How to Kiss a Girl? Kissing Tips and Advice for Guys
How do you kiss a girl for the first time? Let's put aside all of the advice you might have read online that promises to make you an expert kisser overnight. That's simply unrealistic. Kissing, like any other skill, takes practice. Luckily, practicing kissing is usually really fun ;)
This post will focus on basic kissing tips for guys – from pre-kiss prep to technique to the things that every man should remember before leaning in to lock lips with his crush.
Hopefully, this advice will hep make your kiss everything you want it to be: enjoyable, cute, and romantic.
However, don't freak out if it's not perfect! There will be plenty more opportunities (even if it doesn't seem like it right now). Also, congratulate yourself on taking a chance! It's not always easy to go in for the kiss, and at least you're willing to put yourself out there. Good job!
This article assumes that the hotly-anticipated kiss will be somewhere private and that you and the girl will be alone somewhere — maybe it's after a date, after you've walked her home from school, maybe you're at school after hours, or maybe you're out under the bleachers. Wherever you are, you should have some privacy!
16 Steps to a Perfect First Kiss
- Check your breath. Brush your teeth, chew gum, and avoid strong-smelling foods right before you're planning to kiss someone.
- Wash your body and hair. Good hygiene makes you very kissable.
- Prep your nose. Get all them boogers and hairs out of there.
- Smell decent. Use a nicely scented soap or a small amount of cologne
- Prep your lips. If they're chapped or dry, use some balm to get them kissable
- Make sure the moment is right. Look deep into her eyes and face her directly.
- Get their permission. Either ask them straight up if you can kiss them, or watch their body language closely to make sure they're vibing with you.
- Go in the for the kiss with lips slightly parted. Not gaping like a fish! Open like you're about to say something
- Tilt your head to avoid collisions. Just a slight tilt will do — make sure they go the opposite way!
- Keep your eyes shut while kissing. No one likes opening their eyes and seeing someone staring at them.
- Use your hands wisely. Touch her hair, face, back, neck, and shoulders.
- Don't use your tongue immediately. Keep it cool.
- Slide your tongue in. Never force it — gentle is the name of the game: a little tongue goes a long way.
- Keep the saliva to a minimum. If you need to, take a moment and swallow.
- Take your time. Don't be in a rush!
- After the kiss, smile. You don't need to say anything at all.
Before the Kiss
Well are you going to do it or not?
1. Make Your Breath Smell Awesome!
Brush your teeth twice, gargle with mouthwash, and use mints or a strong gum. Also, watch what you eat beforehand — avoid garlic, onions, coffee, smoking, and tuna (DUH!). Do whatever it takes to avoid bad breath before you kiss a girl. It's a total turn off and it could make the kiss could go from a beautiful fairy tale to horror story really fast. Don't let that happen!
2. Take a Shower. Wash Your Hair.
Kissing someone isn't just about the mouth — it's a full body experience. And unless you're just giving them a peck (which is totally fine too), you're going to want to make sure the rest of your body is prepared. That starts with a shower. Take one, and wash your hair. There's a good chance they'll want to run their fingers through it if kissing lasts for any amount of time (fingers crossed!).
Make sure it's free of dandruff or other stuff that might make her decide to stop kissing you. If you have dandruff, try using an anti-dandruff shampoo at least twice a week for a week or two beforehand.
[Here's a special reminder that nothing beats kissing someone that you really like and who really likes you back. No amount of grooming can change those underlying feelings. Okay, let's get back to it.]
3. Remove or Trim Your Nasal Hair and Clear Your Nose.
Some people are more . . . um . . . gifted in the nasal hair area than others. And while that's incredibly special (ahem), it might be a little distracting for the one that you have your eye on. So go ahead and grab a pair of nasal hair trimmers and trim that lovely bouquet of yours. A good test to see if you need to trim is if you look in the mirror straight on and see any little ones dangling out of there like kids hanging on the monkey bars.
If you don't have a nasal hair trimmer, your dad might. You could sneak into his bathroom and look for them (but be careful! You might see things you don't want to see . . . ). Or . . . you could just ask him. And also ask him how to use them. You don't want to cut yourself on the shnoz before your big date! (Google is also helpful for this.)
While you're at it, go ahead and blow that honker of yours to get any little boogems (or bats as we call them) out of there that might otherwise make an unwelcome appearance while you're having a romantic evening with your lady. You're going to be tilting and whirling so you want to make sure you're clear from all angles.
4. Smell Nice.
Girls love men that smell good, and fragrance will play a big role in charming your girl and giving her the kiss of your dreams. And this all starts with one of the previous steps — a shower.
Yes, a simple shower can go so far to make you the fresh-smelling man she's always wanted. If you use a scented soap on your body, that will often be enough to leave a pleasant aroma lingering for her to pick up as you lean in for those special moments.
