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Confessions of a Wife Stealer

Dreamworker has had a lifetime of experience dealing with various types of relationships successfully.

Men steal the wives of others all the time. If you have ever wondered why this happens and why marriages fail, this article will explain at least how some couples wind up in divorce court.

Breaking up a marriage is not as difficult as some might think. Given the right circumstances, doing this is just a matter of choosing the right woman, paying attention to how her spouse treats her and then offering yourself as someone who can make life more loving, nurturing and fun for her.

Here is a hypothetical scenario that should serve as a warning to all who take their wives for granted. There is always someone waiting in the wings to take your place if you forget how important she is to you.

Instead of fighting to get her back, you need to make sure that nobody is able to tempt her to leave in the first place!

en who steal the wives of others do not always look like devils.  They just act like them!

en who steal the wives of others do not always look like devils. They just act like them!

Stealing Your Woman Away From You Was Easy

I am the man who stole your wife. You made it so easy, that it was hard for me to resist!

You may assume that I am handsome or rich or that I have an exciting life, but none of that is true. I am just an ordinary guy who was attracted to a woman who happened to be married, and who I wanted for my own.

You thought you were being such a great guy working all those long hours so that you could provide for your family. You never had time to play with your kids, eat dinner with the family or take family vacations.

I, on the other hand, made it a point to lavish your wife with gifts and kindness and let her know that I would be available if she ever needed me or wanted to talk to someone who would listen without making judgments.

Everything for you was always about making money, surviving and sacrificing the present for the future.You never thought about the fact that those things were not what your wife wanted or needed from you.

What she needed was what I provided for her, and as time went on, she realized what she had been missing in her relationship with you.

How Loving Your Wife Allowed Me To Steal Her From You

She told me about how things were when the two of you first fell in love. You were attentive, loving and thoughtful and in those days you showed a real interest in her work, dreams and hopes.

There were wonderful moments when you two quietly shared your warmest thoughts over a quiet glass of wine slipped away into another galaxy and never returned.

However, as time went on, life became busy because there were children to raise, friends to nurture and bosses to please. As people increasingly stepped between the two of you, you stopped hugging her, telling her how much you loved her and thanking her for the wonderful food she placed before you.

Doing these things seemed a waste of time to you, but to here, they would have meant everything.

Before long, she found herself handling all of the household responsibilities herself and spending long evenings alone. She began to wonder what happened to the woman who was so vibrant and full of joy. How had that person become the frumpy couch potato who spent so much time feeling sad and lonely?

Why was she spending so much time by herself, while you got to go out into the world, enjoy business lunches and fulfill your own dreams of success?

I gave your wife what you used to give her, and she loved me for it!

I gave your wife what you used to give her, and she loved me for it!

You Threw Her Right Into My Arms

I could see the emptiness in her eyes the day we met.

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It was quite obvious that she was starving for affection and companionship, and I was more than happy to give them to her.

She was a beautiful woman, full of life and ready to live. I reminded her of that, and brought the sparkle back into her life (the same sparkle that you slowly were sucking out of her soul).

Every time you were too rushed to give her a hug, too busy to listen to her concerns and too tired to make love to her, you prepared another piece of her for me.

My arms were always wide open and ready to take her into them, and finally, she gave herself to me.

Stealing Your Wife Enriched Her Life And Mine

I don't feel bad. In fact I feel pretty good. After all, I have managed to save a woman who was drowning in loneliness and bring back her joy in living.

In so doing, I have made my own life more complete and enjoyable as well. She is my wife now, and I won't ever give her away to anybody.

Why would I? I am now the man who is fortunate enough to revel in her laughter, enjoy her radiance and be loved by her.

I will never open the door of our relationship to allow someone else to enter it. I've learned from your mistakes, and I will not forget the lessons you gave me.

Not a day will go by when I don't hold her, tell her she is beautiful and let her know how much I appreciate having her in my life.

Your wife is now mine.

Your wife is now mine.

I'm Glad I Stole Your Wife

You were too busy making money and fulfilling your own goals to appreciate what you had.

I am not. I know that money can never replace joy, happiness and love, and it should never be an excuse for allowing another human being to whither.

So, enjoy your money, and I will enjoy my new wife.

This is what you chose, and this is what you got. Don't expect me to feel sorry for you, but if you ever marry again, make sure you get your priorities in order. Otherwise you will lose another wife to a man like me.

I am the man who stole your wife, and I'm glad I did!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2015 Sondra Rochelle


Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on February 18, 2020:

In a perfect world, what you say is true. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world.

RockinRandy on February 18, 2020:

There is such a thing as faithfulness. Its in 99% of the vows married couples say to each other before they're married. This women betrayed it. The wife stealer hasn't a clue what it really is!

