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Just Because She Got a Baby by Him Don't Mean Nothing . . . or Does It?

Updated on June 22, 2017
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Baby Mama Drama!

Oooh, this subject makes my head hurt simply because it's so stressful being in a relationship with a man who has "Baby Mama Drama." It doesn't have to be though. All it takes is for everybody to know their role and stick to the script. A lot of people don't realize that the man in the middle is the director in this soap opera. But some men just don't take that job seriously enough, which always leads to trouble and chaos.

Most men tend to fall asleep at the wheel when it comes to making sure everyone knows there place in his world. He's just rather let the chips fall where they may instead of doing the hard job of just being honest with everybody and let them make the decision to stay or to go. Because it's one person involved in this while situation that has no say so whatsoever and in the end this man in the middle should always choose his child. If the new woman in your life cannot except the fact that you have a child then she needs to kick rocks, because nobody should come between you and your child.

Honesty Is A Requirement

The man is and always will be in the middle of this urban battle, but only if he doesn't stand up and be the man that he should be. He has to be honest with both parties, he has to respect both parties, he has to be open with both parties, and he has to make sure that both parties know and understand the most important part of all of this is the child.

The most common mistake that a man dealing with baby mama drama makes is that he just can't seem to cut the sexual ties with the woman who bore his child. Just by him going there with her, it sets off a chain of events that could have easily been avoided. Easier said than done, I know. But it has to happen in order for the child to be raised in a stable environment, even if mommy and daddy aren't together anymore.

Like I said before, the man holds all of the cards. The women involved can only play with the hand he deals them. He has to make it clear to the woman that he is involved (right up front), and that the relationship with his baby mama is focused strictly on the well-being of his child. He has to also be sure to keep her informed of all of the activities, meetings, conversations or any other direct contact that he may have with the mother of his child. I know this may sound extreme but keeping her involved and informed on what's going on will lower the chances of distrust and insecurity on her end.

He Needs to Tell Her the Truth

He also has to do the same with the child's mother. Although this may not go down so easy, it's all about the approach. She may not want another woman around her child that she does not know—plain and simple. That will be her first argument. But that's not all.

This is a very delicate situation, because they may not have parted on the best terms, so therefore she may have her guard up about anything and everything her ex is involved with (including who they're with.) So this can make things complicated, but he still has to let her know what's going on. He needs to explain to her that he has another woman in his life, which may be something that she really does not want to hear. But he has to let her know anyway, because if she finds out that her child was around a person that she does not know, god forbid what happens next. That's why he should tread softly and watch his approach. He has to let her know that he has taken interest in another.

Hold on — he has to be quick with this though. He should also let her know what this woman means to him. She may give him the eye (and believe me all men know the "eye"). But he still has to let her know this (only if he is serious though) so that way she can know that he respects and cares enough about this woman to tell her about her. She'll respect that. I'm not saying that she'll like it, but she will respect that.

My Baby Mama Situation

Well the day that I met my now fiancé, I could tell that he was having "Baby Mama Drama." I had no feelings for him at the time. I just felt sorry for him and that was the first thing that I crossed out on my, 'I need a man list:' "No Baby Mamas" (and this man had a couple.) Long story short, he made me go 'oooh-wee' and things changed for both of us. I found out that this man was not an ordinary man, and I will explain what I mean about this.

Ladies, this man would call up his baby mamas, with me laying right next to him in the bed and would put these women on speaker phone. He did this just so I could hear what his relationship with them was like. He didn't do this that one time. This man did this every time, even if they called him, which really surprised me. Just by him doing that, it opened up trust and confidence in my relationship with this man.

Hey, not all men can live up to the title of being a "Real Man," and those who don't will still find a fool to give him some.

A Response to a Reader

Miami asked:

wat if dat man baby mama's r send'n him 2 jail n they still come n his face laugh'n like aint nuthin happen n always disrespect'n me but i alway's check they ass even 1 of the baby mama's sister 's i myself feel like 1 they gonna b laugh'n 1 nite drink'n wit him n the constables r goin 2 pull up n ask 4 him n they gon say there he am i wrong 4 sayn dat 2 him.

My Response:

First of all, NO, you are not wrong for saying that to him, because you are concerned about your man. I ask why is he being so stupid as to let these females drag him into a bunch of nonsense. Like I said, he holds the power in this situation. If the baby mamas are disrespecting you like you say that they are, then he needs to set them straight. He has to do this, not you. If he loves you and cares about you, then he would never ever let anybody disrespect you in no kind of way, shape or form. He needs to handle his business, plan and simple.

You need to know your role in all of this and it is not to check anybody. You have to be his calm after the storm, (i.e. baby mamas). They don't want to see him happy with somebody else. Which is why they try to keep up so much mess. That is why they keep starting stuff with you and starting stuff with him. This is all a part of the plan . . . Oh, you don't know the plan, well here it is and I'm sure that you've heard this before. "If I can't have him then ain't no other B gonna have him." The plan is to give him hell, just as long as they have a baby together.

But you can stop this simply by staying out of all of that mess that they are keeping up. They know that they are getting to you because you are ready to check them the minute you hear that your name came out of their mouths. That is not the way to handle it, at all. I'm sure that you have better things to do with your time. You never let anybody turn your world upside down like these women are trying to do.

As for him getting thrown in jail and he keeps hanging out with them, that is just ludicrous. He has to find his own way. If he is a good man to you and he is worth keeping, then you have to have the patience while he is finding his way, because girl you really have your hands full. I hope that you are not coming up with his bail money though. :)

I'll leave you with this: Your home is your sanctuary. Never let mess stroll through your front door disguised as people you trust.

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    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 10 hours ago

      Hi Trina,

      I'm sure you've already answered that question in your mind. If the two of you were face to face what would you tell her? Got it. Okay. Would you be telling her something he would not want her to know?

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 10 hours ago

      Hi T,

      You have every reason to be concerned. I have questions? Does she know about you? If the answer is no, then they are still together in her eyes. The only way to truly know, is ask her. He will probably tell you what you want to hear, but she will tell you the truth. Otherwise you will continue to feel like he's hiding something. You have to come correct though. Explain to her what you've been told and let her know that you just want the truth so that you're not wasting your time on a man who's already spoken for.

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      32 hours ago

      What if your in a distant relationship with someone and his babymama comes to his house frequently so he can be updated on how the baby is doing ?( she hasn't had the baby yet she's 3 months pregnant .

    • profile image

      Trina 5 days ago

      I would like to know why my baby daddy doesn't want his girlfriend talking to me @ all?

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      Leigh 7 weeks ago

      What if a man swears up and down to his girlfriend he does not want to be with his BM b/c of the drama she brings but yet he still entertains her..He said he has love for her but not in love with her(even tho she still has feelings for him). Why even entertain your bm if u kno urself she is Crazy&basically keeps her child from you when she doesn't gets her way.

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      Adin 10 months ago

      Hi so i recently started dating this guy about 5 months ago. He has a baby that is 6 months.now i know it was kinda crazy of me not to dig a little further into the relationship status of he and his childs mother but honestly i didnt think things would get serious with us this fast or if at all.i had plans for it to being nothing more than a phone convo play thing.but here i am deeply involved with this man im not 100 percent sure of. When we first start dealing she called my phone asking me questions and i lied to her and told we were nothing because for one again at that time we hadnt had sex and emotionally i felt nothing for him. I blocked his number and he came back.looking for me i told him.he should thank me for.not spilling the beans and to just go head.because i didnt have time for kinda crap.he kept pursing me. fast forward in time i eventually gave back in.a couple months later i received a text from her on his phone saying he has a family back ot which is in harrisburg being as though im from philly anyways and to stop contacting him. I didnt get the text until the morning which is when i confronted him about it he tells me that he left his phone on a charger and she went in it.then a couple weeks later i face time his phone accidently and he didnt answer but 20 minutes later she calls me back screaming at him demanding tell her who i am a scuffle insued and the phone hung up. I called him back he again gave me the i left my phone unattended crap.fed up from not getting anywhere with him i dmed her a message with my number and asked her to call me so we can get to the bottom of things instead she wanted to argue back and forth telling me they are very much in a active relationship and that he told him that i was his sister and that i was dealing with his brother sounds pretty weird and incest to me but whatever she never called. Next incident he and i were together and he left his phone with me and told me to answer because he was waiting on an important called and unstored number called and it was her and she got so upset and asked who was i and where was he. I wasnt petty i told her to hold on while i got him. She hung up and blew his phone up. He came back i told him she called and he said ok walked back out and took his phone with him no telling what lie he made up.but anyways he swears up and down they arent together i know she makes up stories because when we are together she pretends hes with her. She blows up his phone when he doesnt answer and question him on why he didnt.ask him on what takes him so long to answer if he doesnt pick up fast enough. Wants him to watch his kid at her house.calls for absolutely nothing in regards to their daugther all day at all times of the nite.spits on him and breaks his phones.calls his po and bleached his clothes on top of calling all around the world to his exes trying to get 411 on me. If she hears a girl in the back she blows up his phone and try to remain on there with him for as long as possible. Yea he answers for her in front of me he didnt us to at first.

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      Windham 12 months ago

      So my husband's bm calls me the other day and tells me she's moving my step son to a different school this year. She thinks she's suppose to be my friend and asks me to keep this conversation just between the 2 of us until she gets him transferred. I told her I would but at the same time I had my doubts, so when my husband got off of work I took his phone from him and sat him down and explained this stuff to him. We have been together 2 years compared to their 10. She just had a new baby and it seems that relationship is crumbling, it seemed to me she was trying to break the trust between me and my husband so she could try to come in between us. Their son means the world to me and I try to keep the peace as much as possible but at the end of the day I am on my husband's side... Now we have went to talk to a lawyer to see about getting custody... Did I do the right thing??

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      michellelee 19 months ago

      Okay so ive been dating this guy for 5months. He broke up with bm not long before getting with me. Im 18 hes 25. Shes brought up my age a lot. Well hes the most sweet caring loving guy.. but he just does not put her in her place. Ive got him to slowly but surely stop talking to her if its not about the kid. She finds every little thing to talk about. She harrasses me to so I got a protective order.. so now she wants him to meet her for a few hours so he can see his child with her there. I feel like hes gonna end up cheating with her if hes not already or something. Idk I have a bad feeling and shee honestly ruined my relationship. Im just not happy. I hear about her all the time she won't get out of my life. I have a doctor's apt in a week to find out if im pregnant and im dreading it. I dont want a child with him because my pregnancy will some how end up being about her. Everything is. I tell him I want to leave and he says hes trying.I do really love him. What do I do?

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 19 months ago

      Hi Karene,

      You're absolutely right, situations like this are not easy to deal with. Here are just a few questions you have to ask yourself. Be honest with yourself and make your decision on if this is something you can deal with.

      Are you willing to deal with a man who has 3 kids and a Baby Mama who is still in love with her children's father?

      Are you willing to deal with this man that will spend the majority of his time at his Baby Mama's house for the kids sake.

      Are you willing to deal with this man financially supporting his Baby Mama and children?

