I've had men lose interest in me and treat me poorly in the past, don't let it happen to you!
Every relationship has that honeymoon period. It can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Once the intense cuteness has faded, usually things have settled to the point you are comfortable and secure with one another. This does not mean your man no longer feels strongly about you; it's just another stage in your relationship.
But when things seem to take a sour turn, who's to blame? Has he lost interest in you, or is it just a normal road bump you two have to work out?
There are some clear indicators that your man is losing interest in you and is actively trying to break things off without directly saying it.
Signs He Is Losing Interest
Here are 17 clear signs that your man is losing interest in you rapidly and that he is looking to break things off.
- His attention towards you has dramatically dropped.
- He stops making plans and going on dates with you.
- He becomes vague.
- He dodges questions about the future.
- He stops trying to be romantic.
- He starts acting rude.
- He thinks of you as a friend.
- He hits on you all the time.
- Lack of phone calls and texts.
- He stops calling you by your first name.
- There's no sex.
- There's only sex.
- He stops caring about his appearance.
- He keeps making excuses.
- You're no longer a priority.
- He starts picking fights.
- He flirts with other girls in front of you.
1. His Attention Towards You Has Dramatically Dropped
If your man in question was talking to you a lot, calling, texting, trying to make conversation, and wanting to see you, then suddenly slows down, you should be worried. Men are very abrupt when they lose interest. Going from lots of talking to no response isn't an accident. He's sending you a sign.
I have seen men use this trick when they want rid of someone but not entirely. It means he's not really interested, but he's not burning bridges so that you're still there for a lonely night. If he suddenly texts you a bit out of the blue one Friday night after several days or weeks of not talking, he hasn't been busy. He's been playing the field, and now that there's nobody else around, he wants to hook up.
2. He Stops Making Plans and Going on Dates With You
When you first start dating someone, it's all excitement. You want to meet them for a drink, go and see a film, get some dinner, or even just hang out at home together. So if he begins to lose interest in making plans, then it may be a sign that he's losing interest in you. Men are keen creatures, and when they are interested in a woman, they will actively pursue seeing her again. If he's starting to lose interest in you, his plans will become vague. He'll start saying he wants to do something "another day" and cancelling dates at the last minute (or just not showing up).
If you have no idea when you will see him next and it's been a few days, he's not trying to see you. And if that's the case, it might be time for you to pull away.
3. He Becomes Vague
This also ties in with the above statement. When a man starts become vague about plans, his texts become less enthusiastic, and you go longer periods of time with less communication from his end, it's likely he is losing interest.
If you're having a hard time learning his plans, only to find out he's been going out with his friends or family, then it's time to move on from this man. He clearly isn't making time for you when he has plenty of it.
4. He Dodges Questions About Your Relationship and Your Future
An early sign that he is losing interest is when he doesn't seem to want to put a label on anything. This is an especially strong warning if you've been going out for a few weeks and things seem to be going well.
We all have to face that awkward talk to establish just how we feel and whether we're in a relationship. If it has been a few weeks and he's doing the following, then it's a sign he's not actually looking for a relationship with you:
- Not taking the step of asking you to become official
- Not mentioning anything that even hints that he wants something more serious
- Making vague excuses about friends or wanting to be sure you're right for him, yet he continues to pursue you intimately and treat you like a girlfriend
It's time to stop dating him. He's just stringing you along until the next person.
5. He Stops Making an Effort to Be Romantic
Whether he's letting his personal appearance and hygiene slide, the quality of your dates is becoming disappointing, or his behaviour is below par, if he's making much less effort than he was initially, it's probably because he's losing interest. If your first date blew you off your feet, your second date was beautifully romantic, your third was cute and fun, your fourth was wild and crazy, and then suddenly he's taking you to a fast food restaurant or swinging by for an hour to hit on you, he's not all that interested.
When a man is interested he will make an effort. He will want to impress the woman and get to know her, and to do so, he will want to look his best to make sure she thinks he's a catch. A woman will do the same thing when she's interested in a guy. So if you notice his effort is diminishing, it might be time to call off the dates.
6. He Starts Acting Rude
He ignores you and sometimes even shows contempt.
