What You Need to Know About Your Sex Dreams

Updated on February 2, 2015
What do your sex dreams really mean?
What do your sex dreams really mean? | Source

Is It Normal to Have Sex Dreams?

Sex dreams are a universal human phenomenon. People of all ages and races have had or will experience sex dreams at some point in their lives. Many societies consider sex dreams to be taboo.

However, medical and psychology experts alike assure us that sex dreams, no matter how perverse they may seem, are natural and normal. They are a safe means for our bodies to release some of our physical urges. In fact, a study conducted by Alfred Kinsey, D. Sc. showed that people who achieved higher education in life had more frequent and vivid sex dreams than those who only made it through grade school. In other words, the more developed our brains are, the more creative and elaborate our sex dreams become.

Surprisingly, sex dreams are not only limited to humans. Animals experience erotic dreams too. In fact, certain reports show that dogs and cats experience steamy dreaming that sometimes result in ejaculation.

Interpreting Your Sex Dreams

Sex dreams are perfectly normal. However, many of them are so disturbing they make us question our morality. Thankfully, dream experts assure us that our sex dreams have nothing to do with our moral identity. Instead, they are a harmless, effective means for us to vent our frustrations and repressed desires.

Here are some interpretations that could shed light on some common sex dreams.

1. Having Intercourse with Someone of the Same Sex

Dreaming of a steamy lovemaking session with another man or woman does not make us homosexual. According to experts, homosexual dreams occur when we experience problems in our relationships with the opposite sex. Through homosexual dreams, we find comfort amidst the relationship difficulties that we face. No one understands the emotions that men feel better than men themselves do. Likewise, women talk to other women to release their frustrations and find sympathy.

2. Having Intercourse with an Unattractive Person

Unlike homosexual dreams, this kind of steamy dreaming is less disturbing and not considered a taboo. It typically occurs in young adults. Experts believe that this kind of dream helps us determine the different attributes or characteristics that we should look for in a potential life partner. In addition, this kind of dream helps us know whether we are capable of being in a relationship with someone who is unattractive or not.

3. Having Intercourse with Someone Other than Our Partners

Cheating dreams are very common among people who are in relationships. However, dreaming of having intercourse with someone other than our partners does not mean that we will do it in real life. According to experts, cheating dreams are actually good for our relationships. They help us experience the painful consequences of cheating—losing our partners or families—without having to commit the actual mistake. Knowing the consequences of cheating helps us to stay faithful to our partners.

4. Having Intercourse with One of Our Family Members

Incestuous dreams are the most disturbing and taboo among the different kinds of sex dreams. However, there is no reason for us to get alarmed if we experience them from time to time. Just like homosexual dreams, incestuous dreams usually occur when we have problems in our relationships. Having intercourse with one of our family members symbolizes our need for comfort and acceptance. Moreover, dream experts suggest that incestuous dreams are a sign that we need to exert more effort in improving the condition of our existing relationships.

The Difference Between Men’s and Women’s Sex Dreams

When it comes to erotic dreams, there are some points that differentiate the two sexes.

1. Timing

Men start having sex dreams during their late teens and the frequency of dreams usually peaks in their twenties. Women, on the other hand, tend to have frequent steamy dreaming during their forties.

2. Sex partners

Men often dream of having sexual encounters with strangers. In contrast, women most of the time dream of having sex with someone they know in real life. In addition, women tend to dream more of foreplay, such as fondling and kissing, and dream less of actual penetration. On the other hand, men usually dream of coitus more than any other sexual activity.

3. Emissions

Men sometimes ejaculate during sex dreams. Women, on the other hand, do not leave any physical evidence, no matter how wild their erotic dreams are. However, most nocturnal emissions usually occur among teens or young adult men in their twenties.


Conclusion: Sex Dreams Are Normal

Experiencing sex dreams occasionally is perfectly normal. Experts even suggest that they are healthy for us. Through sex dreams, our repressed sexual desires, which are unacceptable by society, are fulfilled.

In addition, vivid sex dreams are evidence of superior intelligence. The only situation when they become dangerous is when we act them out in real life—this is especially true for the weirder kinds of dreams. As such, let us not treat our sex dreams as problems. Instead, we should view them as a normal aspect of our psyche.

Now that you know sex dreams are normal, how do you feel?