      Are you willing to deal with this man being obligated to his Baby Mama and children for 18 years or more?

      Are you willing to share half of your finances with this man in order for him to support his Baby Mama and children?Because that's what's going to happen if all of his finances are obligated to them. If you all move in together majority of the expenses will fall on you, unless he is financially stable enough to provide for two households for 18 years or more. You have to really be a strong minded, self assured, trusting individual to deal with the situation that you're in. Some people may even say you have to be a fool to put up with that much carp. It all depends on the individual and the task at hand. Relationships are work, no need to add Baby Mama Drama to it. I say keep it moving it Girl and tell him to holler at you in 18 years. Thanks for your comment.

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 19 months ago

      Hi Taryn,

      First off I will start by saying this; some relationships are worth fighting for, but this one my dear is not one of them. It's just too much going on and you will end up hurt.

      1. He's still legally married.

      2. He has a child and possibly one on the way.

      3. His wife is not willing to let go of her husband.

      4. I'm guessing they still live together.

      5. You all live in a place that can put you in jail for aldutry. (WTF?)

      I don't know about you, but there is no man or woman worth going to jail for. If he can't go out of town without his wife, it's because that's his wife and they are a family. Back away from him and this mess that he is in. If they are getting a divorce, let him take care of that, before trying to make a relationship with you. Remove yourself from this whole situation and if indeed he loves you as much as you love him he will find you once the dust has settled on his relationship with her. As of right now he is still married and you don't need to put your life on hold for no married man. Keep your head up and keep it moving girl. Thanks for the comment.

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 19 months ago

      Hi Naomidickiens,

      Social Media is the devil sometimes. What I would love to know is what exactly did you post on Twitter for her to take it so harshly that she wants to fight you. Never mind, I'm just being nosy. Lol! Nonetheless, you two need to have a sit down about this. There is a child involved and for her to not want her daughter around you or her father is crazy. Your words really hurt her feelings, even though they weren't meant for her. Okay I must know what did you say on Twitter. In order for me to know why she took it so hard and if there can be a resolve in this relationship. Having a non biased mediator there when you do sit down with her can really help you two solve this issue. The longer you stay quiet, the more guilty you look.

      Thanks for the comment!

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 19 months ago

      I'm sorry that I've been missing in action for a while. I've been working hard at finishing my first fiction novel; Scorpion Love available on Amazon. It's free to Amazon Prime and Kindle Unlimited members. Yay Me! Lol! Now I'm back to y'all. I've missed reading your stories of your Baby Mama Drama. For the rest of the week I will be responding to all posts everyday. Thanks for being patient with your girl.

      -Kisha

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      Karene 22 months ago

      Hi I've been dating this guy for 5 months and when we first started chatting he said he had 2 kids one 3yrs and the other 6months and him and his BM doesnt get along at all. A month later he confessed that his BM is actually 6months pregnant. The baby was born about 2 weeks ago and he went from staying with me to staying with her and says it's only until she's back to normal. He wouldn't tell me about some of their conversations where she threatens to move away with her kids whenever he he doesn't do what she wants. She acts as if she owns him. He would messsage me all the time even come spend the night sometimes. He also shared the birthing experience with me and would often send me pictures of kids. His BM doesnt have a stable job so apparently he doesn't take care of just his kids but her as well because whenever her credit runs low she'll call and this frustrates him. I'm confused as to weather I should just walk away or trust him and wait to see because I like him. They seem to be getting along good for now and i think she wants him back although he said he's not on that with her anymore because she loves drama. I just dont know what to think or do at this point. Situations like this are not easy to deal with.

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      Taryn 2 years ago

      I really need your help. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 weeks and i have known him for 6 years. When we had just started talking he told me that he did have a daughter and that they are technically by law married, so him and they baby momma wanted a divorce and now that he has the papers for that she dosent want to sign them anymore becaue of me, and the baby momma is German and for some reason she dosent like me just cause im black, so she told him she didn't wanan sign the papers because she wanted to work on things with him for their daughter, and found out today that she is 6 or 7 months pregnant and he is not sure if its his. The baby momma threated to put him in jail because he is dating me while he still married, but she was hoeing around dating and having sex with other guys but he didn't want to put his daughter's mon is jail and idk what to with this situation, i understand that i will never come between him and his daughter and the baby momma but i just feel like im some kind of shadow, i asked him when he was coming back to town and all i got was idk and you know the baby momma will be with me and im scared to loose him because he is the best thing thats ever happened to me as my boyfriend and best friend idk what to do about this and i would really love it, if you could help me with this problem i have. This was very helpful by the way

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      Naomidickiens 2 years ago

      I need some advice !!! I been with my current boyfriend for over three years now . He has a six year old daughter of which she loves me very much . The child's mother and I keep it neutral ("hi & bye etc ") . Lately things have changed! Things have changed because of social media! I had post a comment on my Twitter account , and I guess someone that was friends with her say it and told her ( the person was mutual friend) . The post was not directed to her not or for her! Next thing I know , she tells my boyfriend I am not allowed to attend special-school event because she can not be in the presences of me . And tells the little girl negative comments about me and tells the child she can not spead time with her dad or I . That was very uncall for . My boyfriend was very upset about this but disobeyed her and took the child to spead time . He is a great father to his child . The baby mother now writes crap on her Facebook talking stuff about me and how if she sees me at a school event for the child she will fight me . I been very mature and not written anything about her because I do not need to or even talk about her . And she is basically putting all this drama on herself because it was not for her my post! That's what people do not understand about social media , if you put a comment-post they take it the wrong way . My boyfriend did speak to her about her issues . But I did not ask him about it because I didn't want to be nosey . My question is .. Now that she thinks this stuff is about her which is not , why she doesn't come and reach me out if she has a problem? Although I know she won't because she is going to feel stupid stalking my page (my page is private). How should I handle all this drama now with her ? I told my boyfriend I would gladly speak to her and he said no just let it be she has to get over it .

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Valenzuela,

      So let me get this straight. He lives with his Baby Mama and you are currently living with your Baby Daddy?? Yeah you'reright , your situation is hella complicated. If the two of you really felt as strongly about each other as you say. There would be nothing that would keep you two from getting a place of your own while still making sure your children are taken care of. Okay so you don't want to believe that BM is still having sex with him? Ask yourself if you are still having sex with the man you're living with? If the answer is yes then there you go. You want him to move out, but where is he going to go? Is he going to stay with you and BD. Probably not. Are you ready to move out from your BD? Come on I'm just saying, is this relationship really worth breaking up two households? Think about it and get back at me. Thanks for the comment. I wish you all nothing but the best.

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      valenzuela 2 years ago

      OK my situation is a Lil complicated .I met this guy in college. We are in the same situation we both stay with our partners. .have a step kid n a 3 yr old kid.i have 2 girls n he has 2 boys..he stays with his bby momma n I stay with bby daddy. Problem is she found out about us 5months ago .and we'll we still continue seen each other.without her car ring .I knew it was wrong but we love each others company .well to get to the bottom of this he keeps saying he will move out but he hasn't cause his 3 yr old .but he seems to give her way to much respect. He says he will always care for her cause that's the child's mom.he also has an older son his 18 n he sees him once in a while.but he had a bad relationship with his other bby momma.n she don't allow him to be part of his older kid.so with this bby momma he has he keeps using the excuse of living at the right time.to avoid drama.or court.well last week she found out that we still been seen each other but it's clearly his still there...he tells me to have patience but idk...she said they been sleeping together but I'd if she's saying this out of anger or not.he said no n things are done.that the only reason he hides me is to avoid drama.what do u think. I really do love this guy.

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      Elaine 2 years ago

      I'm glad I found this website... I really need an advice... My bf and I were dating for over 2 yrs now. He has a son at that time was only 5 yrs old. I have girls of my own who are 9 and 16 now. We were fine when the boy's mom wasn't around.. She was in a different state and living with a husband and 3 kids from previous marriage. The BM found another guy and left the hubby and moved back here ... The new bf got in jail. The BM is a heroine addict and now she is always at my boyfriends apartment. She is not working and all she does is to be with my bf's son. I started getting paranoid that they might do something behind my back... Since she sleeps over at his place. I told my ng that he better not be sleeping with her because she used to sell herself just to get drugs. He told me that she is only in his son's life not his and he is not sleeping with her nor have any plans of sleeping with her. He also said that she is leaving too because that's the way she is. All our friends told me to trust him because they know that he's being truthful with me. I know I'm way way better than this BM. Do I need to be jealous and insecure?

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi laparis

      Pheww! Girl! Why did you take him back? Let me get this straight. He cheated on his wife with you. He cheated on you with his wife and went back to her. He cheated on his wife and got a baby by another chick. Now he's on your doorstep and you think that he's hiding something? If you want to be with him, you can't worry about the lies and the cheating, because that is just what he is. A cheater and a liar. You know that. So my question is, what do you need help with? Girl send him and his problems back to his wife. Thanks for the comment laparis. Best of luck to you.

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Tasha,

      It seems like you genuinely want to be apart of the relationship he has with his kids. Unfortunately if the kids' mothers don't want that to happen then it's not much you can do about it. I say continue to build on your relationship with your man and keep that going strong. Eventually they will realize, that you're not there to hurt the situation, but to help it. I don't believe in putting my relationship business on Facebook anyway. You know how you feel about your man and he knows how he feels about you, so why does everybody on Facebook have to know? That's just how I feel. You don't worry about what they say about you. Your one and only concern is your relationship with him and him only. Let him deal with his Baby Mamas. Lord help him cause he got 4 of them! Allow him to take care of his children. Keep the drama out of your relationship. My fiancée and I have been together for 5 years and last year was the first time I actually spoke on the phone to his son's mother. Now we exchange gifts on mother's day. When he speaks to her on the phone, I'm quiet, simply because, that's her time to inform him on how his son is doing. I don't have to make my presence known. I'm not in a relationship with her. I'm in a relationship with him. He gets all of my attention. Strengthen your relationship first and then work on building others. Thanks for your comment and I wish you nothing but the best.

