Improving the Married Sex life
I wouldn't call myself a relationship expert, but I do feel like I have keen observational skills. I spend a lot of time looking on the Internet and talking with friends and co-workers. One topic of interest to me is the sex life of a married couple.
It is easy to see how the love life of married couples can become stale and even nonexistent. Busy work schedules topped off with a night of dealing with children's activities, homework, illness or even cabin fever can wear thin on a couple and decrease the chance of a romantic encounter.
Men typically have certain expectations for how their love life should be. I would saw that many men are disappointed in the number of sexual encounters they typically have. Men are wired differently, however. For those men who have no issues with erectile dysfunction or other issues that affect performance, they can get excited just by the prospect of sex.
These types aren't for getting your wife into bed immediately. They are for sustaining a healthy sexual relationship with the woman that you love. These tips take patience and diligence. These tips take a commitment to better your love life and not just for the night at hand. Take these for what they are worth. I don't have a PhD in relationships and sex. I haven't bedded a multitude of women to know what it takes. I have a bit of common sense. I enjoy observing human nature. I am also a husband and a father.
Tips for Improving Sexlife
1. Be complimentary: It is easy to forget to say things to your wife after you have been married a certain amount of time. Some women also don't take compliments very well, but you can keep things toned down enough to be complimentary while also not making your wife uncomfortable.
Simple things like letting her know that dinner tasted good or the house looks nice is a good start. Compliment her on how she looks. Make sure you mean it though. Telling your wife they look hot when she is wearing a baby food stained shirt and sweats can come off as condescending. Wait until she spent time making her feel good about herself then comment on how nice she looks.
Be sure that you are willing to thank your wife for doing things she does on a regular basis. Thank her for changing the sheets on the bed or giving the baby a bath. She will appreciate that you notice what she is doing.
The most important things about giving compliments is that you are sincere. If you give out compliments or thanks with the expectation of some action to follow, you may be disappointed and risk your wife thinking future compliments are insincere.
2. No Strings Attached Affection: Women sometimes view intimacy as something different then men. Men may view sex as the ultimate form of intimacy, while women may view a long hug or cuddling on the couch as their favorite type of intimacy.
Don't be afraid to give your wife a passionate kiss without trying to lead her to the bedroom. I think women, by nature, tend to be affectionate creatures. However, they may not always be in the mood to have sex. If they feel like they can give you affection without taking it to the bedroom immediately, they may be willing to initiate the affection on a more consistent basis.
I have been guilty in the past of offering back rubs. There is nothing wrong with offering a back rub, but I had a motive to giving my wife a back rub after a hard day. Back rubs and foot rubs are a great way to have that touch with your wife in a casual manner.
The main thing to remember when offering affection is that you keep your motives in check. You are not teasing in any way by not following up affection with sex. You are showing your wife that you enjoy that affection without it leading to sex. Your wife may be willing to be affectionate with you if there are no expectations. In the long run, the added affection and closeness will spill over into the bedroom.
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3. Take Care of Yourself: Exercise is a good thing. It can physically make you look better and more appealing to the opposite sex. It will also make you feel better about yourself leading to more confidence. Practicing good hygiene and grooming practices can make you more appealing to your loved one's eye as well.
While thinking about your sexual encounters with your wife, do you offer up the best version of yourself? Do you smell good? Look good? Does your breath stink? These things play a part in your wife's experiences that can either make her look fondly on sex with you or find it forgettable. A woman's sexuality may come from how she feels about herself and her appearance. Even though there is a comfort level and a history, your wife may feel insecure with her body. Men are totally different in that regard. They are willing to strip down in front of their wife for sex without regard to their beer gut, man boobs and three days worth growth on their face.
Take pride in your appearance and health. Do it to look nice for your wife. She will appreciate the effort and find you to be more physically desirable. Practicing good health can ensure that you are there for your family for the long haul as well, and your wife will appreciate that aspect of it as well. Feeling good about yourself will also make you a better father and husband.
4. Do Chores you Normally Leave for Your Wife: Most household have both parents working. Even the parent that stays home finds themselves extremely tired at the end of a long day whether it is writing a big report for work or getting gum out of little Susie's hair. I know my wife hates to look at a sink full of dishes when she gets home from work. She also has long days where she doesn’t feeling like making dinner or even thinking about what to make for dinner. The solutions for both those problems are very simple. Simply make dinner and clear out the sink. Neither take a lot of time, but doing those tasks earn points and save your wives energy.
This is probably one of the easiest things that a man can do, but it is also something that seems to be neglected often. I am very guilty of passing the buck when it comes to certain chores. However, taking the time to do these things will draw a certain amount of appreciation from your wife.
5. Plan Date Night: My wife is the person who typically plans our date nights. She makes the arrangements for what we are doing and getting the sitter. Date nights don't happen enough in my house, but I am guilty for not making that happen on my end. I still have yet to be the person to initiate date night since our first child was born over two years ago.
Date night shows your wife that you want to be out with her for an adult evening. You desire to be alone with her and have adult conversation. Planning it yourself and making the arrangements for sitters can make your wife feel wanted. She will know that you made the extra effort to have special time for just the two of you. This special time doesn't have to end in a sexual encounter, but it could.
I think a woman just desires to feel wanted and needed by the man they married. Date night is a great way to do that. Women like to get dressed up and get away from being a mommy for just a few hours. Again, make sure that you make all the arrangements. Depending on the women, surprising her may go along ways too.
Conclusion: This isn't a sure fire way to get your wife into bed. The most important things about each of these tips is the motive behind them. If the intent of your actions is just to have sex with your wife, you are sorely missing the point. These tips are for long-term effects hoping that consistent use of each of these tips can lead you to being more appealing to your wife. If you appeal to your wife more, my guess is that intimacy will come.
One thing that I did neglect to tell you earlier in the article is that I strive to have a healthier sexual relationship with my wife. She is my best friend and I love her dearly, but our sex life needs improvement. I will be taking my own advice from this article and applying them to my life. I intend on reporting the results in future hubs. Not just of the sex. That is somewhat private, but I want to see the results in overall intimacy with my wife. The title of the hub may not be totally accurate, but it got you here, right?
I hope you don't find this article hypocritical. Like I said, I am a keen observationalist, but applying it to your own life is a different story. I guess it is like the old saying, "Those who can’t do, teach." Well, I am going to put my money where my mouth is and give this an honest effort and hopefully I will see results.
I feel these are good tips. It is nothing groundbreaking. We all know that men need reminders regularly and this can serve as that.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.