What Can Men Do if They're in Love With More Than One Woman at the Same Time
I know what you are thinking. For a man to be involved with more than one woman at the same time, he must be utterly selfish. Men who do such a thing must be greedy, lustful losers with no consideration for the feelings of their female counterparts, right?
Such arguments are completely false. Simply because a man falls in love with more than one woman, does not mean he has a black heart. It is possible for men to be in love with more than one woman at the same time, because no two women are the same.
Some are good listeners, others are great cooks, and some have strong supportive personalities. If a man finds all of these traits in one woman, he has no reason to look elsewhere. Not everyone is this lucky, though.
A friend recently told me that when a man in a relationship finds himself in love with another woman, he is falling into a trap of emotional infidelity. To him, a man can only love and share his life with one woman. He believes a man is no longer in love with his girlfriend or wife, or that there may be a problem with their relationship, if he is beginning to fall for another woman.
But this can only be true if the man tries to hide his feelings. How he decides to deal with his newfound love is what will constitute the concept of cheating.
How does a man go about loving multiple women at the same time?
Most men believe the best thing to do is to keep their newfound love as far away as possible from their girlfriend or wife.
This is usually in an attempt to protect her from heartbreak, but it is a huge mistake. When a man does this, the newfound love becomes a secret affair, and secrets require one to lie–or to tell only part of the truth, instead of the whole truth–in order to stay secret. This can be legitimately considered cheating.
Many wonder why married people cheat rather than simply ending the relationship. This can be explained by the fact that the cheating partner still loves their mate, and, although they have found a new love, doesn’t want to lose them.
So how does a man go about loving multiple women at the same time without being considered a cheater?
Love thrives on truth, trust, and communication. As crazy as it may sound, the right thing for a man to do is to disclose his new love to his mate. If he doesn't tell her the truth, he will doubtless be branded a cheating, self-centered jerk with no morals–not just by her, but by other men, as well.
The man should tell his partner that he is in love with a new woman who's constantly on his mind. He should choose the moment to break the news with care.
When he does, he should explain his reasons without sounding lusty. The next step is for him to reiterate that his love for her has not been diminished by the new woman. If he doesn’t love her any more, he shouldn't waste her time. He must end the relationship right then and there.
A man should allow his mate the opportunity to give him her honest opinion on the matter. She is his first love, and he should value her opinion and her ultimate decision. If he has been genuine and honest, she is likely to listen and respond in kind.
If, by the end of the discussion, he finds there is room for a third person without destabilizing your domestic harmony, then he can go ahead with his new love. This cannot be considered cheating.
Setting the Right Priorities
However, if she is in disagreement with his proposal, it is time for him to reevaluate the situation and set his priorities straight.
If he decides to continue his liaison with his new love, despite the objection, he is a cheat and probably deserves every bad name and insult which will inevitably be flung at him.
If he loves her so much he is unable to fess up to his extracurricular activities, he is probably afraid of losing her and should give it up. This is an indication that he is only built for exclusive love. He should stick with that.
Romantic Relationships Come With Drama
It is common knowledge that romantic relationships come with no shortage of drama and stress.
Therefore, a man who falls in love with more than one woman has an enormous heart. To think of a man who keeps up meaningful relationships with multiple women as selfish is to misrepresent the meaning of the word.
He willingly gives himself up to more than one woman, and volunteers valuable resources such as time and money to look after each of these women.
Without hesitation, he listens and offers a shoulder to lean on, and his big heart has room for all the drama that comes with relationships. He never yields, and on those very few occasions he does, he is confronted with insults rather than the tribute he deserves.
Questions & Answers
He says he’s in love with me and also his wife. How can I tell he means his devotion to both me and his wife?
How he treats you can give you a clue.
If he respects you, makes you feel important and treats you like a lady, then he probably loves you.