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      laparis 2 years ago

      just looking fir answers to my unanswered questions and I know I'm in the right place..so I've known my dude for about four years total and have been seriously dating him for about a year...We use to work together and in the beginning I couldn't stand him!!!! he had a wife at the Tyme we first started dealing.(which I'm not proud of) things went way further then they were supposed to go..so we were dealing for a few months until he just disappeared...(he went back to his wife)TWOO YEARS pasted before I saw him again he had two kids that I knew of but when he returned he had two MORE...one that he claimed was a made up baby. .but later told me that he did have a newborn....I know two of his babymomma's but the last one he won't let me met...he's says it's my attitude like I can can just hate this women and not even know her..REALLY.... I found love cards and stuff that's she's sent and etc....I don't get it??? I think he's hiding some thing from me when it comes to her...HELPPPP

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      lovelyred 2 years ago

      I have a question

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      Tasha 2 years ago

      I need some help or advice on my situation. my boyfriend has 4 kids with 4 different women. I am not allowed around his kids because their mothers feel I am too young immature and don't know what I want in life. I am in my mid twenties and my boyfriend is in his early thirties. I'm pretty sure his kid's mothers are around his age. I have been called every name under the sun. my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months.my boyfriend wants me to meet his kids but he doesn't want his baby mamas to make his life miserable. they are so bad that we can't even post on each other's fb or make our relationship fb official because they will stalk me. please tell me what I should do if they is anything that can be done

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      Tasha 2 years ago

      I need some help or advice on my situation. my boyfriend has 4 kids with 4 different women. I am not allowed around his kids because their mothers feel I am too young immature and don't know what I want in life. I am in my mid twenties and my boyfriend is in his early thirties. I'm pretty sure his kid's mothers are around his age. I have been called every name under the sun. my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months.my boyfriend wants me to meet his kids but he doesn't want his baby mamas to make his life miserable. they are so bad that we can't even post on each other's fb or make our relationship fb official because they will stalk me. please tell me what I should do if they is anything that can be done

    • tarkishat profile image
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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Pam90,

      This right here is a question only he can answer. If your relationship is strong and the communication between you two about this whole situation is good. Then I say no. But if you have doubt then you should speak with your man about it so you will not be caught off guard by any lagging feelings for Baby Mama. Here's a little advice, seeing that this is in fact his child. You should become very supportive of his relationship with his child. Hey even get the child a gift to show that you are okay with him being a father to his child. The reason for this is so he does not have to hide his feelings and what he is doing for his child behind your back. Once he starts sneaking around to see his child because you can't take the relationship, then chances are he'd rather cut off from you to be with the kid. As for Baby Mama, don't argue with her, let her argue with herself. He has to be the one to let her know that the relationship is over and it's all about the child now. That's for him to tell her. Not you. If you trust him to make the right decisions then this should work out well. If you don't trust him as far as you can see him regarding this situation, then you should just let him go now. Trust is very important in a relationship.

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      Pam90 2 years ago

      So my boyfriend of 3 years on and off has a 6 month old baby by another woman. This woman kicked him out of the hospital when she had her because he wanted a DNA test . Like wtf ! He finally got one and come to find out the baby is his so now here it is 6 months later and now all of a sudden she wants him back in her life. She keep calling the house phone popping up at his work really trying to get with him. So my question is do you think he will leave me for his baby mamma?

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      Terri 2 years ago

      Is it possible to be with a man who is your baby dad who is cheating, although not in a relationship? Let me explain. My baby dad has other kids, wants me to commit to him, but he doesn't commit to me. He has other chicks and wants me to wait. I seen the above comment for the other girl about waiting forever. Guys don't want other girls they just want any girl who wants them. If I have all the answers, why am I so torn. I want to be able to tell him. But if he feels like he's trapped by our family he will leave. How can I make him stay, with out the drama from other girls and other baby mommas? Every girl wants their family, and I really don't know what to do, expect give him an ultimatum? And why should I have to tell him I want that commitment, and stability when he knows already, how can I make it clear to him. Never cheated, or lied to him. Am I doing the right thing or am I to committed ?

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Dreya, sorry it took me so long to respond. Girl as long as he taking care of home, you just let them other chicks keep wishing they were you. Keep the communication open between you and him so that if he feels the need to tell you something he will. You can't worry about the future, because tomorrow is not promised to any of us. If you don't feel that the two of you are ready for another child, then by all means, put that on the back burner. As for the questions he's asking, I do think it's a little odd and may take some looking into. Just ask him, why is he asking you this and how it makes you feel when he asks you stuff like that. Wishing you and them babies nothing but the best!

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      aeshya 2 years ago

      I have a man and he has baby momma drama. She refusing to let him see his only son but demands that be sends money for him. And his mother agrees with his baby momma. I wanna cuss him and his momma out. What should I do

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      kk 2 years ago

      I am my baby dad second baby momma. Me and him do not get along for nothing. He lies about EVERYTHING. The whole time I was pregnant. I didn't know he was with his first baby momma. He has not been in my daughter life but has been in the other two life. He did the same thing to her. Know they together and she and I argue about if the baby is his baby or not. Which she is. He knows that. He's telling her I want him and that the DNA test we took fake. Which is real. The first baby momma just believe what ever he say. I hope once. We go to to court this time he would just be honest. I don't know what to do with him. He find excuse to run off. I feel he is with that baby momma because he can really just tell her anything literal.

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      Dreya 2 years ago

      I have 3 kids 3 baby dads. I have recently had my third kid with my 3rd baby dad. We have only been together for 6 months and I got pregnant. We broke up, and got back together after I had my baby. He helps me with the other kids. He also has other kids. He has 1 baby mom that he doesn't talk to and 1 that I believe he still talks to. There's also an ex who keeps posting old post with him and her on social media, he said he doesn't talk to her but she seems to believe their still in a relationship. He comes home every night and seems that's the only thing that matters. I want to love him unconditionally and keep my family, but I'm scared that he's cheating and will leave me. He thinks I'm talking to other guys and accuses me of cheating and being bored with him, and I'm not. He asks me if I'm good enough for him? And I'm not understanding why he's asking me these questions. He asked me to have another baby with him but we're struggling. And barely having enough to maintain. I want to fight for my relationship, but I want him to know I'm serious, I can leave and take care of my kid and other kids by myself but I love my family and I'm torn. I need help! I want a man who knows my worth, who doesn't disrespect me and allow these girls to post pics, are just around. How do I tell him without giving him an ultimatum?

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi, Trina,

      What you waiting for? Girl you'll be waiting forever. Listen to your first mind, because it seems to have all the answers. You deserve to be a man's Queen. Never settle for anything less than that. I understand that you love him. Let him be a father to your children, but if he can't be the man you need him to be then he has to kick rocks. You're not asking for much. Talk to him and let him know how you feel and if he can't change, then you can do bad all by yourself. Best of luck to y'all.

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      Trina 2 years ago

      My kids father is in jail, he has several girlfriends and 3 baby mothers. He tells me he wants to be with me but assuming he tells the other girls the same thing. I want to be with this man, but it's drama. He tells me to not worry he only tells them what the want to hear so they can be around to take care of him but in confused. I don't want to keep pressuring him to not talk to them , but should I say something? I need him to know I'm serious or I'm going to leave or should I just wait it out until he comes home?

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Goldbeneyes69,

      You have a reason to feel disrespected. He's laying up with you and his other baby mama. He obviously knows her personality. He knew that if he treated her the way he treated you at the family reunion, she would have snapped on him, right in front of Mother, brother, sister, uncle and cousin. He knew who he could get away with this with. So I say this, stop giving him your goodies if you can't be #1. Let him be a father to his child, but you deserve to be treated like a queen, red carpet and all. Never forget that there is a man out there made just for you. Don't be sad, this was him showing you that he is not the one. Keep your head up Queen, your King is somewhere waiting.

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Lisa,

      No you're not wrong to worry. You are a new mother and congrats by the way. Being a new mother will make you want to protect your child by any means necessary. If this girl really loves your Baby Daddy then she would show you some respect in order for you to feel comfortable with having your son around her. He needs to talk to her and you about squashing this mess that he created so that you all can be positive parents in your child's life. Now as for you Ms. Lisa, he did you wrong, but he's a good father, now leave it there. If you keep having sex with him, you're going to keep getting hurt. He's moved on to another relationship and so should you. Be ready though, he's not gonna want your new man around his son either. I know you all are young, but having a child forces you to grow up quick. Best of luck to you and the baby.

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      goldeneyes69 2 years ago

      Feeling disrespected

      I'm I wrong for feeling this way? Today I took my son to his family reunion on his dad side. I was given a formal invitation from my son's dad to come and have fun with his family. Since July my son's dad and I have grew closer and have decided that we want to grow closer together with us potential building a relationship. We tell each other that we love each other and we also make love on a regular basis. For me today all of that went out the window. Yes, he invited me to come and I've talk to him several times before I arrived, not once did he tell me that the other baby mama was there. I wouldn't have bother me that she was there because yes she is the mother of his 2 other children, however that wasn't the vibe I was getting. She made it known to me that they are a bit closer than what he had me to believe. She called him babe several times and each time he responded. He didn't correct her not once. Keep in mind that this is the first family reunion that my son and I attended with him and I felt uncomfortable because of not knowing anyone except him. Normal when I'm coming to meet or see him, he normally comes to the car to greet me with a hug and a kiss, that wasn't the case today. When I mention it to him he tries to hug me. I ask him to fix me a plate, which he did however instead of him handing it to me, he gives it to my son to pass down to me. Not once did he come and sit next to me to talk to me. I sit there by myself playing on my phone. He sits and next to and talk with his other baby mama the entire time. When he did get up he would talk to me as he walks by. I didn't say anything, however I did get my son and we left as I hand enough of being second to NOT best. As of this moment he has not called or text to ask me anything. Am I wrong for feeling disrespected and ending what I thought could be a potential relationship? For me actions speak louder than words. I'm not insecure or jealous as I have no reason to be. I'm a person that have a 0 tolerance policy for liars.

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      Haz3l 2 years ago

      Ok...I've known my boyfriend 15yrs plus. We were friends with benefits for maybe 3yrs then lost touch for about 11yrs, found one another like a yr ago. Found out he had been with his ex for 10yrs and had 3 children with her. She had a baby 5months old when they met, which he claimed as one of his own because his father wasn't around. Long story short we're together been together a year in Nov. She has disrespected my home, hit my car. I've fought her (which im too grown for) but had to earn my respect (i thought). She damages his things. And she don't want their children around me for no reason. She is nothing but drama. Even tho they're not together he does ANYTHING for his children that she asks, even the child that isn't his. Now because we're together she wants to put him on child support. So he now works out of state, and when he comes home after 3 weeks at a time he wants to spend time with his children. Bt she wont let him because she says im going to be around. Sooo, the father of the son thats not his pops up into the childs life. She wants to throw it up in his face that her son is with his REAL dad, which hurts his feelings, now school is back in he tells her to tell his dad he needs school clothes and not him. Bit because he loves the child he still does for him......My question is how am i suppose to feel about this? I feel like she's hurting him with his children because of me, also i feel she doing him wrong and hes still doing what she wants him to do....Im confused. I'm 32, he's 37 and she's 35

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      Lisa 2 years ago

      My baby's father and I were still having sex while I was pregnant we weren't n a relationship but he led me on to think that he might actually have feelings for me asking me do I love him ,holding my hand ,not wanting me to be with other guys(maybe this was due to the fact that i was pregnant with his child idk). So a month ago a few weeks before i had my son I was in the mood and text him to come over and he said,

      'I cant I'm going to hang out with (our sons godfather his best friend)'

      And then a second later

      'Or Jessica (not the girls real name)'

      I asked him who Jessica was and he told me this girl he been talking to that they haven't defined they're relationship yet and he's not sure if they ever will.

      I felt so hurt that he was dismissing me as if our nine months if being together meant nothing I didn't want to be a FWB he put me in that position had sex with me after I told him i can't have sex and not get attached, that i rather be just friends. Not only did he lead me on he was having sex with other girls too.

