So you're thinking about French kissing someone, huh?
Well, change into those PJ's and break out the nail polish! We've got some fun chatting to do, just you and me. By the end, you'll be all set to French kiss a boy (or girl)- and oh la la, will you ever French kiss WELL! Let's get started, mon petit cherie.
French Kissing 101
As you can probably judge from my French name, I have a leg up in this whole French kissing game. Indeed, French kissing runs in my blood, as I descend from a Parisian-raised French war bride whose smooching was so top-notch, she snagged herself an American war hero in no time flat.
To be honest, my initial response when asked for pointers on this end is "Just KISS! It's natural."
But maybe it isn't. So let's break it DOWN, guurlfraaaain!
Before we get into the details, can I just say that this person you're thinking about kissing is one lucky dude/tte? You're quite a catch! Actually, realizing just how fabulous you are helps in the kissing department. Confidence is key, but beyond confidence, you DO need to possess some basic kissing skills. I cover those in another guide. Go ahead and review it if you want a refresher. I'll wait.
Chances are that you're comfortable with kissing, so let's move on.
French kissing is only different from basic kissing in that there is a bit of tongue involved. The key to French kissing well involves one's finesse and technique. To understand those elements, it helps to distinguish between French kissing and what I like to refer to as American kissing
French vs. American Kissing
France and America are exceedingly different countries. Personality-wise, France is more laid-back, romantic, and classy, while America is more young, rebellious, and ambitious. While these American attributes may offer a leg up in business or sports, they do NOT help in the kissing department.
American kissing is characterized by being:
- Too aggressive
Avoid American kissing. Stick to French kissing (or Freedom kissing, if you must).
French Kissing - Step by Step
At this point, I think you're ready for some honest to goodness French kissing pointers. Let's make them sequential. What's not to like about a walkthrough?
- Start with normal kissing (only Maori warriors come at their opponents with their tongues lolling, and they're not doing it to turn anyone on)
- In the midst of your (I should hope) enjoyable kiss, part your lips just a tad (you're not trying to eat a burger, bucko)
- Let your tongue take a small exploratory venture out of your mouth. Just a peek. Maybe give your partner's lip a teensy lick. Nothing crazy. This is your way of saying "Hey dude! You up for this?" If your partner does not react favorably (it takes two to French), do not proceed.
- If your partner reacts favorably, feel free to be a little more forward and be a bit more exploratory. Maybe you and your partner's tongues will get to know each other. Maybe you'll try kissing a bit deeper. Maybe your tongue will take a little stroll around your partners lips. Mix it up. No need to give me a play-by-play. You've got it from here, kid.
French Kissing Tips
Here are some generally accepted words of wisdom from both myself and friends/acquaintances:
- Hold the mouth breathing for later down the line - Sharing breath is all fine and dandy, but I recommend starting off by breathing through your nose. It's more polite.
- Never underestimate the value of oral hygiene and breath mints
- Use your body - Kissing is all fine and dandy, but you don't want to just stand there, leaning towards each other, do you? Feel free to use your hands, try out different embraces, blah blah blah. Don't forget that this is a whole body experience, kiddies.
- Watch the teeth - banging teeth can hurt, so when changing positions or angles, be careful! Especially be careful if both you and your partners have braces. God knows you like kissing, but you don't want to get hooked together by your orthodontia.
- Change things up - If you realize that you and your partner only French kiss the same way, like, you always have tongue-thumbwars, or you always kiss super deeply, consider spicing things up with something different- perhaps a little lip nibble, or a less visited area of the mouth. Kissing should be anything but boring. For more ways to keep it fresh, check out the tips below, courtesy of previous readers who were kind enough to share their tips and tricks in the comments.
- End gracefully - When you're finished with your mind-blowingly awesome kiss and want a break to get some air, just transition the kiss into a normal kiss and you're good to go.
French Kissing DON'Ts
While there are plenty of things one SHOULD do when French kissing, there are plenty of things one should avoid. Many of the DON'Ts outlined below bring one into the territory of American kissing, mentioned above. Most of these things are obvious, but hey... it never hurts to bring them up. Knowledge is power!
- Starting out aggressively - As I mentioned above, you don't want to immediately start off kissing with tongue. That is not French kissing; that's American kissing, in the most classic sense. And not in a good way.
- Keeping your eyes open the whole time - Yeah, some folks like to kiss with their eyes open, but man, can it ever weird people out. So until you discover that your partner is into open-eye kissing, I recommend closing your eyes before making contact. You're not missing out on much by closing your eyes. Pores look kind of gross close-up.
