Marriage Counseling – What Makes It Work and When?
The divorce rate is getting higher all over the world for both first and second marriages. Marital distress is painful emotionally for not only the couple involved, but also the children of the couple.
Many people try to give their marriage a second chance through marriage counseling and no wonder, this is high in demand. Marriage counseling has actually helped many to save their respective marriages, but there are factors which contribute to the overall effectiveness of this:
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Many marriage counselors feel that this type of therapy performs better in terms of saving a marriage. This is known to reduce the marital stress and certain statistics show that approximately 50% of the couples were able to save their marriage after termination of this therapy. The number grows to 70% when you include the next 3 months after terminating the therapy.
The success rate obviously depends on the nature of problems that the couple are having and also the willingness of both the parties to resolve their issues. That being said, with almost 90% of the couples willing to give their marriage a chance after undergoing this therapy maintain a healthy relationship after 3 years. Therefore, it can be concluded that this therapy works pretty fine.
Realistic Expectations are needed
Many couples have unrealistic expectations coming into a marriage counseling therapy and this never helps. The goal that they want to achieve should be something attainable. For example, they may not be on proper talking terms and the therapy can actually help them to have a healthier and more meaningful conversation at the end of the sessions.
Sometimes, the therapies last for months, even years, so if you expect that a therapy will fix your marriage in a week, you are probably mistaking the purpose of it.
Communication Techniques: How To Save Your Marriage
Domestic Violence Is Known to Take a Toll
One partner tries to manipulate the relationship and also take up coercive tactics for maintaining control over the other – this is domestic violence by definition. It doesn’t have to be physical all the time; it can be emotional as well. When the perpetrator understands that he or she is losing power and control, the degree of abuse can get to a higher level. People not physically violent before may show signs of that. If you are at the receiving end, it’s important for you to be completely honest about domestic violence with the marriage counselor.
On the other hand, the batterer usually doesn’t take any responsibility of the actions and hence, such situations get tricky and are more complex to be resolved. Just to add, physical abuse is the last straw for many people unsatisfied in a relationship and once they have made up their mind, it’s tough for any type of marriage counseling to offer any substantial help.
Have you ever been divorced?
The Effectiveness of the Counselor Is Important
There are many therapies providing marriage counseling and some are undoubtedly more effective than the others. An effective therapist is engaged in the work that he is performing and should be completely invested in the troubled relationships.
Marriage counseling is not easy and there is no end to the formal education as one should continue to study various cases for enhancing the skill and knowledge. With time, experience is gathered which is extremely important to have for marriage counselors. Apart from all these, the marriage counselor should honor the confidentiality policy, thereby maintaining the professional boundaries.
When you are on the brink of a divorce and you feel that you still want to give it a try, you should try marriage counseling. It may work or it may not, but, at least, you will know that you tried your best.