If you want to go the extra mile, wearing cologne can be very powerful. If you use it correctly, you will smell like a demigod that any woman would be lucky to embrace. If you use it incorrectly, you will smell like a middle-schooler that accidentally spilled his dad's cologne all over him. Remember: less is more! You only need a single spray on your chest. Don't overdo it!
If perfume is not your domain or if you are unsure about choice in fragrances, stick to safe bets like Cool Water by Davidoff, Eternity by CK, Kenneth Cole Black by Kenneth Cole or Hugo by Hugo Boss. You can go to a department store and spend some time sniffing around.
WARNING: DO NOT FUMIGATE YOURSELF WITH AXE. At best, she'll think it's adorable and at worst, she won't be able to stand being inside of your mushroom cloud.
Okay, whew, that's out of the way.
5. Make Your Lips Nice and Soft and . . . Well . . . Kissable.
Cracked lips are not only unappealing, but they can hurt or irritate your kiss-ee's lips. If your lips are chapped or dry, go ahead and balm them up. You don't need to go overboard with it, but remember to give your lips a quick check before your date.
It'd probably be good to avoid using fragrant lip balms because a girl generally does not expect her guy's lips to smell like strawberry, vanilla, or peach. That said, it's not the worst thing in the world, and it may even inspire some conversation after the kiss. "Is that . . . . cherry?"
6. Make Sure the Moment Is Right.
Usually a kiss comes after a period of sustained eye contact. By the way, you should already be making contact or have made contact with her somehow — either by touching her on the shoulder or the small of her back, or maybe you're holding hands (this would be ideal!). It would be strange to go from not touching her at all to laying on on her.
Stare deep into her eyes, maybe give her a compliment or tell her something special (You're beautiful, I like you, etc.) — these might seem generic, and they are! But if you really mean them, then they'll be perfect and they'll mean a lot to her. But don't say them if you don't mean them. That's manipulative and gross.
Once the mood is deeply romantic and you two lovebirds are about to blast off into loverspace, it's time for the approach.
7. Get Permission to Kiss Them.
Getting permission to kiss someone is not to be taken lightly — putting your lips on another's body is very invasive (which is why it's so thrilling), and when it's done right, everyone has a great time.
So how do you get permission? There are two ways of doing it: one is asking them with your words if you can kiss them, and another is gauging from their body language if they want to be kissed and then "offering" one to them.
Let's go through each:
Asking Her With Words Before You Kiss
Though there are plenty of people who will say that asking to kiss someone is actually the kiss of death, it really depends on the person and on the situation.
On the one hand, the benefit of asking her with your words is that you know without a doubt that she wants to kiss you too, and that's great (especially if it's your first time kissing her.) This might be especially appropriate for first dates with a new person, or if you're with someone that you like but that you don't know very well.
Besides, if she really wants to kiss you too, she probably will not care at all if you ask as long as it ends in a smooch.
After the first one, it will get easier and you'll be better able to tell if she wants to kiss you without her directly saying, "Yes, kiss me please."
Not Asking Before You Kiss
Apart from using words, it is also possible to gauge from her body language and your interactions if she's wanting to kiss you. Is she leaning towards you? Is she facing away from you? Is she smiling or is she grumpy? Does she seem bored? (Warning: don't think that swooping in for a kiss is the cure for her boredom — it's likely not).
Especially if you've gone out before and have a sense for who she is, you can gather clues from her body language and make your move without asking for her spoken permission.
A good rule of thumb (from the movie Hitch with Will Smith) is that you should lean in 90% so she can come in the other 10%. That way it's more like you're offering a kiss rather than forcing one on her. In this way, you're still asking for permission, but you're doing it with your body instead of with your words.
Make sense? Good.
During the Kiss
Wow! Kissing is awesome!
8. Go in for the Kiss With Your Mouth Slightly Open.
Yes, it is scary to go in for a first kiss with someone, and yes, that might make everything in your body want to clench up, including your hands, your arms, and your mouth and face. However, if she wanted to date a tree, she wouldn't have gone out with you. So try to loosen up!
Keep your lips slightly open when you go in for the kiss, not gaping open like a carp, but just bareeeely parted so that they're at their softest and most full, like you're about to say something. In contrast, a closed mouth could make it look like all you're want to do is give her a tiny peck with your lips.
9. Tilt Your Head to Avoid Collisions.
As you start to approach your lovely target, be sure to tilt your head slightly sideways and if possible, guide her head to tilt it to the opposite side with your hands.
This works best if you do it in a soft, gentle manner, not like a robot working on auto parts. For example, if you were just caressing her face (which — great starter move by the move), gently hold her head (like it's a precious object!) and move it ever so slightly to the side.
You can take your time with this! There is no rush, and it might feel like the world is ending, or maybe that time is stopping, all of the anticipation will only make the final kiss that much better.
