Tips for Men to Survive Their Wife's PMS

Updated on February 22, 2017

PMS is not fun, not for me, not for you, and certainly not for my husband. PMS is the onset of my Hulk transformation. I stop being myself, and I turn into my husband's worst nightmare and communication becomes futile.

Much like the Hulk, I'm not really in control of myself when PMS arrives. My hormonal impulses take over my sweet nature (okay, so I may not be the sweetest person in the world, but I'm way nicer when PMS is not ruling my world). This is how I look when I'm afflicted by PMS:

However, unlike the Hulk in the Avengers, I haven't learned to control my impulses yet. So, while I figure out how to help myself, I created a list of things to help my suffering husband deal with my PMS . I'm sharing this list with you because I don't want to feel like we are the only couple that needs this crazy list.

So, here are my best tips to help you, poor men, know how to deal with PMS.

Don't offer any solutions, unless...

Please don't ever, ever tell us to take a pill. And whatever you do, don't ever say "take a chill pill" as this may result in the end of your days.

You don't have to tell us to take medication. We know a pill makes things better most of the time. If we seem like we need a pill, chances are we already took one and it just isn't working. Unlike children, we don't need to be reminded to take our medicine. Au contraire! We desperately want it! So when you imply that we are too stupid to remember to take a pill, we feel deeply insulted, which will undoubtedly make us feel angrier toward you.

However, if your solutions include a massage, a hot cup of tea, baking a hot chocolate cake or any other goody, then by all means, offer as many solutions as you want. It's not that we don't like solutions. We like them, as long as they make us feel like a precious gem and not like a stupid child.

Keep your distance, but don't go too far

So what exactly is a good distance to keep? During these horrible days, we girls want to have enough space to ourselves to tear anything we want to tear down. We want to have enough space to rip all the pillows we want to rip, and to cry wherever we want to cry. Keep away from this space. However, don't go too far. We want you to stay close enough so you can come rescue us in case the need for a scoop of ice cream may arise.

Sound selfish? A little, but keep in mind that we are super sweet during any other time of the month.

Girls, let's not be jerks.

PMS is a very real thing, but it should, in no way, be used as an excuse to hurt others, or to treat others like chewed gum stuck to your shoe.

Some women may use this horrible time of the month to take advantage of their significant other, or to do anything else that they could get away with.

Please notice that I am, in no way, advocating for this kind of behavior. I'm simply stating what could happen and how hormones can mess with a woman's head.

But, girls, let's try to be as nice as we possibly can, okay? Okay!

Don't expect too much

PMS can be so severe that sometimes all we can do is lie in bed all day. Cramps can be so sharp that just walking proves to be a real challenge. So don't expect a clean house, a warm meal or pretty much anything else. Not gonna happen.

Here's what you can do: clean, cook, feed the children, take them to park, etc.. you get the point.

Understand what's going on

I don't believe men will ever fully understand the complexity (and pain) of PMS. In an effort to win your sympathy, I will attempt to explain what goes on.

During PMS, our brains don't fully belong to us. They become controlled by tiny, evil creatures called hormones. We know we shouldn't act the way we do, but the fight against these evil creatures is close to impossible. So it's like we are seeing ourselves do things we don't want to do and feel completely overpowered. Keep in mind that all this is happening while blood is coming out of our lady parts and our uterus is cramping like Parkinson's on caffeine.

It is as if we were fighting two fights: one with our brains and one with our uterus. NOT FUN!

This is the evil hormone responsible for our crazy mood changes during PMS
This is the evil hormone responsible for our crazy mood changes during PMS

Mood Swings

PMS doesn't necessarily mean we will always be in a crappy mood. No, what will be the fun of that? For added extra fun, PMS decides to give us women mood swings that are just "delightful" both for you and us. So one minute we may be super happy, and the next we are ready to eat your head.

PMS MOODS
PMS MOODS

Keep a calendar, but don't let us know you're keeping track

Keeping a calendar of our period is a wonderful way to know when and how to deal with PMS. It may help you understand a sudden fit of anger. But, please, whatever you do, don't let us know you're keeping track. This will only make us feel like some kind of time bomb or monster that can't be controlled. We don't like to feel like some kind of creep right out of a sci-fi movie.

Plus, if you keep a calendar and we don't know, we will just see you as a super sweet guy that really knows how to understand his woman, and that will earn you a ton of brownie points.

In the end...

Yes, this may seem like a lot of work for all you poor carriers of a Y chromosome. But, following these instructions will help you keep a happy wife (girlfriend, whatever) and thus, also result in a happier you. We are willing to shower you with hugs and kisses if you understand this complex process we have to endure every month.

