This unisex guide will strip bare some of the things you need to know if you want to learn how to have meaningful sex. It is aimed at men, women, guys, girls, husbands, wives and all other partners alike. This article will stay away from cliché and vague advice, and touch the most tender nerve of a sexual encounter – finding true meaning in sex. Read on, take tips and enjoy your blissful trip to paradise.
1) Spice up your bedroom, before you even attempt to spice up your sex life
Without a doubt, your bedroom is going to be the most used place where you do sexual and non-sexual things to your partner in bed. Like every other thing in life, sexual escapades can become dull if you, excuse the not so sophisticated lingo, keep doing it at the same place all the time. While getting a new bedroom may not be the most financially viable option, you should try spicing up your bedroom.
Here are a few examples of how you can spice up your bedroom
- Buy rose petals and throw them all over your bedroom
- Experiment with different shades of lighting
- Experiment with satin and other types of exotic bed linen
- Switch off the lights and make love while your room is dimly lit by candles
- Experiment with different fragrances and aromas, whether it is from flowers or aroma candles
- Play soothing and romantic background music
2) Plan for sex with your partner
While many gurus will tell you to keep sex as a spur of the moment kind of thing, planning can often make sex a wonderful experience. Planning will allow you to chose where you want to make love with your partner, how you want to go about it, plan your very own experiments and playful games in bed, and most importantly, allow you to keep yourself free from other distractions like work, family and friends.
Example: If you and your partner decide to make love on Thursday evening, you can cancel all your after work or after study plans for Thursday, finish all your important appointments, look after family, arrange for food and maybe even a glass of wine, prepare yourself for a playful game in bed and be all set for a romantic and an uninterrupted rendezvous. Don't forget to switch your cell phones off!
3) Make love as if it is your first time with your girlfriend or boyfriend
Sex lives of couples can become boring and bland over time. Really, there's no escaping that unless you put in conscious effort to keep your romps inside the bedroom fun, enjoyable and meaningful. One way to escape this whirlpool of boredom and nonchalant attitude towards sex is to try to make love as if it was your first time.
Treat every sexual encounter with your girlfriend or boyfriend as the first and last time you are going to have sex with them. Why? Because the very thought of "behaving like you're having sex for the first time" will make you behave like a curious teenage lover about to lose his/her virginity.
4) Make love on a weekend away
Getting away from the rut of life is one of the easiest ways to have meaningful sex. Simply because it will allow you and your partner, girlfriend or boyfriend to take your mind away from the worries of real life problems and go away to a blissful and romantic land of love and hot times spent in the bed.
Household chores, routine, studying, working, social meetings, family and other elements of the rut of your life can take its toll on you and your sex life. Try escaping from this routine every once in a while and go for a weekend away. Not with your friends, not with family, not with any other company – Just the two of you. Mind you, your weekend away does not need to bore a hole in your pockets either. It can be something as simple as spending a night at a lakeside caravan park in the country side. Any place is fine as long as it does not remind you about the worries of your next project at work or the next big submission at college.
5) Avoid one night stands: They are exactly opposite of meaningful
The concept of a one night stand itself revolves around having sex with a stranger who you are not likely to meet again. One night stands are also often a result of drinking too much on a night out, getting high at a house party, peer pressure at school or college, unwanted advances at a party or other situations in which you may not be in your best decision making capacity.
As self explanatory as it sounds, this is not the way you can have meaningful sex. Ladies and gentlemen, guys and girls, there is a reason why leaving a man's room in the morning after a one night stand is known as "The walk of shame" Stay away from meaningless sex, avoid one night stands and indulge into passionate and fiery times in the bed with your partner, girlfriend or boyfriend.
6) Don't make love to come, make love to explore your partner's body: Use your senses
As you may have guessed already, "come" has been used in a certain context to keep things PG around here. While animals and primates make love to simply come and reproduce, we are much more evolved species. Let's use evolution to our advantage and make use of our sense of smell, sight, touch, taste and hearing. Use these senses to explore your partner's body and how he/she reacts to every move you make in the bed.
- Use your sense of smell to know your partner's unique body smell and remember it. Whenever you are away from your partner and miss him/her, simply take a deep breath and remember the way your partner's naked body smells.
- Use your sense of touch to tickle your partner and find out his/her ticklish spots. Play around with these spots because meaningful sex is a lot more than simple back and forth movements.
- Use your sense of sight to look into your partner's eyes and communicate by just looking into each other's eyes while you are both on cloud 9.
- Use your sense of hearing to consciously listen to the sounds your partner makes while you do things to him/her. Only those who have experienced meaningful sex in its true for will tell you that these sounds will keep ringing in your head for days, weeks and months to come. Pure bliss, don't you think?
- Use your sense of taste to taste your partner's body. That taste will leave your taste buds tingling for more.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
scuffer12345 from CUYAHOGA FALLS, OH on March 06, 2012:
Love these suggestions, After a year subscription to Glamour and Cosmopolitan where every issue had something about sex, this was refreshing