If you’re not familiar with relationship coach Stephan Labossiere, hopefully you’ll want to learn more about him after watching this clip (thanks @podcaster74). It comes from a time when he was a guest on Red Table Talk where he shared some of his insights on love vs. lust, as far as how men see it.
In fact, I wish that more discussions about the differences between lust and love were had, especially on social media. Because it seems that we’re living in a time when many don’t know that they are not the same thing — in many ways, not by a country mile.
Whenever people ask me what I think about the word “chase”, I tell them that I’m not impressed. That’s because I’m pretty word-literal and I know that it means things like “to pursue in order to seize, overtake, etc.” and “to pursue with intent to capture or kill, as game; hunt”. I’m not prey, so I’ll pass on being hunted.
That’s why I find what Stephan said to be pretty profound. Lust is oftentimes rooted in desire and passion yet not much more than that. Shoot, even words like “intensity” and “uncontrollable” are used in some definitions of lust. That’s why chasing an object of one’s desire would make a lot of sense because the energy behind it is about conquering and satisfying a craving — oftentimes it’s nothing more than that.
Love is different. Love is tender. Love nurtures. Love is affectionate, compassionate and seeks to develop a strong connection. And in order to do that, there can’t be the same kind of energy that lust evokes. It also doesn’t work well without reciprocity. Love grows as it gives — and it receives.
Just something to think about the next time love and lust come up in a conversation.
Being chased? Meh.
Being loved? That’s where life gets good.
No chasing or being chased necessary.
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