- Getting caught up in the details - Though feeling someone else's molars with your tongue may be an interesting experience, keep in mind that you're not here to perform a cleaning.
- Being a dead fish - French kissing is not really French kissing unless both parties are involved. Don't make your partner do all the work! Don't just sit there! Do your part!
I sincerely hope this guide has been helpful, and that you're all set to go off and French kiss to your heart's delight!
Are you an expert French kisser? Do you have a particularly awesome pointer? Leave it in the comments below! Goodness know different folks have all sorts of interesting tips and anecdotes. Why not share them?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
TheStruggle on June 12, 2019:
My boyfriend is being very patient with me and I really really want to french kiss him and I've read so many articles on it and it's something I know how to do I explained how to do it for my best friend so she can french her boyfriend but I've never been able to actually do it he isn't aggressive about it at all and he's super sweet he'll ask if I want to try and wait patiently for me to kiss him and then he puts his tongue in my mouth and I just go blank I can't remember a single thing, I guess I don't know how to respond to a frenchie but I don't have the guts to start it. Yup so there's my little rant I hope this entertained someone's day.
ilve on April 02, 2018:
i french kissed my boyfriend the other day at disco and it was AMAZING Because of this thank you xx
misiwe on September 01, 2017:
Thanks for your help
Laney Scalzo on June 07, 2017:
I'm never kissed a guy before and this weekend me and my boyfriend are making out in my bed and he said we r going to French kiss I don't know how
Chance on September 01, 2016:
Oh myyyyy. Thank you for writing this hub. I read it, then sent the link to my sweet hubby of 23 years, and well, WOW! He knocked my socks off when he kissed me last night - I swooned a bit, he looked down at me with an evil little grin and said, "I read the article." Yes, yes he did! So thanks very much!
. on October 03, 2014:
I am going to kiss the boy I like but I'm not sure if I can do it.....
Btw"s I am only in 4th
[Insert name here] on January 31, 2014:
Great tips to try for when me and my boyfriend finally decide to have a french kiss.
schoolgirlforreal on January 25, 2014:
Good advice! I could do it for hours ;)
Jordan876 on January 05, 2014:
I've never kissed anyone before and I
am kinda scared. They say that nature just takes it's course but I dont find that true even though how would I know right. I really like this guy but I don't know how to tell him and I don't want things to get akward. Btw I'm in 6th grade
kk on November 14, 2013:
Hey French kissing is all fine and all but u sound like u r talking about 12 year Olds saying dude and stuff like that but u know I am just trying to help, if u want some 12 13 11 year old stuff u should check out some other stuff for a bit and don't worry about French kissing and having sec and all that stuff until u r old enough because that gets on guys nerves some times!!!
Carrie Lee Night from Northeast United States on September 15, 2013:
Never heard of anyone writing a guide on french kissing....this was a very interesting and suprisely good hub :) I think your hints and advice are spot on. Thank you for writing this hub :) Have a wonderful week.
Cwalk0014 on June 02, 2013:
Hi thank you for the advise, it was very useful. Though I thought that I'd let you know that "French Kissing" didn't even come from France..
The origin of the french kiss comes from when the Romany gypsies fed their children as babies ,the chewed the food up in their mouths until it was fine enough for the infant to digest and then they passed it into the mouth using their tongue .no plates no jars of food and no washing up also it was said that the saliva from the mothers mouth helped the child develop immunities as it grew. Which this became know as "French Kissing". So the fact that your name is French origin an you know a lot about French Kissing they have nothing to do with the other.
Alison on May 01, 2013:
hi, im 13 years old and my boyfriend seems bored with me because im kinda frigid. My best friend pashed her guy the other day and i think he's feeling left out. I've NEVER pashed anyone before and this site was very helpful. Probs wont be back on this so yea bye unknown peepx lol
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on January 24, 2013:
Thanks Sharkeye11! I love how random your discovery was- and am glad you found the Hub by chance. We could all use a few chuckles every now and then!
Jayme Kinsey from Oklahoma on January 21, 2013:
Haha. Great hub! I'm not sure how I got here though...I am pretty sure I was looking at quilts, which led to Valentine's crafts. The next thing I know I am receiving a lesson in French Kissing? Oh well, I had fun reading it, and a couple of good chuckles. I just love imagining the thought of two people locked together at the braces!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on January 07, 2013:
Oh, well played, lelicia!
lelicia on January 04, 2013:
thnx for the french kiss a boy steps I did a great job my bf wns 2 marry me after the frst kiss lol
rebecca on December 20, 2012:
Ugh nasty...my first guy slobbered all over my face!
