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Secrets of How to Get a Girl to Kiss You

Kissing Tips Made Easy

Gentlemen, if you are asking the question, "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" and you want the perfect answer, you've come to the right place. To guys who already know the answer to this question, the answers are obvious. To those guys who have no clue, they will seem like secrets that are worth their weight in gold. Here's the key:

You don't make a girl kiss you.

Girls do not do the kissing. Men do the kissing. Women, girls, and ladies get kissed. If you don't understand exactly what I'm saying here, then it's no wonder you are asking this question. You, my dear sir, have been taking exactly the wrong approach to the whole kissing thing.

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Success!

Success!

Improve Your Dating Skills

In fact, if you have the right dating skills, you will never ask the question, "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" Instead, you will always be asking the question: "How and when am I going to kiss this girl?" If a girl is attracted to you, she is asking herself, "When is he going to kiss me?" In that situation, a girl wants to be kissed. A girl does not ask herself the question, "When am I going to kiss him?" Gentlemen, if you are waiting for a girl to kiss you, you are going to be waiting a long time. Girls want to be kissed but they don't want to make the first move.

Kissing is about confidence and it is the gauge all women use to measure a man's confidence. If you are trying to get a girl to kiss you, then you have zero confidence. You are afraid that if you try to kiss the girl, she will reject you. Guess what? Everyone has that fear about dating. Get over it.

Girls are just as confused about you as you are about them. We women get insecure, too. Sometimes we get anxious when you don't try to kiss us. As we're wondering why you're not trying to kiss us, we're also wondering if you think we're too fat, too ugly, too smelly, too short, etc. You name it, we're thinking it. Aside from being fun, kissing reassures us that you like us and that our feelings are reciprocated. If you don't kiss us, then we think you don't want to or that you're not attracted to us. Would you want somebody to tell you that you were ugly? So kiss the girl already. She wants you to kiss her because she wants to know that you like her. She wants a signal, and it's up to you to give it to her.

Basic Kissing Advice

Give yourself a maximum number of dates before you go in for a kiss.

Give yourself a maximum number of dates before you go in for a kiss.

Here are some basic tips about when to kiss a girl and when not to kiss a girl. I'm just tossing these in here as a bonus because this article is a little short, and I want you to get maximum value out of it. I also want to keep people from thinking they can do something to get girls to kiss them. So here are my tips:

Don't Wait Too Long

If you're in a dating situation, you should give yourself a maximum number of dates you will go on before you move in for a kiss, like three. Most women think that three is probably a bit long, but it's also not too long that we'll think you're weird either. The reason for the date maximum: who wants to waste that much time finding out if there's any chemistry there? And guess what, if that first date goes well, she'll want to be kissed. Too many guys think that if they wait to kiss a girl they're increasing their chances of success. It's exactly the opposite.

Make that First Kiss Short, Sweet, and Gentle

The key to the first kiss is to leave the girl wanting more. Make sense? That first kiss should not be about proving what a great kisser you are, or how long you can kiss, or how long your tongue is. It should be brief. No matter how nervous you are, try to make it seem like the most natural thing in the world. You can linger a bit, but don't overstay your welcome. A short, good kiss shows a woman that you know what you're doing and have confidence that she'll want more.

Don't Say Anything

The only reason you should open your mouth is to part your lips as you move in for the kiss. Absolutely, positively don't allow any words to come out of your mouth. And whatever you do, never ask a girl if you can kiss her. Just do it. You'll find out right away if she's going to let you.

Move Slowly

In reference to the point above, since you're not going to say anything, you need to move at a slow, predictable pace. She's not an escaped chicken you have to jump on. As you move in, the girl will know what's going on, but you've got to give her a chance to react. If you're going light speed because you're nervous or whatever, the girl might duck out of the way. Move too fast and you give the impression that you're lacking confidence.

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What to Do When Kissing Goes Wrong

If the girl turns her head and gives you the cheek, she's not interested.

If the girl turns her head and gives you the cheek, she's not interested.

Men can be kind of dense sometimes, like we all can in these kinds of situations. Here are some worst-case scenarios in case something unthinkable happens. What to do if:

  • The Girl Gives You the Cheek - If a girl is attracted to a guy, she kisses him. If she's not, she doesn't. It's pretty simple. Yes, it's possible she's a prude, but then you've got an entirely different problem on your hands. Move on.
  • The Girl Gives You a Hug Instead - Same as above.
  • The Girl Dodges Your Kiss - Same as above. Are you getting the message yet? Don't waste time on her. The translation of the last three moves would be this if she were using words, "Hey, sorry guy, I'm not attracted to you and don't want you to waste your time, but I don't want to come out directly and say that and hurt your feelings."
  • The Girl Backs Away and Screams at the Top of Her Lungs - First of all, you might be a rapist or somebody wrote "murderer" with a sharpie on your forehead after you passed out at that party last night. Look, this should never happen to a guy in his lifetime, so if this happens, something has gone seriously wrong. Women don't scream for no reason, so you've just frightened one to a pretty high level. Clearly, whatever approach you have taken is about as far from working as humanly possible.
If she slaps you, she's both angry and unintimidated.

If she slaps you, she's both angry and unintimidated.

  • The Girl Slaps You - Not quite the same as above, but pretty close. The main difference is that in the previous scenario, the girl is probably scared of you and feels that you represent a larger threat than any slap is likely to prevent. In this scenario, the girl doesn't consider you a physical threat and feels a slap will solve her problem.
  • The Girl Throws Up on You - The good news here is that there was probably a millisecond or so where the girl thought she actually wanted to be kissed, but then an unconscious repulsion to you in her brain triggered a physical reaction and she now realizes that she's not attracted to you. Still, bonus points if you pulled away before she vomited.
  • The Girl Has a Seizure and Dies - Actually, of all of these, this one might not mean that she's not attracted to you because she probably had a pre-existing medical condition and was about to croak anyway. Don't feel bad. At least wait for the autopsy. And remember, don't run from the scene. After you're exonerated of responsibility, you should at least think up a cool nickname for yourself like "lady killer" or something.

Conclusion

So, you've asked the question: "How do I get a girl to kiss me?" and you've read this article. Do you know the answer? You better. However, here's a little secret I've left until the very end. You actually can get a girl to kiss you, but she's going to have to be your girlfriend or your wife first. Once the girl is your girlfriend or your wife, she'll kiss you a lot.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

Questions & Answers

Question: My girlfriend is not having a good time with me. How can I get her to have fun with me?

Answer: How do you know she's not having fun with you? Usually, when two people stop having fun together, that's the beginning of the end. However, the best thing to do is ask her what she would like to do and try to do it. Are you doing things that are fun for you and not fun for her? Give it some thought.

Question: The girl that I am in love with is not quite as interested in me as I am in her. Is there still any way I can make her want to kiss me or any way I can tell if she ever will want to?

Answer: This is a great question. First, kudos to you for recognizing the inequality in your relationship. You're on the bottom, so to speak. Most guys, when faced with this situation, come on really strong, trying to push their attraction onto their woman as if force will do the trick. It needs to be the opposite. You need to be a challenge for this girl. You need to disengage and play a long game. You need to go after other women. You kind of need to assume that she's not coming around. She might come around and she might not, but at least you'll know. Trust me on this, there's nothing you can do to get this girl to come around OTHER than pulling back. You need to find out if she'll come to you.

© 2011 Sychophantastic

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