8 Practical Tips to Stop Fighting With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Updated on October 12, 2018
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Hi! I love writing about relationships, love, romance, and flirting. I hope you find the advice in my articles useful.

Arguing too much with your partner? Read on for tips that will help put an end to all the bickering and fighting.
Arguing too much with your partner? Read on for tips that will help put an end to all the bickering and fighting. | Source

Learning how to stop fighting with your significant other is much more intensive than just going through a checklist or flipping through a manual. It may very well be much harder than the hardest exam you've ever given. Let's put that thought aside and take a look at tips that will help you stop arguing and fighting with your partner and throw light on how you can save your relationship.

1. Stop Swearing

Arguments and fights happen in all relationships. But one of the fundamental elements that aggravate arguments is the use of swear words and profanities. While you may have inadvertently called your boyfriend an a**h**e or called your girlfriend a bi**h in a fit of rage or while making fun of them, these words may very well ring out aloud in their head later. After a fight, your partner may very well be thinking aloud "Wow she called me an a**h**e in front f everyone" or "He says he loves me but he calls me a bi**h. How rude of him"

Make it a rule and stick to it – You or your partner will not use swear words when you argue.

2) Look at Old Pictures of You With Your Partner

Looking at old pictures of the both of you will ignite an emotional spark and help you think of the good times that you spent together. It is one of the easiest stimulants that you can get to stop fighting with your boyfriend or girlfriend. So when you have some spare time, pull on those comfortable jammies, fix yourself a nice hot homemade cappuccino, play romantic music and just lay on your bed as you flip through your precious pictures and loving memories.

When you hit a dead end, think of the good times you've spent flirting with and impressing your partner. Those memories will give you goose bumps. In picture are Ashton Kutcher with co-star Lea Michele.
When you hit a dead end, think of the good times you've spent flirting with and impressing your partner. Those memories will give you goose bumps. In picture are Ashton Kutcher with co-star Lea Michele. | Source

3) Think About The Things That You Did To Impress Your Partner Before You Started Your Relationship

Do you remember the cute little things that you did to impress your girlfriend/boyfriend before your relationship started? Yes, we are talking about all the innocent flirting, touching of hands, the long drives, the romantic dates and so on.

Think of the spark that was burning inside you and think of the urge you had to just hug your partner and stay in his/her arms all night long. This is the stuff that romantic movies are made off and you will get a lot of goose bumps as your mind goes on a happy little emotional roller coaster. Such warm and loving thoughts will help you mellow down. Whoever knew learning how to stop fighting would be some much fun?

4) Think Of Your Life Without The Company Of Your Partner

If you really want to save your relationship and end your never ending arguments, think about the disadvantages of living your life without your partner. No longer will you have someone to hug in the middle of the night nor will you have someone who will come running to you if you fall sick. You won't have anyone to share your secrets with nor will you have someone who will like you for who you are. Who will hold you in your arms and say "I love you"? Who will look into your eyes and smile? Who will tolerate your idiosyncrasies and quirky little habits?

These were just a few questions to ponder about. To stop fighting with your partner, you must realize that life without your girlfriend or boyfriend can possibly be much worse than the rough patch that your relationship is going through.

Who will you spend those romantic moments with? Who will you look into the eye and say I Love You? Think of these things and think of how miserable your life would be if you didn't have your boyfriend or girlfriend by your side.
Who will you spend those romantic moments with? Who will you look into the eye and say I Love You? Think of these things and think of how miserable your life would be if you didn't have your boyfriend or girlfriend by your side. | Source

5) Introspect: Am I Doing Something Wrong Again And Again?

Do you have a bad habit that is coming in between you and your efforts to save your relationship? It could be something as silly as being a nagging girlfriend or an overtly possessive boyfriend to something as serious as a nasty flirting habit. We all have our idiosyncrasies and it is our right to expect our partners to tolerate them.

But if one of your habits it continuously pushing the limits, you may very well throw your plans of learning how to stop fighting with your boyfriend or girlfriend, out the window. Maybe it is time for a little introspection. Maybe it is time you sat down with a calm head and thought about something that you may be doing again and again that annoys your partner. You may be winning all the arguments, but are you really right?

