back in the car and calm down... Worse part, she does not realize what she does to me, but is always pointing out my flaws, and I got a many and what I do to her... And during PMS she will bring up sh*t, I never even remembered, that has been p*ssing her off from decades ago ! My heart grieves for you my Fellow Bro's on here, when I read the sh*t you guys have to put up with also ! I am sick of Women always acting like us Men put them through Hell... BULLSH*T ! You ladies with PMS in a severe form ( My Wife ) ARE HELL ! And after your old blood flow starts and all that crazy shit, anger, rage, moody, sad, goes away and your back to normal, us men are NOT ! That is why I take 2 weeks to even act normal to her... 1 time, she was yelling at me, and I smacked my hand down on the table, and yelled I AM F*CKING SICK OF YOUR NUTTY PMS ! GET SOME D*MN MEDICINE FOR IT ! - She was SO ILLOGICAL, she dialed 9 1 1, and I grabbed the phone and hung it up ! I said "Why did you do that ?" She said "You are scaring me, you smacked your hand down on the table, and yelled at the top of your lungs !" - Sure enough the phone rang and it is Emergency Dispatch, they said we got a call, everything ok ? I said yes, my Wife did that by accident, hit dial by mistake... Are you sure they asked ? I said yes ? They said ok ! BUT I looked out my Window 5 minutes later, and they had a f*cking COP sit outside my house for ( 4 ) hours cause of her Crazy sh*t ! There is an old saying/joke - WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN ??? BECAUSE THEY WANT TOO ! D*mn right ! After her PMS, I just wanna crawl under a f*cking rock myself and pass away !
someone on July 19, 2019:
Richard44, it's not god who made you go down this road again, you realize that right? You made a choice, own it. Looks like you are like me in it, get attracted to the weak and the demented ones. I love my wife as well, with all my heart, and every PMS I want to die. But its clear to me that she only does what is safe - she never breaks any border or do something there is no return from. This means she does have some degree of control. If she would really believe I would leave her as a result of her behavior, she would stop. Sadly, she is smart enough to understand I love her and it would take more than what she does to make me say enough. If she ever use physical violence though, that's the end and she knows it. This is why my wife never dared punching me and your wife has, that's all. At the end of the day, it is your choice, just like in my case it is mine. Be a man and accept it. Wherever you put your borders, this is exactly where your wife would stop, and she would continually test you. If you love yourself and would really not tolerate this, it would not happen. I don't care that much about myself, and I've been taking sh*t from women over it my entire life. Apparently, you care about yourself even less since you would allow her to treat you with physical violence. If you would have been the woman and she would be the man, she would get locked up for it. I don't know what is the solution to all of this, but it is clear to me that the first step is to trace the problem, and I believe this is it - you get treated in the worst way you allow them to treat you. It's both your lack of borders and the fact that you choose the messed up ones (I'm only guessing). Honestly, with my wife I haven't noticed it before it was too late, and now I don't think there is going back. I am thinking about leaving every day over it, but I love her. If you do find a way to make it better, please share here. Now she is on PMS again, and except bitching online and dreaming about being a bachelor again I don't know what to do.
Richard44 on June 25, 2019:
I have to agree with the comments on this article. I am faced monthly with having to deal with my wife's explosive PMS routine. The absolutely irrational behaviour, picking on my past, I have been called every bad word in the world. I have been asked on numerous occasions to "F*#k off", I even had my suitcase packed and thrown at me. I have been pinched, punched, knocked on the head with her fist, I have been pulled out of bed, had cold water poured all over my face whilst in bed.
This is second marriage (I didn't learn from the first one and gave "Love" another chance).
My first marriage ended because she cheated on me and in the midst of that also had severe PMS issues. I was the punching bag, literally. I left because (1) i didn't want my daughter growing up in a home where this kind of abuse would become the norm and (2) I could not stand to be in the same room with her knowing that she cheated on me and she made it seem like it was all my fault. The PMS did not change, even now, 11 years later and she admitted to everything after the divorce.
My current wife, married for 5 years now, is so emotionally unstable during her PMS phase that I just want to crawl into a hole and hide.
3 days ago, this phase started and without warning (because I do not calendar this), hit me like a ton of bricks. It got so bad that I had to leave the house and take a drive otherwise I was going to smack some sense into her. I drove around like a lost soul for over an hour and finally saw a Bar. I parked outside the bar and smoked 3 cigarettes one after the other, deciding whether i should have a few whiskeys or not. My mind ran with thoughts of everything she had said to me and about how my 13 year old daughter, whom i only have every second weekend, was also the worst person, and how i should go back to my ex-wife and my ex was actually right about everything she said about me. I am the "Asshole" the world says I am !!!
I still went home, and slept on the couch, woke up the next morning, made lunches and went work with my "painted happiness face" on.