When a nice, polite, sweet guy who seems genuinely interested in you begins acting rude, you shouldn't let it slide. By rude, I mean:
- He ignores you.
- He makes offensive jokes.
- He seems to be sneering at things you're saying.
Any of these things can happen in person, on the phone, or by text.
Think about it: How many times have you gone out with someone that you lost interest in and began to feel annoyed with? Perhaps you were intentionally rude to some guy just so he would leave you alone? Men use this same trick on women.
If he's saying things in an attempt to provoke a response (e.g.: cracking woman jokes, mocking you, making rude blunt statements, being short with you, swearing inappropriately or making you feel bad in any way), you should avoid him.
You don't have to tolerate anything from this guy, and you don't owe him anything. If he's being rude, he's likely not very interested in you. If he were, he would do his best to be a kind, impressive human being.
7. He Starts Thinking of You as a Friend
He starts using the word "friends" around you more often.
When you notice he's referring to you as a "friend," saying you're a good friend, that you have a good friendship, or that he's glad you're friends, he may be trying to gently let you down.
So take a hint. He just wants to be friends, and he doesn't see you as anything more. To be fair, this is one of the kinder ways for him to do so.
If he's talking about friends and friendship, he doesn't see you as girlfriend material now or in the near future.
8. He Hits on You Excessively
He avoids the relationship talk but is always talking seductively.
By "hitting," I don't mean beating you; I mean he's trying to get lucky with you. The more winks he sends, the more seductive he tries to be, and the more persistent he is with intimacy, the less likely it is that he views you as a girlfriend. He probably sees you more as a friend with benefits or even a random girl to hook up with.
If you've tried discussing your relationship, hanging out without getting intimate, and going on normal dates, but he still pursues you like that do not sleep with him. He is not going to respect your body. Instead, he will use you, leave you, and make you feel bad about yourself. You don't deserve someone that is only after you for some fun. You deserve someone who has a real interest in being with you.
9. A Lack of Phone Calls
A giveaway to the fact your man is losing interest is when he doesn't call you. Men who are interested will phone you, talk to you, and actually speak to you on the phone for a period of time. If you offer to call him and he says he's busy or tells you to call tomorrow (which never happens), it's a sign he doesn't want to pursue an active ongoing conversation with you.
You wouldn't normally phone your friends as much as you would a lover, so avoiding phone calls may just mean that he considers you a friend.
Or it's possible he'd rather you didn't phone because it's much harder to ignore a call than a text or an online chat. This ties in with being vague and not making plans—if you don't call, it's easier for him to distance himself.
You should be wary even if he never really called you from the beginning. Look at it this way: You're interested and would like to call him up, right? So he should feel the same way if he's into you.
10. He Stops Calling You by Your First Name
He doesn't call you by your first name in conversation.
If he texts you and calls you "sexy," "gorgeous," "stunner," "hun," "honey," "babe," "baby," "boo," or (the worst one of all) "bae," he's not taking you very seriously. This counts for texts, online chats, face-to-face conversations, emails, and phone calls. If he never uses your first name, then he may not even really remember it.
Usually, these kind of men are looking for a fling and trying to butter you up by calling you something that compliments your looks. Sometimes, they're even trying the same thing on multiple girls at once.
When you talk to him in person, I'm sure you call him by his first name. Within certain contexts, you probably add his name to the end of texts. If he's not doing this to you, and instead the only thing he calls you is a pet name, then it's likely he's not very interested in you.
11. There's No Sex
If he stops regularly getting intimate with you that can be a huge sign that his interest is dropping. Men tend to crave physical intimacy, and the fact that it has stopped means he may also be seeing someone else on the side.
As his attraction towards you drops and he stops spending regular time with you, he will be less likely to initiate anything intimate, and he may just drop it altogether.
12. There's Only Sex
On the flip side, if he constantly gets frisky with you and that is the only thing the two of you do, it can be a sign that his interest in you is waning. He may still be attracted to you, but he is only interested in using you for his own sexual gratification.
He will start seeing you less and less but pressure you into having sex with him when the two of you do spend time together.
