I like giving advice on how to conduct yourself in a relationship.
How to Hug a Woman Like You Mean It
Okay guys, let's talk. Both you and I know that there are certain things in our society that men are just expected to know: how to fix cars, how to shave, and how to approach a girl, among others. These are all things that, generally speaking, no one ever teaches you how to do. You're just expected to know it. Surprisingly, nothing seems to upset the women I know as much as a guy who doesn't know how to give a good hug. Guys often overlook this perhaps less-than-stereotypically-manly skill that their girls really wish they had (by the way... it's way manly... in fact it's macho).
When I was a teenager, I found myself getting complimented by girls all the time for giving "great hugs." I used to do the typical teenager thing and write it off but then I realized they were telling me that most guys don't give great hugs. That's sad! Most guys want to please their girls but have no clue that simple things like this are so important. So whenever a girl complimented my great hug, I began asking, "What makes it great?"
And so here lies the primer of how to give a girl the hug she's looking for and what simple things can take your decent hug to the next level. If you heed these simple tips, you'll find it will improve your relationship or desirability much more than you ever thought it could. Women want and need affection outside the bedroom in order to trust what they receive in the bedroom. So, without further ado...
Tips and Techniques for Hugging a Woman
Best Hugging Techniques
How to Properly Hug Your Girl: Calibration.
Make sure you are reading their body language before, during, and after the hug. If they're asking for it, give it to them. But take it slowly and don't rush. If they're enjoying the hug, keep doing it! If they're signaling it's time to pull away, don't be greedy! If you end up in an awkward hug right off the bat then apologize with a confident laugh and try again. It's about both of you relaxing and having fun so make it fun and make sure it's fun for your partner as well.
Hugging a Girl You Like: Use a Light Touch
Lets go over technique. When you go in for the hug make very light contact. Trust me, a light touch goes a long way. If she's hugging you around your neck, your fingertips should start at her sides and work their way around to her back. If she's going for a hug around your waist then meet her arms with your fingertips and gently run your fingers up until you hands glide up around her back.
This will feel not only better but it will set you apart from the way most other guys approach her for a hug; almost like you're saying "hello" with your hands and easing her in close to you. Also it feels a lot smoother to go from a distant light touch and slide into a hug rather than a disconnected invitation followed by an awkward patting when your hands finally clasp around her. It will make you feel slick, like James Bond.
Take Your Hug to the Next Level
Hugging Tips and Techniques
While hugging, there is a movement I like to do that girls tend to respond very well to. It consists of allowing your fingertips to travel down her back just to the small of her back. Then, gently, with your palms, let your hands glide back up to her shoulder-blades and then repeat, going down her back with your fingertips. Keep your touch light and feel out how well she's responding. Use a firmer touch only if she's feeling it. This technique very closely resembles tantric massage strokes, so it may not be the best move to try out on someone you are not close with or if the moment isn't right. Did I mention anything about calibrating?
Let Go Gradually
When you come away from the hug many guys make the mistake of letting go all at once. From a tantric perspective, such a quick release is a shock to the system and just leaves her hanging. You said hello by meeting her gently with your fingertips and you should have the courtesy to say goodbye with the same gentle ease. Let your hands glide either back down her arms or back and with your fingertips gently slide off or if she seems like she might want another hug, keep contact for a little while, calibrate, and if so go back in for another.
How to Hug a Woman Romantically
What to Avoid When Hugging a Girl
- Never go too fast or hold her too hard. There are times when a passionate hug is appropriate. But your default should be to glide in and out with the fingertips regardless. The passion can follow once you're locked in an embrace.
- Avoid awkwardness. Take note of what kind of hugs will feel awkward for her body or yours and adjust to avoid them. I'm a very tall man, so typically a shorter woman hugs me around my waist or abdomen. I'll typically offset her a little to the side to avoid collisions and it works out because then she can place her ear on my chest.
- Don't get greedy. Hugging a girl too much or for too long can make you seem clingy rather than affectionate. Even if she's enjoying it or asking for it constantly, there is too much of a good thing and women really do like to feel like they deserve something nice rather than take that nice thing for granted.
- Get consent. NEVER hug a girl who obviously doesn't want to be hugged!
- Beware hugging a girl from behind. I can get away with it about 50% of the time, and that's only if she knows I'm there. It's generally more startling than exciting unless you've already hugged her from the front and then spin her around in which case I'd encourage you to do so! Remember to calibrate and keep contact with your fingertips while turning her.
On a personal note, I believe that a man should be able to express as much affection in a hug, a kiss, or gesture as he can with much more intimate actions. Think of a hug as a mini-version of intimacy and you'll have much more fun with it and have a much happier girl in your arms.