      Out of jealousy and hurt from being rejected I messaged this girl on Facebook and my motive was to show her just what type of guy he was how he used girls as place holders and then treats them like they never mattered after he used them. I never once called her names but she was just plain insulting, judging me for not having a diploma stating that she was in college when it had nothing to do with the situation. I told her he was texting her while he was at my house just after having sex with me (sometime before I found out about Jessica is saw a message from her pop up on his tablet but i didn't think any of it.) Well she didn't care in fact I think she knew about my baby father and i having sex which I thought extremely disrespectful him talking to a girl he just met about out my sex life. After she talked down on me I got upset and told her 'well I just wanted you to know because we get into arguments all the time and end up hooking up again.'

      It was childish I admit. She decided to add my baby father to the conversation and he just put me down like i was so dumb to think he ever wanted to be with me and tried to make himself look like the good guy. Anyways long story short there I ended up looking like a fool realizing that he loved this girl not me that he rather be with this girl he just met than the mother of his child. The fact that he was jumping into a relationship with a newborn on the way made me angry too we are teenagers relationships are distractions with us they consume you, i thought it selfish. What girl doesn't want to be took out on dates bought cute gifts and I knew I would be pissed if he spent a dime on this girl with our son here. He had plans to go to the army ( which went away suddenly after he and this girl got together.)and got a job at Wal-Mart which he lost and then enrolled in college. He is a good provider my son has everything he needs but what's bugging me is the fact that I told him I don't want my son around this girl and he is not respecting it. If this girl has no respect for me I don't think she has a right to see my son plus we are only teenagers I don't see their relationship lasting so is it wrong for me not to see the point in my son being around her? I feel like when my son is with his father it should be a time just for them why would she be there anyways? My son is two weeks and i haven't let his father take him anywhere mainly because I'm breastfeeding and he's young but i told him once I stop breastfeeding at six months he can have his unsupervised visits. Im just worried he will have my son around this girl that I don't trust. I would be willing to let her meet my son if I truly believed they were long term but we are young. Am I being wrong in my worries? I am just not a trusting person.

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Cecile27,

      No! Hurry! Run the other way! This guy is trash. He wants you back as a part of his harem. Don't you even think about it. He's a manipulator and a con artist. Do not give him your address. Meet his azz at McDonald's or something.Do not fall back into his trap. Who lies about giving someone an STD? That's just ignorant right there. He obviously does not like to wear condoms, so is he really worth risking your life over. You're so blessed that you had a healthy baby and congrats on that by the way. But sleeping with him again could be really bad. You have no clue who he's been with. So keep your distance and let him be.

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi hsimeona,

      Girl you do not need him to sign a birth certificate. You need him to sign that child support check. Any man that turns his back on his child is a sorry sucka in my eyes. You can do bad by yourself. Keep it moving and get that check from his lying azz. Smdh!

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Ceejay,

      Here's my advice. Ignore her ignorant azz. Girl live your life with your man and your kids. Be the best mother, step mother and wife you can possibly be. Keep the drama out of your home. She does not want to see her ex happy at all. How do you keep a jealous trick jealous? Just keep doing you. Let your fiancé deal with her. Background Check? Lmao! Bye Felicia! For real.

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      hsimeona17 2 years ago

      Sorry for the typeos .

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      hsimeona17 2 years ago

      Hi tarkishat

      I just had a daughter march of this yr by a man a been seeing for over 2 yrs . Its been so crazy in this short time. He has 4 children and they are by two different mothers,his youngest child he lied and said it was his nephew cuz he did want me to know he had another kid. I got man n got over it . I been through a lot with him trying to get custody of his at the children and then wen I tell him in October I'm pregnant and keeping it . He got mad and said leave him alone and don't have it. WellI didt listen so I had her she was a preemie but healthy. He is giving me a hard time wit signing birth certificate and paying anything to help with her. I'm so done . He only will see her if I sleep with . I'm ready to leavehim alone n do it by my self.

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Anon,

      You have a real situation on your hands. I'm just guessing, but he's still married right? If so, he got his wife pregnant and you have every right to worry. Have you ever heard him actually tell his wife that he does not love her anymore. I'm just saying he could tell you anything. If he is still living with her, then they are a family and he's not going anywhere. You can sit there and wait it out, if you really trust him. I say hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

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      Cecile27 2 years ago

      Hey Tarkishat, brace yourself for the drama I'm about to expose some of which has been cut short here goes..... I met my almost 2 yr old son's father in 2010 when I was 21 literally on the day my ex of 5 years dumped me for a girl I once called my friend so as you can imagine I was extremely heart broken, anyway I left my home that evening refusing to be depressed at home to only be stopped by this great looking guy it felt like he was heaven sent at the time, we exchanged numbers etc and started meeting up texting soon after I realised a pattern that he was just after 1 thing he was my 1st f buddy so it took a while for me to clock on also as I wasn't looking for anything serious either due to my heartbreak. So time went on before I knew it its been 2 years this has been happening for so I came to the conclusion in December 2012 that I was going to end this sexual relationship we had to only find out that I was pregnant..... This is when the real drama started, on the day I found out I was pregnant we were meeting up anyway so I broke the news to him and he was so comforting said it would be ok and I was so shocked at that response, the next day he asked me "what I was going to do"? I knew within myself from the minute I found out that I was going to keep my baby with or without him, so I told him and that's when he started the malicious communication, he had suddenly revealed that he wasn't single that he had a girlfriend he was "practically married" that he had 3 other kids and that I didn't know him what made me feel so special to be the 4th baby mother?, that he had an sti and that he gave it to me which was a lie because i got my self tested and all was clear. My world started crushing down on me baring in mind I was pregnant. So from there onwards it was horrific he was trying with every inch of himself to get me to have a termination at times I was considering it just so I wouldn't have to deal with drama and such a nasty person but I had to remind myself that I am strong enough to not make the weaker decision. Time went pregnancies growing on I remained positive despite  everything he was saying to me so I finally asked him if he was going to tell this girlfriend of his about the baby and his response was "no she would kill herself because of everything he has put her through in the past 5years" no comment to that, so I said ok but don't you think the truth will come out at some point? In addition to everything he still wanted to sleep with me during all of this is happening, anyway one day a few weeks before I gave birth I went to his house to find the girlfriend there she opened the door and I asked if he was in she said no so I then introduced myself and told her the truth about everything as I felt it was only right, he later found out that night that I had spoken to the girlfriend and asked me why I had done it, I felt that she had the right to know and then could do what she wanted with the news after, I shouldn't have been the bearer of the news but I didn't like to be treated like a dirty little secret as he had lied about who he really was all that time and he was still trying to sleep with me. So they broke up He hated me after this point he was provoking me asking me to go to his house to meet him to talk when he wasn't there and I was heavily pregnant he done this on three occasions so in time I started to feel nothing but sheer bitterness towards him at how he could be so evil and nasty towards someone it was such an emotional and horrible pregnancy luckily my son was so good to me smooth pregnancy smooth short labour he was now born August 2012. I was getting harassed for dna test which I refused to do for a while but then decided to do it otherwise I'd look like I was hiding something, results came back he tried to act like he wasn't the father so I ordered myself a copy and he was 99.99 the father he said "he wished he was dead"!. December 2012 was the last time I had seen him and he had only seen our son twice, him and his girlfriend apparently got back back together and had a baby since then. During the time of January 2013 to may 2013 I felt an urge of avengace I hated him for treating my son the way he did and turning his back on my son I was afraid of being a single mum and being judged upon everything as he made it out to all be my fault till this day he has not apologised to me for all the emotional damage he caused me I'm not holding my breathe for that. So anyway I was so angry I started emailing him about how he was a dead beat dad etc and all the insults in the world I started to message the so called girlfriend about her waste man that he would treat her the same way after he's been through 4 baby mothers, I had literally lost the plot, it got to the point when it was draining the life out of me and I realised that I was only hurting myself so I stopped  the messaging and I stopped sending pictures of our son from his 1st birthday and just started living my life like it's golden. Time went on by I was getting happier and stronger until he got back in contact may 2014 via email we briefly spoke about our son and about all the drama that happened but yet I feel like he's still trying to play games with me because I am not paying him no mind and I'm not asking him for help with anything like I'm just being independent in every way without his help.he still tries to talk down to me and treat me in a manipulative manner which I don't like, he's failing to have some sort of respect for me as the mother to his child I am biting my teeth and being civil for the sake of my son and being decent enough towards him but I feel that he has an undisclosed issue with me that he can't seem to project. I've moved into my own flat now and just happy raising my son he's been wanting my address but I'm a bit reluctant to give it out to him as I don't trust him whatsoever not that he would cause us harm but just because he may try to turn up randomly etc as he already tried to manipulate me in saying "I'm coming to see my son before bed what's your address"? . We recently Met up last week since him getting back in contact with us and I'm feeling really emotional and confused as if I still like him after all the drama which is not cool but the more I reject this feeling the worse it'll get I don't understand if this is normal or just plain stupid? My son's father seems to  always want a reaction out of me i don't know why? he hasn't mentioned his girlfriend or there daughter but once and that was it it wasn't even in a sense of where they're still together but that's none of my business anyway and I haven't asked about them either because he also never personally told me about them being back together, he's also coming across demanding and dictating things he doesn't consider my schedule or the fact that I have a life too he expects me to say how high when he says jump.. i don't want to be that bitter babymother the one that gets called a B**ch I've made my mistakes and have surely learnt from it. I sincerely apologised to him for the crazy behaviour and he said he would pass it on all I want is peace and a non complex friendship/communication with my son's father  I feel like I need some serious advice with this one I don't wanna go back down that unhappy route again. SOS!!!!

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      Ceejay 2 years ago

      My situation goes like this. I've been with my fiancée for a year now. He has a 3 year old son and I also have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship.

      When my boyfriend and I first met he told me the story about him and his baby mama and how it all ended. They went out one time she got pregnant they stay together. After she had the baby she you would go out drinking all the time and basically decided not to be a mom. My fiancé raise his son for the first two years of his life alone. When him and I first started dating she found out about us because he told her and that's when she decided that she wanted to come back to her sons life and be a mom. I of course being a mother myself wanted her to know who was spending time with her son so I introduced myself, it didn't go as planned, it sounded to me like she appreciated the fact that I did that but towards the end of our conversation she made a comment about me being careful not to hurt my fiancé or she would come after me; she said that it was a joke. Anyway I didn't speak to her after that All communication was strictly between my fiancé and her I never spoke to her after that. Maybe a few months later I had realized that she was stalking my Instagram and texting my fiancé and starting a fight with him about something that I had posted. I decided to block her from all my social media and that started at even bigger fight because she said that she had the right to follow anybody that was posting pictures about her son. Now this whole time she's also in her own relationship with a 30-year-old man who also has four kids. Recently my fiancé filed a protective order against her boyfriend because she had said that her boyfriend was hitting her in front of my fiancé son. (Her boyfriend has a criminal record) we both felt like that was not a good environment for my fiancé son to be in When they went to court she sat on the stand and said that she had exaggerated the whole thing and it was not true. My fiancé ended up losing the case because the judge ruled it is hearsay. This week my fiancé finally moved into my apartment. Being that I have a son of my own and knowing that my fiancé has a son of his own I decided to fix up my sons room so that I can fit both boys in there. Now my apartment is a loving home for the four of us. The drama starts again, since my fiancé now informed his baby mama that he lives with me she is now demanding that she'd have my background check. She says that she needs to have it because she wants to make sure that I'm a good enough person to be around her son and that it's only fair that she have it because her boyfriend's information was given to the courts when they went for their protective order case. I told my fiancé to tell her now she's not getting it because she has no legal grounds to obtain now is just never ending because she just won't let it go she won't stop harassing us. I am starting to lose my patience with this woman I don't know what to do please advise me.

