Reasons Why He Didn't Call After Sex and What to Do About It
Why He Should Call After Sex
Too often men make assumptions and excuses about women are thinking and feeling. A lot of times guys make assumptions about what he thinks you want because his ego is way too big. This article explores reasons a man should call after sex, how to communicate, and what to do if he backs off.
1. No Woman Wants to Feel Used
If your guy cannot be honest with his intentions, then maybe you should suggest that another avenue with a different woman would probably be best for him. Sex is a two-way street, as is the decision for two people to be together. Usually, the more time you spend with someone, the more the romance develops. As a result, the emotional and physical desire grows stronger, and a foundation for love is formed.
Ladies, Please Remember!
We hold the power to our own fate; we don't need to wait for a man to call us. If you have not heard from him, call him. If he does not pick up or respond back (after a few days)—that's okay! Let's keep it real, no one likes to feel like a one night stand to a guy that they have been dating. Unfortunately, no answer is sometimes an answer, and dwelling on it will not change the outcome.
2. Not Calling Makes Him Seem Egotistical
When a guy doesn't respect you enough to give you the courtesy of calling or texting after sleeping with you, he's not only rude, but he may have an enlarged ego. For any man to assume what you want or expect without asking first, is frankly offensive! Maybe you also want to just have fun (especially if the sex is good). Maybe you want to date, but not have a commitment. Or, maybe you like the guy and don't have any expectations, but want to keep an open mind for whatever could potentially happen.
Although it might be an easy out for a guy to claim that he didn't call after sex because you weren't "the one," there are usually many more reasons why you might not hear from a guy.
3. You Shared an Intimate Moment—The Proper Thing to Do Is Acknowledge That!
Ladies, if a guy decides to fall off the map—weeks, months, or possibly forever—after sex, then shame on him! He is definitely not the right guy and does not deserve your time, or emotional energy thinking about him.
Red flags can appear in all relationships; however, when they appear too soon that is never a good sign, especially once you have been physically intimate. Protect yourself emotionally and physically. Discuss what you are looking for before sleeping together—be very clear. And, always, always wear a condom—if he doesn't call, you have one less thing to worry about.
How to Communicate After Sex
- Be honest about what you want. If your goal is to find a relationship, tell him that you’re not interested in being casual sex buddies. If you want to sleep around with him, ask him if he wants to have a repeat of the night before sometime this week. It’s that easy.
- Ask him what he wants. The situation is not just about you. You should listen to his side as well. Let him go if he's not interested. A lot of men aren’t interested in relationships if they made an effort to sleep with you as soon as possible.
- Don't ask for a relationship. You just had sex. Whether or not you’ve been seeing each other for a while, this is not the time to talk about it. It’s possible that your judgment could be impaired from the mind-blowing sex, and you’re not being objective about the situation. That goes the same for your partner.
- Don't be thirsty. There's no need to be clingy. If he's not replying, then he's probably busy or uninterested. Be wary of replies that seem to arise when you think he has an itch he needs to scratch.
How to Handle Him Backing Off After Sex
Take a Step Back
Stop hitting him up. He probably has a different sense of timing than you might prefer, but if you pressure him into making a decision, you are likely to lose him as a romantic partner. If someone wants to talk to you, they will do so.
Become More Comfortable With Uncertainty
Most women are capable of sharing their feelings by communicating while most men express how they feel in their behavior. If he’s taking things more slowly, it may mean that you need to back off emotionally.
Shift your focus to the other things in your life. Don’t wait for him to respond before you decide to make plans with friends. Go do whatever brought you joy before your sexual encounter. If not knowing where you stand makes you anxious, redirect that energy. Go for a walk, take an activity class, or become involved in something else that interests you.
Continue to Be Romantically Available
Remain romantically available. Continue to date and explore potential relationships with other men, if that is what you desire, unless you and your boy have verbally agreed that you are in an exclusive relationship. If that is the case, it might be a good idea to get to know other men as platonic friends while he figures out what he wants.
More Reasons Why He Did Not Call After Sex
- He regrets sleeping with you.
- He's immature and inexperienced.
- He was embarrassed—didn't think he was any good in bed.
- He has a girlfriend/wife that he didn't tell you about.
- His hands became immobilized (no longer able to use them to dial your number)—right after sleeping with you.
- He was dating someone else at the same time, and he's decided he's more interested in her.
- He died (plane crash, car crash, freakish illness).
- He's younger and didn't know how to handle the situation.
- Let's face it . . . he wanted sex and once he got it, he was done.
- You weren't his cup of tea in the boudoir.
- He lost his phone right after he slept with you and had no way of retrieving your number.
- He had to enter a witness protection program immediately after his night with you.
- Plain and simple . . . He is an a-hole!
Yes, some of the reasons might sound ridiculous, but it's just as ridiculous for a guy not to call, especially if he is over the age of thirty. When two adults who have been dating for awhile decide to connect in a sexual way, then the man should at least be considerate enough to tell you if he is no longer interested. If the interest isn't there anymore, you are told so—preferably by a phone call. However, receiving a text or email is better than nothing.
Bottom line, a man who has good intentions will call you after sex. Period!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.