Getting Revenge on a Narcissist

Updated on July 4, 2017

We often see videos about how to get revenge on a narcissist, or how to manipulate narcissists and things of that nature. It's easy to understand why this would be a popular topic, but it's counterproductive to healing. It's completely understandable for someone to want revenge on a narcissist. The things they do to people are unforgivable. Their behavior is abominable, often criminal and always terrible. But... what does revenge get you? It may or may not make you feel better but either way, now you're no better than they are. Narcissists are the ones consumed with revenge. They want revenge on everybody — the whole world, if they can get it. So if you are consumed with revenge, what does that make you?

There is no need to lower yourself to their level. Do they deserve it? Yes. Does that make it right? No. It doesn't. This isn't about the narcissist. It's about you. Don't let these people destroy who you are. It's not worth it. They are not worth it. It will do nothing in the end but hurt you and damage your self-respect. It makes you into exactly what they said you are. Nothing is worth that. The best way to get revenge on a narcissist is to move on and forget them. That is the cruelest thing you can do to them, and it's the best thing for you. Revenge is not justice. Justice is justice, and justice is you walking away into a brighter future and a better life while they stay trapped in their own horrible minds, consumed with the fear, paranoia, greed, envy and rage that is the entirety of what they are.

The narcissist's motto is "Get hurt, get even." That is one the main driving forces behind all of their terrible behavior. Getting into a revenge war with a narcissist is trapping yourself into a cycle that will never end. Narcissists do not know when to quit and they will never back off. The only way to win this game is not to play. You cannot win any other way. If you ever do score a victory against the narcissist, they will only redouble their efforts to destroy you. It's pointless and it'll never end. The point is to get away from that endless cycle.

And don't worry, narcissists are not getting away with anything. They are receiving more terrible punishments from their own mind and their own lives than you could ever give them, and it is nonstop 24 hours a day - especially if their victims succeed in moving on and not looking back. They get no relief from it, any more than you ever got from their abuse. They deserve your pity, not your hatred. These are pathetic, weak people trapped in a nightmare they can never wake up from, whose only defense is to make up some kindergarten fantasy world where they're somebody else. They spend their entire lives playing pretend and trying to convince other people it's real. So don't lose yourself. Don't lower yourself. It's not worth it, and they need no further punishment from you. Destroying their own lives over and over again with no understanding that it doesn't actually have to happen is punishment enough.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      A nony mouse 

      4 weeks ago

      What I forgot to add, is that many people who have had a relationship with a narcissist fail to realize the best way is to go no communication. Have been in this position myself and so has a friend of mine, both of our husbands were so bad that they are no longer allowed to see their own children by the courts. My friend has a facebook page on which she posts details of her life and pictures of the kids under her name. Knowledge is power, she is letting her ex know exactly what his kids look like doing this and is actually putting them at risk.

      My ex has a facebook page and it is pretty obvious that he uses it as a shop window to boast about his new life to ex-wife number 2. Little does he know that ex-wife number 1 looks at it and has a jolly good laugh that things did not exactly work out wife number 2 whom he boasted about being so wonderful whilest we were in the process of divorcing. Hilarious really, but seriously, we both deserved better than him. The only sad thing is that he goes to salsa classes on the look out for wife number 3, I pity the poor woman who winds up with him.

    • profile image

      Joe 

      4 months ago

      So many of these articles take the cliched route in responding to abuse. It's bypassing, but I understand it feels good. One aspect is acknowledged - healing - which is important but dealing with this like a serious problem that is a global epidemic is the better route I think.

    • profile image

      A nony Mouse 

      4 months ago

      Trying to get revenge will not work, it just validates their bad behaviour in their eyes. Just get the hell out while you can!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, pairedlife.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://pairedlife.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)