13. He Stops Caring About His Appearance
As he loses interest, he will start dressing worse and letting his hygiene around you slip. Instead of trying to look good for you, he will do the opposite. He no longer feels like you are important enough for him to warrant dressing well. This may also be his attempt to get you to lose interest in him so he can justify breaking it off.
14. He Keeps Making Excuses
He will keep making up reasons and excuses for why the two of you cannot hang out, and it will become pretty apparent that he is not as busy as he says he is. No one is so busy that they completely stop having time for someone else. If this behavior continues for a while, it is a strong indication that he is no longer interested in you like he was before.
As his desire to spend time with you decreases, his list of excuses will increase. When you ask him to do something during the weekend, he will complain that he is super busy or super tired from the week and just wants to spend some time alone. While this may be believable for a few weeks, after that, it's just a sign that he would rather do something else than spend time with you.
15. You're No Longer a Priority
His general attitude toward you will indicate that you are not a priority for him anymore. As he continues to spend less and less time with you, he will start to prioritize other activities over you. Instead of trying to make plans that fit into your schedule, he will begin to ignore your needs and make you a low priority.
He wants to send a clear sign that you no longer matter to him and this is a clear indication of that fact.
16. He Starts Picking Fights
When the two of you together he will look for things to fight with you about, trying to put the blame on you and make you feel bad. This tactic is used on his end as justification to break it off with you. He will try to make things difficult for you so that you will no longer want to spend time with him since he is too scared to just be upfront with you and tell you he wants to see other people.
By arguing with you and making you think of him in a hostile light, he is sending the message that he no longer cares about you and that he wants you out of his life. If he has started acting this way, then it is best to try to break things off as it will make your life much less stressful.
17. He Flirts With Other Girls in Front of You
If he starts flirting with other women in front of you, it is a big sign that he no longer values your relationship. The fact that he would cross that line when he knows better is bad, and it shows that he is actively trying to make you mad. He is hoping that you will get the message and leave him, so he does not have to have that awkward conversation with you about breaking up.
Guys Explain Their Top Breakup Signs
The Closing Statement
Don't get hung up on men that aren't interested in you. Every minute of time you waste on a man, trying to make him like you, could be time you spend on things that make you happy and one day spend with your future husband. Get out there, and meet some good men.
If one stops calling, then it's not the end of the world. Stop contacting him, and if he doesn't bother to contact you again, then you've ended it on a good note and he can't say anything bad about you.
Treating bad men badly by hassling them, pressuring them, stalking them on the Internet, or being too persistent will lead them to tell other men that you're no good. You don't want a guy who didn't deserve you to lead other men to pass judgement on you before they get to know you.
Move on and find someone worth your time!
© 2014 GlitteryFlamingo
Jules77799 on August 10, 2020:
To DonnaB - not true. Men do not stay with women b/c of Sex. Only a dirty-minded, low class type of guy does that most likely. A good guy looks for a woman that has it all - one that takes care of herself, has a life (family/friends), hobbies or things she enjoys doing, has a decent job (depends on what kind of job he has too). Men usually go for women who make similar salary to theirs or who make more than they do. Then of course, she has to be attractive to him & she has to find him attractive. Men will not go for a woman who does not like them back. They've got their pride. In essence, a guy wants to feel like he's won a great prize in the woman he chooses as his. I'm sure such a woman would never have to visit a site like this (...signs he's losing interest in me...) b/c she's got what it takes to get a man to marry her & stay with her. I've got some of what it takes to keep a guy interested, but my problem is I usually get guys who are below my league (low wage earners, not professional in work). When I was younger, I was too clingy & maybe too affectionate (& scared one guy away). My first love left me for a another girl with a more professional job like his. With another guy, I did not have the right social status. Often times too, guys fall out of love. They like you a lot at first (for weeks, months), but then they fall out of love. So I'm on a quest now to be the type of woman a good man will love & hopefully want to marry. I've learned a lot re: the type of woman a man does not leave & eventually marries. Good luck to everyone here in finding that.
Rosaline on August 09, 2020:
Well.....my bf and I used to be very close and I was his first priority but now ...he's more interested in his own world hanging out with his friends and the worst of all is he talks to me for like 30 mins a day ....or even less than that ...
