As a social worker and a teacher, as trite as it may sound, I'm always striving to make the world a better place in some way.
Avoiding the Goodnight Kiss
Sometimes a date just doesn't go as well as you had hoped. And maybe it went better in your date's eyes. Perhaps this is the last time you want to see that other person, or maybe you just don't want to kiss on the first date.
You're anticipating what will happen at the end of the night and are fervently hoping that the other party is hoping for a hug at most.
If you have that horrible blind date set-up on Valentine's Day or anytime, you may want to find a way to avoid the goodnight kiss at the end of the evening. Whether you're a man or a woman, there are ways you can avoid that kiss at the end of the night.
1. Keep Your Distance
In order to avoid the dreaded kiss at the end of the night, just keep your distance. Keep a few healthy feet between you; you can even back away if he or she creeps closer. If you know early on that this person just isn't for you, start distancing yourself as early in the evening as possible.
As the awkward possible first kiss approaches, don't engage in meaningful conversation. Chat instead about the weather, or, better yet, about how tired you are, how busy you are the next day, and how you absolutely have to be going. Don't linger. Just walk away.
Bad lips or bad breath
If you have a cold or chapped lips, you're in business. If your blemishes are not obvious, then just mention—several times—how sore or dry your lips are. Say how afraid you are they will crack with this cold, dry, winter weather.
If you know early enough in the evening that there is no way you want to kiss this person, eat lots of onions or smelly fish when you go out to dinner earlier in the evening. Eat lots of smelly foods and breathe heavily into your date's face whenever possible.
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2. Say You Are Sick
I would hate for anyone to lie, but are you really lying if you are really, really sick of the date and just want to go home? Surely your tummy is hurting or your head is pounding. Maybe you could cough or sneeze a little bit? If you could run to the ladies' or men's room and vomit, then you are sure to seal a no-kiss evening with the lingering scent from your lips.
If you really can't come up with an illness and don't want to blatantly lie without evidence of even an upset tummy, then there are other ways to avoid the goodnight kiss. Just pick an excuse and go with it.
More Tips on Avoiding a Kiss
3. Cough and Clear Your Throat
Despite your intentions throughout the night to give the signal that a kiss at the door just isn't happening, you may still fear that your partner may think differently. There are some last-ditch efforts at the end of the night that you can certainly implement.
If, at the moment, you feel the impending unwanted kiss, cough and clear your throat off and on. Hack up some stuff and spit if you need to. Be as unattractive as you can. A burp would be a nice touch if you can pull it off. Do what you can to ruin the moment.
4. Turn the Other Cheek
Seriously, and literally, turning the other cheek can save you from an unwanted kiss. If he or she swoops in, turn your cheek, whether the right or the left one. It doesn't matter. Just turn that cheek to let the kiss fall on it. Give a quick hug if you have to and say your goodbyes.
It is important at this point to follow the previous advice and don't linger. Back off and just walk away. Walk away.
But What If You Want to Kiss Goodnight?
Okay, so now you have some ways to avoid kissing goodnight after your date. However, what if the date does go well, and you do want that goodnight kiss? Well, that's another situation entirely. Do the opposite of the advice given in this article.
For now, I hope that you have some ideas that will help save you from that awkward moment when you are struggling to avoid the unwanted kiss. Good luck!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.