For 4 - 5 days every month, this my routine. My soul gets crushed and by someone that I Love with all my heart and in all honesty, we only have issues when she PMS's.......... and all the while my heart is slowly being chipped away piece by piece............ when is enough, enough !!
How am I supposed to go home today and tomorrow and the day after and face the woman that said the worst about my daughter, that ripped my soul with her words, making me want to question why the hell did God make me walk down this road again, maybe to make me a stronger person? I don't want to be strong, i want to be happy and not have to worry about how my daughter is going to be treated this weekend when I bring her home ......... when is enough, enough, maybe when I lose my cool and become the raging monster that's developing inside of me :-(
John on August 28, 2018:
The only tip men need is to immediately dump any woman who plays into this bullshit.
It was nice of you to ask the girls not to be jerks. Surely you know you ask the impossible, but hey, you tried.
I'm not interested in mood swings, even if some of the moods are good. I want stability. And after dumping several typical women, I found one that is stable.
Keeping a calendar is absolutely vital for a guy to do. It lets him know the true reason for the woman's insanity. Your not liking this proves that you know you're acting crazy, you're rightly embarrassed about it, but you don't plan on doing anything about it.
Which is all the more reason to immediately dump any woman who uses her period as an excuse to emotionally abuse men and get away with it. There are so many sane woman who are in control of their emotions; why not be with one of them?
Jon on August 26, 2018:
(Pre - Present - Post)MS
Anyone who understands basic physiology knows this is BS. Leave your excuses for some one who buys into it. Hormones are ever present in both genders.
Urantia on June 05, 2018:
All I can say as a guy is that as rough as this period is for us, I'm glad it doesn't happen to men. If I and other men had to deal with 10 freaking straight days of headaches, nausea, cramps, wild mood swings, backaches, insomnia etc., this world would have ended a long, long time ago. Try to be understanding guys, if you had those symptoms for that period of time it would be far worse.
Craig on May 06, 2018:
Men have natural instincts and hormones as well. We are programmed to mate and protect but we are told to stop those hormonal instincts because they are wrong. We do this and struggle with this yet get no support for going against our brain chemistry. Women use hormones and natural events as excuses yet if we tried it we lose in the eyes of all society.
TOLACA3 on May 01, 2018:
I agree, you can't shut your mouth or it offends her as it is ignoring, my lady has SEVERE PMS ! I lose all away across the board, - The ONLY way for me to win for myself, would just have another place to live for 7 days, she just got PMS and it was nutty again ! She cried for no reason, acted like I did something evil to her, called me a bastard, and fucker, and jumped up and down on my pillow on the floor like a baby, till it ripped ! Don't even know this woman for 7 days, can't stand her to be honest, no love for her at all those 7 days, then I love her to death once blood starts flowing, my sweet wife returns ! I honestly don't think when she has PMS if she cared if I got hit by a Mack Truck ! Folks SEVERE PMS is real, and I can't handle it, I just don't feel loved one ounce by her during PMS
Equality on April 30, 2018:
A man doesn’t have to shut up for one week that doesn’t help anything because it can be taken as ignoring on purpose which will be taken as another problem. Everyone EVERYONE has to learn to control themselves as best they can, and be as kind, understanding, and helpful to the other. That goes both ways. Because if there’s any trust, then the “help” that the other is providing won’t be taken wrong by the recieving party - even if it’s not the best thing for the moment.
Thomas on April 30, 2018:
Men, basically keep you mouth shut for one week every month...
Jake on April 25, 2018:
This article took guts to write.
Thanks for the honesty and insite. Much appreciated.
randypoffo on April 24, 2018:
The thing is, in my experience, that none of those suggestions in the article help in any way whatsoever. It’s a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. In what reality is it acceptable to explode at your partner for asking “what time should I put the dinner on for?”. I thought it would be a decent thing to do for somebody to have their meal ready for them when they got back from shopping (or in this case retail therapy) Got that one wrong didn’t I. So no, suggesting nice gestures doesn’t work. “would you like a cup of tea?” is met with a nasty sneer of shut up while she concentrates on the television. Name calling in front of the children, hysterically reacting to whatever she chooses to this week and emotional abuse cannot be explained away by hormones. Case in point … I regularly go to the gym, if I were to supplement my workouts with steroids which could adversely affect my mood swings, I could not excuse my behaviour with “its ok its hormones is all” and quite rightly so. The fact it can be turned off for somebody answering the door as mentioned previously means women know exactly what they are doing they don’t care how it makes their partner feel. They want to hurt them and go straight for the ways they know that will hurt the most.
Inventing a get out clause and putting the emphasis on men and how they should act is a shameful and weak way of shifting blame. Women will have all they support they need ready and waiting for when the hormones kick in. Maybe it’s about time they realised that being intentionally nasty and hurtful isn’t the way to go about getting it.
