How to Talk to Women When They're Mad

Updated on January 22, 2018
Silver Q profile image

Silver Q loves doing research about anything she finds interesting. She hates talking in the third person.

Talking to women when they're mad can be difficult, but it is not impossible.
Talking to women when they're mad can be difficult, but it is not impossible. | Source

There's nothing better for a relationship than a happy woman. But sometimes guys are silly and do a lot of things to keep women unhappy. Simple things such as giving the wrong answers to tricky questions can make your relationship go from perfect to get-me-out. I know, us women can also be silly, but if you know just how to handle what we say and/or do, things will be perfect!

Here are two of the most common questions and phrases women use, and the best answers to keep things from getting ugly. Shall we begin?

The "What’s Wrong?" Question With the "Nothing" Response

This is a common response to the "what's wrong" question when a woman is evidently mad. Many guys like to take the easy way out and take "nothing" at face value. And this is when things get ugly. Girl gets really mad that guy didn't take enough time to really find out what's wrong with her.

Best Answer

If your girl won't tell you what's wrong, then you should say this:

  • "Sweetie, I know I must have done something terribly wrong because I can tell you are disappointed. Please, let me know what I did so I can avoid it at all costs next time. I just can't stand to know that I am the one that is making you hurt..."

It is important to keep a straight face while saying this. Also, the tone of voice must reflect true concern and care. Otherwise, it will just sound sarcastic and the argument will get bigger and uglier.

If the answer is said with the correct voice tone and face expression, it will usually elicit an "Awww!" response, your fault will be minimized, and everything will be better than before.


Sometimes we are so mad that we don't want to tell you what you did wrong. I mean, we want to rip your head apart and jump on you like a lioness on prey, but we want you to walk in the trap first. The perfect way for you to walk in the trap is by:

  • not asking what's wrong
  • taking our answer of "nothing" at face value

When you do any of the above 2, we own you and you will wish you had not been born. However, if the suggested response is given, you disarm the trap, we feel utterly loved, and we will brag to the world about what a loving and caring husband/boyfriend we have.

"I Shouldn't Have to Tell You What to Do. You Should Know."

A scary phrase that demands psychic powers from "guy". This phrase is usually said when guy has let down "girl", either by doing or not doing. I know, confusing, but bear with me.


We are mad, really mad. Why? Because we thought you knew us well enough to know in which ways to act in different situations. The hurtful part in the scenario is that we come to the realization that you don't know us as well as we know you. What this means for us is that:

  • You haven't cared enough to get to know us
  • You don't pay attention to little, cute details of things we do
  • You don't love us enough to know us as well as you know your favorite show or game, which means you love your game (movie, show) more than you love us.

The whole reasoning behind this is: "If you had taken the time to get to know us, you would really know how I feel about ________. And you would know what to do."


We are having dinner at a restaurant and Drusila and her husband, who happen to be there, come to say hi. For the past month I have been telling you how much I hate Drusila and her stupid conversations. When the Drusila couple comes, you invite them to sit with us, or worse yet, you make plans to go out with them in the future. While Drusila is there, I will smile and pretend everything is just fine. I will even compliment her ugly blouse. At this point you start thinking that maybe I don't hate Drusila that much, so you think you made the right decision by inviting them over. They leave and hell breaks loose! And you don't know what just happened.

"If you had been listening to what I have been saying for the past month, you would know I HATE Drusila and I would never dream of going anywhere with her. You should have politely told them we were busy or do anything to get rid of them!"

You say: "But Honey, you were so kind to her, I thought you didn't hate her that much..."

"I was being NICE!! For goodness' sake, don't you ever listen?!! "

You say: "Well, next time just tell me what to do and I'll do it..."

And then the dreaded phrase makes its appearance:

"I shouldn't have to tell you what to do. You should know!"

Best Answer

"You're right honey. I promise it won't happen again. Tomorrow I will call Drusila's husband and call the plans off."

It is important that you not only apologize, but also take action to make things better. IN this case, guy offered to call the plans off. Whatever your mistake was, make sure you offer to take some sort of action that will soothe your girl. In most cases, girl will calm down after given such an affectionate response.

These are only two of the most used phrases. Stay tuned for more answers and tips on understanding women. Until then, treat your women nice and take care of them like the treasure they are! Ciao!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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    • profile image


      7 months ago

      I don't talk to people who emotional abuse me, spout nonsense, act childish, or let their emotions control them. I don't care if they're male, female, friend, acquaintance, girlfriend or spouse. I will simply leave and consider our relationship finished. Because in my view, it is. I'd much rather be alone than be with such a person.

    • profile image


      12 months ago

      Bullshit. This is a guide in how to be totally controlled by a woman. This is exactly how they want you to behave.

      The only thing to say to a woman who is being illogical, unreasonable, and overly emotional is this: I do not not allow people to talk to me in that disrespectful tone of voice. We are through. I'm leaving now and will not be contacting you in the future. There is no chance we will be getting back together. Good riddance.

      Then leave and do exactly what you said you'd do.

      Do this every time a woman pulls this shit. And if end up without a woman in your life, thank your lucky stars.

    • profile image

      Juan R Rodriguez 

      16 months ago

      Yes my wife gets upset, when I give information about the subject she is talking about. She gets up set., & says, "Why you're telling me what ? What I handle that?

    • profile image

      Trick Sneed 

      5 years ago

      The answers posted and accolades are primarily from females here makes sense. I get the part where we all have bad days but just to bear the burden of a woman that's pissed suck it up yet again to have it repeated. This sets an expected response and could become a habit and can be taken advantage of by the sucker guy. I know because I've done it still do. Yes to make peace but it's difficult because the anger is unwarranted and one can feel like the doormat. You make no mention of the girl expressing thanks or even acknowledgement for recognizing it just an expectation that's how it is. Trust me over time it will be expected and being a nice guy translates to a sucker.

      I absolutely agree that the compassion and putting her first is key but I have felt taken advantage of merely for being cool and trying to comfort . Gets old like crying wolf.

    • Silver Q profile imageAUTHOR

      Silver Q 

      7 years ago

      Hi Steffer,

      Yeah, we can be a bit difficult to deal with sometimes, and sometimes we make our men feel miserable. But once you find how to deal with us, things become a bit easier. Sorry! I hope this hub gave you a little bit of an insight as to how the female mind works....

    • steffer profile image

      Stef Verheyen 

      7 years ago from Belgium (Europe)

      so true, yet still so difficult to understand sometimes, when my wife is upset, because of me or anything else, i ask, what's wrong, why you crying, etc.. she always says; i don't want to talk about it, and when she's mad at me, she walks away and goes to sleep, when i truly want to know what's wrong, it's kinda frustrating.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      great! i also used to comfort them sometimes through jokes.. i like your hub, you did great :)

    • Silver Q profile imageAUTHOR

      Silver Q 

      7 years ago

      Thank you April Holland!

      I will try to keep writing more on this subject so men can understand us a bit more.

    • Silver Q profile imageAUTHOR

      Silver Q 

      7 years ago

      Thank you very much, WhydThatHappen!

      I'm glad you enjoyed it!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Funny article- you write good reads!

    • april holland profile image

      April Savage 

      8 years ago from Florida

      So true! Good article, you should write another one. Wait a will take you years to write them though, so at least you know it will keep you busy!!! LOL!


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