I'm a Midwesterner with a background in writing and media. My articles are mainly about relationships, dating, and heartbreak.
Kissing is as old as the human species itself. In Western culture, kissing is a huge part of relationships. You exchange quite a lot of information when you kiss each other; sometimes that first kiss lets you know if a relationship is in store, and it's a way to tell if you are a genetic match!
Kissing your partner should be smooth, affectionate, and familiar. You should feel confident and comfortable, and kissing your partner should be enjoyable. Remember, you and your partner can both decide when you want to start kissing. Take it at your own pace, and make sure your partner is comfortable with whatever you are doing—get consent from them before trying to land one on their face. Some people take kissing much more seriously than others. Trusting each other is one of the biggest parts of any relationship.
Before heading into a make-out session:
- Make sure your breath smells good. Brush your teeth or eat some mints. Don’t eat a whole bunch of garlic or onions if you want to kiss later.
- Make sure you smell clean and remove dirt from underneath your cuticles.
- Make sure the mood is right.
- Don't have your first kiss in public. Make it private.
1. Kiss their ears.
Instead of going for the lips, try nibbling on your partner's ear. Don't be too rough—try sucking, gently biting, and keep some kind of rhythm. For many people, kissing the ear is a turn on and can make their whole body shiver. Suck on the ear for a long moment, then change it up with some more fast-paced kissing. Avoid sticking your tongue into their ear -- that might weird them out. If they don't like you kissing their ear, stop.
2. Make it sensual by kissing their neck.
It's affectionate, sweet, and could potentially lead to more. Try kissing the nape, down to the collarbone, and then go up and kiss their face, avoiding the lips. Focus your energy differently. Every once in a while, massage their neck with one of your hands. Be gentle, yet passionate. You can try biting, but don't do anything to hurt them. Vampires are not cool.
3. Massage the area around their lips.
Before kissing someone, try massaging the area around their lips without kissing them. Having your lips moved like that is very relaxing, comforting, and exciting. This can get people more used to the idea of kissing. It can also make the person feel very loved and attractive. It's the little, specific moves that will keep someone interested.
4. Kiss their hands.
Instead of kissing them goodnight, tease them and kiss their hand. You should kiss their hand when they say something sweet. Rest your lips on their wrist and suck, but don't lay the smacking sounds on too thick. You can also kiss their palm, and when things are more intimate, try suckling their hand. Make eye contact if you can. Avoiding the lips—kissing other areas can be extremely enticing.
5. Kiss their whole face—not just their lips.
Start from the forehead, and go around in a circle to the cheeks, the chin, and cheeks until you are kissing their lips. Kiss every part of their face.
6. Play with their hair.
If your partner has long hair, try playing with their hair. Pull it together like you would a ponytail, then kiss their neck. Keep your hands in their hair, or give them a head massage. Face them, while you keep playing with their hair. Women especially like to know that you like their hair, so try putting your hands on their face, head, and hair. It comes off romantic if done correctly.
7. Take up dance lessons.
When you go in for a dip, kiss them heavily or on the cheek. Make sure to keep your balance, as the person being dipped will most likely be on one leg.
8. Try the Spiderman kiss.
You can have one person bend their head over the back of a piece of furniture—such as a couch—while you kiss them upside down. Don't hold the kiss for too long because the blood can rush to their brain. You can also do this while laying down so that no one's head is floating in the air.
9. Don't forget the legs, thighs, and feet.
Yes, feet. See if they like having your hands on their feet and try giving them a foot massage. Ask if they'd like you to kiss them there. When you kiss their thighs, make sure to keep your hands busy with other parts of their legs—don't go anywhere too private just yet.
10. Kiss from the back of their neck down their spine.
Keep a good rhythm and make it soft and gentle. Don't make your kisses too wet. Watch how they're breathing and make sure they're enjoying what you do. You can always ask and get their feedback.
11. Put something between you.
Put a sheet or something similar over your partner's head and try kissing them between the material. This can help build up tension and curiosity. Try making it playful and mysterious. Make sure they can breathe.
12. Bring out the blindfold.
When they're ready, blindfold your partner and kiss them. You can also try tying their hands together if they're okay with it.
13. Be natural.
Whatever kissing method you use, it should be natural. If you seem like you're making too much of a plan or have lots of tricks you want to try, it could make your partner feel like they're being taken out of the moment. They might also start to worry why you're adding so many tricks and twists. Whenever you kiss someone, make sure you are focused, and you'll do a better job. Be calm and act like you know what you're doing.
14. Tease your partner.
Keep your lips away from your partner's and make them kiss other parts of your body. See how creative they can be.
15. Pick them up.
Pick up your partner and kiss them while they're in your arms. Have them sit on your lap. It's a good position to kiss someone, and they can wrap your arms around your neck.
16. Change the pace.
Kiss them slowly, then increase the tempo. Stop kissing, and then leave your mouth on their chin. Make things so slow that they have to take up the initiative.
17. Compliment them with a kiss.
Give them a compliment about a certain facial feature and kiss them there. Then say more compliments (and give them more kisses) until you reach their lips.
18. Keep it cool.
Pass an ice cube between the two of you while kissing.
19. Make them wait for it.
Bring your lips close to their face without kissing them. Try teasing them a little.
20. Find a good spot.
Find a great, romantic spot in town for a good hang out and make out session.
The static electricity kiss. These usually occur on their own. When there is a lot of static electricity, like in winter when it’s dry, you might shock your partner. These can be entertaining and surprising.
If you intentionally want one to happen, drag your feet on the carpet. Wear a lot of wool. Stop using dryer sheets in your laundry.
After All the Kissing
Whenever you are done hanging out, make sure to tell them that you had a good time. You could send them a text message later to let them know that you are thinking about them.
Don’t be afraid to wait a while before kissing someone. Sometimes waiting to even hold hands can allow you to focus on other parts of the relationship, your compatibility, and how well you communicate.
Kissing someone lets them know that you are attracted to them. If you can’t kiss them, something could be wrong. You may want to spend time in introspection and figure out if you really feel that way about the person, or if someone else might be better suited for you.
Don’t fake kissing just because you want to try it. Only start kissing once you know how you actually feel — you don’t want to lead someone on. Also, if you have been kissing more than one person, you need to communicate that ahead of time. Some people are not okay with dating several people, while others will be okay with it until there’s exclusivity.
Make sure you are communicating with each other so that no one’s feelings get hurt.
© 2016 Andrea Lawrence