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How to Deal With a Female Sociopath
After writing an article on the symptoms of a sociopath, I was surprised to find (from the comments) that sociopaths are seen in a negative light. One who lives without remorse and is unable to cultivate feelings of affection for others isn't necessarily a bad person.
Sociopathic women have an even worse reputation than their male counterparts. While sociopathic men rank among some of our favorite heroes (e.g., James Bond), sociopathic women (e.g., Miranda Priestly) are viewed as dangerous, shifty, ruthless witches.
Sociopathic women are nothing to be afraid of. So long as you understand some basic principles about how they operate, you should be able to get along with them without harm or trouble- you might even be glad to know them!
The first thing you must do when addressing a female sociopath is to disengage emotionally. This has two benefits, the first being that it will be harder for said sociopath to manipulate you, and the second being that you will have an easier time seeing the world from her perspective.
You see, sociopaths are known for their lack of remorse for having wronged others, as well as recklessness and disregard for the safety of others and inability to create meaningful relationships. In short, your sociopathic lady friend does not care about you or how you feel, so you'd do best by not caring too much about her, either.
Seeing as sociopaths are frequently unbound by their need to care for others and their silly feelings, you're not going to be able to get very far with this person using the traditional social tactic of "getting her to like you."
Instead, you'll have to once again consider the world from your female sociopath's perspective and get transactional. What do you have to offer that she might need? How will you make her life better? What would she maybe want to use her for?
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Once you know what these things are, you can utilize them as bargaining chips in your relationship. It might not seem like the nicest thing to do, but sociopaths are not particularly concerned about being nice, so you don't have to be either.
Let's say you think this sociopath is a cool gal, or you like the potential connections, power, swag, sex, money, or hilarious misadventures she could potentially bring into your life. Say that this means you'll need to cultivate something more than a transactional relationship. That's fine. We can work with that.
The best way to cultivate a long-term relationship with a female sociopath is to share some goals with her. Perhaps you both want to assassinate the same person, climb Everest together, or climb to the top of a certain social group. Your shared goals and the synergistic results you could see should you work as a team, might convince this sociopath that you're worth keeping around . . . for now.
Tips on Just Getting By
If you're forced to work or otherwise interact with a female sociopath against your will (e.g., you have a Miranda Priestly-like boss), don't worry. There are manifold ways (in addition to those outlined above) to reduce the effect her tyranny may have on you.
Here are some of the simplest means by which you can avoid the wrath of your resident sociopathic woman:
- Do NOT get in her way (and if you do, make sure she doesn't realize you were the one who foiled her plans)
- Minimize direct interaction or contact
- Do not discuss your personal life with her (she may discover your emotional weaknesses and use them against you)
I hope you have found this guide helpful and that your regard for female sociopaths has shifted from one of outright hatred to one of cold calculation. These women often do not choose to be sociopaths, after all, and their sociopathic nature does not make them bad people per se. They just live by a different set of rules, and once you understand them, these people are quite manageable!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.