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      Anon 2 years ago

      Hi tarkishat!

      I have a question, my boyfriend has been together for over a year off and on. Right now it is very serious and he has filed for divorce from his wife. During the process she went to see him while he was highly intoxicated and he got her pregnant (I was at a different state) long story short, she is about to give birth within the month. This entire time she has been sayin she misses him and loves him even before he got her pregnant and he keeps telling her that he isn't in love with her anymore. Ever since I came in the picture, she refused to get a divorce, but before that she was willing to sign. I'm afraid he'll leave me and stay with her for the sake of the child. He was scared about divorce before because of his religion but he wasn't happy. I'm afraid she will continue to pursue him and keep his money as a leash around him. I'm asking is should I not even worry. We've talked pretty much everyday and cried numerous times. He's claimed he's trying his best to win back my trust and to prove himself to me. I'm slowly trying to trust him again but I'm afraid of losing him. Should I not even worry about this? Should I just trust him and let it all work out? Thank you, I hope to hear from you soon. I'm glad I'm able to find your site. :)

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Sierra, I'm glad you found this site too. Lol! Okay, so until your boyfriend puts his foot down with Baby Mama, this situation is only going to get worst. I hope he gets a DNA test done if Cuz could be the father. He needs to get that taken care of as soon as possible. As far as the Facebook mess, let her talk. You have something she wants is all.

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      sierra 2 years ago

      Im so glad i found this site. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months when we got together i knew he had a possible child on the way. When he spoke upon having a possible child he said his cousin could be the childs father as well as he could. So his son was born the other day and things have started to change. The baby mama constantly calling wanting to know his where abouts and so on. But the baby mama cant stand me we had words or what not but i've tried to put the issues aside and be a woman about the situation but everytime i turn around her and her cousins talking about my boyfriend and i on facebook. Im fed up at this point and to young to be stressed so what should i do?

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Fanny, I do not see a comment from you, maybe you used another name. If so let me know and I'll respond back as soon as possible. Sorry for the wait.

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      fanny 2 years ago

      Hi I'm waiting for ur advise

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      Aunnie1985 2 years ago

      Me and kids father was together for four years, until I found out that he had another baby which he denied and also denied ours as well. Not only that he had his mother deny them to. I've talked to his other baby momma she not only told me everything that I was suspecting about him she still talking and sleeping with her ex as well. But he had to change his number, stop the calls, texts and giving our children support. He isn't man enough to call to apologize for this happening or have the balls to come around. Like I told his other baby momma she can have that headache back again, go through his phone etc. I just wanna know why deny them now because he's back with her. We got played but who is the dummy now....

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      Heartbroken 2 years ago

      Me n my ex bf were together for 6 months we got together like a month before his baby mama had her baby after she had her baby all hell broke loose . She made it so if he wasn't with her he couldn't see his child so we broke up all because if her . Eventually we tried again because we thought it would work out cause he finally stood up n told her that they were through . So my ex baby mama lives 2 hours away she had come down here for summer n we broke up again because of her , he still calls & texts me telling me he loves me n misses me but he is with her . Now they are together n the other night he called me he hasn't talked to me in almost a month cause when he is in a relationship with her he can have no communication with his "exes" so we haven't talked but he recently called me ,I guess they got into a fight n broke up , so we have been talking for almost a week n then one day he completely stops talking to me again I do not hit him up or anything . I found out that they got back together , I'm just confused of what to think I am in love with this guy I just don't know what to do anymore . Should I just give up an move on ? Or keep waiting around ?

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      Ann 2 years ago

      I am with my boyfriend for 14 years. We split up for a while last year at which time he had a fling with a girl 30 years younger than him! When we got back together, he learned that she got pregnant and after a lot of fighting we realized that we love each other too much to stay apart, and chose to work through it. The problem was that he let the mother live in his house through the pregnancy so that he wouldn't lose his child if she took her out of the country. I agreed with that. The mother knows that he has a girlfriend now, and he never has sex with her after he got her pregnant. The age difference is just too great, and he feels like a total idiot for letting it happen in the first place.

      My problem is that I get jealous of her with him, right now while she is still in his home. He is perfectly attentive to me, we have sex regularly and I now he loves me. I just need help with patience while he finds her a place of her own for her and the baby, and he moves in with me. I don't want to drive him away, but I do get jealous and insecure.

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      Broken 2 years ago

      I apologize for all the typos I have a phone that's not too great . I meant he is 47 years old

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      Broken 2 years ago

      hello everyone I just need some advice my daughters father and I have been dating for 2 years we moved pretty fa hi baby is 1 years old he keeps dwelling on the fact how fast we moved I told him he should get past that during this time we have been through so much with him lying and dealing with other femaless, saying he wanted a relationship but in all actuality he did not this finally came out after our baby was born. he's a type of man when you are pregnant by him he feels as though that's a turnoff I thought that this will go away once the baby was born but his feelings are pretty much still the same he told me in a recent conversation that his feelings aren't the same as mine he wants to be co parents and have a partnership in this time he still constantly wants to do family things,take s me out weekly. we show our sexual but most of the time I have to make the moon he likes my aggression but I am sick and tired of it all it's like we're playing house for everyone else but when it comes to him and I we aren't together but everybody elses eyes we are. I love this man but not enough to continually be treated less than what I deserve. everytime I have these conversations with him he gets better and things kinda goes right back to the same. I forgot to mention his mother plays a big role in all of this all the way from south. I don't know if age makes a difference but she is 47 years old never been married never had a serious relationship and I am the first woman to demand things with him. am I wrong?

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Dellla, if he's falling into her mind games and worrying about her family then who is he planning on marrying, you or her? I mean what is that? Soul mate or not there are some things y'all need to get squared away before anybody walks down that aisle. You really don't want to take that crazy mess into a marriage. You two really need to sit down and talk. I mean really talk, and ask him if this, (meaning you and him in a marriage) is what he really wants or is he just going along with it to make you happy. Both of y'all need to be happy with this decision. Best of luck to you.

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      Dellla 2 years ago

      What if his baby mama texts his phone every once in a while with her feelings saying it should be her dating him and carrying his second child.? I'm a little confused because he seem to fall into her mind games and tend to push me away. What should I do I need some good advice. We had a wedding date set but with him worrying about what her and her family will think he pushed it wayyyyyy back, I mean don't get me wrong I love this man with everything I know that he is my soulmate but i'm confused on what I should do in situations like this.

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      tarkishat 2 years ago

      Hi Terry, looks to me like you have a serious situation on your hands. You told him how you feel about his Baby Mama calling at all hours of the night, (by the way that is not normal) and he doesn't see it as a problem? Now it's all up to you. Either you deal with it or you tell him and his Baby Mama to kick rocks. By the way it's kind of hard to make fake messages up if she's showing them to you and they have his phone number attached. If she is going through all that trouble to get him in trouble with you and he doesn't have a problem with that then there relationship is more than about his daughter. Keep your head up and make the decision that's right for you and yours.

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      Terry 2 years ago

      I've been with my now soon do be sons father for 2 years now I know his daughter and she absolutely loves me but baby mamma hates me always calls him at 3am n he says it's about there "daughter" she calls n texts me saying she's still seeing him n sends me screen shots of dirty messages they send to each other he claims there fake messages she is the type to make fake messages judging by the fact she's done it with me saying I text her ....she calls n texts him all the time for any little reason about there daughter I find it to be an excuse to get his attention but in his eyes that's ok if it's about his daughter then it's Fine he always says im being ridiculous n just don't like her he doesn't like me answering her calls or going thru his phone cause he says I'm just looking for something i don't know wHat to do at the point

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      christy 2 years ago

      ive been dealing with this guy since march of this year. he has a bm tht he says hes not with. hes been with me everyday since march. he just went to jail nd alot of shit is coming out the blue. he want his babymama to be there for him sges willing to put everything up for him to get out of jail. I told him tht im losing myself by being with him nd he says he csnt just be my friend. what do he want me to do sit in the visiting room wit her

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      Tiffani 2 years ago

      I recently had a baby by someone I was messing with for 2yrs. I found out he had another girl pregnant the same time as me and our kids are 5 months apart. He currently lives with her but she doesn't know about me. He comes and visits his son but I still don't feel it's enough. It's like he keeps me and his son a secret(I'm the last bm) and he came and saw me still flirts and we end up having sex. How do I go about the situation going forward? I dislike him but still am attracted to him but I know he probably won't stop messing with her either even though he has told me he doesn't love her.

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      keri 2 years ago

      I've been dealing with my boyfriend for 11 months now, I'm 6 months pregnant (I know kinda early) and we are engaged. He has a bm in which he was dating for 8 years and together they conceived two kids ages 2 and 3. She's best friends with all his sisters and mother in which the sisters don't care for me they engage in small talk on Facebook statuses about me knowing I'm pregnant with his child and just adding to the pregnancy stress. They have once to ask about my child or its well being... recently I tried to contact his bm to get on common grounds because overall our kids are gonna be siblings so to form at least a cordial foundation for the kids only so each party can be civil towards each other for the kids sake... well I ask him to ask her if it would be okay for me to get her number since she blocked me on facebook and instead of her replying with yes or no she goes to write a Facebook status about me... of course long and behold his sisters jump to the rescue speaking nonsense. No to mention the reason for them not liking me is all due to "loyalty" they feel as though it would be "two faced" of they were friends with the bm and myself so they chose to be friends with her In which honestly I couldn't give two f*cks about but the fact that they don't want pretty much in my eyes anything to do with my son is beyond me. For "Father's Day" she made a photo collage with a family portrait as well as other pictures of the kids and him and posted it to his Facebook in which he found nothing disrespectful about that... I just need help figuring out if I need to run or just withstand the storm. I recently kicked him out because he to me was just all around disrespectful in addition to the bs I have to put up with his bm and sisters just all around stress...any help..?