SkillsTh@kill on October 05, 2012:
Practice makes perfect... also communication is key... don't be afraid to talk to your partner about what you like and don't like. Always go in with the intention of pleasing the other person, and look for subtle hints to try and gauge when your doing what your partner likes since every person will like different things... Variety is good, kissing for minutes on end can desensitise you and make things dull. Anyway the tip I have doesn't have soo much to do with the physical part as it has with the emotional factor . While in the middle of your long and Passionate snog, slow down just alil and break away slightly, your partner will likely open their eyes at which point a very near perfect opportunity to gaze into each others eyes will become available, Hold your partners gaze for just a moment, and I guarantee the next time your lips meet it will be twice as passionate, and twice as pleasing...
jane on August 23, 2012:
Ever since i receive a spell from firstname.lastname@example.org,my bf has really been showing more concern in our relationship. He told me to stay calm and let the spell do it’s work, which indeed it did. Not even 3-4 days later, Wells called me and asked me out for a drink. He apologized to me and sincerely begged me for forgiveness and to give him another chance. I loved this man so much, I could not say no. He now treats me like a princess better than before if I may briefly add,Priest Olarewaju made a believer out of me. I wrote to him and apologized for my rudeness and lack of trust and patience. He also explained to me that magic is not like a push-button kind of thing. It sometimes takes longer than anticipated but it always works and he was right.He actually a light to me and he ca be the same to you!
shiftyfly2 on July 07, 2012:
OMG! Can't wait to try this techn
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on May 29, 2012:
Hehehee, thanks Suzie HQ! I have fun joking around, at least. I hope you're having fun so far!
Suzanne Ridgeway from Dublin, Ireland on May 24, 2012:
Hi Simone, AWESOME hub on the art of a great french smoocher!!!! Fabulicious reading, as a newbie i am still finding my feet but enjoying all hub life has to offer and look forward to reading more of your articles, very very intriguing titles!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on April 03, 2012:
Way to go, Aubrey! I bet you're a total pro now ;) Have fun!
Aubrey on April 02, 2012:
Simone this helped me Soooooooo much. I kissed my boyfriend for the first time a couple weeks ago. And this gave me some if the best tips ever.
sophi on March 20, 2012:
i really needed this ty!!!!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 28, 2012:
Glad to hear it, mia :D
mia on February 25, 2012:
i am 12 years old and ive french kissed two guys and this weekend ill be kissing the second one some more.. its really nice and fun!!
Alice Tosato on February 08, 2012:
I Like it , it is lovely
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on February 02, 2012:
Way to go, jerzygirl8!
jerzygirl8 on February 02, 2012:
wow this wuz very helpful i read it last week and me nd my bf kissed to day and he sayd i wuz the best kisser in the world nd i would nt be able to do it with out thiz hub thaxxxxxx
The whisper on January 08, 2012:
GREAT HUB! Ive only French kissed one girl in my life (current girlfriend) an she say I'm AMAZING! THANKS MAN!!!!
Sheila Lee from Canada on January 03, 2012:
Very well put! Love your writing style, you hit all the points. Can't wait to read more of your hubs. Awesome!
Brittany!!! on January 02, 2012:
I Am A Teen To 17 And I Have French Kissed About 4 Guy In My Life And They All Said That I Am Good At It!!!
natasha on January 01, 2012:
I still don't get it
sammy on December 31, 2011:
wow thay was a gr8 tip thx
brittneyandtrent on December 21, 2011:
All day every day baby!!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 20, 2011:
trentandbrittney on December 20, 2011:
brittney is such a good french kisser. and shes not even french!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 19, 2011:
Wow Allison. You know what you want and you're getting it!
Princess Pitt, I am glad to hear you giggling. Because that's the kind of thing I had in mind when I was writing this guide. Though... all of the tips included ARE genuine. Happy snogging!
Princess Pitt on December 18, 2011:
LOL.LOL.LOL. Im giggling all over here..never tried that yet..! well i just turned 20...sOoooo..perhaps! Im just gonna wait until ill go get back my first love!