- Dr. Sam Dunn
Chase said piek upset on February 03, 2020:
Chase and ava
Ksburner on April 20, 2019:
I agree... bear hug. Makes them feel safe
Big Bear on June 11, 2018:
A hug is not for sexual intimacy. It is for friendship. It is supposed to be bone crushing bear hug. Else it does not mean good friendship. And yes, if boobs come in between, crush them against your chest as well.
Stephen pallas on February 04, 2018:
I’m always told I give great hugs, so from now on I’m gonna ask why and see if the response matches.
Jaxom Middleton on March 31, 2017:
The girl I hugged last night, who sadly I'm not in a relationship with does this thing were she tucks in her arms and has them over her chest, or sometimes one arm around my shoulder. We were laying on a bed and I wasn't sure were to go with this. Please help!
Zeah on December 05, 2016:
I agree with Frana. This sexism only degrades people. They way a guy hugs does not prove anything.
Brennon on September 09, 2016:
Thank you author and comment authors
Frana on September 08, 2016:
A woman doesn't need a man hugging her to feel like a woman; a man doens't need to hug a woman to feel like a man. A person's anture doesn't depend of the actions they exert. This type of sexism is tired and only harms people.
Martin on July 04, 2016:
I'm 14 my cousin hugged me for the first time yesterday she's as tall as me , and she said I'm a bad hugger and I felt bad but thanked god that it was my cousin not girlfriend, and I want some tips , I approached her with one arm over her shoulder and the other under (I'm not used to hugging girls but friends ) and gave a light touch , and suddenly escaped (one more stupid thing I did ) , so please, any tips ?
Elder Curtis Shelton from Stone Mountain on December 09, 2015:
I'm all for the hugs, I didn't hug in high school or middle school, in fact, I didn't start hugging until I saw this elder co-worker hugging and then I got the ideal; I started hugging ever since. right now I'm addicted to hugging. Now on my job, all the girls want to hug me, it's insane to say the lease.
Gavin sotona on October 15, 2015:
scott on June 11, 2015:
What if you like to hug everyone? Does it become a problem when your hug is just a friendly hug and you don't know them well?
Dhanwant on December 17, 2012:
Very Nice Tipssssssssssssssssss
Stupider now on December 16, 2012:
I would like to acknowledge that a doctor wrote this article. That is all.
idontgiveafuck on September 17, 2012:
this is bad advice!!!
CanadianDude on January 24, 2012:
Camo Girl!!! on January 05, 2012:
I love it when a guy is hagging me tight it makes me feel like he loves me and when guys hug girls light that is what moms and dads do to there kid not what guys do to there girlfriends!!! hug thght guys most girls like it and most guys do to the ones i know anyway!!!
john on January 02, 2012:
gud stuf i'll try it out.i waad hugging this girl once and i let go to soon and all of our friends(girls) were watching and i was so embarresaded!
Sojammin on December 15, 2011:
Yeah, the light caress is a nice touch. But I really like just going for the butt grab pick up. With a quarter turn drop. Light on the drop!
lol on November 22, 2011:
i know what he is saying i mean this dued hugged me so tight i though he was trying to crush my bones
Symo.. on November 13, 2011:
Great stuff.., 'more on that plzz....
naturalsolutions on September 12, 2011:
Holding hand, Hugs and kiss is very important in a relationship flesh to flesh contact aside from sex. Giving a woman a light and full of love hug is very easy when you really love your woman. But i have an advice, When you are hugging someone never be the first to loosen it.
Freehugger on August 02, 2011:
I approach light for a second, then a tight hug for say up to a whopping 5 seconds. And they still don't let go. :) I'm always pleasantly surprised which girl is enjoying it, its no particular type of girl, they all like it, but the married ones seem to like it the most esp right in front of the hubbie. :/ No shame! lol
Taku on April 28, 2011:
light hugs make me feel like they're saying "blahh", not "hello"
Jenn on February 26, 2011:
Really? Ahaha im a girl and I hate light hugs. I love really tight ones, because if not im just not satisfied! Ahaha if you're going to give a hug, make it a strong one! Light hugs just feel like a rip-off to me.
melmel on January 15, 2011:
wow, i wish all guys hugged like you do ;)
Fayyaz on December 28, 2010:
Beleive in feelings Techniques/ tips don't help how to manage !!!
Abe magsayo jr. on October 12, 2010:
I'm agreeing with Carmen ^^^
Abe magsayo jr. on October 12, 2010:
That is soo true!!!
ribha on September 27, 2010:
Ben on June 01, 2010:
wow you really care about hugs
Person Helper from Ireland on March 03, 2010:
Carmen Borthwick from Maple Ridge, B.C. on October 14, 2009:
Pretty sharp advise there Dharma Dynamic! Fantastic hub, I'll catch the others later.