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A Man Can Be in Love With More than One Woman at the Same Time

Updated on October 31, 2016

That’s right. I know what you are thinking. That a man; to be involved with more than one woman is completely selfish and incomprehensible and that men are simply greedy lustful losers with no consideration for the feelings of their female counterparts. While that argument may sound logical, it is completely false. A man who falls in love with more than one woman has an enormous heart. The possibility of being in love with more than one woman comes from the fact that no two people are identical. Some people are good listeners; others are great cooks, while others have strong supportive personalities. If you have all this in one woman, you have no reason to look elsewhere. But not everyone is lucky, and that is the reason for this article.

And for the record, am not talking about those stories about lust or how a man can love his mum, sister, daughter and grandma all at ounce. I mean real love. Love filled with passion, romance, trust, selflessness and vulnerability. A kind of love a man can only feel for a stranger; an attractive woman he meets along his path as he grows.

A friend recently told me that when a man in a relationship finds himself in love with another woman, he is falling into the trap of emotional infidelity. That a man can only love and share his life, trust and vulnerabilities with only one woman. In other words it is possible that he may no longer be in love with his first woman or that there may be a problem with the relationship and he is being pushed towards cheating. Well, that is his opinion and if you feel the same, it is no crime. But this can only be cheating or emotional infidelity (or whichever other word fits your description) under specific circumstances. For example; a man in a relationship can find himself attracted to another woman for whatever reason. He can choose to allow these feelings to mature into love. How he decides to deal with this new found love is what will constitute the concept of cheating.

Any average man( out of love for his woman) will imagine that the best thing to do is to keep this new found love as far from his woman as possible. This is usually in attempt to protect her from possible heartbreak. This is the biggest mistake because the new found love becomes a secret affair, which requires numerous lies to both women in order to thrive. This inevitably becomes cheating. People often wonder why married people cheat rather than ending one relationship before entering another. One reason is that the cheating partner still loves his/her mate and doesn’t want to lose them, although he has found new love. It is true that there are a million other reasons why people cheat, but this one counts too although it is often overlooked. Matter of fact it is not even given the opportunity to be a possibility.

How should a man deal with the new love?

True love thrives on truth, trust and communication. So as crazy as it may sound, the right thing to do is to disclose your new love to your woman. Tell her the truth because if you don’t, you will without a doubt be branded a cheating, self-centered son of a b*#!ch with no morals. Not just by her, but the whole world including men (read hypocrites).

Calmly tell her that you are in love with this new belle and you can’t keep her off your mind. Choose the moment to break the news with care. Explain your reasons truthfully and avoid sounding lustful (unless you are), and remind her that you still love her as much if it is the truth. If you honestly don’t love her any more, don’t waste her time with useless lies. Allow her the opportunity to give her honest opinion in the matter. The reason you should be doing this is because she is your first love and you value her and her opinion and decision thereafter. If your reasons are genuine, she is likely to listen and respond reasonably. If by the end of the discussion you find that there is room for a third person without destabilizing the harmony at home, then you can go ahead with your new love. This is not cheating. If she however is in disagreement with your proposal, then it is time to re-evaluate the situation and set your priorities right. If you go ahead to keep your new love (secret affair) despite the objection, you are a cheat and probably deserve every name that is used to describe men with similar traits. If you feel you love your woman so much that you are unable to reveal to her about your new catch, you are probably afraid of losing her. So don’t let that attraction you feel for the other girls grow into anything tangible. In other words you are only built for exclusive love. Stick with that.

It is common knowledge that romantic relationships are filled with all sorts of drama and stress factors that come from two strangers meeting and forging life on the basis of attraction and love thereafter. A man who falls in love with more than one woman has an enormous heart. A heart so big, that no meaningful words can describe. To think of this man as selfish is to misrepresent the meaning of the word. He willingly (and sometimes unconditionally) gives himself up to share his life with more than one strange woman. He volunteers valuable resources such as time and money so as to look after each of these demanding women. Without hesitation, he listens and offers a shoulder to lean on when need arises. His big heart has room for all the drama that comes with relationships and their demands. Yet he never yields. And on those very few occasions when he yields, he is confronted with bitter judgmental mindsets rather than the eulogy he deserves. Instead they accuse him of attempting to bite more than he can swallow.

Can a Woman be in love with more than one Man?

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    • profile image

      Ella 2 months ago

      Women can love more than one man as well. I don't think men should say what women can do and what they can't. It's ridiculous as you are not a woman, so you can't say women are better off loving one man. You say it only because you don't want to share your girls but except them to share you. Women are able to love many men as well. It's a fact, not everyone is the same, some women may want to commit to one but some genuinely can't stay with only one

    • Maria Cecilia profile image

      Maria Cecilia 4 months ago from Philippines

      when I was younger it was always 2 men, not that I played around but in a group of friends I always like 2 among the group. Funny this is very encouraging for women in love with a married man or committed though not yet married. but based on what I know, one one man out five chose the new found love over the original.

    • profile image

      biglove 15 months ago

      I am a man that has been in love with multiple women. I am married and, even beforemy wife and I began dating over 10yrs ago, I was honest at the beginning of our new relationship. I was upfront about my desires of having multiple loves in my life and to share that relationship openly with my, eventual, wife. This has allowed us to maintain one of the strongest and best relationships with another person that I have ever had. We share an openess that I had never fully truly known previously and even before I begin a new relationship with a partner I discuss it openly with my wife. Sometimes she likes to be involved and recently we had a 2yr relationship where we all shared our home and our lives together. This doesn't mean we never had problems and occasionally jealousy came up between my partners (usually because one or the other wanted sex and walked in on activities) but those feelings quickly evaporated as we all continued to be open and honest with each other. In moments of jealousy we would talk it through and we made sure that we all gave each other the private space needed and we developed a way to manage our relationships that didn't require us to hide it from the community or our friends. The complete openess actually brought our friends closer to us and, even our devout religious friends, accepted our relationship as something pure from love and we were not judged like we initially feared may happen. I never wanted to be a man that was seen as a cheater or many of the other words that are said. I truly believe that honesty and trust are the keys to any and all relationships. My wife and I have been together now for over 10yrs and we only recently ended our last relationship because she wasn't ready for children but my wife and I are. So I guess what I'm saying is that the author of this article is very right. Any person can love more than one person and to have a heart that is capable of such capacity is a wonderful thing. However, to have a partner, or partners, who can also share in that capacity is a truly blessed experience and my love for my wife has only grown stronger because of what we've shared for, and with, each other.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 15 months ago

      I don't believe it's possible to truly be "in love" with more than one person.

      The reality is if you were "in love" with the (first person) you wouldn't make the time to date and get to know the (second person) in a romantic sense.

      You'd be too busy planning romantic getaways, buying cards & gifts "just because" and looking forward to building a life together.

      On the other hand I do believe it's possible to love/care about more than one person. However that's a big difference from being "in love".

    • Rae-LeighDawn profile image

      Rae-LeighDawn 2 years ago

      Women can be in love with two men at the same time as well. I think women are more scared of men than men are of women

    • ian 12am profile image

      ian 12am 3 years ago

      Women tend to relate differently when it comes to Love. They require a deep emotional attachment in order to be able to open up and express themselves freely. Unlike Men, women love more with the heart and less with the mind. They are thus better off loving one man twice as much. This is true because they are unlikely to remain balanced and rational if they were to lead a polygamous relationship. If one however feels she can manage, the only way to do it without cheating is by letting her man know about her second love. If he agrees, then it's a go.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      What about women with big hearts - do they just get to love one man twice as much or can they also love two men and just take the best parts of each? LOL