How To Attract Women: Some BAD Advice That You Need To Hear
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I see a lot of bad advice on how to attract women. I see it on forums, in books, and even when one guys talks directly to another guy.
The problem is that this bad advice is being spread around through these mediums, and YOU, the guy who receives it, is then incorporating it into your approach with women. Not good.
Before I tell you some of the bad advice on how to attract women, let me tell you this: The advice you get may help you attract some women; I'm not saying that it won't. But it will help you attract the following types of women.
- Women with low self-esteem
- Women with a lot of baggage
- Needy women
- Women who want to change you and help YOU become better
- Crazy women
Get the picture? Bad advice can land you a woman that has issues, and your relationship with her may end up causing you a ton of heartache and pain rather than a ton of fun.
Bottom line: If you are looking for women with substance, the kind of women who will enrich your life and make you a better man, then keep reading to find out what NOT to do.
Bad Advice On How To Attract Women
Following are 3 of the top things that I have heard online and offline that you should not include as part of your 'game' when trying to attract women.
1. Don't Be A Nice Guy
The premise is that women are attracted to bad boys, not nice guys. This makes men go out and try to act bad-ass, mean, rude, and even indifferent to women. Unfortunately, this is not a good tactic as it is one of the quickest ways to turn a woman off.
Being nice is not the problem. Women want a guy who is nice. However, they do not want a guy who is a pushover or a wimp in life.
There is a different between 'nice' and 'pushover'.
- Nice means good-natured and kind.
- Pushover means that you are easily influenced or dominated.
A pushover has no self-confidence, and confidence is the number one thing that attracts women, hands down. This lack of confidence is not sexy or appealing, and women will quickly label a guy as a 'friend' when she spots low self-confidence in him.
Most guys try to be a slight jerk so that they are not labeled as 'a nice guy'. But, when you are jerk, any kind of jerk, there are two things that are going to happen.
1. You are going to push away a good woman. A good woman who is ready for a real relationship has likely dated her share of jerks and does not want to date them anymore. Jerks have caused her more pain than pleasure, and it is human nature to look for pleasure in life, not pain. She is looking for a good guy who will treat her right.
2. You are going to attract women who haven't learned their lesson yet. They have not experienced enough pain to put their hands in their air and say, "You can't treat me like that." Unfortunately, these women are usually the women that are not going to give you long term happiness. They are needy, have low self-confidence, or are pushovers themselves.
Therefore, if you want to attract women who you will enjoy being around, then be a nice guy, not a jerk or a pushover. Be a guy who treats women with respect but still has confidence in himself and stands up for himself.
Note: Women are attracted to bad boys...there is just something sexy about a guy who breaks the rules and doesn't give a crap; however, women do not want this type of guy in her life as a lover, they want a guy who gives a crap and doesn't come with drama. So if you want a relationship, then drop the bad boy act.
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2. Make Her Feel Unattractive
I have seen this advice in a book by a well-known attraction 'guru', and it makes me very sad at the amount of guys who are getting this advice and using it to attract women.
The premise is that sending the message to a woman that she isn't as beautiful as other women (such as your ex girlfriends) will make you look like you are a stud who can get any woman you want, and this will make you more attractive to her.
Wrong! Let me tell you the truth. Most women struggle with their appearance on a daily basis. Weight, physical traits, hair, and everything else are scrutinized by most women in the mirror every day, and they are already hard enough on themselves when it comes to their attractiveness.
Women want a guy who will make them feel more attractive than they already feel, not less attractive. A man who makes them feel bad about themselves is not a catch in the eyes of most women.
However, as I said before, the wrong type of women may find this method of attracting women appealing. For instance, women who are stuck in a victim mentality may think, "I am ugly, and he's just being honest with me." She will feel as thought she deserves to be talked down to. A woman with victim mentality will be very hard on herself throughout your relationship and you will spend a lot of wasted effort trying to make her feel good about herself and her life. Do you really want to land a woman like that?
If you want to attract women that are not willing to be put down by a guy, then try making women feel attractive in order to win their affection. Tell them how great they look, how much you love their hair, how you can't get their face out of your mind...just make sure you make them feel attractive.
Doing so will make you a guy that they want to be around more often. You will be someone who can help them look in the mirror and say things such as, "I really do have great legs!" And the will credit that back to you.
Note: I still remember every nice thing a guy has said about me, and it makes me remember them fondly. I'm talking about guys from over 10 years ago, so that is the power of making a woman feel attractive.
3. Treat Women Like Little Girls
I see this often as well. The point is that you should make women feel like they are children or beneath you. Giving them a pat on the head and displaying a condescending attitude is supposed to make women feel inferior to you and therefore want to 'please' you so they can be more level in status in your eyes.
Holy crap, this advice goes back to an era in the far past, yet still circulates today? Let me tell you two things.
1. I'm not from an era where women were treated as less than men, but I'm sure that since this was the accepted behavior at one time, most women would have looked past this annoying habit and still fell in love with a man.
2. If you try this now, you will likely get punched in the face.
Women have rights now. They have the freedom to make choices. They are big girls that make their own decisions and carve out their own paths in life. They do not need a man to take them by the hand and treat them like little girls.
It is true that in a relationship women like to feel protected by their man. This can happen in the way of comfort or support during troubling times, but that doesn't mean that they want to feel inferior to their man, like a little child.
If you want to show compassion towards women, then that will do the job when it comes to how to attract women. Show understanding, kindness and empathy towards a woman, not superiority.
Real Men Don't Need To Scam Women
The bottom line is this: Attractive men who are confident and have a lot to offer a woman don't need to scam women or trick them. If you hear any sort of advice that involves playing games with women to trick them into liking you, then avoid it. Chances are it's crap.
Tricking women usually involves confusing them in some way. For example, making them think that you like them and then not calling for two weeks. This confusion does not help to attract women to you, it only plants doubts in their mind about you and will hurt you in the long run.
You shouldn't have to trick women into liking you. You should be able to create attraction because you are a great guy who has a lot to offer a woman and you are charming, interesting, and appealing.
You can do this by:
- Being honest.
- Showing an interest in her.
- Displaying a zest for life and your future.
- Displaying confidence in yourself
- Displaying confidence in your abilities to please women (Hint: Learn what attract women and what they want and then you will be confident.)
- Understand women's needs and desires (Again, study up and learn this stuff from the mouths of women, or men who offer real world advice and not men who have some tricks up their sleeve.)
One More Thought About Bad Advice Men Get
Don't try to make a woman jealous unless you want to create a whole host of issues in your relationship if you end up getting her.
Making a girl jealous means that you talk about other women or look at other women or openly gawk at other women. When you do this, you are setting her up for emotional and mental distress. She will start to wonder if you are really interested in her, or if you would rather she looked and acted like the women you look at.
Plus, it can cause a whole bunch of trust issues in a relationship that will create more problems that you could ever expect. (I'm assuming at this point that somehow you got the girl.) Trust is at the heart of a good relationship, and if you don't have it, then you will never have a healthy and happy relationship. She will always remember the way you openly flirted with other women in front of her, and it may take a lot of time to earn her trust.
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