Allison on December 16, 2011:
I am 12 yrs old and my 11 yr old boyfriend asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said a kiss and next time I go over to his house or he comes over to mine I' ll be smoochin it up! The thing is its my first kiss....thx for the advice!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on December 09, 2011:
Thanks Selena! I'm so glad you found this helpful, Britany Cozad. And best of luck to you, Shaleigh Mayo!
shaleigh mayo on December 03, 2011:
thanks hpoe it works
Britany Cozad on November 18, 2011:
I am a teen and i found this sooo help ful
selena 16 on October 24, 2011:
wow your a realy good writter and that piece of information has been great use for me! I hope u continue what your doing because its very good.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on August 05, 2011:
That's what we think these days, peterose27. Too bad Nazca kissing has become a lost art.
peterose27 on August 05, 2011:
It`s the Only Way to Kiss!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on August 05, 2011:
Well, some people like open-eye kisses, felicitylovespari, so don't knock 'em entirely! That said, it's best to keep eyes closed until you figure out your partner's style- more people express a dislike for open-eye kisses than a fondness for them.
And I think mixing it up is an excellent approach, DREAM ON. And yeah! Major points to Cagsil for that one!
DREAM ON on August 04, 2011:
What a good read for any time of the day.I like to switch it up with little kisses and then a little french kissing,then stop and back to the little kisses always leaving the person wanting more.There will be lots more if the hubbers follow your advice mmmm that is nice.Thanx again for something we all thought we knew.But the underside of the tongue that is a good one.
felicitylovespari on August 03, 2011:
COOL!!...i didn't know that eyes wide open while kissing is a big "NO_NO"...ahahah...cool!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on August 03, 2011:
Hahaa, indeed! Have fun, acaetnna!
acaetnna from Guildford on August 03, 2011:
Wow this was great - I love reading information like this, makes be really want to go into action right now!!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 20, 2011:
Go for it, onethousandpoems!
onethousandpoems on July 20, 2011:
I would like to French kiss my girlfriend. Thanks for such great tips Simone.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 14, 2011:
Oh, they TOTALLY should. And sounds like you were writing that comment in the midst of some EXCELLENT French kissing weather.
epigramman on July 13, 2011:
......this is better than reading Cosmopolitan magazine - and although they may cover the same territory - I really think the editors should hire you on with a paid gig in mind because your writing style is charming, sassy, slightly irreverent and dare I say, tongue in cheek!
lake erie time 9:07pm Ontario, Canada with literally a full moon over the lake right now
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 13, 2011:
Thanks KMattox!! When it comes to such subjects as this, the funniness is somewhat inevitable :D
KMattox from USA on July 13, 2011:
Simone, you're hilarious! I think you've got a new follower. I voted up and funny.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 07, 2011:
Tehehee! Thanks K9keystrokes! Good kisses are key, aren't they? And nibbles are the best! I should add in an extra note about that.
Thanks Winsome :D And I just read "Singularity" and you sure did! Great point about atmosphere though. I'll add that, and a link to the poem, to this Hub.
Winsome from Southern California by way of Texas on July 06, 2011:
Absolutely delightful--especially your wrapping up comments after each tip. I put all my experience into my "Singularity" hub, but I will say that atmosphere can add a lot. A fun follow up hub could be "some of the most romantic places to kiss in...."
Keep on being you, we're all trying to keep up. =:)
India Arnold from Northern, California on July 06, 2011:
This is top-notch Simone! Nothing is more intimate than a good kiss! I find your approach to subject very fun as well as informational. Nothing says, "this is hot" like a little lip nibbling on your way to a sensational French kiss! Up and awesome!
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 06, 2011:
Oh, and thanks DentalHelper84! GO FOR IT!!! And if you pick up any new moves, do share 'em here and we'll add them to the guide, hehee >_
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 06, 2011:
It's a fun niche, A.A. Zavala! Not gonna lie.
And lorlie6, your praise means a lot to me! Thank you, ever so :D And hey- if you don't like calling me the sh*t, you may always refer to me as The Turd.
Jeez, Om. You always have the best ideas. I ought to try the same thing. Perhaps I'll top if off with a ninja costume and yell "ATTACK KISS!" before moving in. Just for fun.
Om Paramapoonya on July 04, 2011:
Thanks for your valuable advice, Simone. I'll try these techniques with a total stranger. He might freak out in the beginning, but his panic would quickly be melted by my masterful kiss. =D
Laurel Rogers from Bishop, Ca on July 03, 2011:
Gawd, I hate saying this but, "You're the sh*t!" Ahh, Simone, your personality is finally showing itself in all its glory-keep it up-if you get my drift...haha. Too drippingly much, you gorgeous one, you!
