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20 Things Men Want Women to Do in Bed


I love giving advice to women on how to enhance their love life.

What do men secretly wish women would do in bed?

What do men secretly wish women would do in bed?

Men Like It Hot Too!

Men just like getting laid, huh? If you believe that, you may want to think again! They want good, exciting, and awesome sex just like women do, but they don't always know how to tell you what they want.

What Men Wish Women Did More of in the Sack

  1. Tell him what to do. Guys and girls are different, and sometimes guys need to hear what you want. It's okay to shout, "Hey, put your tongue on this!" It actually helps everyone!
  2. Talk dirty. Channel your inner truck driver. While your telling him what you want him to do and how to do it, get filthy with your language. Men love it.
  3. Swallow. I do not intend on discussing this one further as my mom may read this article.
  4. Masturbate. Guys like to watch. Girls like to watch. Don't be shy.
  5. Touch. Rub him everywhere else too. A back rub is a nice touch and shows you care more about just getting him off.
  6. Be open-minded. Adventurous. Willing to at least try something new.
  7. Be yourself. Do not ever try to be someone you're not. Just be yourself.
  8. Experiment, experiment, experiment. It is rare to find a man who wants to make love the same way every time.
  9. Dominatrix? A man might like to be seen as a big tough guy, but most men love for their partner to take control sometimes. You don't have to be the dominatrix type, just sometimes be the one that will take over.
  10. Take your time. The occasional quickie aside, try to avoid frantic sex that finishes too quickly.
  11. Responsiveness. Be responsive both with your body and your mouth (verbally). Let him know you are aroused by the way you move or the things that you say.
  12. Give and take. For you to give as well as to receive. Making love is a two way process. A woman who is willing to give her man pleasure is always a plus.
  13. Spontaneity. A partner who wants to have sex at a moment's notice without a making a plan or a lame excuse is a real turn on.
  14. Role play. Many men like to spice things up a bit and act out fantasies like watching their lover do a strip tease. It could even be a role that does not necessarily turn you on, as long as you are comfortable with it and no one gets hurt.
  15. Sex in the morning. Some men, no matter how old they are, wake up with an erection and love to roll over and make use of it.
  16. Quick sex (some of the time). A spontaneous quickie here and there is a turn on.
  17. Woman on top. Don't hold back. The man might usually go on top but it does not have to be that way. If you want to be on top then get on top, and if you like it a little more rough then by all means make it that way.
  18. Nothing off limits. Let him explore and discover. Most men love to savor each and every part of a woman's body.
  19. Look at him. Don't keep your eyes closed. Look him in the eye.
  20. More!

For more good ideas about what men really want in bed, read What Makes a Woman Good in Bed?

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.



really helpful article.

Lynn from Summerville SC on November 14, 2019:


I just found this site !!!!

I like what I see and I think I wisdom in most area

I also crave affection and what to ask the question

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on March 19, 2019:

A woman would not want to share my bed. I snore !

Knarf the hermit. on March 19, 2019:

My bed has only one use. For sleeping. It probably hasn't been a Woman in the room for years.

Taylor Keirmaier on March 17, 2019:

I'm 18 and taking note of this for my man XD

Randy. on March 16, 2019:

It seems cold when a woman ain’t responsive. Men and women both get shy or just not in touch with their own sensuality. Men are visual. Women don’t need to be shy of being a total slutty sex freak and there’s nothing wrong with that if it’s for only one person if that makes sense. The look in your eye like you could tear into them. The way you talk. The way you roll you tongue before each and every act needs to be seductive and sensual. The way you hold that person and move your hands and the sounds you make while you have an orgasm and the way you look plays a big part. And has the potential to burn into a mans mind big time. How well do I know. Men or women crave affection and the heat. Nobody wants to kiss an ice box. Or see one.

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on March 08, 2019:

On International Women's day is there yet hope for the male?

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on March 02, 2019:

Memories !

SHERRI Klein on March 01, 2019:

I agree with the whole thing and am always happy to see my husband excited

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on February 18, 2019:

I like the Lady to assume full control and tell me what to do.

Miebakagh57 on February 16, 2019:

Seriously, all the commentators hid they face. Too bad for such a good story.

William on February 12, 2019:

This is sooo true. I wish women would read and follow this.

I wish my wife would read and follow this because I am soooo bored.

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on February 05, 2019:

Saw a paperback in a bookshop titled 'Sex for over forties' and it only contains blank pages !

Christopher Hyer from Midland, Texas on January 30, 2019:

I agree with this list.It pretty much covers sexuality that a man seeks from a woman. Spot on your there. Now where is this girl.lol

I Don't kiss and tell (usually) on January 30, 2019:

Been with women in their 40's down to my age bracket and I'd say this list is accurate. Always take in to consideration her point of view but, dominate sometimes always taking you from the top is boring and whether she's in her 20's or 40's, heavy or petite I like to explore touch and kiss everything while taking my time. A quickie on your lunch break, before work, or "hurry up before your mom gets back" is great too. Nowadays I ended up at "damn their finally asleep" but it all depends on you and your partner. Either way this list is really dead on ladies.

Kato the slave. on January 23, 2019:

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Knarf the hermit. on January 07, 2019:

Simply bad luck for me with relationships.