@not quite Yes men can be cranky. Please please please please for the love of all humanity … when that mood swing kicks in. Keep it at cranky will you. We can deal with cranky.
joe on March 14, 2018:
I'm so identifying with you Tolac3. Except mine goes for about 3 weeks of PMS at a binge. I might be able to tolerate 7 days. I don't care what this "woman" writes on how we are supposed to cope.... Should a domestic violence victim whos female cope with her husband beating her? No absolutely not. That is what life is like for me except it's more emotional not physical. I tolerate it because I am trapped. I have a little girl with the "bitch" that needs me for now and I can't leave. But rest assured, when she starts school and is old enough, I'm out. I'm never sharing my living space or marrying another woman again. And quite honestly I'm only going to have well behaved sexy intelligent ladies over to visit when the urge strikes me. When they go batshit psycho they'll be asked to leave. Marriage is bullshit. If she inevitably proves she can't raise my daughter alone, I'll take that on too. I'd be glad to take that on if the courts weren't already so biased...... I raised my son from first marriage alone, and he's succeeded in life. I don't need a raving psycho bitch around all the time.
I'm of the firm belief that traditional marriage is over. SJW's, Feminazi's etc have ruined the dynamic between us. The logic of this article states we need to accept their biochemical behavior, but will they accept the behavior of us Y chromo guys with high Testoserone? No they don't the get us restrained from our homes, take our children away, and have us living like indentured servants. No more. Just say no to relationships. I'm on my second, and I dream of nothing but being single again.
As far as I'm concerned women are lost. I'm sure their are a some out there, but their impossible to find in the sea of raving psycho bitches!
Q on February 10, 2018:
First, you guys need to grow up; this is a woman trying to be helpful and not someone to dump your half-hatemail comments.
Second, thanks for the article.
Third; Some ladies are better than others but sometimes its unreal. Trying to cope with the idea of proposing to a wonderful gal who is basically hardly tolerable roughly 10 days a month leaves me suicidal at times and all the advice and resources you can share would be a welcome appendix to this article. Thanks.
TOLACA3 on January 28, 2018:
Hi Blake Bill blake, I agree with you 150% ! SHAME on any Woman who treats their spouse or anyone horrible for 7 to 10 days... And that woukld be my wife of 27 years ! - - -- I cannot even stand her during PMS ! I wish I had the financial means to just leave her for good ! It is very hard to even have a drop of love for her !
I feel totally differen't about her the other normal weeks, and I am her # 1 target during her 7 to 10 days of hate and intolerance towards me over virtually everything, and it has made me numb at this point, and ruining the way I feel about our marriage !
I mean here is the sick pattern, the wife is lovable for 3 weeks basically, then she turns into an over sensitive complaining, hateful bitch exclusivelt towards me, ragging my ass about everything I say, do or look at her, no matter what I do it is WRONG ! My blood pressure spikes, to near stroke or fatal levels, I start hating her literally, and wish I could divorce her on the spot.....
Then FINALLY after the blood starts to flow, the anger and her hatred towards me flows out also, and she returns to herself....... BUT at that point, I am still pissed, and hate for an additional week from taking her shit ! So I got about a 2 week a month marriage... Her PMS is so IRRATIONAL, she has been truly a danger to others, with her knee jerk out of whack emotions, she will not seek help, or realize she has severe PMS, and I am the #1 Target...
For years there was always 1 week a month till I finally connected the dots, and figured it out ! 1 week where she hated me, bitched at me sarcastacly on every thing I said, jumped out of out slow moving cars if I said anything she would notmally not get upset about, walked out of grocery stores left cart full, walked down street in broad daylight with her middle finger up at me as I begged her to get back in the car, dialed 911 had cops sit in front of our residence, left me and drove 800 miles with our child in a classic PMS knee jerk reaction, why ? Because I looked at her wrong, or said something that would NEVER offend her, but during PMS week she is overly sensitive, and blows everything I say or do out of proportion ! I cannot take it no more guys ! Someone HELP ME !
In closing, I would say I have Depression, she has put up with that, but I recognize I can be upsetting, take Med, get Therapy and fight it, and realize when I am wrong, she is a BEAST that takes no responsibility of her PMS, and it is just me 100% to blame for her outbursts etc. It is always me, never her ! Ladies reading this, yer PMS is no excuse to target yer Husband ! And my wife never seems to target, friends, just me !
Enough. on November 26, 2017:
I'm going to quote 'dont'buyit' below because he's exactly right:
If you can be super obnoxious and hateful to your husband yet turn it off in an instant and act totally different if someone comes to the door...then I call bullshit. If you can suck it up and act decent to others then no excuses for the way the husband is treated.
