I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.
The First Kiss
Kissing is a staple of dating in Western civilization. If you've been seeing the same person for awhile, kissing (and more) is likely on the brain. If you are looking for clues on whether or not someone wants to kiss you, look no more. Here is a guide that should let you know that someone wants to lock lips with you. Make sure that you want to do the same before you get tongue tied.
1. When someone wants to kiss you, they may linger for awhile. Especially when they are standing next to you at the end of a date, when they take you home, or long pauses in sentences as if they're plotting to plant one on you. The first kiss often comes at the end of a date.
2. They may turn out the light to set the mood right.
3. Intense eye contact. When someone is about to kiss you, they'll stare at your eyes, they'll stare at your lips. This is a classic signal.
4. They may start touching your face, brush your hair behind your ear, or give you a head rub.
5. Your partner might start with holding your hand, hugging more, lingering in a hug... it's obvious this person is wanting to build to the next step.
6. He may flat out bring up kissing and see if you are interested in doing it. A lot of times what guys are thinking comes out whether they meant to be direct about it or not.
7. He might start describing the shape of your lips, the color, your teeth, your makeup.
8. She might get closer to your body and start cuddling with you.
9. If your head is on his lap, he might try touching the skin near your lips and gently moving your cheek to get you an idea that he wants your lips.
10. Before ending a date, a sudden reach for the mints.
11. Leaving the party and going into a private room to hang out. When a boy has you in his room, it is kissing territory in his mind. He probably has already thought about kissing you there.
12. When she starts reapplying lipstick at the end of a date.
13. She removes an eyelash from your face and asks you to blow it and make a wish.
14. When he starts kissing your hand, then your shoulder, then your cheek.... the lips are coming! Ahhhh!
15. Slow dancing.
16. Bringing you close to mistletoe.
17. Suddenly grooming their hair a lot and looking your way as they get closer to you one way or another.
18. Nibbling on your ear -- hey, sometimes people get to the ear before the lips!
19. When they confess that they are in love with you and have been for a long time. And you accept them.
20. When he starts bringing up all the kissing stories of his past, he is hoping that you'll share your stories and eventually start kissing.
21. When he ups his game and takes you to a really nice restaurant, wears super nice clothing, buys you jewelry, and takes you dancing.
22. When he feels comfortable dipping you in the middle of a dance... he might reach for your neck.
23. When he says he daydreams about kissing you.
24. When he is touching his lips a lot and seems lost in thought.
25. When she starts to cling to you a lot, grab you from behind, hold you really tightly -- and seems completely cray cray.
26. You'll notice them getting a lot closer to your face, testing the waters. They hope you'll get a little closer and finish the distance.
27. He might start using a cheeky pick up line to test your reaction, give you a compliment.
28. The kisser may do it smoothly, by touching you, letting you linger, and really waiting it out to make sure you want to do it and are anticipating it.
29. She might start slowly by kissing your face or ears to test the waters before kissing your lips.
30. He might start sending you kissy emojis every other emoji.
31. He'll start playing with your hair and getting quiet.
32. There should be some kind of awkward pause and lack of conversation.
33. One of you might start getting fidgety and unsure what to do with themselves and hope the other person will help them out one way or another.
34. She might lick you.
35. He might playfully bite your arm.
Why do People Kiss?
Kissing helps test the waters. It lets you know whether you have a connection with someone, if you communicate well, and it sends vital chemical signals to your brain. You send messages on a deep level about whether the person will be healthy for you, or a bust. Kissing is a way for you to express your affection, to grow closer, and to take things further. You don't necessarily have to kiss to be in a relationship, or do it at all. A lot of cultures don't do the lip kissing like we do in the United States, and in fact, some cultures find it really gross. Our culture with a movie that has a kiss in just about every single one, makes it all the more pressing that the beginning stages of a relationship and intimacy are tied with lip kissing.
It's okay if you don't want to kiss yet. If you have a good partner, they'll take their time with you. You may want them to kiss you anyway, but not on the lips. If it's your first time kissing, this may help to ease the tension and the fears you may be having. Also, when someone is kissing you, whether your neck, ear, or cheek -- you can learn from them about what feels good and what kind of sucks (both literally and figuratively.)
Before you kiss, make sure you've got some basics covered so that it all goes smoothly.
- Have clean breath. There is nothing worse than garlic mouth. You want the kiss to be refreshing, not stinky.
- Be private. Most people want their first kiss with someone away from the crowd. It can be really overwhelming to kiss someone around others.
- Make sure you've showered recently. It doesn't feel so good on the nose when you get closer to someone and you totally smell B.O.
- Drink water. You can get dry mouth pretty fast if you're not paying attention.
- Read the other person and gauge what they are doing. If it doesn't seem reciprocal, you might be taking matters into your own hands a little too much. You should be feeling about the same amount of pressure. You should take things at ease rather than at a sprint.
- Don't shove your tongue in the other person's mouth right off the top. Ease into the kiss.
- Compliment them if you like it.
- Use your hands. Comb your fingers through their hair, caress their arms, give their back a massage. If only your lips are moving, you might be giving off stale, frozen body language.
- Don't compare the kisses to someone else, it is rude and can make someone feel really hurt, jealous, or annoyed.
- Don't do things that seem super weird, like licking their teeth from row to row, going lizard tongue on them, spitting like a fountain, or biting them to the point of it hurting. Stick to the basics. Don't move your mouth around like you're a built in roller coaster. Keep it smooth.
- Don't make fun of the other person if you didn't like their kiss. Be polite about it. Don't start critiquing and telling them how to make their kisses better. It might hurt their feelings.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 04, 2016: