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Do You Believe the Saying "Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?

do-you-believe-that-once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater

Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?

Is the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" really true? It really depends on why the cheating occurred. Some types of cheating are much easier to resolve than others. Cheaters excuse themselves by saying that they do not get what they need at home or in their relationships, or that they only find what they want in other people. Although in monogamous relationships commitment means no playing around, sometimes the inevitable happens — cheating.

There are two types of cheaters. Some people cheat once, feel absolutely awful and remorseful about it and would never consider it again once they realize the mental anguish wasn’t worth few minutes of pleasure. The second type is “the serial cheaters.” Infidelity can occur at any time in a relationship, with problems in the relationship being the main reason people cheat. However, it’s not always a sign that something is wrong in a relationship. Cheating is a decision that can have an extremely negative impact on the lives of many.

What Makes Someone Cheat?

Regardless of the unique circumstances, there is always a reason why a person cheats, and it always has to do with a primary feeling. Cheating is done by both good people and people who will always hurt others. Again, cheating always comes from a place of unhappiness within the relationship, whether that unhappiness stems from within the relationship, or within oneself.

This unhappiness isn’t picky and can manifest in both good and ill-intentioned people without them realizing how bad it has become till they’ve cheated. The main causes of cheating include anger and resentment. In a relationships with a history of stored up resentment and hostilities which lie dormant and underground, the purpose of the affair coalesces into a grand finale in the form of a pay-back affair where the intent is to injure and hurt the self-esteem of the betrayed partner.

People begin relationships with the best of intentions, but it’s often not until deep into the relationship that people realize they have major emotional needs which are not getting met. For many women it may be emotional neglect. For many men it may be sexual neglect. With that need is not being addressed they become vulnerable and it becomes very easy for someone else to come along and steal his/her heart. This is not validation or an excuse, but this is an explanation.

There are unfaithful partners who are not willing to take responsibility for their dissatisfaction in the marriage by doing something proactive about it. Instead, they live on a precarious edge where they feel both emboldened and justified to engage in the affair ‘in hopes' that the infidelity will be found out and usher in the separation or divorce they want to happen. Some have no time for their spouse. The problem is that they live in a state of perpetual disconnect. They become individuals living under the same roof, not passionate lovers, and the thought of existing this way the rest of their lives especially if they're over 40 scares the hell out of the one who feel abandoned, making him/her a prime candidate for an affair.

Causes of Cheating Have to Be Discussed

Once they cheat on you, they’ll cheat on you again, if what caused the cheating in the first place is not addressed. The best choice is to address the issue or to accept that maybe the relationship needs to end. When it comes to infidelity, what factors can cause your spouse to cheat?

Cheating is caused by a host of factors. It’s important to identify the underlying cause. Was it due to problems in your relationship, the need for excitement and novelty, a moment of weakness? In other words, the cheater ought to know with specificity what motivated him to step out of his relationship and into the metaphoric bed of someone else.

Why a person cheats, after all, may tell you something about whether he or she will cheat again. In some situations the cheater doesn’t actually want the relationship to end but they are looking to fill a void. In the minds of some it is just passing phase but many get caught up and the cheating just continues.

After you identify why the cheating occurred, couples need to make changes so that it doesn’t happen again. If your partner cheats because of problems in your relationship, then it helps to work on strengthening your relationship. Some people cheat once, learn their lesson and never cheat again. Others will continue to cheat long into their old age.

How Did You Contribute to Being Cheated On?

It’s also important to understand why the cheater cheated. A partner should look at how they may have contributed to being cheated. Also I know many don’t want to hear this but when you are the one that has been cheated on just be mindful that you might have contributed one way or the other.

Did you ignore the fact that you knew this person wasn’t best for you? Did you ask yourself this question: What’s their cheating history? Did you ignore the fact that you neglected them emotionally or sexually? To only focus on their offense will likely encourage the negative cycle to continue. It does not excuse the cheater in any way but we should all be mindful of our own actions.

Some people always find themselves being cheated on and one of those reasons is because they refuse to evaluate themselves when these situations occur. The choice is still on the cheater but there are lessons to be learned for both parties involved.

A wife cheated. Why did she cheat? It turned out that her marriage was a deeply unhappy one, and she was emotionally and physically abused. Her husband would emotionally abandon her, choke her, call her names and lied to her. Was she right to cheat? No. But can you blame her for wanting something better with someone else, and feeling like she mattered when another man was able to shower her with affection? No.

Try to Analyze Reasons for Cheating

All behavior is purposeful and people don't do anything without a reason for doing it. Your task is to ask the right questions about the situation to arrive at your own truth about keeping yourself safe in a relationship with someone who has betrayed you. If someone feels remorseful for cheating, can figure out the exact cause of that unhappiness and grow from that, they will not cheat again.

However, if someone has no remorse, cannot or does not want to figure out the exact cause of dissatisfaction in the relationship, and is unwilling to do the uncomfortable work to truly question why they are so, they will cheat again. Change is possible, but difficult. It requires a lot of insight and effort. Without a strong commitment to change, people often make the same mistake again. I just want people to understand that not all cheating is the same.

So How Do You Know Whether a Former Cheater Is Trustworthy?

Talk to your partner about the infidelity and see how he or she reacts. If your partner brushes it off and acts like you have no right to be concerned about it, you may have reason to worry. That’s a sign that your partner doesn’t really value faithfulness. But if your partner comes clean about what happened, acknowledges that it was a terrible mistake, and seems genuinely remorseful, and then you know that he or she takes cheating as seriously as you do. Then you have good reason to trust again.

A true serial cheater will often see nothing wrong with being unfaithful. The problem with giving second chances to this type of person: Once you forgive bad behavior, you effectively condone it.

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater

Some people believe that a leopard does not change its spot, which literally means that once a cheater, always a cheater. Yes there are plenty of serial cheaters –individuals who never take any relationship serious. They simply want somebody at their convenience and will always look to add more partners that are willing to provide the benefits they desire.

In many cases, a woman sniffs out the unrepentant cheater but she will ignore the instinct. She will neglect her intuition and still act surprised when the truth is revealed. A man on the other hand doesn’t detect a serial cheater easily. Yet some will see the signs or may even have their friends screaming the truth in their ear, but the man chooses to ignore it. With the serial cheater there is nothing anyone can do about their willingness to cheat.

A Cheater Isn't Always a Cheater

Cheaters who experienced a serious consequence can learn from their mistakes. If a cheater cheats but ultimately gets away with it without any long-term consequence, why wouldn’t he cheat again? If they’ve cheated on every person they’ve ever been out with and been forgiven for doing so, why should they stop?

For the vast majority of men and women, sexual monogamy is the expectation and highest priority. When someone is unfaithful, the cheater will usually only change if their partner either breaks up with them or takes at least a month-long break from the relationship, thereby creating some very regretful results. Following a breakup or relationship hiatus, the cheater is forced to sit with all of his feelings: guilt, self-admonishment, embarrassment, and sadness.

It is precisely the experience of having to sit with those feelings – as opposed to going back to normal – that forces the cheater to take a hard, honest look at his behavior and to realize its cost. From there some realize the mistake and don’t try to cross it again.

If you want to change any behavior, you must first determine why that behavior occurred. If a cheater is not forced to deal with his cheating, he will never deal with the underlying reasons that made him cheat in the first place. Some people cheat, and feel a lot of remorse.

Until someone finds true love, he might not be able to quit cheating. When he/she does, he/she will stop being a liar and cheater. Cheating is not fun; it’s an anxiety inducing and stupid activity. When he/she is truly in love he’ll just have no desire to be with anyone else.

A mature person doesn’t cheat. Often people cheat when they are younger and immature, either not understanding how devastating that feels to be the betrayed person, or not having yet experienced a relationship that makes them see how hurtful and irreversible those terrible feelings can be.

As they grow older, a lot of those people find the risk outweighs the benefits, particularly if they are caught and come to see that there are more important things in life than their selfish desires in a given moment, and learn to make better choices. Many, if not most involved in affairs also find out that their outside lover is also just a person with shortcomings and limitations like their spouse, which really takes the bloom off the rose.

Conclusion

If you’ve been cheated on once, it’s very hard to regain the depth of trust you once had and stop suspecting, no matter how sincerely repentant the cheater is. But that doesn’t mean that cheaters can’t change their ways. There are countless stories of people who have completely and genuinely changed their life. The serial cheater can mature and eventually cherish your relationship.

The casual cheater can accept a mistake was made and if the issue is properly address never cross that line again. So a cheater isn’t always a cheater. So, "Once a cheater always a cheater" is usually a defense mechanism used by those who have been cheated and it too has a purpose: To protect the person betrayed from getting hurt by never trusting anyone again. Don't adopt that conclusion, instead, get smart by understanding what drives someone to betray and work on your relationship.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

Question: How do I check my husband's phone? He always locks it.

Answer: Don't bother to check your husband's phone. If something is wrong with your relationship, it will show in his behavior. Marriage needs some element of trust.

Question: Do you forgive a cheater?

Answer: Yes. You can forgive a repented cheater, but you have to be sure he has truly repented.

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Martin 106 on April 26, 2020:

allen serah

I saw the phone number at a very good time I needed it. My friend had tried someone before bit didn't work out with hacking , I didn't know he did , but when I tried it with Hackwatch107 AT GMAIL DOT COM and it worked , I narrated my own story to him that's when I learned that he had tried and failed with some sort of random hackers.

Martin 106 on April 26, 2020:

I was able to read all the messages she has been sending and also check her snap and saw her and a guy when they went Clubing, and when they were also having fun and all i read there text also when she told the guy to come over to the house so they could spend the night together after seeing all this i was fucked but Hackwatch107 via gmail. com did a very smart job for me thank you.

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People

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Hello

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I saw this mail on here HACKWATCH107AT GMAIL DOT COM

This man got me the password to all his social media

Martin 106 on April 26, 2020:

Hello

Have been trying to figure out how I can use my husbands social media because he his always busy chatting on social media

He does this everyday and am curious to know who he chats with

I saw this mail on here HACKWATCH 107AT GMAIL DOT COM

This man got me the password to all his social media

Martin 106 on April 26, 2020:

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Anthony Modungwo (author) from Benin on April 21, 2020:

Hacking someone's else account is criminal so don't patronize him.

