As you can probably judge from my French name, I have a leg up in this whole French kissing game. Indeed, French kissing runs in my blood.
So you're thinking about French kissing someone, huh? Well, change into those PJs and break out the nail polish! We've got some fun chatting to do, just you and me. By the end, you'll be all set to French kiss a boy (or girl) and oh la la, will you ever French kiss WELL! Let's get started, mon petit cherie.
French Kissing 101
As you can probably judge from my French name, I have a leg up in this whole French kissing game. Indeed, French kissing runs in my blood, as I descend from a Parisian-raised French war bride whose smooching was so top-notch, she snagged herself an American war hero in no time flat.
To be honest, my initial response when asked for pointers on this end is "Just KISS! It's natural."
But maybe it isn't. So let's break it DOWN, guurlfraaaain!
Before we get into the details, can I just say that this person you're thinking about kissing is one lucky dude/dudette? You're quite a catch! Actually, realizing just how fabulous you are helps in the kissing department. Confidence is key, but beyond confidence, you DO need to possess some basic kissing skills. I cover those in another guide. Go ahead and review it if you want a refresher. I'll wait.
Chances are that you're comfortable with kissing, so let's move on.
French kissing is only different from basic kissing in that there is a bit of tongue involved. The key to French kissing well involves one's finesse and technique. To understand those elements, it helps to distinguish between French kissing and what I like to refer to as American kissing.
French vs. American Kissing
France and America are exceedingly different countries. Personality-wise, France is more laid-back, romantic, and classy, while America is more young, rebellious, and ambitious. While these American attributes may offer a leg up in business or sports, they do NOT help in the kissing department.
American kissing is characterized by being:
- Too aggressive
Avoid American kissing. Stick to French kissing (or Freedom kissing, if you must).
French Kissing, a Step by Step Guide
At this point, I think you're ready for some honest-to-goodness French kissing pointers. Let's make them sequential. What's not to like about a walkthrough?
- Start with normal kissing (only Maori warriors come at their opponents with their tongues lolling, and they're not doing it to turn anyone on).
- In the midst of your (I should hope) enjoyable kiss, part your lips (just a tad—you're not trying to eat a burger, bucko).
- Let your tongue take a small exploratory venture out of your mouth. Just a dip. Maybe give your partner's lip a teensy lick. Nothing crazy. This is your way of saying "Hey dude! You up for this?" If your partner does not react favorably (it takes two to French), do not proceed.
- If your partner reacts favorably, feel free to be a little more forward and be a bit more exploratory. Maybe you and your partner's tongues will get to know each other. Maybe you'll try kissing a bit deeper. Maybe your tongue will take a little stroll around your partner's lips. Mix it up. No need to give me a play-by-play. You've got it from here, kid.
French Kissing Tips
Here are some generally accepted words of wisdom from both myself and friends/acquaintances:
- Hold the mouth breathing for later down the line - Sharing breath is all fine and dandy, but I recommend starting off by breathing through your nose. It's more polite.
- Never underestimate the value of oral hygiene and breath mints
- Use your body - Kissing is all fine and dandy, but you don't want to just stand there, leaning towards each other, do you? Feel free to use your hands, try out different embraces, blah blah blah. Don't forget that this is a whole-body experience, kiddies.
- Watch the teeth - banging teeth can hurt, so when changing positions or angles, be careful! Especially be careful if both you and your partners have braces. God knows you like kissing, but you don't want to get hooked together by your orthodontia.
- Change things up - If you realize that you and your partner only French kiss the same way, like, you always have tongue-thumbwars, or you always kiss super deeply, consider spicing things up with something different- perhaps a little lip nibble, or a less visited area of the mouth. Kissing should be anything but boring. For more ways to keep it fresh, check out the tips below, courtesy of previous readers who were kind enough to share their tips and tricks in the comments.
- End gracefully - When you're finished with your mind-blowingly awesome kiss and want a break to get some air, just transition the kiss into a normal kiss and you're good to go.
French Kissing DON'Ts
While there are plenty of things one SHOULD do when French kissing, there are plenty of things one should avoid. Many of the DON'Ts outlined below bring one into the territory of American kissing, mentioned above. Most of these things are obvious, but hey, it never hurts to bring them up. Knowledge is power!
- Don't start out aggressively - As I mentioned above, you don't want to immediately start off kissing with your tongue. That is not French kissing; that's American kissing, in the most classic sense. And not in a good way.
- Don't keep your eyes open the whole time - Yeah, some folks like to kiss with their eyes open, but man, can it ever weird people out. So until you discover that your partner is into open-eye kissing, I recommend closing your eyes before making contact. You're not missing out on much by closing your eyes. Pores look kind of gross close-up.
- Don't get caught up in the details - Though feeling someone else's molars with your tongue may be an interesting experience, keep in mind that you're not here to perform a cleaning.
- Don't be a dead fish - French kissing is not really French kissing unless both parties are involved. Don't make your partner do all the work! Don't just sit there! Do your part!
I sincerely hope this guide has been helpful, and that you're all set to go off and French kiss to your heart's delight!
Are you an expert French kisser? Do you have a particularly awesome pointer? Leave it in the comments below! Goodness know different folks have all sorts of interesting tips and anecdotes. Why not share them?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.