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Therapist Shares Thoughts on Why 'Limerence' Can Be Debilitating

Has there ever been a time where you felt a wild desire and connection with someone you couldn't quite explain or justify? Maybe it was that sexy someone who suddenly ghosted you, or that almost-relationship you swore would take off but for some reason just never materialized. You know it's more than your typical crush as you fantasize about them constantly nearly to an obsessive degree. 

This fixation is known as limerence, and one woman explains why it's so emotionally exhausting. TikToker and therapist @margaretlorenzlcsw shares we you need to know about this psychological phenomenon and why it's so important to keep your feet on the ground. 

It can be easy to get caught up in the idea of someone, but more often than not, the reality of who a person really is won't live up to the fantasy narrative you create in your mind, and when that is realize, it comes as a huge disappointment. 

It appears many viewers can personally relate to this occurrence as well. User @alanalindsayz says, "It’s quite literally wasted years of my life," and @viviana361 says, "It's reliving the encounter! I struggle to shift it out of my brain so much but I think I'm getting there." On a similar note, @dmb280 says, "I suffered from this in high school for years! I feel embarrassed now how much I talked and obsessed about this person that I never really knew."

Not only is limerence draining and exhausting, it's a waste of time. One way to beat these crippling ruminations could be practicing living in the present moment. When we are absorbed in our own lives, including everything and everyone who matters to us right here and now, we're less likely to get our heads stuck in the clouds about someone else who likely doesn't think about us at all. 

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