When a relationship isn't going well or it ends completely, it's only natural to reflect and wonder if there were signs that were missed from early on. You might ask yourself, "How did I not see that coming? Why do I keep winding up in this situation?"
The truth is, there usually are a few red flags signaling this person wasn't right for you, though, you may have disregarded them, but why? Relationship coach @iammonicayearwood explains why some people have a tendency to dive head first into toxic relationships in spite of the red flags they know are in front of them.
Though it may be hard to admit, what she's saying makes sense. When one consciously decides to repeat past traumas, it gives them a sense of purpose for achieving a goal or completing a challenge. That goal or challenge might look like taming the bad boy and earning his commitment, winning an argument with a narcissist manipulator, or proving yourself worthy to someone who's always put you down. However, even if you do accomplish that goal, it doesn't make it healthy.
It seems many viewers understand and resonate with this explanation. User @brothrhezekiah says, "I knew a guy was a narcissist in the beginning. I knew it and I was like well I’m gonna see how this goes lol," and @katsoulga says, "Omg, my intuition was always spot on but I ignored it. Those butterflies were actually warning signs."
Some viewers recognize the patterns and are still working through their healing journey. Commenter @jillian.melissa says, "Yep. At a place in my life for the first time where I recognize repetition syndrome. My trauma goes way back. Still tryna figure out how to navigate." Others have been fortunate enough to have found healing and healthier relationship patterns. User @goldenlighthealing says, "I've been there so many times until I realized it and said no more. After that I found actual love."
It's tough to call what's worse, not seeing the red flags, or recognizing them for what they are and choosing to ignore them. Either way, you'll answer to the outcomes of your decision until you heal and learn how make better choices.
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