See results

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Well sex dreams are caused by demons. Such as sucubus and incubus also called spiritual husban or wife. They are sex inmorality demons who gain authority from your dirty thoughs to then molest you in dreams (they molest mostly those who don't want to have sex wiyh them dreams). I'm a Christian and I stoped doing sex inmorality. From the time I stopped I started to get dreams. Paralized dream, sex dream, "scary dreams" about demons not visualy but feelable while being in a dream/awake state jumping on me touching my head (not for long). Today I got a "scary dream" after waking up I went back to sleep then I had this dream at a jungle/supermarket..yea. The supermarket was full of woman I was walking towards each of them one for one. Then I got to this one and I had the feeling to have sex with her. From all the woman only one I felt to have sex with, a sucubus. When I used to fall in this demonic trap I'd wake up instantly ejucated. But this time I began having sex for like 1 second from there I realized I was doing some serious bad stuff and entered the sleep/awake (at this state the demon would make me ejucate) state could hear my fan but I had my eyes closed, couldn't move and couldn't repent the demon verbaly. But I started to repent it in my mind in Jesus name. From that moment I felt flowing matter (the sucubus) leaving me from up there and going trough the middle of my legs out. Then I instanly woke up realizing I did not ejucate this time. I thank Jesus for even tough I ascepted having sex with the demon he was still there to hear me and help me.

      All these days i've been sleeping at min 2 am but I decided yesterday to sleep earlier. This lets me come with the conclution that satan wants people to sleep late. From being alone demons can persuade people doing lots of crazy stuf such as suicide. People this is no joke.

      With this experience I can say 100% that who you are having sex with in dreams are demons and we all need Jesus to help us to get rid of these things. Once again I can say Jesus you are the truth the way and the life. I'd like any of you to become a Christian, you may need to go trough demon molest because of your*inmorality* as I did but this is all for Gods glory so be brave and walk with Jesus to salvation he never said it would be easy but It can get easy and depents on Gods will and you. If you want Jesus to change your life follow his word and don't ask your self bible questions then because no one knows the answere you just stop following him. Go and read that bible with understanding and you shall know all is truth.

      Sorry for my english. God bless you in Jesus name. :)

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I've been having more and more dreams about dating another man for the past week. Do not know them, and not sexual at all. The feeling that i get would be along the lines of a feeling wanted (non sexual). Usually they are calling out to me, almost as if they have won my heart....side note I've been with the same man for six years, and have a child together. Sometimes (more often then not) i feel like he and i are just not at ask compatible....

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      but what about being the opposite sex? for example i had a dream i was a man having sex with a woman any knowledge on that

    • Hariom Singhal profile image


      7 years ago from INDIA (Haryana) SAMPLA

      Sex dream common in teenage.After marriage it subside.Fred and kinsey were best psychological.

    • ermetes profile image

      ermetes adolfo jr. 

      7 years ago from Philippines

      Merci. Je vous en prie...de rien! THANK YOU!

    • Paul Corvan profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul Corvan 

      7 years ago

      You're welcome ermetes. I'll be writing more about this topic, so keep posted :)

    • ermetes profile image

      ermetes adolfo jr. 

      7 years ago from Philippines

      Absolutely, I agree with you Paul. However, in my point of view and experience, based also on one's culture and practices, especially if the family is very conservative; sometimes, a person with sexual dreams can't divulge directly to the family members and others. He/she wants his/her sex dream to keep it by not telling other people, especially within the circle of his/her family members. For men, of course, they are too vulgar and very proud to reveal their secrets. But, other people can't blow the gaff because they are afraid that they could be tagged as "very aggressive and maniacal"--the more they can't discuss their sex dreams in front of the parents and the members of the family, except for their peers. In general, what you have replied with regard to my comment is based on reality nowadays, and I accept that comment from you...thanks for sharing the info!

    • Paul Corvan profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul Corvan 

      7 years ago

      I couldn't agree more ermetes. However, sex dreams, in themselves are not bad. In fact, they are a good and effective "outlet" for both men and women's repressed sexual desires to get fulfilled.

      Typically, in Asian cultures, society expects women to stay pure and sexually passive. On the other hand, it is acceptable for men to be vulgar about their sexual exploits.

      The beauty of sex dreams is that they are a harmless means for women to express their deepest and even unconscious sexual wants and wishes without revealing them to society.

    • ermetes profile image

      ermetes adolfo jr. 

      7 years ago from Philippines

      We can't shun from dreaming of something erotic which is traditionally against one's culture, especially Filipino culture. Despite the bad occurrence of sex dreams, the good and bad flows still educate us to be aggressive at all times. Men can easily make a sudden outlet of their sex dreams while women attempt to control to the best they can.


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