Traits, Characteristics, and Behavior of Lazy and Selfish Husbands
Would you describe your husband as selfish? What exactly makes your husband selfish? Is it his refusal to help you with household chores, his lazy behavior, or a mix of things that you can't put a finger on?
This article describes some typical characteristics of a selfish husband. You may be able to relate to some points, and if you can, sit down with your hubby, quiz him, make him read this, and have a discussion about it.
1) He never helps with household chores.
Do you find yourself doing the dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning up after meals, and doing every other task under the roof of your house, while your husband reclines back on the sofa to watch TV or play video games?
If you are nodding yes, your life partner could be pushing the boundaries of being a selfish husband by turning a blind eye to helping you with household chores. Don't let this spiral out of control. Things will never change unless you make it happen.
2) Your husband expects sex even when you are not in the mood.
What happens if you ignore your husband's advances in bed when you are not in the mood for sex? Will he try to turn you on, get cranky and annoyed, or does he back off?
Whether you are tired, annoyed, angry, sad, depressed, or simply not in the mood for sex, your husband should unselfishly give you your own space. Expecting you to feel sexy just because he does may be pushing the boundaries of selfishness in your marriage.
3) Your husband leaves a mess everywhere and expects you to clean up.
Does your husband dump his clothes on the bed and expect you to sort the ones that can go back in the closet and the ones that go straight to the laundry? Does he lounge in the living room and just leave his dishes and bottles for you to put away?
If your husband is the sole bread-winner, then it is acceptable for him to expect some pampering after a long day's work. But if you are running after him to clean up his mess in every corner of the house, then his selfishness may be reaching unacceptable heights.
4) Your husband's career always gets priority over yours
If you work, have a career goal, and ambitions, your husband should support your career. A focused, 21stcentury woman might be better at multitasking than many men and be better at juggling the responsibilities of a family and a job.
If your husband has no regard for your career and says things like, "Honey you don't need to work. I will provide for the family," or "You won't be making much money, so it is not worth it for you to work," remind him that being a selfish husband will only have a negative effect on your marriage.
5) Your husband is lazy all the time.
It is good to be laid back, but there is a fine line between being laid back and being lazy. Life is a tough race, and a loving partner supports the other person by helping with daily chores.
Just like you are expected to be a good wife and help your hubby with his daily routine, he too should be a good husband and help you with yours. If you hear things like "I'll do it later," "Not now," "Can't you see I'm relaxing?" or "Please stop nagging me!" every time you ask him to get up and help, be blunt and ask him to stop being lazy.
6) Your outings are always where your husband wants to go.
Suppose you and your husband were to go out for dinner or plan a weekend trip, would it be at a place of your choice, his choice, or somewhere the both of you want to go to? Ideally you would narrow down to a place that seems to appeal to both of you.
You should not have to go with your dear hubby to his favorite places without ever having a say in your date destination.
7) All the purchases in your family are your husband's choices.
From the cars you buy to the type of renovations you do in the kitchen to the stuff that you buy for the kids, does your life partner have the final word in every decision? He could be pushing the boundaries of being an overly controlling and selfish husband.
You should rightfully have an equal say in all the decisions that affect you and your family. Big purchases can only be enjoyed when both partners have played an equal role in making them.
8) Your husband asks you to cut back on spending, but he doesn't.
It is important to live on a budget, keep track of your expenses, and save for big purchases and college. It is equally important that these cuts on spending money apply to both partners in a marriage.
Your husband should not be selfish and ask you to cut back on spending money while he blows money away in the pub. And if he gives you a rebuttal like, "I am the one who earns money. I should be making the financial decisions around here," simply remind him of the cost of a full-time nanny for your children. After all, you too are contributing equally to the family.
9) Your social life revolves solely by your husband's friends.
The social life of a married couple is ideally spread out within multiple social circles, including family, work colleagues, your husband's friends, and yours. What is the quotient of your social life as a married couple? Is it well-balanced, or is your husband deciding the people you both should meet and hang out with?
Perhaps there is a reason your hubby avoids meeting some of your friends or the people you like. But if his whims and fancies are baseless, you may want to remind him of how selfish a husband he is being by denying you your social life.
10) Your husband never takes the initiative to offer help or make you feel better.
This article is about how a selfish husband can refuse to help or contribute to your married life. But selfishness stems from something much deeper and goes beyond simply agreeing to do a chore when asked.
Just as you are expected to be bubbly and cheerful as you rummage through every mundane day of life, your husband must do his bit to make you feel loved.
Whether it is something as small as bringing back your favorite cheesecake on his way home from work, putting the kids to bed, randomly kissing you and telling you he loves you, or planning a vacation, your husband should take the initiative every now and then.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.