Don't feel like talking? Just ask your partner to back off and talk to you when you are in a good mood. One less argument, job done.
Don't feel like talking? Just ask your partner to back off and talk to you when you are in a good mood. One less argument, job done. | Source

6) If You Are in a Bad Mood, Back Off

We all have days in which we may not be in the best of moods. If you are having a bad day and your temper is out of bounds, step back and refrain from getting into any animated conversations with your partner. If your partner starts a discussion that touches a tender nerve, just tell him/her something on the lines of "Look, it is best if we don't talk right now. I'm not in the right frame of mind" By backing of at the right moment, you may very well have avoided a fight that could have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

7) Spend a Few Days Away From Your Partner: But Don't Party

After a point, partners who continuously argue with each other may in fact believe that their lives are better without their loved ones. If you think so too, get a taste of loneliness by spending a few days or maybe even a week away from your partner.

You will suddenly realize how badly you crave the happy, sad, fun and the naughty stuff that you do with him/her. Just make sure you don't attend a party or an event where there is alcohol. Booze can make you do the wrong thing at the wrong time with the wrong company.

8) Make a List of the Reasons Why You Want to Stop Fighting With Your Partner

The easiest way to be reminded of how badly you want to stop fighting with your girlfriend or boyfriend is to make a short but hard-hitting list of things that point out why you want to save your relationship. It can be a silly and mushy-mushy list, or it can be a serious list of things that hit you hard.

Next, put that list up at a place where you can see it every day. It could be on the fridge, on the bathroom mirror or your cupboard door. Use a piece of paper or use post-it notes, whatever can grab your attention every time you walk by. Allow me to spell it out for you - Here are a few examples.

I want to stop fighting with my boyfriend because

  • I love him a lot
  • I can't afford to lose him
  • I would feel jealous and destroyed if he started dating someone else
  • Who is going to drop me off at dance class every week? (giggle)
  • I can't stay 1 day without him, let alone 1 week
  • We make the perfect pair
  • We've been through a lot and I don't want all the effort that's been put in our relationship to go waste

I want to stop fighting with my girlfriend because

  • I love her and we have a great bond
  • She is beautiful and she makes me laugh
  • I have never had a chemistry with anyone as good as the one that I have with her – inside and outside the bedroom
  • Who else will accept my idiosyncrasies?
  • She is perfect for me, not just because she is hot (giggle)
  • Neither of us is perfect and I don't want to lose a person just because I wasn't willing to listen

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Michelle 

        6 weeks ago

        I argue with my boyfriend so much we're trying to work it out that he keeps bringing up the past but I did not do nothing wrong it's because he's cheated on me and he's always accusing me of doing. And I've been trying to work a relationship. Arguing with him that he still argue with me then I found out that he has the girl clothes the one I found that picture of her and her laundry when he was with me lying to me and I don't know what to do he says he loves but I don't believe anything you say as I still think he still hiding something from me

      • profile image

        Marcus Siow 

        4 months ago

        We experience a load of relationship problems, which we may quarrel constantly about. All of these can be pointed to a singular cause, as they are all related to each other some way or another. Solving issues which are not the deep rooted problems in the relationship only solve as a bandaid solution rather than a preventative approach to future issues. Without further ado, here are the common 5 relationship problems and their interactions.

        Lack of Trust: It is the very foundation of every relationship. Without trust, no love can blossom as communication is viewed through tinted lenses. Everything that a person does will not be viewed with objectivity but with assumptions of the worst. A recipe for disaster.

        Communication Issues: Passive aggressive approaches, cold wars, inability to understand each other are signs of communication issues. Delving deeper, it is not only about communicating your needs, but also understanding the entirety of how your partner might view a particular situation and come to an mutual agreement of how to proceed.

        Neglect: Nowadays, people get into relationships because it is socially admirable to do so. You get alot of situations where people are ‘there’ but ‘not there’. Behavioral manifestations include inability to be present in the moment with your partner, feelings of ‘I should be loving you but I don’t know why I don’t.’