If you don't take the appropriate precautions, you risk bumping noses. If that happens, just laugh it off and tilt your head again so you can kiss her immediately while the situation is still romantic and heated up. Don't be discouraged!
10. Keep Your Eyes Shut While Kissing.
Do not underestimate the importance of keeping your eyes closed while kissing. Nothing is worse than accidentally opening your eyes and seeing the other person's staring back at you like a maniac. Yikes!
No matter how long or how short your kiss is going to be, remind yourself to close your eyes for it — it's a sign of enjoyment and by closing your eyes, you communicate the message that you are in a trance because of the spell your special love has cast upon you.
That said, don't shut your eyes too soon. It's best to let it happen either *right* before or *right* after you make contact. Closing the doors on your peepers prematurely may cause you to miss her lips!
Again, if that happens, laugh it off and go for it again.
11. Use Your Hands Wisely.
Like was mentioned early, kissing is a full body experience. It might start with the mouth and face, but that is certainly not where it stops (and I'm not talking about that.)
Even though you don't kiss with your hands, they play a very big role in making your kissing experience more enjoyable. There are several things you can do with your hands while you're kissing that have nothing to do with groping and everything to do with being a great kissing partner:
- You can use your hands to touch her neck and her face as you all tilt from side to side.
- You can put them around her waist or around her back to bring her closer to you (but be careful of getting too caught up and forcing her into a bear hug!).
- Gently run your hands through her hair and softly touch her face. Let the movements come naturally — if you go soft and slow, you can't go wrong. Speeding up is likely to cause more problems.
12. Don't Use Your Tongue Immediately.
Ah, the tongue — one of kissing's best and most abused tools. If you're kissing someone for the first time, you're likely pretty excited about it (as you should be!), but do not let that excitement carry over into the tongue department, thrusting it in and waggling it about like you're searching for gold.
No, no, no. At first, there must be no tongue, just gentle lip kisses. Keep your mouth slightly open and draw one of her lips gently between yours, then let it go, and then do the other one. Only after a solid period of lip-action is the tongue invited to the party.
13. Slide Your Tongue in — Never Force It.
Okay, so you've been kissing for a little bit and it's going well. Maybe it's time to try some tongue. The key thing to remember here is that a little goes a long way. I'll say it again a little differently: more tongue does not mean more fun (for her at least).
Here's how you introduce some tongue: Once you're into the kiss, gently slide the tip of your tongue into her mouth and gently and smoothly across her lips for just a moment and pull it back in. This is the only motion that you need to repeat. Don't try to stick the whole thing in there and leave it in there, do not flick your tongue wildly for any reason, do not jam it in and out over and over again, and do not lick her face or lips straight up. Those are all awful. Don't do them.
Now, if she brings her tongue out first, welcome it by returning the favor with yours. Again, gently, and with moderation.
14. Keep the Saliva to a Minimum.
Spit anywhere besides the mouth is gross, and excessive saliva can make a kiss very sloppy and irritating but when you kiss, your mouth tends to make more of it so this can be a little tricky.
If you notice that your mouth is filling up with spit and you've (gasp!) even drooled, take a second, pull back, and swallow. Not only will this help reduce the amount of spit you're honoring her with, but it's also a great moment to look deep into her eyes and smile. You'll look so sexy.
15. Take Your Time.
Think of every kiss as savoring the most expensive meal in the world. Would you gobble it down as fast as you could or would you start by taking in the dish's look and smell, and then enjoying it bite by bite until the very last crumb?
Assuming that you picked the latter, enjoy every moment of your kiss and immerse yourself into the whole experience. Don't kiss too quickly and don't be afraid to go slow. You can heighten the experience by feeling every step of your kiss.
Want to hang out again sometime?
As you pull away from your kiss, all you need to do is smile. You don't have to have anything funny or romantic to say (though you should feel free to say something if it comes naturally. Beware: There is less of a chance of making yourself seem like an idiot if you don't say anything).
Regardless, you should not plan out something to say afterwards either because it likely just won't fit. Nothing fits better than a smile. She'll probably smile back too. If you like, you can give her a compliment and lean in for yet another kiss.
This is a place where people often say, "You're beautiful, pretty, amazing, etc." If something like that seems appropriate, go ahead and say it.
A First Kiss Does Not Have to Turn Into a Make Out.
If things go well, you'll be kissing again soon enough anyways. Don't be afraid to leave a little something for the next time.
Besides, if you're kissing for the first time, you have enough to worry about without trying to figure out making out too.
Also, if going for a kiss on the lips is just too terrifying, that's okay! You can also kiss her hand gently (just bring it to your lips with them slightly parted and press them against her hand), or give her a gentle kiss on the cheek in the same way. Either of those could be good options to lead into a full-blown mouth kiss either at this time or sometime in the future.