So being happy now is important, so is an understanding of future happiness and the work it takes to get there. If the husband is busting his hump to get to a good place financially and build a future wealth that involves old age and retirement for 2 people, it takes work. If the wife isn't then she needs to get her husband back and not rely on another man to fulfill her needs. Its called cowardice. She has to stand up and demand her husbands time period.

This story is full of baloney, there is more to a marriage and a relationship then being happy in the now. People and relationships have ebbs and flows. The flows are great and the ebbs suck. The ebbs involve relationships trouble and work problems and emotional baggage and blah blah blah. The list is emmence. It takes a strong marriage to survive them. This if true wasn't a strong marriage.

Lastly if they cheat with you they'll cheat on you. Pretty self explanatory. Most cheating involves a large amount of selfishness. As the saying goes what goes around comes around.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on October 29, 2018:

I'm glad you saw the light...and yes, what I wrote is a true story. It happened years ago to the neighbor of a friend. You have found the secret to happiness, and I hope others will read your comment.

joem789 on October 29, 2018:

Interesting article. It does not seem like a true story. But basically is a warning to pay attention to your spouse. I am the husband who took my wife for granted for so long. And also treated her badly sometimes. Women ask why such a man gets married except to control someone. Truth is, the husband loves his wife inside. But he has behavioral issues. Ofyen a mood disorder. Call it upbringing. Call it hereditary. Bottom line is this. If you love your spouse more than yourself, get help. Tell her you need it and want it. She will sit right by your side during this time to get you well. Especially if she thinks she will end up with the man she thought she married. Women amaze me tremendously. How they can tolerate what they do. They all deserve everything happiness. I broke down from chronic stress that had me thinking my life might end. It shook me so badly that my beliefs changed. Then i suddenly saw my wife with the same eyes i had when we met. I have adored her since. Turns out i was blinded all those years by family traits and dumb beliefs. Coming between the two of us. My wife stuck by me no matter what throughout it all. She's an amazing woman. I will spend the rest of my life keeping her happy. And i impose no restrictions on her. She's now a independent woman with a supportive husband.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on August 06, 2017:

Random: I suggest you get some professional counseling to help you deal with this problem. I can feel your pain, but I'm not the person who can help you with it. I do know that the best thing you can do for yourself is to look forward and not backward. The past is gone, but there is a whole future waiting for you. Don't waste a minute of it on someone who betrayed you. Good Luck!

random on August 06, 2017:

I guess my desire to help her really was what caused the problem. Thank you, the next time I'm married I will put our relationship first, even if I have to make my partner take responsibility for their own debt.

I sort of feel used, you know? I was trying to help her pay off her 100k debt she had racked up, and when I was almost finished, she wants to leave.

Do you know how to deal with this sort of feelings of betrayal?

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on August 06, 2017:

Random: I'm sorry to hear this, but I think it happens more than people realize. In trying to do what you think is the right thing, you create problems for yourself. Hope you have better luck next time.

random on August 05, 2017:

My relationship was like this too.

Although, the reason was quite different.

I was working hard for the future and wasn't really always present because of my job. I was trying to save money for my children to go to school, and to also pay off her debts. One day, I found myself screwed because I was so focused on helping her, someone else became her life partner. By the time I was almost able to help her pay off her debts, she had become distant from me, and wanted a divorce. You can say I pushed her away by prioritizing paying off her debts than spending more time with her.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on April 24, 2017:

Curious: You are assuming that all men are the same. They aren't. What you have is not a marriage. It is an agreement. It doesn't sound like either of you are happy, and I doubt your kids are, either. You're not the only one I've heard of with this problem, and it isn't only the men who "want roommates". If people choose to remain in unhappy circumstances, it's just that...a choice. In situations like yours, it's clearly not a good one. Maybe one day both you and your husband will realize that there are better ways to live. I'm sorry for your situation and hope that it will improve soon.

Curious on April 24, 2017:

I am living under the same roof with my husband and children. We live together as roommates - I'm by myself most of the time, and he was unattentive to my emotions, we don't have meaningful conversation. This is not how I thought a marriage should be. But I am not getting a boy friend and neither getting a divorce for my children. I do, however, want to know why men get married in the first place if they just want a roommate?

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on March 08, 2017:

kiddiecreations: Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed the article.

Nicole K on March 07, 2017:

Very interesting hub. The way it was written reminded me of the book "The Screwtape Letters" by C.S. Lewis. It is so true that we can't neglect the emotional and physical needs of our spouse and expect to have a fulfilling marriage. Thank you for a very thought-provoking hub!