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      stressed 3 years ago

      I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years living with him for 4 and just 2 weeks ago found out he had an affair and had a child with another woman the little girl will be 3 in august but she texts me talking about he is a loser and I need to leave him then she texts me again saying stay with him he loves you and then goes and tell my man I won't stop texting her I honestly don't want anything to do with her or him but I love him and want to work things out but she is crazy and still has very hard feelings for him she said they dated for a year he said he was drunk it was one night I don't know what to belive

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      Jade 3 years ago

      Another author on this site said something that is sooo KEY...be sure that you are fully informed of the situation...My children's father and I had been off & on for years before I even found out that he was dating someone else..She knew about me but I knew nothing of her & Im sure she would post on a subject like such but things were never as they seemed...He was playing both sides of the fence & decieving her & I just to keep us both around. Im sure she may have heard us argue a time or 2 or read an angry text message both what couple doesn't go through that? But we were co-parenting in a relationship...my point is just that things aren't always what they seem. Like that author said "people don't act crazy for no reason". He was just a dog lol

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      Kim15 3 years ago

      Hi..I've been dating my boyfriend for about 10 months. I'm worried because I believe he still love and mess around with his bm... They've been together for 14yrs and separated for about 5 years and have 4 children together... I wasn't insecure until he lied about her hanging out at his place regularly with the kids because the kids live with him and she is very much involved with family gatherings and events together... that he never include me in, how can our relationship grow if bm is so much involved, he says he loves me and eventually get married, but it seems impossible when their relationship is so close...

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      carly83 3 years ago

      Me & my baby dad have been together for 2 years now we live together also he has one child from someone else before we knew each other my problem is his BM want let him get his child at all because he is wit me even though he take very good care of his child his BM lives with her grandma & dats da only way he can see his child he have 2 go 2 her gma house & her son birthday is coming up she told him he can't bring my baby 2 the party (his brother)& I'm 2 da point I'm ready 2 check her because I jux dnt like how she keep doing him about that baby & I have always been nice to her & she still dnt want the baby around me & my BD is a good man 2 me he made sure she knew all about me & how much he cared for me it jux bother me sometime because I feel like he could do something about how she treat him when it comes to that baby he jux always say God gone handle her but I think he need to put his foot down!!!!!

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      Mrs. Waters 3 years ago

      I've been datn this guy for three months now. He has four grown children & one child in elementary. The youngest child's mother always call & txt him late @ night, but he never answers the damn phone. He explained to me that he haven't been intimate with her in six yrs., but why would she be calling him @ 2:00 a.m.?? I have met his mother, brother, two of the other children, and many of his friends. I really wanna be with this man & he say he love me, but I can't deal with her mess. She don't have a man so I don't know what to do........

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      mrs.jackson 3 years ago

      So I've been married to my husband for almost 2 years. We're both dual military and met in Korea. All before we got married his baby mother would allow him to talk and skype with the baby. Once we got married she took his rights away. I've been NOTHING but nice to this girl. I even invited her to come and visit so she could get a feel for me. (Being in the military its not that easy to get up and go on vacation so i was going to allow them to come here) I didn't want to but i was just trying to make my husband happy (I've seen my husband cry twice in 2 years and once on the account of him missing out on his daughter's life) At one point they were getting along and she started calling him anytime of the night and started saying she loved him. I addressed the issue with him and he QUICKLY fixed it. She then made him choose between me or the baby. Like what in the world? He just stop communicating with her. Her grandmother would send pics to his email of his baby. His baby mother is crazy!!!!! And even one time i went to visit his hometown and she REFUSED to let him see the baby because of me. But now he is visiting before deployment (i couldn't go because i just had surgery but I'll go later this year) and she is going to see him EVERYDAY. lol. I'm not the least bit worried about him cheating. But will this EVER end? I was thinking once she moves on and finally considers my husband a lost. She just keeps trying to break us up.

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      Shiri 3 years ago

      I met my baby daddy when I was in the process of a divorce with my ex husband. This is the crazy part even though I was in a relationship with my bd I was still living with my ex. We were not sexually active we have three children together and I own the house that we lived in. To avoid going through a nastier divorce I decided to be nice to my ex by letting him stay with me even though I didn't want to be with him. We didn't sleep in the same bed or nothing my home is like a flat so he stayed down and I stayed up. In the beginning when I met my bd it was all good we seen each other everyday even though I always had to come to him because he couldn't come to my home. We were in love and when I got pregnant he was so excited and hoping for a boy. Idk wat happened he was around until I was about 5 months but one day he just started to have doubts even though he knew what we were doing to make that baby but I understood because I was still staying with another man smh. We remained in contact though he would call or tex here and there to see if I had the baby yet it's confusing to me because the day I was in labor I talked to him on the phone and the pain wasn't that intense but I could tell I was in labor later that day I sent him a text message telling him it was time. So he arrived at the hospital before I did and stayed the whole night until the baby came out because he wasn't ready to come, the next day our son came and he cut the umbilical cord. He was the first to hold him and he made it seem as though he felt he was his. By the way my ex husband is Puerto rican and my bd is black. So you see I knew who my kids father was cause I was not sleeping with the both of them. It would have been really messy if I didn't know who the father was then I would have told my bd it was a possibility but there wasn't. After I has him he was there until my son turned 2 months and now he went back to a few calls and texts here n there he even gave me his mom's # because he says he can't watch our son he has to make money and he's in the streets". My ? Is why would he go through all that to find out his son is his to not really be involved like that my son is now 4 months and he needs to know his father even if he see's no future with me and him anymore. I'm still single but I don't know about him if he's hiding a relationship or what when we do talk he tells me he's not. I offered at the time of pregnancy during and after and still to this day if he's unsure for a DNA he acts as though we don't need it but Im willing to pay for it or watever the process may be to prove to him so he can be more involved. This bothers me badly cause I still love and want to be with him one day but how will I ever get over all this dramatized confusion.. ~Tarkishat please help lol

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi gabs! Girl leave that problem where it is, not on your front porch. I'm sure you have enough problems of your own, and being worried up about his should not even be in your thought process. He's looking for an escape while things are rough right now. Tell him to go to tripadvisor.com, because you don't offer escape packages. Follow your first mind, a woman's intuition is everything. 9 times out of 10 he will do exactly what you're thinking he will do.

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      gabs 3 years ago

      I was talking to this guy on and off for 3 years recently he told me he was going to have a baby it was a mistake and a one night stand he told me he didn't wanna be with the girl just be ther for the baby my question is or any advice now the baby is not here yet.. I feel like when the baby gets here he'll just change is mind also we live in diff states

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi Laura. Him only talking to his BM when you're around is a little extreme. It only takes you to listen in on one conversation between them for you to hear if they have something else going on besides the child. If he has never talked to her in front of you then I completely understand your frustration. My man doesn't talk to his BM when I'm always around, but he does tell me that he talked to her and what they talked about without me even asking him. It does not bother me at all, because you have to trust your man. A woman's Intuition is everything, and if it's telling you that he's being shady then chances are he is. Relax them cuffs on that man girl, if you keep them too tight he can't wait to break free.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi Tifini, it seems like you really love this guy, but please and I repeat PLEASE! Do not have a Baby with him until you know for sure that he and his BM are not still fooling around. Remember he holds all of the cards in this situation and he has to still be smashing BM, because why would he do all this sugar coating, and sneaking around with the texts and calls. You're going to have to put your foot down and let him know the boundaries of your relationship and the things that you will no longer be tolerating. Nobody knows what the boundaries are until you put them on the forefront. So get your pen and paper out and make a realistic list of the boundaries that should never be crossed and what you will and will no longer tolerate. I hope this helps.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi Nay. If you took this situation hard, then that means that you are a human being and you care. This man, oops, my bad, this little boy is a nothing azz piece of a human being, who doesn't want responsibility. After the girl went through all of the hard stuff with having the baby, it seems like he's now heading back to lay up under her until sh*t gets rough, and then he's back hopping from pillow to post again. Be happy that you didn't have to kick his azz out. Change your number and your locks, hell I would move.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi thesweet1! You should run away as fast as you can. He has 7 kids, his 7 will become your 7. He obviously likes having sex without protection, so don't just count his little girl's mother as being only one lover he's had since you. Think about the ones he didn't get pregnant. We have to be so careful nowadays, so I say follow your first mind and keep the relationship strictly about your little boy. This man is a raw dawg and you can do bad by yourself. As far as him being there for your son, you can't make him do anything and being a parent comes naturally to some and there are those who have no clue of what being a parent really is. Move on and move quickly.

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      laura 3 years ago

      I have been dating my boyfriend for 10months now. We moved in together and everything seemed to be going great. Until one of his baby mamas started texting him and calling him a lot. I don't have a problem with that because I understand they have a child together. I am a single mother my self & I understand that he needs to be a father for his children. But after I asked him to please talk to her in front of Me he told me ok, I will, I promise I won't disrespect you again. I found out last week they were talking & texting behind my back & that shattered me. Finally a few days ago he confessed that he was talking to her and did not think it was a big deal. I feel like I can't trust him anymore and I want to leave but I love him so much I don't know what to do. I am trying to understand his situation as a father. But if he won't be honest with me I won't know what to do!!

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      Tifini 3 years ago

      Ok so im i been talking to this guy my now bf for 2yrs on and off we are now official 1month in, but he has two daughters with the same mom and i feelike he loves me and we talk about marriage and lifr but he barely or prob never puts his foot down to his bm! I respect her and tried to say hi bit all i got was an attitude not too mention she did something really stupid like asking to take a fam photo including my man and me standing there watching with his fam who also thought she was being messy. Im mad because i feel like he goes in other rooms to talk to her on the low even if its about the girls, she calls for no real reason or i do know that they be texting but hes always shady with his phone, i can bet he has pics of her still in his phone..but he wants a baby with me but im torn..she has told him, "im not gonna respect your gf(me) unless she becoles your wife or something"! Hes so stupid he never says what he told her he never seems like he goes off on her he just sugar coats it all and it pisses me off..what should I do??

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      Joe 3 years ago

      My bm wrote me this today breakin up with me im hurt think its best for us to be cordial as parents .. Relationship wise its not gone work you just like the fact that aint nobody gone be fkin me .. Its like you trying to go against everything I'm saying like you not tryna accept what I want you just want somebody to agree with what you saying

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      nay 3 years ago

      I moved to a different state and left my boyfriend he got another girl pregnant and I decided I would just move on...months later ge called me and told me he was in love with me and I asked about the other girl and baby....he moved to be with me the girl ended up having the baby....I took it really hard and felt bad about the entire situation me being a mother. Of 9yr and 3 yr single mother (this guy not the dad)..I found myself crying for hours for her and the baby...well the baby was born and he wont talk to her around me or anything last week he told me he was leavin out of the blue and then told me he was just homesick...

