Tina is a Marriage, Relationship, & Intimacy Life Coach. She has been cheated on by a partner.
Here are some of the tips that helped me when I was cheated on in a relationship. I'm not going to say that it's easy to get over being cheated on because it's not especially if you want to stay with the person.
1. It’s Not Necessarily Over
Just because your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean that the relationship is over. You can repair your relationship. You can still have a happy and healthy relationship after your partner cheats on you. You will have to be open as to why he cheated.
2. Recognize That It’s Not Your Fault
Just because they cheated on you doesn’t mean it’s your fault. There was a choice made and you had nothing to do with it. Do not blame yourself because you didn’t make the choice to step out on the relationship. You were cheated on because it is something within your partner.
3. Accept That Forgiveness Takes Time
Please understand that after being cheated on, being able to forgive your partner takes time. They will have to understand that because of their actions, you are going to blame what they did in every argument until you are no longer hurt. The best thing is to try not to throw that situation in your partner's face.
4. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Communicate with each other. Start a conversation like, "It hurt me that x, y, and z" or "I understand that you were caught up with work and you didn't have enough time for me" or even for the person who cheated should say something like this: "I understand my role in all of this, but I would like to explain why x, y, and z happened".
You do not have to share the details of how the cheating happened or even where it happened. It is up to you and your partner if you would like to know who they cheated with especially if it is someone that you both know.
5. Work to Regain Trust
I understand that after your partner cheated, the trust is gone. There are ways that your partner can prove to you that they are now being faithful and won’t allow it to happen again.
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The last time (it was twice) my dude cheated on me I had a hard time trusting him again, and I thought I never would trust him again. He worked at night (still does work nights), and he asked what could he do to prove to me that he wasn’t going to have another emotional relationship. I told him that he wasn’t stupid and that he could figure it out (I know it wasn't the best thing to say but I did say it out of anger).
Well, he decided the only way he could prove to me was to take me to work with him since he is a janitor. At first, I didn’t understand why was he doing this since he’s never taken me to work with him before. It’s been two and a half years later and he still takes me to work with him a few nights a week, and our relationship has gotten stronger.
Try some things that could strengthen your relationship again. If you have to work late, give your partner a call (I know it sounds strange but a text isn't secure at this moment). At first, my partner used to randomly send me pictures of where he was. I knew he was trying; however, I felt that the situation was a little childish, and I didn't need pictures all day, every day. I commended him for trying, and I told him how proud of him I was for trying.
6. Let It Go
I know this is easier said then done. In order to move on you have to let go. You are going to have to put trust back into your partner in order to grow. For your relationship to move past the hurt and pain you will eventually have to let it go.
7. Start Fresh With a Clean Slate
Now that you are ready to be a couple again, start off with a clean slate as a couple. Start doing things again as a couple. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Don’t be afraid to ask to be taken out on dates again and to be wooed.
I hope my tips have helped someone.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2018 Tina Talley