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Some say that love bites and others enjoy love bites! Some people love hickies and others think they're icky! No matter what the situation is in life, there seems to always be people at both ends of the spectrum. Everyone has a different love language between the sheets, and if you have just learned that your partner loves hickies, read on!
So you’ve found a sweet spot on that neck, but you don’t quite know how to work it, eh? Well you’ve come to the right place! Hickies 101: Come on in, take a seat, and take some notes, because you are about to be schooled on how to give a hickey, and a good one to boot!
What Is a Hickey?
I’ll start with the pleasant explanation: A hickey is a spot left on an area in which you were suckling with your mouth, most likely in a moment of lust or making love. It looks strikingly similar to a bruise and can pass as one with the right excuse if there is ever a need to deny what is actually is.
Hickies can actually be left by accident in the heat of the moment and can take the shape of a small circle, a skinny line, or a blotchy, all-over-the-place, is-that-a-hickey-or-some-kind-of-funky-birthmark? kind of thing.
True explanation: A hickey is formed when a cluster of small blood vessels, or capillaries, underneath the skin are broken from the pressure of suction from the mouth. Usually an occurrence on softer skin, such as on the neck, this suction causes blood to leak out under the skin, which is essentially just like a bruise. Since it is blood under the skin, it will take on a red appearance at first, and then turn brownish or purplish as the blood begins to clot and the hickey begins to heal.
Regardless of what a hickey is, they can play an important part in role play or if you are just messing around with your partner. They are often used as a mark of possession, to say “this person is taken,” in a sense. So now the big question is: How to give a hickey? Well let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?
How Do You Give Someone a Hickey?
Here's a quick breakdown on how to give a quality hickey.
1. Get Squeaky Clean
First, unless it doesn’t really bother you, get a shower together so the spot(s) that you’re putting your mouth all over are clean! There’s nothing more gross than the taste (or smell) of B.O. when you’re trying to be intimate! Not only will you get squeaky clean, but this is a good time to start messing around! Not all of that steam has to be from the shower (wink).
2. Set the Mood
Next, give a few gentle kisses up the arm, on the shoulders, and all around the area where you will be “working.” This will help to relax your partner and be more submissive to the fun sensations you’re about to provide!
3. Find the Spot
Once you can feel that your partner is into it (and you’ll be able to tell!), get to work! Find a sweet spot, tickle it a bit with the tip of your nose or your loosely closed lips, loosely open your lips and begin. Giving a hickey is not just about sucking to leave a mark, but about making it feel amazing in the process.
4. Try Different Things
Experiment with different sensations to see what your partner likes more. Start off by suckling gently while alternating an undulating movement with your tongue to massage the skin in a sense. Try tight tongue and relaxed tongue as both ways will produce different sensations. Suck a little harder every once in a while to really establish that love mark, then end off with kissing the area with relaxed lips and make your way in whatever other direction you planned on heading!
Best Tips About Giving a Hickey
Some of these might seem a little obvious to those who are more seasoned hickey givers, but for a newbie, these tips will help you suck like a pro!
- Never kiss up on your partner with chapped lips. This is a huge turn off for many and it takes away from the pleasurable feelings that should be felt!
- Give your hickies with confidence! Another turn off between the sheets is someone who lacks confidence in what they’re doing, and nothing screams virgin more than lacking confidence!
- Don’t be sloppy! It’s probably a huge turn off to leave a bunch of drool running down the skin, so while you’re suckling, if you’re a drooler, try to keep it clean.
- Practice on your arm first before performing the real thing on your mate. If you are not sure about your technique, this is a good way to see what feels good and what does not.
- Mix it up a bit going from massaging with your tongue, hard suckling, and gentle (or hard) biting. This all depends on your partner and what they find enjoyable.
- Don’t leave a hickey where it can be seen if you’re not sure about whether or not your partner a) wants one visible and b) can get in trouble for it!
Now that you know everything that you need to know in order to become a hickey-giving expert, it’s time to journey out to the field and give it a shot! Congratulations, you’ve just passed Hickies 101! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.