Ravi loves writing within the cusp of relationships, intimacy, and well-being, where boundaries are blurred and possibilities are immense.
A Bad Kisser Can Totally Make or Break a Good Date
Picture this: You are on an amazing date. She is looking ravishing, and you are no less than Adonis. The restaurant is a great choice, and the food is exotic. She looks so happy.
Then, after talking for hours and discovering that your tastes match her 100%, you lean in for a kiss. However, to your dismay, your tongue-first approach clobbers her teeth, and the slobber from your tongue pours into her mouth like a pool of water. She is repelled, disgusted, and annoyed at your incompetence and walks away in a huff.
Sound familiar? It is okay. The shitty thing is, a bad kisser can totally make or break a good date. They say sex is like pizza—even when it is bad, it is good. However, when it comes to the art of kissing, this rule does not apply.
Kissing has a one-strike rule. If you are a bad kisser, chances are you will not hear from her again. A man’s ability to kiss determines if he gets to the next step of love or if it ends at the kiss itself.
The First Kiss Is a Deal-Breaker
Your kissing skills also play an important role in your overall relationship’s health. You might not think kissing is huge, but it is the cornerstone for most successful relationships.
And a 2012 survey by the State University of New York at Albany found that most people would end a relationship because of a bad kisser, with 59% of men and 66% of women rejecting someone who just cannot kiss very well.
As Susan M. Hughes, relationship expert, rightly says.
“The first kiss is a deal-breaker in terms of determining how the relationship will play out. A woman feels a kiss can predict how good of a lover a guy will be. A bad kiss will deter her from getting involved with him,”
According to research, a great kiss acts like a drug that makes you high. The lips are the body’s most prominent erogenous zone and are packed with 12 cranial nerves that shoot waves of oxytocin (the ‘feel happy hormone) to our brain. An awesome kiss is one of the best ways to create a readymade power-packed emotional connection that can further strengthen any relationship.
That said, the basic mechanics of kissing seem simple (I am sure some of you would have been doing it for donkey years), but to really kiss a girl in a way that makes her tingle and possibly want to go with you to the next level, you might need to brush up on your skills.
5 Ways to Be a Good Kisser
- Do Not Steal Kisses, Ask For Them
- Use Your Hands Also
- There’s More to Kissing Than Just Lips
- Take It Slow
- Kissing Is Not a Prelude to Sex
1. Do Not Steal Kisses, Ask For Them
You will be labeled as a creep if you plan to be quick, sneaky, or forceful to get that kiss. And rightfully so. If you are kissing people without asking for permission, you are no less than a creep. Remember, an unwanted kiss is disgusting and a ‘mood killer.’
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Go ahead and ask her if you may kiss. Even if she says no, rest assured you have upped your respect quotient for yourself a million times in her mind. Yes, this is modern-day; you might get lucky if she makes the first move, and it will be super sexy if she does.
Remember consent is mandatory, renegotiable, and can be withdrawn at any time. Respect the boundaries.
2. Use Your Hands Also
Yeah, I know, the lips get all the attention, but good kissing is also about using your hands in equal measure.
Pull her close to you, put your hands on her face, lower back, the base of the neck, or even stroke her hair. Whatever zones evoke the right responses within her, just go for it.
There is a fine line between being too intense and not sensual enough when you are kissing her, and the only way to find out is to let your hands stray over other parts of her body. If she likes it, she will ask you to continue. Again, if she tells you to stop, do so immediately.
Remember, a good kiss is a delicious concoction of spontaneity, gentling lips nibbling, and super gentle hands roaming her body. The euphoria that comes out of this concoction is mind-blowing, to say the least.
And remember, hickies are juvenile and not cool. You can kiss and gently suck on her neck without branding her. She is a woman, not cattle.
3. There’s More to Kissing Than Just Lips
An awesome kissing session starts with the lips and then moves to the neck, the earlobes, the collarbone, the cheeks, the chin, and maybe the hips. Yes, go beyond the lips to other spots, those other erogenous zones of her body, to be precise. Some of those zones can be.
- Collarbone: A woman’s exposed collarbone is sexy, and your mouth on it will fuel her excitement all the way down to other parts of her body. So start with a kiss there before you move on to the more intimate parts of her body.
- Hips: Her hips are closest to her most sensitive area, and kissing, licking, and nibbling at her hips will send currents of delight right up to her toes.
Finally, there are certain ‘no-go’ areas that a woman might never allow (her feet, derriere, etc.). Some girls simply do not like having your mouth in these sensitive areas. So, if she says no, respect her decision and move on.
4. Take It Slow
The scenario: your date is going beautifully well. She laughs at your jokes, understands your sense of humor, and smiles thoughtfully while you talk. You can tell she is impressed by you. But she still doesn’t kiss you. Why?
Relax and take it slow. This is not a race, and no one is playing to win. Yes, sometimes passion can pick up the pace, but there is no need to be over eager. Slow and steady wins the girl. Not every girl would want to jump into the hot water right away. Some would like to test the waters, one toe at a time, which is perfectly OK.
Even if she does not kiss you, sit back and let her drive at her own pace. The worst thing you can do is make the kiss awkward because you are not confident enough that she will appreciate it.
Finally, if you get your kiss, do not flick your tongue inside her mouth like a snake’s tongue. If your tongue darts around uncontrollably inside her mouth, chances are she will not allow a second chance. So instead of excessive tongue action, focus on her lips.
The golden rule is to reduce tongue action and generate as little saliva as possible. When kissing, the worst thing you can do to a woman is mouthing saliva all over her face!
5. Kissing Is Not a Prelude to Sex
For many people, sex and intimacy are not complete without a kissing session.
However, kissing can exist independently on its own without culminating in sex. Remember that a kiss does not guarantee sex. Just because someone makes out with you does not mean she wants to sleep with you. Kissing is satisfying, but if you think of it as an intermediate step, you are making the mistake of a lifetime.
And there is no special and perfect way to kiss a girl. It depends on what she likes, and your one-stop bag of tricks might not work on every girl. So take the time to understand and be open to what she wants. Also, on your part, do not be afraid to tell her what you would like in return, too. Kissing is a two-way street, so it needs to work well for both of you.
As Mae West has rightly said, “A man's kiss is his signature.”
- 37 Subtle Secrets To Be A Very Good Kisser & Make Them Want To Eat You
- How To Be A Good Kisser: 11 Kissing Tips
- Your Guide To Kissing: 15 Expert-Backed Tips To Make Every Smooch Better
- 21 Ways To Improve Your Kissing Skills
- The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us-Sheril Kirshenbaum
- Kissing: The Best Tips, Techniques, and Advice-Taylor D'Aotino
- The Art of Kissing-William Cane
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2021 Ravi Rajan