Blake Bill blake on August 29, 2017:
You know what? This is nonsense. My wife is absolutely horrible when she gets "the curse". There's no excuse for treating your own family as poorly as she does. This is the equivalent of an alcoholic who won't go get help. Shame on women who ruin 7-10 days of their family's life every month and don't do anything about it!
Matt P. on May 22, 2017:
I've decided to write a quick translation, to what this article reads like to a man, who is fed up.
Don't offer any solutions, unless...
This segment is basically saying, don't try to help your significant other unless it's pampering (which basically says you win, and it's okay to be an ###).
Keep Your Distance, But Not Too Far:
I'm putting you on a shelf, and you have to deal with it because I'm the gatekeeper and that's how society works. I might take you down off that shelf if you serve me some more, though.
Don't Expect Too Much
PMS means that I get a hall pass to treat you however I want, with little or no consequence, because that's how society works.
Understand What's Going On
I will continue to use this golden excuse, because men understanding PMS is like asking them to see a color they've never seen.
Reinforcing, that it sucks to be a woman, but it sucks even more, to have to deal with women and not be one.
Keep a Calendar, But Don't Let Us Know You're Tracking.
Check the weather forecast, but don't put on a jacket. Instead, go outside and be cold and miserable, because how dare you inconvenience me with a reminder that my poor behavior is predictable.
In The End...
It sucks dealing with PMS'ing women, but you'll have to deal with it, because our society favors women.
Not quite on April 24, 2017:
I can tell all of these comments are men. Here's the thing, can any of you honestly say that you have never been a jerk because you were hungry, or tired, or missed your daily cup of coffee? We have all done that. That's why those Snickers commercials are so funny, because we relate to them. Except women can't just eat something and feel normal again. The grouchy, miserable, depression has to just take it's course. If you are not satisfied with this answer then think of it clinically. PMS= hormones right? But what is Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, ect? They are hormonal imbalances and we can't just ask a Schizophrenic to stop being paranoid because "they already know" they are diagnosed with Schizophrenia. PMS is very much out of our conscious control.We try our hardest we really do but the men we love turn into the most infuriating beings on the planet during PMS. Do you think we want to act like this, like savages? If we did than we would not wait until PMS to do it we would do it whenever we want. PMS is a mental disorder no matter what anyone says and the only cure is pregnancy or to stay away from your women. Trust me, she doesn't see you either.
Frankie on April 12, 2017:
Tired of all these ladies telling men what and what not to do when they are the ones that are saying things they shouldn't and are being hurtful. Look, it's tough. We get it. But at what point do women acknowledge that, whether they feel bad or not, they are COMPLETELY 100% responsible for what they say or do. Period. More websites should be written by women to women in instructing them how to overcome this bad behavior, not telling those on the receiving side to just suck it up and deal with it. Every wicked deed and word can be excused by some kind of overwhelming emotion. But just as we control or bladder urges and hold it in when we have to go, women with PMS need to acknowledge they are weak in that moment, take extra precaution, and act accordingly.
Again, tired of these types of articles.
Normanstresskopf on December 06, 2015:
It may, or may not, help to rationalize about the origins of PMS:
A fertile female failing to conceive could have a better chance to procreate after forcing a split from her possibly less potent present partner.
Of course such instinctive behaviour might have made sense only aeons ago, but modern women are still governed by what had formerly been a benefitial genetic strategy; cmp. Richard Dawkins.
Sick of wife Hating me on September 22, 2015:
I agree with Don'tbuyit !
My wife treats me like shit, and looks at me with pure hate and disgust, everything I do, say or whatever pisses her off to know end, yet she seems fine to coworkers, other people in family, but me and her kids ! Her eyes look like evil cobra eyes towards me on PMS week, just getting tired of it !
She truly does not treat coworkers, or others outside the house like shit, but me and the kids, me especially ! I do not even know that woman when she has PMS she literally looks evil and scary at me with hate, she claims she doesnt but it is in her eyes !
Gin on May 06, 2015:
Loving the comment about treating other guys well but you significant other otherwise. My girl treats me like shit for the slightest things and thinks im making excuses at the end of the day. she also said that i did not care for her and did not ask if she was still in pain or how was she doing, when in actual fact, i have asked every single day, amd hoping she doesn't get in too much pain. Having done all that, she said i did not do it and other guys had to do it for her And thatshe was disappointed with that, and there comes the shit again, with me not being responsible enough and not caring enough. Can anyone tell me what i should do on this
Don'tbuyit on July 29, 2014:
If you can be super obnoxious and hateful to your husband yet turn it off in an instant and act totally different if someone comes to the door...then I call bullshit. If you can suck it up and act decent to others then no excuses for the way the husband is treated.