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What Are Some Signs You Can't Trust Someone?
Trust is an important foundation for a good relationship. Often people lack trust because of negative experiences when someone close in their life breaks their trust. Aside from past experiences, however, a lack of trust in some people is justified.
Having an untrustworthy partner can be very painful and can diminish your self-confidence. That's why it's best to recognize in time that someone can't be trusted, saving yourself a lot of pain and frustration. Here are some signs to look out for:
9 Important Signs You Shouldn't Trust Your Partner
- They Have Already Cheated on You or in Previous Relationships
- They Frequently Seem Distant and Spacey
- They Change or Cancel Plans at the Last Minute
- They Spend a Lot of Time on Their Phone
- They Avoid Certain Places or People With Great Effort
- They Don't Want You to Meet Their Friends
- You Found Out They Have More Than One Phone
- They Overreact When You Ask Them Questions
- You Have Been Told by Your Own Close Friends That They Are Cheating on You
1. They Have Already Cheated on You or in Previous Relationships
The famous saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is true more often than not. People who are not able to control themselves and end up cheating usually remain that way in every relationship. And if you think it's easy to change a cheater, you are probably wasting your time and energy.
2. They Frequently Seem Distant and Spacey
When your partner is distant and lost in thought it means their thoughts are occupied with something they don't want to share with you. Of course, that doesn't necessarily mean they are cheating on you; they may just be hiding some kind of important problem from you that they don't want to share for some reason. However, being always distant and unwilling to talk about problems is not good for any relationship, and you shouldn't be ok with such behavior from your partner.
3. They Change or Cancel Plans at the Last Minute
If your partner often changes plans, it means they have to adapt their schedule to some events that occur unexpectedly. A person who changes plans could just be an indecisive person about what they want to do with their time (not necessarily cheating), but it's also often a sign they have alternative plans with someone else on the side.
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4. They Spend a Lot of Time on Their Phone
Not everyone who is a "phone addict" and spends a lot of time chatting\texting is a cheater, but that behavior indicates they give a lot of time to people apart from their partner. Some people are just naturally more social and spend more time online and on social media, but if your partner would rather spend time on social media than with you, it can be a big sign they can't be trusted.
5. They Avoid Certain Places or People With Great Effort
Has your partner been stubborn about not going to certain places and meeting with certain people? This can be caused by many things. Your partner may honestly not like some places or people. But often, they do this because they are hiding something from you and they don’t want to be seen with you, by some people or in some places.
6. They Don’t Want You to Meet Their Friends
There could be a few reasons why your partner doesn't want you to meet their friends. The reason may be that they are too afraid/jealous to introduce you to someone of the opposite gender. Sometimes the reason is that they are afraid your friends will reveal something they are trying to hide from you.
7. You Found Out They Have More Than One Phone
Having more than one phone doesn't necessarily mean someone is cheating. It may be that the person's job requires them to have more than one phone; however, if that is the case, they should have no reason to hide that from you. Having another phone that you don't know about is a huge red flag.
8. They Overreact When You Ask Them Questions
Is your partner overly defensive when you ask them questions? Often people get overly defensive when they feel guilty about something. Of course, repetitive questions can be annoying and cause someone to react with anger and irritation, but if your partner overreacts to a simple non-accusatory question with defensiveness, it can be a sign they feel guilty about something.
9. You Have Been Told by Your Own Close Friends That They Are Cheating on You
Of course, you shouldn't immediately trust someone when they tell you your partner is cheating on you, but when your close friends (that you trust) tell you that, you need to be careful. If your close friends, who have had good intentions for you your whole life, try to warn you about your partner, they usually mean well. That doesn't mean you should jump to conclusions immediately, but take their word into consideration.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Questions & Answers
Question: I once caught my wife staring at another guy, why?
Answer: Don't jump to quick conclusions, but take a note of that. Men in most cultures are more direct and communicate interests more clearly then women. Although they may hide it most of the time, it's just a natural and biological thing to feel attraction at some moments. However it is more important how they direct that energy, their goals and ideas for the current relationship. For a mature enough girl, those will be just brief moments, and it's better not to make big deal of it. Developing deep quality communication and connection based on understanding is the ultimate solution.