Matip 102 on April 21, 2020:

I saw the phone number at a very good time I needed it. My friend had tried someone before bit didn't work out with hacking , I didn't know he did , but when I tried it with Hackwatch107 AT GMAIL DOT COM and it worked , I narrated my own story to him that's when I learned that he had tried and failed with some sort of random hackers.

Anthony Modungwo (author) from Benin on April 19, 2020:

Don't patronize a fraudster.

Sebastian Chloe on April 18, 2020:

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Anthony Modungwo (author) from Benin on June 27, 2019:

Hacking into people's account is a crime that should not be advertised.

Arianapalm on May 19, 2019:

Worldhackers79 gmail is the best that can help you hack into your target's phone remotely.

Mackenziea on May 06, 2019:

hi guys,

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Chanelle tresidder45 on January 19, 2019:

Hello

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He does this everyday and am curious to know who he chats with

I saw this mail on here HACKIVISTS AT GMAIL DOT COM

This man got me the password to all his social media

Chloe Aiden on November 20, 2018:

Hello

Have been trying to figure out how I can use my husbands social media because he his always busy chatting on social media

He does this everyday and am curious to know who he chats with

I saw this mail on here HACKNET200 AT GMAIL DOT COM

This man got me the password to all his social media

Hazel Ryan on November 16, 2018:

People

in long distance relationships are like the kid in your class who does the extra hard math problems at the end of each section just for fun. Or the person who wakes up at 4AM to run 16 miles every day, up a mountain in the rain. They're doing what most of us do, except they're making it a thousand times harder than it needs to be. Relationships are often confusing, brain-hurting messes of enigmas, even without 5000 miles in between you and your significant other. Add distance in and hoo boy, are you in for a bumpy ride.

I will recommend Hacknet 200 @ Gmail dot com to help you

Anthony Modungwo (author) from Benin on November 15, 2018:

Don't deal with spillcasters. Things artificail have short life span.

Stella Mateo on November 13, 2018:

People

in long distance relationships are like the kid in your class who does the extra hard math problems at the end of each section just for fun. Or the person who wakes up at 4AM to run 16 miles every day, up a mountain in the rain. They're doing what most of us do, except they're making it a thousand times harder than it needs to be. Relationships are often confusing, brain-hurting messes of enigmas, even without 5000 miles in between you and your significant other. Add distance in and hoo boy, are you in for a bumpy ride.

I will recommend Hacknet 200 @ Gmail dot com to help you

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Shelley Forman on November 05, 2018:

I was able to read all the messages she has been sending and also check her snap and saw her and a guy when they went Clubing, and when they were also having fun and all i read there text also when she told the guy to come over to the house so they could spend the night together after seeing all this i was fucked but Charliehacktivist via gmail. com did a very smart job for me thank you.

Hannah Anthony on November 04, 2018:

Why not reach out to Hacknet200 VIA GMALE, she is indeed incredible I got my cheating husband messages and mails, which made me know he was about to sell off out restaurants because of a lady he met online. I’m so much grateful

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Nora Owen on November 01, 2018:

I was able to read all the messages she has been sending and also check her snap and saw her and a guy when they went Clubing, and when they were also having fun and all i read there text also when she told the guy to come over to the house so they could spend the night together after seeing all this i was fucked but Hacknet200 via gmail. com did a very smart job for me thank you.

Riley Jayden on November 01, 2018:

I can guarantee Hacknet200 AT GMAIL DOT COM when it comes to hacking and device this team actually helped me hack In to my friend phone just to see if she

has an affair with my BF.i was able to read all her call conversation and text messages.. I can also contact the email above if u need same help.. They are reliable

Harper Lucas on October 26, 2018:

allen serah

I saw the phone number at a very good time I needed it. My friend had tried someone before bit didn't work out with hacking , I didn't know he did , but when I tried it with Hacknet200 AT GMAIL DOT COM and it worked , I narrated my own story to him that's when I learned that he had tried and failed with some sort of random hackers.

Madison Aiden on October 26, 2018:

I saw the phone number at a very good time I needed it. My friend had tried someone before bit didn't work out with hacking , I didn't know he did , but when I tried it with Hacknet200 AT GMAIL DOT COM and it worked , I narrated my own story to him that's when I learned that he had tried and failed with some sort of random hackers.

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Keyhole098 on October 23, 2018:

attention please be careful i have been scam by so many hackers but when i met this special hacker he did all i wanted for me he is so good seriously he is the b est when it comes to hacking he has helped me hack my spouse phone who was cheating seriously he is the best he is CHARLIEHACKTIVIST at g mail dot com try him and thank me later...

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Ava williams on October 21, 2018:

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Huth Morgan on October 20, 2018:

Is the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" really true? It really depends on why the cheating occurred. Some types of cheating are much easier to resolve than others. Cheaters excuse themselves by saying that they do not get what they need at home or in their relationships, or that they only find what they want in other people.

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