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on September 13, 2016:

Stolen: Sounds like your husband gave you to your new man instead of him stealing you away. Who would want to live like you used to? Good for you. I hope you'll be happy from now on.

Stolen on September 13, 2016:

Your article is so true, I tried to get my husband's attention for 6 years, did everything in the end the job and tv were more important. I tried to do the right thing asked for a divorce after many failed and rejected attempts to spend time with him after years of name calling, being ignored on birthdays and Christmas, anniversaries, mothers day, no intimacy I was told I wasn't getting a divorce as I was his wife and nobody was going anywhere. I met someone through work and we were friends for 2 years nothing else was going on but I was accused of cheating. I was dumped by letter but it was a bluff he then left for the 7th time and told me he would come back if I got rid of my friends and this guy friend and stayed off my phone and computer after 8pm. Facing a life of loneliness I declined and changed the locks. A week later this guy friend asked me out and I said yes. That was 2 years ago and I have never been happier, I feel loved, wanted, appreciated and my kids are happier too. My ex was so angry his ultimatum didn't work he chased after my partners ex wife and they are seeing each other and he is firmly controlling her now. So I have been labelled a cheater but in the end life is too short. Woman get married to have a companion and love not be a housekeeper and pushed aside for a job and tv.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on July 18, 2016:

Jennuifer Mugrage: Oh, if only it were that easy!...and if only people would do what they're supposed to do in this life!

Jennifer Mugrage from Columbus, Ohio on July 14, 2016:

Perhaps the husband in your article does deserve to lose his wife, but his children sure don't deserve to have their family torn apart. What he really needs is a wake-up call (such as this article) and a chance to do things better, like Mr. Scrooge on Christmas morning.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on April 17, 2016:

dashingscorpio: You are the first person who ever has noticed that this article is the flip side of the other! Wrote these years ago, and, of course and as usual, you are totally correct. Good to see you again!

dashingscorpio from Chicago on April 17, 2016:

This is the flip side of your husband cheating on wife article. :)

Except for in this one you do seem to be {blaming the husband} for his wife's decision to cheat on him.

Lets face it, people (choose) to cheat!

No one makes them do it.

Their goal is (compliment) what they already have.

Rarely is a cheater looking to replace one relationship or marriage with another one. Cheating allows them to feel "special" again!

And if we buy into the belief that a wife can be stolen we must also belive a husband can be stolen just as well.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on April 10, 2016:

the one who was stolen: So true. It's called neglect and is one of the main reasons marriages break up. Good comment. Thanks for stopping by.

the one who was stolen on April 10, 2016:

Sometimes the husband doesnt have to pursue money he could just leave her to herself day after day comfortable, unattentive to her emotional needs, not connecting with her and another man will be there to do it not being with her in the moment

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on April 01, 2015:

Guest: I hope you read this because as far as I'm concerned, your husband needed to have someone "steal" you. No man who acts this way deserves to keep a wife. I am sorry for your heartbreak and wish you the best of luck.

Guest on March 31, 2015:

I kept my heart under wraps until I started separating from my husband because of his working long hours and intermittent physical abuse. Only when I started seprartion did I open up to have feelings where my eye wandered. I have never called the cops during our marriage because he would lose his job (healthcare). Calling me names for a year, never home, scraping by but making me think we had more... He thought it was romantic and I guess a lot of it was. If he hadn't started calling me a motherf***** every little argument, if he hadn't abandoned me twice without transportation, if he hadn't broken so many things...if we had kids I might even still take the namecalling. Now I think... Just let me leave and let him keep all that money. He is the type of person who thinks it is fine to put his hands on his wife and I can never protect myself without possibly sacrificing our livelihood and his job. I would never be able to call the cops on him. I was a wife who 'watched' herself for him. No one would steal me. In the end, adopting a wandering eye is helping me get out but after opening up, it is hard to remember that I was already leaving.

Sondra Rochelle (author) from USA on February 13, 2015:

Ask Queenmother: This was not written to be funny, but rather to be a warning to men to not take their wives for granted. I once knew a couple who seemed happy, until the man next store kept goading the husband into demanding that his wife do a better job with money, cleaning, intimacy, etc. The couple divorced, and the next door neighbor married the wife! Each situation is different, so while what you say may be true in many cases, in many it is not. I'm not so sure that very many women seek "happiness from within" when their husbands are ignoring their needs. Times have changed!

Ask Queenmother from Atlanta, GA on February 12, 2015:

Greetings Dreammaker,

I thought your article was funny and straight out of a dream. Most dream of some prince charming when they are young. Mature women seek happiness within and never leave their husband for another man. Mature women leave men because that is their choice. Thanks for the chuckle.



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