If he is protective of his wife and does not allow you to say demeaning things about her ( including silly jokes) then he probably loves you both and he means it.Helpful 134
I am in love with a guy that has a girlfriend and I think he loves me too. I have tried to leave so many times, but my heart won't let me. He worries about her but he says he loves me. My heart starts to pound when I am not with him because I am worried someone will take him away. I get sleepless nights worrying that at the end he'll leave me for her. We spend so much time together and she's far away. I don't know what to do, how do I make this feeling stop? Do I let myself let him go?
It appears you are deeply in love with this guy. Thankfully he says he loves you too. I wouldn't advise you to leave him if he makes you happy.
You haven't stated whether he loves the girlfriend as well, possibly because you aren't sure about it.
It's normal to get worried about someone taking him away from you. But in my opinion, being too worried will not help much.
If he wants to be with you, he will choose you over her. If he doesn't, there isn't much you can do about it.
My suggestion is that you maximize enjoying the time you spend with him. His girlfriend is far away and that should be to your advantage. Be happy to have him around. Make him feel comfortable and happy being around you. Engage in fun activities and enjoy the moments. That will help him want to be with you more, and possibly choose you.
Try to avoid being clingy and needy as this is a turnoff and will push him away. It's not advisable to give him an ultimatum about his girlfriend, because you'll put unnecessary pressure on your relationship. Try not to think about what he's doing when you aren't together, because it will get you even more worried.
However, you can encourage him to break up with his girlfriend if he is no longer in love with her. Let him know that you want to show him lots of love without sharing him.
If he is still in love with her, he should say it to you clearly. This will help you decide if you are willing to stay and share him.Helpful 112
How can one deal with a man who loves multiple women?
It can hurt to discover that your man loves another woman. There is no straightforward answer on how to deal with the man in this situation.
But what you can do depends on your values as a person and your expectations from the relationship. If you are getting everything else you want from the relationship apart from exclusivity, then you have to decide which is more important to you. For example, if he provides for you and spends quality time with you without even bringing up the other woman, then you can decide to turn a blind eye on the other woman, and concentrate on your own relationship.
It's easy to consider getting yourself into an affair with another man, as a way of getting even. To be honest, I wouldn't blame you if you did. After all, if he can cheat, then so can you. This is where your values come in. Are you ready to manage the stress that comes with having multiple partners? Will you be able to have enough time and attention for both men and your self?
Think about Sexually transmitted infections. For this point, you must confront him especially if you have proof that he has other women.
If on the other hand if he doesn't care about you that much anymore, and you feel he's no longer worth your time, you can consider leaving him and find someone who can make you happy and be yours exclusively.Helpful 81
How can a man deal with his wife and his girlfriend at the same time if is it love for both?
Let's start from here: Is it love for both? The best person to answer this question is the man in such a situation.
It can be love for both, but only you can tell what you really feel for each of them.
Does the Girlfriend know that you have a wife? If yes, what does she think about it?
Is she willing to keep away from your wife and respect your marriage? Does your wife know that you have a girlfriend? What does she think about it?
Answering those questions can help you a great deal in determining how to deal with them. If either of them is hurt by the situation, you have to try and listen to their side and understand, if they feel like they can't continue with the relationship. At this point, you may have to decide whether you are ready to let them go in favor of the other.
If neither of them knows about the other, you are in a tricky situation, because sooner or later the truth will be out, and you may lose both of them.
My suggestion is this. A man in such a situation must inform the girlfriend about his wife from the start. If she is not willing to be the 'other woman', she'll try elsewhere. If he is in a community that accepts polygamy, he could marry both of them.Helpful 71
I am in love with a man who already has a wife. Is it true love?
In my opinion, the only person who can determine if what you feel for him is true love, is yourself.
Does he make you feel like he loves you back? Does his wife know about your relationship with his husband? Are you willing to share him?
Those are some of the questions you need to ask yourself, before you can decide the way forward.Helpful 31
© 2014 Ian Batanda