Depressed girl on July 15, 2020:
Me and my boyfriend used to Pay attention to me but now he dosent answers me at all
DonnaB on December 07, 2019:
Most wimen cause this problem to themselves by getting lazy, getting fat & getting boring. Ever since i stripped my weight introduced a few toys to the bedroom and paid attention to my man instead of watching tv or my phone, I only need to walk by him in my V-string & he wants nothing more than to thrust his cock in me. Seriously men are easy to tame, turn that sex tap off & they will lose intersest and the relationship will be doomed. Spontaneity will get you everything you need, my hubby will suck my pussy for an hour a few nights a week just becauae i talked to him about his day or laughed with him.
sheila on November 01, 2019:
My boy friend use to block me on whatsapp when ever we had fight , then open it again , does he loves me?
ama on September 20, 2019:
My boy friend use to block me on whatsapp when ever we had fight , then open it again , does he loves me?
jules77799 on June 03, 2019:
In regard to # 13, 5 & 16, it is funny that if the girl the guy is with (either living together or married) and she's treating him badly (no sex, takes him for granted) - there are men who will not leave for a better woman. Instead they do the opposite of # 13, 5 & 16. The guy will work on his appearance (workout) so to hopefully get sex, wants romance & love, & would not ever think of picking a fight to leave a horrible situation. What gives? This whole thing is about 'men losing interest' - but I guess there are women out there who are so out of their league (make more money then the guy perhaps, has a degree - which he doesn't), that there is no way a guy would give up his nice living situation, (home). They'd rather be with the worst woman in the world! than be with one who truly loves them. My guy lost interest in me. Our story started b/c he was getting no sex at home. He found me attractive, & we started to bond some, but I messed up by professing & showing him too soon how I felt (no sex involved). Sex w/ me for sure was out of the question (I would never consider it if we were not exclusive). I think he was just looking to bond with someone & share a little romance (i.e. hugs & flirting). But he's lost interest now that I've left our workplace for another job. I've had to initiate the IMs & his responses have been short & vague. I am devastated and angry at myself for what's happened. We were starting to get close & he opened up to me about personal issues. And now, we don't talk & he doesn't want to see me.
So for all you gals out there who's guy has lost interest - well there's going to be some woman out there in which he will not lose interest in - someone out of his league perhaps (makes more money, younger, more intelligent, whatever...). A woman who he likely had to chase & pursue for a while (perhaps the reason for the undying love - even if she treats him badly now). But you know what they say about 'karma'. What he's done will happen to him. The woman he's with has either already lost or is losing interest in him b/c # 1, 5, 11, 14, & 15 have already happened in his case.
Vivian Anderson on February 14, 2019:
Hi. I was dating a guy for months but all of a sudden, we started talking less and less. We didnt see each other anymore because he said he was busy. Then I found out that the girl he used to date before me came back and now they are together...it broke my heart. I just want to know if you could make him come back to me and leave that girl.
Sean on February 03, 2019:
A lot of truth to the signs but zero input on how to fix it. So basically if a man loses interest than woman should move on and make zero effort.
Vicky on January 11, 2019:
they are the ones forces us to loose interest in them like in a situation you call a lady and she claims to be busy all the time or if she calls, the first excuse is"have been busy "to make matters worse you call her in the morning and she refused to pick then she call you at 10pm ,why don't I go silent and look for someone who is ready to pick and answer my text...
Cadee on January 03, 2019:
I am having trouble with this boy I’m not dating him but I have a crush on home he usually respond with I one worded text I asked him a question he said eh Im the type of girl to over think things plz help I need it
Natalie on December 29, 2018:
Or he’s just REALLY clingy
Stones Parker on October 19, 2018:
You want to know all about his phone activities from messages,calls and social media activities.....i can guarantee you Cyberhost998 @ gmail dot com
Yoyo on July 05, 2018:
Im a man and i completly agree with these points, it happends instinctivly girls. Better fix ur game :))
Hello Rascal Men on May 26, 2018:
It's you guy who keep playing roller coaster on women. One thing give hope another turn cold. What the hell are you guy doing. All of you use penis to live and not Brain.
