The sexual life of a married woman is in many ways, a representation and fall out of her real life. To turn your wife on, you will need to break away from mundane behavior and embrace the not-so-serious side of life.
If you have been hearing 'I'm tired' or 'I have a headache' way too often, read on for everyday tips that will help you learn how to get your wife in the mood for sex.
1) Stop arguing and fighting with your wife
If you want to turn your wife on, stop arguing or fighting for a few days because an argument can become emotionally draining. Try to overlook some obvious shortcomings, just like how she overlooks some of yours.
Stop annoying your wife by arguing with her and make her feel like you are putting an effort to iron out the tiny differences in your relationship. It will make her want to give back into the relationship and the marriage.
2) Bring back the teenage romantic within you
If you find yourself complaining 'Sex isn't how it was when our relationship started. Everything has become dull now', ask yourself, 'Are you as romantic as you were when you first started seeing your wife?'
To get your wife in the mood for sex, bring back the teenage romantic within you. Bring her flowers without reason, randomly give her a small gift, shower her with compliments and keep doing the teeny romantic things that you used to when you started dating her. All these things will make her feel wanted all over again, and she will want you even more.
3) Play mom to the kids for a day or two
Mothers love to look after their kids but once in a while they like it if they get a break from the mundane routine of waking up, fixing breakfast, dropping the kids off to school, picking them up and so on.
If you really want your wife to reciprocate positively in bed, take over some of her mommy duties for a few days. It will ease the burden of responsibility from her shoulders.
4) Groom yourself and put some effort into staying fit and looking good naked
Depending on whether your wife is the kind of woman who likes body hair on men or not, keep grooming yourself regularly. A decent trimmer will cost you less than $50 while a good quality grooming kit which has a trimmer, various attachments and the works, will cost less than $100. That is a small investment to make if you want to turn on your wife.
Just like you expect your wife to be womanly and get rid of unwanted body hair from time to time, it would be fair on her side to expect you to indulge in some manly grooming too. Show her that you want to look good for her and take off that excess body hair.
Add to your own sex appeal by staying fit, working out and doing the best you can to look good naked. If you think you need to lose a few pounds, find motivation to lose weight and hit the gym to burn off a few calories.
5) Watch a romantic film together in bed
A romantic movie is a great way to kick off a romantic rendezvous in bed. Pick a romantic movie and snuggle up with your wife in bed as you both watch it while munching on snacks and your favorite beverage. Just make sure that the movie you pick does not have a sad ending.
You and your wife should be able to relate tiny bits from your own married lives to the romantic episodes in the film. As the movie's plot progresses, there will be a time when you both will look into each others' eyes, lock lips and passionately embrace.
6) Treat her to a day full of fun: Shopping, dinner and movie
Picture yourself in a situation where someone grabs your arm and says 'I'm going to take you to the mall and buy you anything you want. Then I'm going to take you to the movies and we are going to watch your favorite flick.' How would you feel? Presumably, you would feel excited and happy like a small child who has just been given candy.
Similarly, surprise your wife and treat her to a fun filled day of shopping, followed by a nice meal and a movie. The combination of shopping, movie and dinner was just an example. If your wife is an art connoisseur and likes to go to galleries, take her there. The point is to get her in the mood for sex, by being a true gentleman, and treating her to a day full of fun and happiness.
7) Go on a short weekend trip with your wife: Kids can come along
The best way to turn on your wife on is to plan short weekend trips so the both of you can take a break from the rut of life. Even if you take the kids along, you two can spend some quality time together and enjoy romantic kisses, hugs and cuddles in a lead up to a sizzling rendezvous in bed.
Remember that you don't necessarily need to spend a lot of money to travel. These short weekend trips can be as simple as driving down to the countryside and sharing a glass of wine over campfire, while the kids are asleep after a day of trekking and hiking.
8) Utter sweet nothings in your wife's ear all day long
When was the last time you held your wife by surprise and said I Love You? When was the last time you called your wife from work and said I Miss You? If you haven't been showing the true face of your love and affection for your wife, how is she supposed to know?
Keep uttering sweet nothings and shower her with love all day long. She will get goose bumps every time you hold her in your arms and whisper something in her ear as you breathe down her neck. Your tender show of love will go a long way in building up the momentum to naughty times in the bedroom.
9) Make her life easier, smoother and better
As silly and naïve this sounds, it is probably the best piece of advice when it comes to learning how to turn your wife on. If your marriage, your kids' activities, your wife's job and all the other elements that make up her schedule are going great, sex life is likely to be good.
But if there is a dent in the things driving her happiness and satisfaction, it is likely that there is lack of action in the bedroom. Getting your wife in the mood for sex is as easy as pulling all the plugs to keep your marriage and overall life happy and healthy.
10) Be successful at work and make your wife want you more
A passive way to turn your wife on is to be successful at work. If you are wondering how, the answer is quite simple. If you become successful at work, it is likely that you will get a promotion which means more money. This will result into a better standard of living for your family, which will make your wife feel good about her life.