A Google user on June 07, 2018:


Emilly Atieno on April 09, 2018:

this so interesting

Phil on April 08, 2018:

Bravo Bullseye !

Fifi on March 30, 2018:

26 years with the same person married and still fancy him most of the time lol sex for me is great always attentive and get everything I want and I do him trying different positions ways and coming out of comforts zone makes for a better sex life ! I didn't believe sex was what bonds a marriage but love and trust! Now getting older I didn't but now believe sex is very important to make u feel good and desired and connect! I would love to dance be sexy but fear he would laugh so never have however he thinks I have a great body and just want to get my kit off but I would love the build up to that even though I appreciate what's he said I'm 44 so in my prime his nearly 50 and I think his gone past what I feel now which is a shame but a little more would be nice

Brooklyn on March 17, 2018:

this sounds good thanks for the info

HOLLY on March 03, 2018:


Nick Watts on February 24, 2018:

Hmmm. Be nice if we could try some of this.

Limpet on November 06, 2017:

I've given up hope of ever sharing a bed again!

Moh on September 27, 2017:

This has definitely change my perspective toward my king. Thanksa million

cece on May 28, 2017:

I'm new to having sex an my boyfriend say i gotta do work on him...how do i do that?

sarahSci on November 24, 2016:

How to seduce a very serious 53 years old male colleague?

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on April 05, 2016:

Whilst serving in the army Far East land forces i was sitting in a Singapore bar when approached by a Chinese hostess offering her services (at a price) in a back room. She asked what you like? I responded just a cuddle as i was fearful of venereal disease we were warned of. She asked me if i knew judo or karate and i said know but do you know kung fu? She no, she couldn't fight at all and i said lets have a bit of a wrestle then. She responded by putting my arm in a vice like hold before tossing me off the bed flat on the floor. Very modest these gals they are!

Marya on December 24, 2015:

I forgot to mention its not one time incidence.it happen always. We meet each other in every 1 or 2 month. And the same thing happen always.

Marya on December 23, 2015:

I dont know what should i say, because the man i love,most of the time he autometically turn on when he see me. He starts to come closer or kisses me i give him deep kiss and after forply he have premature orgasm.i can't have anything from him after that.can you suggest me what can i do? Its more than a year now.

hipster on September 22, 2014:

thanks really amazing tips

liz on March 22, 2014:


Kimmiann on July 11, 2013:

I always find it nice to catch him off guard, for instance if ur out with friends and he decides to go to the restroom....maybe tag along and be fearless! Its pretty exciting thinking u might get caught! ;)

Christopher Hyer from Midland, Texas on June 28, 2013:

I think this is excellent and I also believe that the man should consider a women's emotional state when it comes to sexual interactions.

vibesites from United States on June 28, 2013:

Very, very interesting from a woman's point of view. I'll keep some of them in mind (I'm still kind of shy so it takes a while for me to open up). Great hub all around.

Christopher Hyer from Midland, Texas on June 19, 2013:

Fantastic, a woman who will tell it like it is. Love that, you are very bright and intelligent. Making love to you must be like being in heaven. Its good to hear a woman tell the truth about sex. Too many years of being in the closet and women finally admit that yeah, we love sex too, just be good to us. Your a great , truthful, female, and would love to find a girl like you. being open is very attractive.

amber4improv on January 24, 2013:

thatgirl, your obviously bitter. Why are you soo mean? I think Hub author you gave some GREAT advice....who really cares about the typos..? lmao

aChange0fPace on January 09, 2013:

You nailed it in this posting! Accurate to the very end. Unfortunately for me, I haven't found a woman like the one suggested in this posting. Great Hub Nicole! I really enjoy your writings and POV

Laura Brown from Barrie, Ontario, Canada on April 07, 2012:

Not every guy wants you to channel your inner truck driver. If you are being yourself (#7), then you shouldn't have to try becoming someone else.

Most of what you have listed are good tips. But, both people should be comfortable and/or excited with the game plan. He may have a grocery list of things he'd like; that doesn't mean she needs to perform on spec. In my marriage I was the more adventurous one. I didn't try pressuring him to do things he didn't want to try. I didn't make him feel less than a man by suggesting he perform more or more often.

Proofread your post. You have at least one typo. You also confuse your and you're. Each time you use 'your' read it out loud saying 'you are' instead. If it works with 'you are' then it should be 'you're'.

KikiCobain from Lancaster, Lancashire on March 06, 2012:

I am proud to say i do all of these. Seems i have more a drive than my man at times though! haha. Great Hub!x

neakin (author) on June 18, 2011:

Thank you codeiris! I am glad you think so! : )

codeiris from Milky Way on June 15, 2011:

Interesting :)

neakin (author) on May 23, 2011:

There you go! I love it! Thanks for commenting!

Matthew I Crawford from Greeley, Colorado on May 23, 2011:

A nice lingerie outfit never hurt either. :)

myi4u from United Kingdom on May 15, 2011:

True! Very True!

neakin (author) on May 13, 2011:


Thank you so much! I had fun writing the Hub!

marellen on May 13, 2011:

Okay....If and when I have sex again I will remember some of your great advice. lol

Really, not joking this time. You give some great insight. Thanks for sharing....

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