Augustine A Zavala from Texas on July 02, 2011:
Yummy. Good training hub. Looks like you've found your niche, helping people get lucky.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 02, 2011:
Thanks KoffeeKlatch Gals! I never would have thought of this either. I owe the idea for this Hub to another HubPages team member :D
I totally agree with you, FCEtier. Lots of teens could benefit from developing some finesse in the French kissing department.
Indonesian kisses- those are foreign territory to me, prasetio30! I bet they're just as interesting as French ones; most undeniably better than American ones XD
Rock on, Peter Dickinson! You've got it going on! It's fascinating that those five kisses in particular stand out so clearly in your memory. You make an excellent point about the importance of the individual one is kissing. Technique can only go so far- there must be a spark!
Exactly my intention, Wesman Todd Shaw. Glad to see it worked! Gotta keep people balanced, right?
Thank you so much for the high compliments, MartieCoetser! And do give Cag's trick a try! I'd love to hear how it works out for various people, teheheheee ;P
Isn't it fun, JSParker? I love how Hubs are perfect for that kind of format- how perfect they are for regular updating and the like. I hope this one only gets better and more useful with time.
And yep- Alladream74. Thanks for stopping by :)
Victor Mavedzenge from Oakland, California on July 02, 2011:
JSParker from Detroit, Michigan on July 02, 2011:
I love the way you've made this Hub interactive by including suggestions from commenting Hubbers right in the body of your Hub! How clever.
Martie Coetser from South Africa on July 02, 2011:
Simone, this lecture on The French Kiss is one of the most enjoyable hubs I’ve read in a long time. Can’t find enough buttons to vote this one up. (I have no choice but to copy this applause coined by Saddlerider.) I’m sharing this excellent lecture with all my friends and relatives.
PS.: I’ll try Cagsil’s tip whenever I get the wonderful opportunity to kiss again. Perhaps I should go out and find myself a guinea-pig :))))
Wesman Todd Shaw from Kaufman, Texas on July 02, 2011:
You had me all . . . .hm, let's just call it "charged up," okay? Then I got down to old Gene, and it twas like a bucket O' Ice water hit me in the face - combined, somehow as it was, with an exasperated "LOL!"
Peter Dickinson from South East Asia on July 02, 2011:
Great article Simone and one which more should read. I love French kissing and have done since I was first introduced to it more than 50 years ago. I must have French kissed more than a thousand women over the years and continue to kiss more (I suppose to some this makes me old and therefore gross but I don't care) and enjoy and have never had a complaint yet.
Whereas all your advice is great there is that little 'extra' which certain special people have. Out of all my kisses shared there were five who literally knocked me out of my shoes. Really memorable. One when I was 12, one at 16, one at 59 and two others more recently. Long may they continue.
prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on July 02, 2011:
Wow....this was valuable information from you. I had never knew about this before. Maybe I just know Indonesian kiss. Thanks for share with us. I learn much from you. Well done, my friend. Rated up!
Love and peace, prasetio
Chip from Cold Mountain on July 02, 2011:
Voted up! Wish I had known this when I was in college... more teens should read this!
Susan Hazelton from Sunny Florida on July 01, 2011:
Simone, once again you have written a terrific hub. I would never have thought of writing a hub like this. Up and awesome.
Simone Haruko Smith (author) from San Francisco on July 01, 2011:
Thanks JSParker! SO adding that to the Hub, with due credit, of course :D
And goodness gracious, Cags, what an interesting tip! I think I know what you're talking about. Must find a victim-er... friend... to go test that out on. Definitely making a note of that in the Hub.
Tehee, thanks Mutiny92! And congrats on the move! Virginia is so gorgeous.
Mutiny92 from Arlington, VA on July 01, 2011:
Simone, you do such a wonderful job with these. I am in the car, moving to Virginia and read this one to my wife. You do a wonderful job writing!
Raymond D Choiniere from USA on July 01, 2011:
Hey Simone, I have one thing that I learned about French Kissing and I'll gladly share it with whomever chooses to listen. I do have others, but one of the most important aspects of the kiss is in getting your partner to receive an enjoyable experience and to do that is to find their sensitive spot, which is directly under their tongue. I have learned that many women I have kissed get turned on even more when it's a soft stroke, rotated either left or right, but gently caresses the under side of her tongue. I've heard more groans/moans from receiving this particular technique. Their grips/grasp intensifies and it ignites a little bit of passion. It has to be done properly, otherwise, it's just another kiss. :) Interesting hub you've written. Thank you for sharing.
JSParker from Detroit, Michigan on July 01, 2011:
Very cool hub. Voted funny. May I add that a little light tongue flicking and tiny nibbles at the ear add a nice side dish.