Signs My Boyfriend Is Cheating on Me
Is my boyfriend cheating on me? I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. How can I be sure? How can I find out if my boyfriend is dating someone else? I am worried that he is seeing someone else but how do I confront him? Even the best of relationships break apart when either of the partners allow their libidos to get the better of them. This post lays bare some of the classic signs of a cheating boyfriend.
1) He becomes very protective of his phone and laptop
One of the first signs of a cheating boyfriend is that he peculiarly becomes very possessive about his phone. His increased possessiveness about his laptop is likely to follow. This is because his phone and laptop may be the only way he keeps in touch with others when you are, or are not around.
So if you see him running to grab the phone when it rings while he is in the shower, or if he refuses to let his phone away from an arm's reach all the time, he may be hiding something from you. Him getting angry when you check his text messages or go through his phone on the grounds of "Give me some space, will ya?" is also a classic example.
It may be natural for him to get angry if you keep hanging on to his phone all the time. However if even the slightest attempt to look at a new text message or receive a call on his behalf irks him off, it just does not seem right. After all, as his girlfriend you can check his messages once in a while, can't you?
2) He refuses to tell you the password to his e-mail, Facebook, Twitter or other online accounts
As netizens, we are all continuously connected to the internet on the move. Emails/social networks make up a significant chunk of our communication needs. Just like his refusal to let you hang on to his phone, his denial to reveal passwords for email, Facebook, Twitter or other social networking accounts and apps should be a point of concern.
It is understandable if he gets annoyed when you dig through his email or continuously post messages via his Facebook. But if he absolutely refuses to give you access even once, there may be something that he is hiding from you.
A point blank denial to share passwords could potentially be a sign of a cheating boyfriend. Even best friends share their passwords. And since you are his girlfriend, don't you think that a complete refusal is a bit weird?
3) He keeps deleting his internet browsing history
So, your boyfriend does not mind the fact that you have access to his email and Facebook. But what if he has an email account that you don't know about? What if he has a Twitter id that you never knew existed? What if he had another Facebook which he uses to impress another girl online?
Multiple accounts could be caught out if the browsing history is not deleted, because Chrome, Firefox and other popular browsers are generally configured to remember login ids, if not the password too. If you find your boyfriend being adamant about deleting the internet browsing history before handing over his laptop to you, you may want to ask "Why are you doing that?"
And if his reply is "Because it is safer. It protects the laptop from a virus", he may very well be taking you for a ride. If you find his answers very vague and incomplete, you could ask him "Are you hiding something from me?" to see how he reacts.
4) He prefers to leave you a text message, Facebook message, Tweet or an email over a phone call
Put yourself in his shoes and assume for a second that you are cheating on your partner. Would it be better to call your partner and explain your whereabouts or would it simply be easier to leave a message like "Hey honey. I am going to be late at work. See you tomorrow"? Of course, the latter is a better option as it leaves little room for ambiguity and discussion.
If his excessive text messages, Facebook wall posts or tweets feel suspicious, tell him to stop doing it and instead, speak to you on the phone. Even if he is an introvert and not much of a talker, the least he can do is call you if that is what it takes to make you feel comfortable.
If he refuses to budge, you may have grounds for suspicion. And if he does in fact start calling you, you should be able to judge from the way he speaks, whether he is saying the truth or not.
5) He does not pick up your calls or switches off his cell phone way too often
Cheesy, yet possibly the most common signs of a cheating boyfriend. Just like he can't take his lover's phone when he is with you, chances are that he can't receive your call when he is with her. So if he does not answer your call all the time, you may want to dig a little deeper to find out what is going on.
"My battery was dead" or "I forgot to charge my cell phone" are also some classic excuses for switching off cell phones. It happens to all of us, so don't get suspicious if it happens a few times. But if you find your boyfriend's cell phone switched off way too often and hearing him tell you that he simply forgot to charge it, ask him to stop making the same mistake again and again.
And if he adamantly blames it on his phone, buy him a new handset. It is a small price to pay to save your relationship from the dumps, don't you think?
6) You don't know anything about many of the friends he hangs out with
You: Where were you?
Him: Hanging out at the mall, with Tony.
You: Who Tony? A new friend?
Him: No. I've known him for a bit.
You: Why haven't I heard his name before?
If such conversations are common place between you and your boyfriend, he could be hiding something from you. Assuming you have been dating your boyfriend for more than 6 months, by now you should now pretty much all the friends he hangs out with.
If new names keep popping up every now and then, it may be something that flags off a concern. Make a deliberate effort to know and remember all his friends and contacts. And if new ones keep popping up again and again, speak to him about your concerns.
7) He develops extreme likes and dislikes about places where you both can go to
Again, it is time for you to put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes. Assuming that you are cheating on your partner, would you want to take the person with whom you are having an affair with, to the same coffee shop that you and your girlfriend are regulars at? No, is the obvious answer. Besides the risk that you could bump in to your partner, even the waiters and other staff would recognize you, don't you think?
In many ways, it is natural for your boyfriend to avoid the places where he takes you out to, if and when he is with his lover and vice versa. It is hard to judge a real like or a dislike as opposed to something deliberate and malicious, but a consistent trend of quirky likes and dislikes could be worth thinking about.
8) He starts giving constant hints that he is unhappy in the relationship
Has your boyfriend consistently been giving you hints that he is not happy with you? Does he often talk about how your relationship isn't going the way he wants? Subtle hints that suggest that he may be on the verge of breaking up you could be potential signs of him seeing someone else.
If he is indeed going out with another girl, he may invariably start comparing your behavior with hers. Whether or not he is serious about the other girl is a different thing, but her behavior may set a benchmark. Your boyfriend may start expecting you to behave like her too.
If your boyfriend finds himself happier with another girl, he may slowly start to show signs of unhappiness and despair. He could even try to make the impeding break up look like your fault and blame you for a broken relationship. Classic signs are him getting angry for no reason, snapping at the slightest of misunderstanding and some such.
9) He stops being possessive about you and shows no signs of jealousy
Wouldn't it be weird if your boyfriend suddenly stopped being possessive about you? Would you feel odd if he suddenly did not mind if you flirted with other guys? Would it be normal if he doesn't bat an eyelid if you talk to a guy on the phone and not tell him anything about it?
Answers to all these questions are individualistic and greatly depend on the level of trust between the both of you. But it is strange if your boyfriend shows no sign of possessiveness at all. It is human nature for a guy to be protective of his partner.
It is also natural for someone to feel a tinge of jealousy when a person of the opposite sex mingles with their partner. If these natural emotions have suddenly disappeared from your boyfriend's behavior, it could be a sign of lack of concern for you and the relationship.
10) He stops meeting you
Cheeky, cliché and obvious. But it is surprising how a facade of love and emotion makes the best of us incapable of spotting the obvious signs of a cheating partner. Assuming that you and your boyfriend live in the same city and have the logistics to meet each other, there is really no reason why you shouldn't.
If you find your boyfriend always armed with an excuse for not meeting, avoiding dates and using every possible reason to get out of seeing you, it should set the alarms off in your mind. As a couple, you both are expected to find time from each other's schedules and meet each other. When your boyfriend refuses to do so all the time, there could be more than what meets the eye.
Note: It is important to remember that human behavior is extremely individualistic and there is no 'one fix for all'. The above signs of a cheating boyfriend are indications of strange behavior. It is best to have a mature discussion with your boyfriend before you jump to any conclusions or decide to break up with him.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.