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      thesweet1 3 years ago

      Hi Ladies, OK so I spoke to my BD..earlier today. & I don't know if it was a woman's intuition but I had asked him was my son his youngest; given the fact we just got back in contact with each other around Jan 2014. He surprisingly told me "No" he has a 1 year old Daughter who is under my son....This man has in total 7 kids. ..my son is the 6th child...He is 3 years old..I did get a Lil upset with him about that baby because he wasn't being straight up from the beginning...After we established the Lil girls existence he asked if I wanted to see a pic of his Lil cutie..I said sure...When he did she looked just like him..I complimented her N never texted again...my questioned is I can never hate on a kid...she is a blessing and a beauty...but why am I soooo.. angry..could it be because he only sees my son on fb..pics..He only met my son at 2 weeks old...After that we got into an argument over his selfishness. .After nd never spoke again until this year..could I be holding a grudge cause he doesn't have a relationship with my LO...why wouldn't he be up front about his new daughter from the get go??&... Should I just cut him loose?? He texted me back N told me not to be mad N if I still loved him.how should I handle this ..thx

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hi Nique1984, your situation is a little confusing, but I'll try to understand it. So your child's father left you for a female that can't seem to mind her own business. That's a huge problem for me, because you had a baby with him not with her, so she has no say so. Now I'm done with her because she is irrelevant. If he's doing what he's suppose to do as a father in your eyes, then I don't see where the problem is. Now your child's father not wanting his daughter around the guy that you're with is understandable if he has never met this man. It seems as though you've met his girlfriend before, if not then now's the time for everyone to become grown ups and all of you need to have a sit down and discuss the upbringing of this precious little girl. Talking things over can really help everyone to air out their feelings, concerns, boundaries and expectations of one another. Good luck on trying to get them together, but it's very important for your sanity and to bring everyone together for the sake of your daughter. I hope this helps.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Hey Parris, girl Get Out Now!!! He's a liar and a cheater. I believe in second chances, but come on now. How much can a B***h take?! Listen, here are some things that you have to deal with, if you stay with him and if he is indeed the father: Drama - because she's pissed that he questioned the child's paternity. Money - issues, because the babies need pampers, shoes and etc. Time - because he has to be there when both of his Baby Mamas call. If you have the feeling of having your own child with him and it being super special for the both of you then this guy is not the one for the job. If you feel that he can be then you had better put on a life jacket and hold on tight, because it will be a bumpy ride and your azz may just want to jump off that boat. Lol! Thanks for your comment.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Mara, I completely understand how you are feeling and you have every right to feel that way if he's not telling you everything. I'm about to tell you something very important, sshhh! (Whispering) Don't tell nobody else. 98% of men who have a Baby Mama are more than likely still giving her the 'D' just to keep her satisfied (those are my numbers and I'm sure a lot would agree, lol) To keep down the BS, get what I'm saying. Well so they think. I will be posting another Hub on the tell tell signs that your man is still sleeping with his Baby Mama. I'm about to give you my number one sign right now. If she doesn't have a husband or a live in boyfriend of her own, then chances are she doesn't need one because her Baby Daddy a.k.a. your man is still putting it down over there. Sorry for the bluntness, but when it comes to dating anyone who has children with someone else, you have to literally be prepared for anything, because there will always be some kind of feelings there for that person. So Mara it's time to put on your inspector gadget trench coat and find out the truth in order to protect your heart from getting broken. Thanks for your comment and let's hope he's part of the 2%.

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      Nique1984 3 years ago

      IM HAVING BABY DADDY DRAMA AND IM A MOTHER. MY CHILDS FATHER LEFT FOR ANOTHER WOMEN AND NOW IT SEEMS LIKE SHE TRY N START UP A LOT OF PROBLEMS. SHE DOESN'T HAVE KIDS. ONE MINUTE SHE WILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM TALKING TO ME THEN THE NEXT SHE WILL SAY THINGS LIKE HOW HE ISN'T A REAL MAN BECAUSE HES NEVER AROUND HIS KIDS AND HOW HES A BAD FATHER. SO WHEN I STEP TO THEM WITH WHAT'S GOING ON SHE THINKS IM IN THE WRONG. IM NOT THE TYPE TO START DRAMA BUT MY CHILDS FATHER IS. HE WANTS OUR DAUGHTER TO GO WITH HIM AND HIS GF BUT DON'T WANT HER AROUND THE PERSON IM WITH.

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      Parris 3 years ago

      I love this! I been with someone for some months now and he has a five year old and.... Well... a one month old (from some random cuddy buddy from last summer). Since meeting him in December, he told me about the five year old. However, two months in, he confessed that another woman is claiming him as the dad of her unborn baby. He was confident at first that it wasn't his baby because of how everything went the few times they had sex. But the baby is here now and he is being extremely slow about finding out DNA results ASAP. I'm in a sticky situation: I fell in love with a man who I thought had ONE child who could possibly have TWO by TWO different women. Not to mention NEITHER know about me. Am I wrong for wanting out? He took my choice away by telling me later about the possible second baby and I think it's because he knew that is part of a woman's determining factor in a relationship. He stole that away from me by making me fall for him first. It's so hard dealing with not being the only woman to share something special with the only man you love.

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      nicole hixx 3 years ago

      Hey I have a huge issue I've never dated a guy with kids before his child is 3 we have been together for about 4 months and lately have been talking about marriage . But before he and I got together he admitted to sleeping with her a week before we made our relationship official he didn't have a phone but one day we were relaxing and i heard a phone vibrating he pulled a phone out his pocket and it was his babys mother she asked what he was doing and he said " chillin with my partner" not his woman or his girlfriend his partner now a week later he said he was going to bring his son So I can meet him he's said this before but needless to say I still haven't met him and this time he promised now its D-day and now he says the baby mama is saying she don't know me like that I don't get it he goes to day care and meets strangers all the time I'm not even a stranger we are talking about marriage and we are about to live together So shouldn't I meet the son before all that? I mean seriouslyvwhen she had him obviously it didn't work So what is this womans problem I don't care to meet her I respect her because of him I'm not trying to take over her role as a mom I do love my man her childs father but like I said I haven't met her or the child I have an issue with him if he want to be with her then why is he waisting my time there are plenty of men who would love a good woman So if he's not it I'm not pressed but what is going on perhaps this baby mama and I newd to meet I want to know is there some going on and besides that I think that's bs he's his father So whoever he brings the child around she should trust that he wouldn't put his child in harms way I'm pretty sure when she has her son she introduces him to whom she pleases So that's is bullcrap she still wants him and she don't want him moving on and she don't want her son to like me that's understandable but if she cared So much she should've kept him when she had him So I don't care he's been single a whole year(So he says)So why is she now So interested I'm not even petty but seriously he's moving in and we are ring shopping he's giving her the ultimate duece by marrying someone else So my thing is what should I do?

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      Mara 3 years ago

      I've been with my man for 4 months now and he makes me feel so good, special, and always compliments me. He's a true gentleman and yes the relationship with his kids (3kids) started 8 yrs ago. I like him a lot but the unknown and only getting bits and pieces here and there from him knowing that she still wants him drives me crazy and that anxiety comes from it happening to me before... My ex was still dealing with his BM and I found out ..... Idk what to do cause I am TRULY falling for him but

      Can't stomach the thought of getting drug through the dirt again (sighs )

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      I'm over your situation too Monica. Lol! You all are really going to have to set up some boundaries with her. You all need to sit her down and explain to her what you will tolerate and what you won't. Respect for your relationship should be at the top of that list.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Congratulations on your baby! Hey it looks like you've already made up your mind. Only you know how much you're willing to put up with. The respect he shows Baby Mama is there because she demands it. She has him balls girl. You didn't mention if he pays child support or they have an understanding. Either way it's no excuse for him to treat you like crap. Do what's best for you and your baby. Happy trails.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      After you break his damn neck! Lol! I would hope you all can get together and raise those kids up in a healthy happy household. It may hurt like hell now but Joy comes in the morning.

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      OMG, OMG! Ms. Stephanie! That is some serious Baby Mama Drama you got going on there. Well you can be nice, but never be a nice fool. You're going out of your way to have a civil relationship with this woman. Oh, my bad. This little girl! I say that because, no woman in her right mind would act like her. Sounds to me like you're doing more for her and the child than the father is and this trick is being disrespectful to the hand that is feeding her. What you need to do is pull that hand back. Stop doing all of that, that's your boyfriend's responsibility. The child is innocent in all of this. That's True, but you didn't lay down and make him they did. This is going to be hard for you to hear. Your boyfriend is not respecting you or your relationship. If he sees all of this going on and he hasn't said anything to crazy girl. He has to be the one to sit her crazy azz down and explain to her that she has to respect you and y'all relationship. He has to put his foot down with her that's the only way she will listen. You are going to have to put your foot down as well. You have to let him know exactly how you feel about this whole situation and how if it doesn't change then you're out of there. That's too much stress for one person girl. If you need to talk more email me at tarkishat@yahoo.com.

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      Monica 3 years ago

      My baby daddy has 2other baby mamas one of them he pays child support for but never get a chance to see the child the child is 13 has a cell and can reach out he constantly reaches out to her but is always overlooked he only gets invited to certain things and it's usually told to him 3 hours before the event start the other baby mama has a 3 year old son who she half way takes care of she don't want her son around me because she would like to be his lady however the son asks to go with him every time he visits only for him to have to say not this time I welcome both kids to our home and wouldn't never mistreat them but I am at my wits end with the situation the sons mom wants all the things we can do for him but not want him around me but rather she knows it or not I am the person responsible for the children having all those things that they get on birthdays and holidays and the son mom always wants to go on family outings with him and the kid I explained to him no he can take the son alone you aren't with her and don't need to be out and about with her the daughters mother holds the child back I'm so over this situation

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      Kassondra 3 years ago

      I have been with a man who has a son named after him for over a year now. A son he had after meeting a woman while he was in the army who he had never known before. She got pregnant 6 months after being with him and they've were on and off for three years their son is now 6. His ex girlfriend is married to someone else and has twins with her husband. Since I have been with him almost consistently everyday since we re met he has always every single day called her phone to talk to his son who she took and moved 5 hours away with. I have obeyed her wishes and I have met her got called names by my boyfriend because I didn't want to meet her that specific Day but since Iam around their son I met her. I found out I am pregnant a couple months ago by my boyfriend (her sons father) and I just have never felt any respect like being with him is a job! And I can't just be with him I have to be with him and her. This is not what I want and Iam beginning to get sick of this relationship. I know I am not the mother of his son but I will be having his daughter soon and he is at all our appointments and I deal with him and his bipolar attitude when he drinks Ect and see him, cook for him, try to love him and rub his back almost everyday. But he is not respectful towards me and I don't feel loved or that Iam as important as this person (his ex baby momma) he shows me the texts she sends him talking about their son usually and let's me know about what they discuss and has put her on speaker phone Ect and everytime they talk to eachother if in text or on the phone he seems to have ten times more respect for her than he will ever have for me. I point this out to him but he just brushes my feelings off and gets angry with me so I just leave it alone. I don't deserve to be treated like garbage because he has a kid. She left him, she took his son away from him, she is Married and had children with someone else but He still Jumps when she tells him to. I will not. And when my daughter gets here in a couple months i will not be with him and his ex that wants to rule his life. He chose to be with me a start fresh and I chose yes to be with him but I do not feel like it is me and him... And it never will be. I will not be disrespected in front of our child because he has respect for his ex baby momma I will move on and I will raise my daughter in all honesty of how I have truly felt and I hope she doesn't make the same mistakes I have with men. I just don't feel like this is real between me and my child's father. I won't settle for half a man. I will start over and I will love our little miracle we made but I will not be miserable again with half a man for the rest of my life. And his ex girlfriend.