        Lack Of Intimacy: A relationship cannot blossom with the lack of physical and emotional intimacy. The polarization of sexuality is the exact reason why male and females are drawn to each other and involve themselves in intimate relationships. Resisting your own sexuality or restricting your partner’s sexuality can create feelings of lack of trust and neglect.

        Insecurity: Closely related to trust, behaviors on the surface may seem similar but the intention behind their actions differs greatly. Insecure individuals come from the perspective of ‘Am I good enough’ rather than ‘He/She is up to no good’ and assume the worst as a result.

        All these issues are interlinked and can cause each other to occur. Resolving the deepest rooted issue of each relationship can cause subsequent issues to become trivial and solvable. I have written an assessment quiz to find out what issue you are having in your relationship and it gives you clarity into the exact root problem you are facing in your relationship.

        You can check out the link here:

        https://pairedlife.com/problems/How-to-stop-fighti...

      • profile image

        jasonlarkins 

        4 months ago

        My wife and I used to fight a lot. And it is through these fights that I realise how I wasn't seeing things from her perspective. Learning to slow down, seek help from others (I worked with a life coach) were key.

        Last month, we celebrated our 8th anniversary!

        Together with some of my friends in the coaching community, we came together and created this guide on relationships:

        https://goo.gl/PYxBgq

        Do take a look and let me know if it helps!

      • profile image

        mary 

        6 months ago

        my boyfriend and I fight everyday and sometimes even a little at night. I don't want to break up with him but i don't see the fighting to get any better. Sometimes he will snap at me and shout but is never physical or abusive towards me. He has autism but I don't want that to be the trigger of why we fight and why he gets angry sometimes. We both have been through a lot in our lives

      • profile image

        Gloria 

        8 months ago

        My boyfriend an i been fighting a lot lot lately buh the last one seemed to be the end of "US"

      • profile image

        timmy 

        12 months ago

        my boyfriend and i have been through alot and i cant take it anymore

      • profile image

        Wow 

        18 months ago

        My boyfriend and I are now in a long distance relationship. I live over twenty hours away from where he lives, and where we both met. Sometimes over texting we have fights, but our last one seems like there is something wrong on his side, because I can't understand what he is getting at. I had a few friends read a part of the conversation where the argument started and they have no clues. I was wondering if I should text him or should I wait for him to get out of his little rut and text me. Thanks for the help y'all.

      • profile image

        Michelle Widmann 

        5 years ago

        This is a great hub. I think when me and my fiancé are fighting, we try not to raise our voices and use logical arguments rather than personal attacks. The minute you break out the personal attacks, you start hurting each other for no reason and are more likely to lead to a break-up, or a lot of hurt feelings.

        But yeah, it's definitely best to remember that no one is perfect. You can't expect perfection from your partner, and you can't expect it of yourself. So instead of being stubborn, sometimes it's best to look at your own actions and maybe be the bigger person - admit you've made a mistake, or tell them how you feel about the argument.

        A lot of fights aren't worth fighting, so I tend to step down even if I know I'm right. Fighting is just wasted time that you and your partner could spend doing more constructive things for your relationship.

      • rainpurplewine profile image

        Elizabeth 

        5 years ago from ATLANTA,Ga

        Nice hub, it's true nobody is perfect and that's something to remember when your dealing with another personality.

      • MissJamieD profile image

        MissJamieD 

        5 years ago from Minnes-O-ta

        I just wrote a similar hub:) It's so important to cherish your loved ones. People seem to forget, then wonder why life sucks. lol

      • jainismus profile image

        Mahaveer Sanglikar 

        5 years ago from Pune, India

        Great tips......

      • lmlynde profile image

        lmlynde 

        5 years ago from Nevada

        Awesome information on how to combat those damaging problems in relationships! Very well written.....great job!

      • Mandeeadair profile image

        Mandeeadair 

        6 years ago from California

        Great tips and nicely written!

      • psychicdog.net profile image

        psychicdog.net 

        6 years ago

        Great tips Pwap - the stay away for a while tip reminded me of the old saying - absence makes the heart grow fonder. Much of the strife too, comes from what we have to do as parents - it's a very demanding role where there is little time to reflect but you so rightly remind us to. If you can step back and see it for what it is rather than pointing the finger that helps.

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