Your success will elevate your image in your wife's eyes and she will feel happy to be married to a successful person like you. Remember, being successful does not only mean being rich. In this context, being successful is all about being the man you've always wanted to be. Women drool over men who can just go out there and achieve their dreams.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
CARLTON HANSON on April 01, 2020:
I do not normally get involved in other’s personal business, however, this couple is an exception. I am writing for a friend of mine, Carlton. I am very worried about both him and his wife, Charlotte. Carlton recently left Charlotte, recently meaning the last 3 months or so for another woman. We live in a small town and I fear that once it becomes public about his affair he will face terrible shame. It is a surprise to the few of us who know of the affair. His wife, Charlotte adored her husband, Carlton. It is my understanding divorce papers have been filed. I do not know which of them filed for divorce. I feel this couple, my friends got off track and need to realize what all they have together. I worry about my friend, Carlton. The shame, humiliation and shunning he will face from cheating on Charlotte will be astronomical. I would like for him to rethink what he has done by bringing this affair between him and Charlotte. Carlton could not possibly love anyone more than he loves Charlotte. I fear he got wrapped up in the affair and lost sight of what he has in Charlotte. He will face terrible embarrassment, I wish to save my friend from this embarrassment. How can I help him to see what he has done is wrong? How can I help my friends? This woman who came between Carlton and Charlotte needs to go on about her business and leave Carlton alone. Carlton needs to remember the love and care he has for Charlotte. I hate, I mean hate to see Carlton and Charlotte to divorce. Please help them, help me to help them. Please help me to know how to bring my friends back together, to save Carlton from the shame and the hurt he will bring his family. His children and grandchildren will find humiliation, and extreme embarrassment in his decision. How can I help Carlton to see that his marriage is worth saving? I am hoping by posting this comment Carlton will read in black and white and rethink his actions. Concerned friend.
Edward G.Ofoauapea on March 23, 2019:
Is it good to intimidate your partner during sex
Mark on April 27, 2018:
There are many things to excite your wife. One thing is to dig up in your mind what your wife has mentioned to you before, maybe years ago.
One day my now x wife mentioned sort of causally, "I missed a lot, sometimes I'd like to be a slut just like my friend." Ok clue in on that.
I took a chance and a long shot trying to make that dream come sort of true for her. One day I pulled out a hundred dollar bill and propositioned her "Pay for Play" damn she went wild crazy, fun, sex and stuff. Had to pay up first.
It was a chance of getting smacked up side the head but it was worth it. Did that when I could afford it. LOL. (got a side job)
C2dak on February 03, 2018:
Wow, really? All I see is pretty much be a normal dad or human being, and wait, spend more money on her. Buy her shit and spend money on dinners and movies and worthless shit. Seriously?
Mohican83 on January 21, 2018:
It takes 2 to argue.
Tradarius on January 20, 2018:
Wow great stuff
mmm on September 17, 2017:
Wife is like egg u have to hold careful and nicely
Robert E Smith from Rochester, New York on June 29, 2013:
I believe that number 2 has the key to keeping the spark alive. This is the one about random acts that make her see you love her and that she is the most desirable woman you know. Love is why you got married but at that point a woman knew that she was the focus. She was the prize that was won. She was the thing that made him turn his head. She was the thing that moved him when nothing else would. But soon after marriage it is the tendency for both partners to "settle into" a routine that begins to stretch the boundaries of patience. Each takes for granted the other, small at first, but then in bigger and bigger ways that do not demonstrate love but just the opposite - disregard, disrespect, dishonor. She is not in the mood for sex because sex is no longer about love. It is about selfish need or more frequently selfish greed.
God has a much better way. The Song of Solomon speaks of the man constantly treating his wife as if she is the jewel of his life. He remembers how to be silly, to be encouraging, how to see when she is upset and swoop in to keep her from harm and restore her smile. Marriage is a covenanted partnership that is like a fire that needs tending. Sometimes the flame smolders and needs a light breath of reassurance. Sometimes the logs and coals need to be shifted around so it can breathe and blaze anew.
When I first was married I vowed to make sure my wife would be constantly aware that I love her, that everyday I would make the effort to see her smile or laugh or in some manner we would connect. I have not had one day that I have gone without saying I love you probably from 6 to 20 times. I say it with the words themselves but in other ways. For example she will be playing on her computer and I will come in and lay my hand on her shoulder or touch her hair and then leave. By that small act she knew she was important. I had to think of her and then stop the important thing I was doing and reconnect with her. If she had stopped me to talk I would have talked. If she needed anything from me I would have done that thing. Most of the time I see her reacting with a comfortable shrug that says, "I was waiting for that!" Men tend to be simple because they are allowed to be simple. Society has downgraded men to grunting, stupid, couch-sitting, woman watching animals that only want one thing that they are incapable of delivering to a woman who would tolerate their advances. Men are capable of much more.
scuffer12345 from CUYAHOGA FALLS, OH on August 22, 2012:
I was married and my sex life was non existent, so when I saw this Hub I had to stop, was hoping for something to say WOW I should have tried that. I wrote a very similar blog in 2005 published on MySpace, the only one thing that my blog did not have yours had, was WORK, I even had Man from Modesto comment pray. Here are little helpers that are fun and easy, 2x3" Post it Notes - with little I love you notes, One on toilet seat, one on mirror, one on coffee pot, one on refrig door, think of everywhere she will be that morning, put them there before she gets up, when she gets up she will pee and laugh, she will get coffee and smile and it continue on My wife loved them and yes we made out. You mentioned dinner and movie date? but instead of Txt, talking, cell phone send her a snail mail invitation = you are invited to a romantic dinner for two, where when and by whom get creative with that card, when she opens mail, and you come home, your chances of getting lucky in bed that night are great, and its only Thursday, it is like 2 for 1, one time when she gets card and than after dinner and movie LOL yes I am extremely creative, romantic and loving, why my marriage floped is lack of communication. I am JOE and i follow your hubs
Man from Modesto from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California) on August 21, 2012:
This is an article many will appreciate. I watched a great video series by Gary Smalley several years ago on how to keep the love, romance, and sex alive in a marriage.
However, the greatest thing I ever learned about marriage is to pray for more love, joy, happiness, and laughter. These are certainly right requests, and God granted them to us in a big way, too. This prayer has worked for everyone we have shared it with.