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      mookie 3 years ago

      Wat should u do if a man got u pregnant and another woman pregnant at the same time

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      Stephanie 3 years ago

      I'm so glad I found a recent site to vent to and hopefully seek advice! My boyfriend & I have been together for a little over a year now.. Everything's great except one thing and of course, that's his sons mother. I'd like to call her what she acts like "a baby momma" but I find it disrespectful so I'll swallow my pride. But anyway, he has two children. His daughters not in his life therefore I don't have a problem with that mother, but his sons mother however still wants him, loves him, is obsessed with him, uses their son against him or to get to him and makes me believe that he cheats on me with her to make me rage but yet has never shown or left any proof/evidence. I'm at my last straw with this female. She's jealous and bitter. When we got in a relationship, I knew he had kids and there would be drama but I had no intentions of dealing with this much ridiculous stuff from just one person. She intentionally will say something whether it's to me, him or mutual friend or his family and make sure I find out, she posts Facebook status' tweets on twitter even Instagram photos starting drama and saying things she'll know will get back to me and push me to the point where I text her and we get into a verbal fight. I've been back and forth with her, fighting to being okay with each other. It's annoying! I just want peace of mind and a happy relationship with my boyfriend so we can start to plan a future. I've tried my best to get along. We went and took their son to the park and talked, and she chose to because she saw me and her sons father were getting serious. I've hung out and went to events with her and my boyfriends/her sons fathers Mother. She even slept in the same room at his Mothers house while he was at college and she needed somewhere for her and their son to stay. I've offered her furniture when she got her new home, I buy $200 worth of clothes and shoes at a time for their son. When she needs diapers, wipes, oragel I get it - the father/my boyfriend don't! Because I care and have a huge heart no matter how badly she's back stabbed me and has done sneaky stuff. Then recently, she's started saying things like "why is she buying my son stuff? It's not her child, our child. I don't need her help or her stuff.." But yet she still puts it on him and I'll continue to do it because it's not just her son but my boyfriends son. Every time I rant on social networks I get in trouble by my boyfriend, his Mother, ect. I get told to act like the bigger person and knock it off but nothing ever gets said to her! I don't understand it. My boyfriends mom and her are close, and so are me and my boyfriends mom so it's a tough situation for her especially when she has her grandchild and I don't but I deserve the same respect in my opinion and someone needs to put her in her place. The sons mother will talk to my boyfriend mom any type of way, cuss at her, smack her, get smart as if she's not 20 and the moms 41. She's a child compared to my boyfriends mom. She has no respect! I would never think of hitting or cussing at her. Every time I got along with my boyfriends sons mother, my boyfriend didn't. Now every time I don't get along with her, he wants to be content and civil with her. By all means that's fine and I want them to be okay for their sons sake but why choose to be at the time that I hate her? It's shady and awkward. Recently, every time I'm at work now she'll randomly show up at his house to get money for diapers when I just bought her a pack 5 days ago. Then two days ago, I was at work again and his mother asked me "is my son home?" I said he should be, why? "Because his sons mother is texting me and needs him to watch their son" I said, well he has training at 5:30-7:30 then leaves for practice @ 8 and it was 4:30 when I told her this. 10 minutes later the sons mom shows up, just walks right into the house and throws the diaper bag down and tells their son go to daddy and walks out. He said "where are you going because I'm busy today" she says "it doesn't f*cking matter I need you to watch him" and he said, "well you know my schedule, it's nothing new. I can't take him now." She leaves then 10 minutes later in 20 degree weather she walks up to his house and tries to drop him off again. He didn't end up going to practice, instead she's sitting there while he's playing with his son. From my understanding, if you had something to do so bad why are you sitting in the house that I live in for no reason? That day, she actually said to my boyfriend.. "I have something to tell you but I don't know if I should, I don't want to start drama" then continues, "your girlfriend cheated on you and still is, my friend knows everything. Ask her" Mind you, this is a jealous and bitter baby's mother telling you so why would you believe it? Plus, I live with him. If I'm not home, I'm working or out with his mother. It's gotten to the point where it's overwhelming and I'm down to tears as if I'm doing something wrong when I've done nothing. I accepted her and their child. I've never tried to play "mommy" to their son, I've never stepped out of place. I've proven myself a good person with good intentions and no harm to anyone, we've been together over a year now and I just want to be at peace with myself because it's clear after the times I've tried she'll never grow up and be at peace with me. Please, help. Any advice could benefit me, any input. I just can't talk to anyone anymore, they just listen to share my business and not help. Thank you!

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      Nicolle 3 years ago

      I wa seeing this guy who's got a 2 year old son and he slept with the baby mum and dropped me, when she told him it was a mistake she don't want him he came back to me, I forgave him an well we got together few 2months down the line I found out I was pregnant an he told her he said he slipped up in front of her & her new baby dad! I ignored it and now I'm 6months pregnant with his child & I just found out a month ago that for the first few weeks of us getting together he was thinking about her! I don't know what to do he tells me he doesn't love her and would never go back to her but I find it so hard to believe him I know he loves me but I can't help but feel he loves her more.

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      nicole 3 years ago

      My man left and moved with his babymomma for the help of his child he left in november of last year i haven't seen him since new years eve and we haven't spent time together since my birthday which was dec 26 what do i need to do bout this situation

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      NeNe 3 years ago

      well Harris how they be seperated and if he seem sincere about not going back to his baby momma sticck around and don't worry just make the best of y'all relationship to be sure he don't think about going back, so what he got a baby on the way long as she didn't get pregnant while y'all was dealing, I went through the same situation but I left because I was scared he was going to go back to her when the baby come because that's there 2nd child even though he had little four about both because she was back and forth with her 1st baby daddy so she got 3 kids but anyway I should of stuck around because I known him so long, way b4 she did and o know he's a good strong man but Harris stick around and see where u stand and don't bite your tongue let him know how u feel about and see what he say and take his word I wish u the best!!!

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      Harris 3 years ago

      so my babydaddy also my man is haven another baby with his first babymama so this would make baby number three for them what should i do???

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      mayae2013 3 years ago

      I am currently dating a man who has just had a newborn baby. I entered his life when she was 7 months pregnant and we are currently living together. i searched for advice because this is my first time dealing with this and I definetly swore off dating anyone with kids but he makes me happy. This is a challenge I wont lie. His B.Mother has been texting him asking him to come around to see his daughter but yet they hated him and wouldn't even invite him to the babyshower!!!! Now that she had the baby the B.mama is changing . I think she wants him back but he doesn't see it and swears they are over and yah yah yah..... I am starting to feel upset because I almost see her trying to wing her way back in with "the Baby" and I have been keeping things to myself but really I'm starting to feel like giving up :*(. He doesn't do anything behind my back its his B.Mama that i'm worried about ...her secret motives....I don't know if you'll respond@tarkishat. But I want to thank you for this post it made me feel a little better. Thanks Mayae

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      tarkishat 3 years ago

      Leah, why would you want to get to know a woman whom wants nothing to do with you. If y'all did meet, do you think that she would give you a hug and a kiss, or a blow to your face with her fist. Come on now, your relationship is not with her, it's with your husband. She is not obligated to a meet and greet with you. If she is constantly cursing him out and he is a grown man and he is taking it, then it is not your place to call her and tell her not to curse him out. Number 1: He is not giving her ample support for the children that he has helped her create. She's angry about that. Number2: He has moved on and has a very understanding wife that supports him in everything. She's extremely angry about that, and so what! That is none of your business. She does not like you, oh well. You have your life and she has hers. Worry about your husband, your kids (if you have any yourself), and if his kids like you. That's what's important. I'm going to give you some very important advice. You have a relationship with your husband and she has a relationship with your husband. Separate relationships, keep them that way. Do not force yourself on anybody. Keywords: He's your husband. Congrats! Now pop them bottles girl.

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      leah 3 years ago

      I let my husbands baby moma get to me this ,time i usually hear her belittling him over the phone four 3 yrs. iv'e stayed out of it today she struck a nerve and i texed her and told her to make that her last time call cusing and fusing at him ,when me and my husband first started dating once we got serious she did not want to meet me nor while we were engaged or married he tried to enterduce us to one another but she just blew me off quickly she tells their twin daughters that their father doesn't care about them and she has never like me even before she sort of meet me I just could stand anymore the way she had been talking to my husband he's been without a job and she's mad because no child support but he side off the family still try and provide while h'e out of work.I wish we could be cordial with one another its going on 4 yrs. but she has never wanted that considering she never wanted to know and learn of me .

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      tarkishat 4 years ago

      Jai he's hiding a whole lot from you. Girl he probably married. Do your homework on him and watch your back cause these men are nothing nice when it comes to keeping a whole other life hidden. You are not wrong to be suspicious of his behavior. As far as baby mama asking what he ate, girl only a wife or a significant other cares about what they man ate for lunch. Him not wanting to go out with you away from work is a tell tell sign that he is either living with a woman or married. Boom! Now go get his azz! Lol!

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      tarkishat 4 years ago

      Y'all have been together for a year and you have not met his kids at all. Well my question to you is, why not? Does he even see his kids? To answer your question about how to deal with two baby mamas, it's simple. You don't have to deal with them, your man has to. You and him can discuss his relationship with the mothers and you can give him your opinion on how to deal with them, but honey leave that mess to him. He made babies with them, you didn't. Try to stay out of that as much as you can cause you will sleep better at night. Now you didn't give me much info on your relationship with the two baby mamas so if you would like you can tell me more and I can give you a better answer on how to handle this situation. I apologize for taking so long to respond back. My son is just about to be a year old and honey he keeps me on lockdown. Lol! I will be posting more hubs on this subject matter and other helpful stuff too. Thanks for commenting.

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      Jai 4 years ago

      So I've been knowing this guy for about 5month now and we havnt been on a date or his house and barely talk on the phone outside of work soo I let it out and tell him how I feel about that and he always giving excuses he got a son or his parents sick which is true but that's no excuse for meeting outside of work he claims he really like me and want to chill sometimes but it hasn't happen yet and to top it off I honestly think him n his babymother are touching bases whenever we are at work on break she calls and the convo barely has anything to do with his child he has to ask what their son doing n she blabbers asking him what did he eat like that's any of her damn business so after hanging up I gave him my aspect of a baby mama situation which is if it has nothing to do with the child in any form its taking it too far. So he say he ont hate his baby mama so he's not going to be like what "b" he want themto be on good terms which I agree with and he also states he doesn't want his son growing up knowing that their not together okay but that's a pill that'll have to b swallowed since y'all aren't together you are in his life but you n her situation a whole other story's mean they do get along but that's a little bit too close.

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      kylie 4 years ago

      what if this man has two baby mamas and we have been together for one year, i still have not met his kids? how to deal with TWO?

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      Miami 7 years ago

      wat if dat man baby mama's r send'n him 2 jail n they still come n his face laugh'n like aint nuthin happen n always disrespect'n me but i alway's check they ass even 1 of the baby mama's sister 's i myself feel like 1 they gonna b laugh'n 1 nite drink'n wit him n the constables r goin 2 pull up n ask 4 him n they gon say there he am i wrong 4 sayn dat 2 him

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      benny Faye Douglass 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you for a great Gota baby by him hub, enjoyed it. thank for sharing it. creativeone59

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