X on April 13, 2018:
Women, stop forcing relationships on men. Stop coercing men into getting into relationships, stop being clingy for you feel lonely and miserable. It's unfair to see men as resources and objects. If he doesn't feel, he doesn't feel. He's isn't an asshole for not having feelings for you.
Sam on April 02, 2018:
I'm in love but he doesn't love me back he says were better off as good friends.
Sam on April 02, 2018:
I'm in love with this guy but he keeps sayig that we are good friends, and he doesn't want our friendship to be ruined or possibly end. I even asked him to be my boyfriend and he said sorry i'm trying to get over my ex and i'm like you dumped her though, huh. So then I blew up on him and said i'm literally pouring my heart out on you and I have liked you since I met you and I just didn't think that was the right time to tell you since you were dating someone and he just says I'm really sorry, but I don't want our frienship to end in anyway possible. So i asked him to go with me as friends to a dance thing and he said sorry i'm not going and i'm like why and he said cause we are good friends and I want to stay that way.
Is it just me or did I find the wrong guy to fall in love with, please help me understand more about my situation and help me understand how I can get him to fall in love or at least like me. He is the nicest and sweetest guy ever. Please someone help me understand what to do.
paula roberts on December 29, 2017:
ive moved on lol
Pop on June 11, 2017:
Mya on April 26, 2017:
Girls don't read this, it just makes you worry more and sometime the reason is right out in the open and you just have to talk to him about it and not assume thing's.
Rosset on December 30, 2016:
You are so right Jackie you go man!!! :)
Lorena8 on December 22, 2016:
Thank you so much for this article i found it very comforting as I was angry and in a confused state of mind when I found it. Ok my story whoever is reading this might be quick to judge me but whatever you think is your opinion. I meet this guy on dating website so chatted for few weeks then decided to meet in real life. Also he happens to be local, which is fantastic cuz I wasn't very keen with a long distance relationship.
As soon as we met our connection was like magic it wasn't very long before we started kissing each other. We spent 10 straight together, we went from pub to pub had drinks even went for dinner. He offered to drive me home and I obliged. When I got to my place he offer to walk me to the door, I thought that was really sweet of him.
When we got to the door we just stood there and carried on chatting to each other, it was quite late, around midnight. then I said oh I would've invited you in but my flat is very messy as I haven't had the time to tidy it up since I got back from holidays. He said oh no that's not a problem, you should see how messy my house is first before talk about yours, we laugh about it before I said him ok come in then.
We sat on couch cuddled up to and watch few films and Kissd each, he seem very nice and I liked him straight away. Around 4am we where both tired so he suggested we should to go bed so I lead to my bedroom and we went to be. He just couldn't keep he's hand off my body. I felt unsure if I wanted to have sex with him. I told him on but I wasn't firm about it.
So went on and had sex that more. I regretted it straight away. He left in the late morning and i didn't hear from him the whole day, so I texted in the evening to ask if hi got home ok. He reply yes thanks. My heart sunk. I kinda of expect him to at least ask me how I'm doing but he didn't. That's was the first alarm bell. Since then hes been very cold towards me. I even told him that he has suddenly become cold and he replied and said, I'm busy that all. I knew straight that his no longer interest in me. But after reading this article I kind of understood his drill a lot better. I have now promised myself that this is going to be the first and last time that I will ever have sex on a first date. Not because is bad but because of the way it made me feel. I feel bad and I blame myself for being so easy and stupid.
Sabri'A on December 09, 2016:
Pretty accurate smh
Jackie on October 13, 2016:
Y do the girls always have to full fill a guys needs but a guy cant do that or at least treat his girl the right way maybe the girl wont be a bitch or if the guys stop there bullshit maybe women will treat a guy the right way it goes both ways
firstname.lastname@example.org on September 04, 2016:
quit reading this shit. All it does is make woman more insecure than they are. If you sense your BF is losing interest it is more than likely that YOU are doing something wrong. NOT treating him right or fuffilling his needs. FInd out what they are by communicating and then taking action. End of story.
dee on May 02, 2015: