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How to Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Unfaithful or Having an Affair
Is my girlfriend cheating on me? Is it a sign of cheating if she becomes friends with her ex-boyfriend? Is my suspicion about my girlfriend's relationship with her best friend justified? How can I find out if she is chatting with other guys online on Facebook or over text?
I think she is dating someone else; how do I confirm my suspicion? Her cell phone is always turned off; is she lying to me? Read this article to uncover the telltale signs of infidelity and look for proof before confronting your girlfriend.
Be careful—don't take just one of these signs as a confirmation that your girlfriend is seeing someone behind your back. Watch out for consistent and noticeable behavioral patterns before you start investigating. Gather proof before you confront your girlfriend with these serious accusations. Making an accusation without substantial evidence will only serve to sever the trust in your relationship, and that can be hard to recover from.
Here are 16 signs to look for if you have suspicions that your girlfriend is unfaithful. Read on to find out more, and remember—infidelity typically presents with several of these signs; if you observe just one or even a few of these signs, it doesn't necessarily mean your girlfriend is cheating. Either way, if you notice changes in your relationship or begin to feel suspicious, you probably need to sit down and have a meaningful discussion with your girlfriend.
16 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating on You
- She suddenly becomes secretive about her cell phone or puts a lock on her smartphone.
- Physical intimacy between you and your girlfriend becomes emotionless.
- Your girlfriend suddenly has a new best friend who is a guy.
- Her cell phone increasingly remains turned off or unavailable.
- Your girlfriend has suddenly become good friends with her ex-boyfriend.
- Your girlfriend has cheated on you before, and there are signs she's cheating again.
- Your girlfriend leaves the room when she takes phone calls.
- Your girlfriend suddenly starts forgetting important things about your life.
- She doesn't talk to you when she's out with her friends.
- She keeps confirming your schedule all the time.
- She constantly finds fault with you and blames you for everything.
- Your girlfriend's childhood best friend is a guy who has never had a girlfriend.
- She prefers to send you texts instead of calling you.
- Your girlfriend starts to dislike surprise visits from you.
- She stops responding to your cute posts on social media.
- Your gut feeling is that she is cheating—investigate your suspicion.
1. She suddenly becomes secretive about her cell phone or puts a lock on her smartphone.
Your girlfriend has the right to be upset if you keep going through her texts and checking her call logs every day. But there is really no reason for her to stop you from going through her cell phone one time if you are suspicious and feeling anxious.
If your girlfriend has an iPhone or any other smartphone, she will likely be using it to make phone calls, send text messages, use other messaging apps like WhatsApp, and access email. If your girlfriend is cheating on you, her cell phone will hold the key to all her deceiving ways, and it is the first thing that she will try to hide from you. Unless she is planning a surprise party for you, you should see this sort of behavior as a pretty clear indication of deceitful activity.
2. Physical intimacy between you and your girlfriend becomes emotionless.
Have you noticed that your girlfriend's body language has become completely emotionless when you get physically intimate with her, no matter how romantic a boyfriend you try to be? A lack of emotion, expression, and expression during physical intimacy speaks volumes about how a girl feels about her relationship.
Ask your girlfriend if she has something on her mind. Be direct and tell her that you have noticed a shift in her body language when you get intimate. Her answers should be enough to tell you whether there is reason to be doubtful or not.
3. Your girlfriend suddenly has a new best friend who is a guy.
Does your girlfriend suddenly have a new best friend who is a guy? There may be cause for suspicion if your girlfriend keeps referring to a guy as one of her best friends, and you have never heard his name before.
Don't become suspicious right away. Have an honest chat with your girlfriend, and ask her some of these questions:
- How long have you known him?
- Do you share everything with him?
- How much time do you spend with him?
Let your girlfriend know upfront that the motive behind your frank conversation is not to be overly possessive. Tell her gently that if she has nothing to hide, she should be willing to have an honest conversation with you to ease your concerns.
4. Her cell phone increasingly remains turned off or unavailable.
Cell phones being unavailable or turned off frequently is generally considered to be cause for suspicion. Here are some of the typical excuses that are often made when cheaters deliberately turn off their phones to avoid being caught:
- I forgot to charge my phone.
- My phone is behaving strangely; I need to get it fixed.
- I had a weak signal and couldn't hear you.
- My phone has been on this whole time; I don't know why I wasn't getting your calls.
Don't jump to conclusions at the very first instance of your girlfriend's phone being turned off. If excuses like these become more frequent than they should, there may be more to her behavior than just a broken phone.
5. Your girlfriend has suddenly become good friends with her ex-boyfriend.
Whether or not she has had a bitter breakup with her ex, there is really no reason for your girlfriend to suddenly be on talking terms with her ex-boyfriend when there had previously been no communication between them whatsoever.
If you notice that her ex has started to call her often or that she has started to mingle with him on Facebook and Twitter, be frank and upfront with her about your concerns.
Be open about how you are not too fond of how she has become good friends with her ex. And if she replies and says that you are unnecessarily jealous about her ex, ask her the following questions:
- Why the sudden revival in your connection with your ex?
- Do you have any feelings for him?
- Would you be comfortable if I suddenly became good friends with my ex-girlfriend?
6. Your girlfriend has cheated on you before, and there are signs she's cheating again.
Has your girlfriend cheated on you before? Have you already forgiven her once? In such a situation, if your gut feeling is telling you that your girlfriend is cheating again, you might be right.
You have already been through the emotional trauma of being betrayed, and your trust doesn't deserve to be broken again. Try to find more proof by secretly watching your girlfriend's moves. Confront her with the evidence, and let her know that she has broken your heart all over again.
7. Your girlfriend leaves the room when she takes phone calls.
Your girlfriend might be cheating on you if she always excuses herself and sneaks out to take phone calls when she is with you. Under normal circumstances, she has no reason to leave the room to take a call when she is with you.
Watch out for this typical sign of cheating, and if your gut tells you that something is wrong, try to listen in on her conversation before you confront her.
8. Your girlfriend suddenly starts forgetting important things about your life.
The fact that your girlfriend has suddenly begun to forget important things about your life can be a sign that she just doesn't care about you anymore. Look for tell-tale signs, including forgetting your birthday, relationship anniversary, an important event in your life, etc.
Forgetting a single important date by itself is not alarming. But if this happens regularly, she may have just lost interest in you because her mind is elsewhere. For example:
- She forgot to wish you good luck with an important exam.
- Then she forgot to wish you a happy birthday.
- After that, she forgot all about your latest job interview.
- Then she forgot your relationship anniversary, which she always remembers.
9. She doesn't talk to you when she's out with her friends.
What happens when you call your girlfriend when she's out with her friends? Does she spare a few minutes to have a conversation with you, or does she hastily end the call on the pretext of doing something important?
It's understandable if she does this a couple of times, but if this becomes a habit, you should ask her why she is always in a hurry to end the call when she is with her friends. The lack of any definitive answer could be taken as a sign of cheating.
10. She keeps confirming your schedule all the time.
Couples are often apprised of each other's whereabouts, whether it's because they're texting all day or they just know each other's schedules out of habit. But if your girlfriend is taking this habit to a whole new level, she could either be a bit too possessive over you, or she wants to know exactly where you will be all the time because she's keeping secrets from you.
Knowing your schedule and constantly being aware of your whereabouts may be her way of making sure that she doesn't bump into you when she heads out with the guy she is dating behind your back.
11. She constantly finds fault with you and blames you for everything.
There is a fine line between genuine unhappiness in a relationship and a manipulative effort to bring the relationship to a crumbling end. You will have to keep an eye out for some of these tell-tale signs of deliberate and manipulative behavior.
- Does your girlfriend constantly find fault with you, even when you have done nothing wrong?
- Does she keep telling you how unhappy she is in the relationship?
- Does her mood take a dramatic swing from happy to surly when she sees you?
Such behavior may be your girlfriend's attempt to make you feel that your relationship is hitting a dead end. She may want you to break up with her because she doesn't want to dump you herself.
12. Your girlfriend's childhood best friend is a guy who has never had a girlfriend.
Everyone has a best friend, who can be a guy or a girl. But if your girlfriend is the best of mushy-mushy pals with a guy who has never had a girlfriend, there could be more to their friendship than meets the eye. Below are some of the possibilities in this situation.
- They are genuinely best friends and nothing more.
- He has always had a crush on her, but he is stuck in the friend zone.
- They had a fling in the past, but they are friends right now.
- They are friends with benefits.
- Their relationship was a genuine friendship, but your girlfriend has now fallen in love with her best friend.
You must assess this situation and connect the dots with other signs of cheating that you may have observed before you start making accusations.
13. She prefers to send you texts instead of calling you.
It is impractical to expect your girlfriend to chat on the phone with you as eagerly and as often as she did when you first got together. But regardless of how many months or years you've been in a relationship, both of you should still look forward to speaking to each other on the phone.
If your girlfriend is slowly moving away from having phone conversations with you and now prefers to connect by text messages, it may be a sign of either one or more of the below.
- She is unhappy with the relationship.
- She is not interested in you anymore.
- She is seeing someone behind your back.
14. Your girlfriend starts to dislike surprise visits from you.
A girl normally loves it if her guy treats her with a surprise visit, whether at home, class, or work—after all, what girl wouldn't want her guy to show her how he just can't resist staying away from her?
There may be a logical explanation for why she feels uncomfortable about your sudden appearance—if you surprise her during an important meeting at work, for example. But if she generally acts aloof or irritated when you give her a romantic surprise, it can signify that she is cheating on you and doesn't want you to walk in on her.
15. She stops responding to your cute posts on social media.
If your girlfriend is cheating you on, she will inadvertently stop responding to the cute things you say to her on social media. She will get unnecessarily irritated when you tag her in a mushy tweet or openly express your love for her on Facebook.
This is because she doesn't want the other guy to see your interaction. Moreover, her guilt over cheating on you will stop her from engaging in this phony interaction in front of all your friends.
16. Your gut feeling is that she is cheating—investigate your suspicion.
Some of life's best decisions are made when the gut feeling or the basic instincts are trusted. If your gut feeling tells you that your girlfriend is cheating on you, don't dismiss it as a simple flare-up of jealousy or possessiveness.
Gut feelings are often based on common sense. Your heart will refuse to believe common sense, and you will try to reassure yourself that all the signs of cheating you're seeing are just an illusion. You must become mentally strong and come out of this emotional cocoon. Observe her actions and behavioral patterns to establish proof before you finally confront her.
Galio Main on January 31, 2020:
So these H** ain’t loyal after all.
Desmond Goitsemang from selebi phikwe Botswana on May 31, 2019:
wonderfull article. thanks a lot
Bill Arigi from Nairobi on June 21, 2018:
Nice article there. Well informative