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10 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex

Updated on July 17, 2017

We all know that it can sometimes be hard to understand the mindset of the opposite sex, especially when it comes to intimacy. Unfortunately, this lack of understanding can often leave one partner or the other feeling as if they could enjoy themselves more. So, ladies, here are some things that men wish you knew about sex which, once you do know, you can use to step up your game in the bedroom.

1. Blue Balls Do Exist

While many women think this is just a myth to make us finish the deed after we get bored, getting close to orgasm and then stopping stimulation can actually cause a man pain. This comes from a buildup of blood in the penis and testicles. Depending on how turned on he is, and for how long, this can be anything from an ache to excruciating pain. So he isn’t necessarily faking it just to get you to keep going, and it probably isn’t polite to leave him like that.

2. But if They Can’t Finish, Don’t Make it a Pity Party

While you shouldn’t leave him hanging of your own accord, there are going to be times that he can’t orgasm. Don’t pity him. The less of a big deal you make over it, the less upset he will be over it. Keep kissing him and touching him. This will let him know that you’re still into him and his body, even when he’s having a little trouble keeping it up.

3. They Want to Know You’re Having a Good Time

Men respond well to praise, so yours probably does too. They want to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. Tell him when something is particularly good, and just let him know you’re having fun during sex. If you make sex seem like a chore, it can make your man feel like he isn’t wanted. Still be honest – every man knows that you’re probably lying if you go on and on about how phenomenal he is and how he’s the best you’ve ever had. But that doesn’t mean that he won’t appreciate a “wow, that was really good” after a particularly enjoyable night.

4. You’re Not The Only One Who Likes To Cuddle

Not all men want to just get up and resume life right after sex. Chances are your guy enjoys post-coital cuddling as much as you do. This is the time where you both get to enjoy being closest, without anybody worrying about anything else. Just because he isn’t going to go on about how much he loves it, doesn’t mean he doesn’t realize and appreciate the fact that it’s valuable time.

5. You Can Touch The Rest of Him, Too

Most women expect a man to take care of us head to toe during sex. We want him to kiss our neck, touch our breasts, and caress all of our body. So why is it that most women only bother to touch a man’s penis? Men enjoy sensual touches just as much as women, they just get to experience them less often. So kiss his neck, run your hands up the insides of his legs, run your hands through his hair, and just in general touch him in more places. His penis isn’t the only place you can turn him on.

6. Sex Does Mean Something

Many men do have an emotional response to sex. They see it as something important to a relationship, and not just something physical. Don’t accuse them of not seeing it this way. Unless they have told you otherwise, it isn’t fair to assume that they’re only in it to get off. Telling him you think that’s the case can be extremely hurtful to a man who does see sex as an act that is of value to your relationship.

7. It Just Doesn’t Have to Mean Something Every Single Time

Men don’t, however, need (or even want) sex be deep and meaningful every time. Once and a while a man wants to just have sex because it’s fun, and because they want to. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t value sex in general, or the fact that you’re the one he’s having sex with. It doesn’t even mean that he won’t want to have soft, slow, sensual sex next time. It just means that this time around the mission is to have fun and orgasm, rather than to build an emotional connection.

8. Watching Porn Doesn’t Need to Be a Big Deal

Watching porn doesn’t make a man a sex addict, and it doesn’t mean he’d rather see other women naked than you. It’s a way to see his fantasies played out, or a way to indulge his sexual desires when you aren’t around. Don’t make a big deal about it. If he enjoys watching porn, he’s probably going to do it. This means with or without your approval. So make it easier, and don’t disapprove. Nobody expects you to be jumping for joy that it happens (although watching porn together can be something fun to try), but you should understand that it isn’t a terrible thing, and be willing to gracefully tolerate it.

9. Tell Him What You Want

Along the same lines of wanting to know that you enjoy yourself, a man wants to know just what you enjoy most. Not all men live up to the bad name women have given them. There is a good chance that he wants to make you feel good, and that he wants to see you orgasm. When something is great, ask if you can do it again sometime. When you’re getting a bit bored or something just isn’t doing it for you, suggest a new position or something else you want to try. Be open and honest about what you want, because this gives him the right tools to do what you want.

10. Openness to New Things is Greatly Appreciated

That being said, men know you aren’t going to play into their every fantasy. Most men won’t expect you to. However, they still want to keep things interesting. You should, too. Having a boring sex life can actually be a sign of a relationship that is heading in the wrong direction. It can mean that one or both partners has stopped trying to keep things interesting in general, in and out of the bedroom, and that the relationship is getting stale. So once in a while, indulge him when he wants to try something new. Better yet, come up with something you want to try and suggest that.

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