Remember: learning how to deal with PMS is no easy task, but practice makes perfect!

We love you! Thanks for being so sweet!
We love you! Thanks for being so sweet!

Funny Pms Survival Guide

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Urantia 

        2 months ago

        All I can say as a guy is that as rough as this period is for us, I'm glad it doesn't happen to men. If I and other men had to deal with 10 freaking straight days of headaches, nausea, cramps, wild mood swings, backaches, insomnia etc., this world would have ended a long, long time ago. Try to be understanding guys, if you had those symptoms for that period of time it would be far worse.

      • profile image

        Craig 

        3 months ago

        Men have natural instincts and hormones as well. We are programmed to mate and protect but we are told to stop those hormonal instincts because they are wrong. We do this and struggle with this yet get no support for going against our brain chemistry. Women use hormones and natural events as excuses yet if we tried it we lose in the eyes of all society.

      • profile image

        TOLACA3 

        3 months ago

        I agree, you can't shut your mouth or it offends her as it is ignoring, my lady has SEVERE PMS ! I lose all away across the board, - The ONLY way for me to win for myself, would just have another place to live for 7 days, she just got PMS and it was nutty again ! She cried for no reason, acted like I did something evil to her, called me a bastard, and fucker, and jumped up and down on my pillow on the floor like a baby, till it ripped ! Don't even know this woman for 7 days, can't stand her to be honest, no love for her at all those 7 days, then I love her to death once blood starts flowing, my sweet wife returns ! I honestly don't think when she has PMS if she cared if I got hit by a Mack Truck ! Folks SEVERE PMS is real, and I can't handle it, I just don't feel loved one ounce by her during PMS

      • profile image

        Equality 

        3 months ago

        A man doesn’t have to shut up for one week that doesn’t help anything because it can be taken as ignoring on purpose which will be taken as another problem. Everyone EVERYONE has to learn to control themselves as best they can, and be as kind, understanding, and helpful to the other. That goes both ways. Because if there’s any trust, then the “help” that the other is providing won’t be taken wrong by the recieving party - even if it’s not the best thing for the moment.

      • profile image

        Thomas 

        3 months ago

        Men, basically keep you mouth shut for one week every month...

      • profile image

        Jake 

        3 months ago

        This article took guts to write.

        Thanks for the honesty and insite. Much appreciated.

      • profile image

        randypoffo 

        3 months ago

        The thing is, in my experience, that none of those suggestions in the article help in any way whatsoever. It’s a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. In what reality is it acceptable to explode at your partner for asking “what time should I put the dinner on for?”. I thought it would be a decent thing to do for somebody to have their meal ready for them when they got back from shopping (or in this case retail therapy) Got that one wrong didn’t I. So no, suggesting nice gestures doesn’t work. “would you like a cup of tea?” is met with a nasty sneer of shut up while she concentrates on the television. Name calling in front of the children, hysterically reacting to whatever she chooses to this week and emotional abuse cannot be explained away by hormones. Case in point … I regularly go to the gym, if I were to supplement my workouts with steroids which could adversely affect my mood swings, I could not excuse my behaviour with “its ok its hormones is all” and quite rightly so. The fact it can be turned off for somebody answering the door as mentioned previously means women know exactly what they are doing they don’t care how it makes their partner feel. They want to hurt them and go straight for the ways they know that will hurt the most.

        Inventing a get out clause and putting the emphasis on men and how they should act is a shameful and weak way of shifting blame. Women will have all they support they need ready and waiting for when the hormones kick in. Maybe it’s about time they realised that being intentionally nasty and hurtful isn’t the way to go about getting it.

        @not quite Yes men can be cranky. Please please please please for the love of all humanity … when that mood swing kicks in. Keep it at cranky will you. We can deal with cranky.

      • profile image

        joe 

        5 months ago

        I'm so identifying with you Tolac3. Except mine goes for about 3 weeks of PMS at a binge. I might be able to tolerate 7 days. I don't care what this "woman" writes on how we are supposed to cope.... Should a domestic violence victim whos female cope with her husband beating her? No absolutely not. That is what life is like for me except it's more emotional not physical. I tolerate it because I am trapped. I have a little girl with the "bitch" that needs me for now and I can't leave. But rest assured, when she starts school and is old enough, I'm out. I'm never sharing my living space or marrying another woman again. And quite honestly I'm only going to have well behaved sexy intelligent ladies over to visit when the urge strikes me. When they go batshit psycho they'll be asked to leave. Marriage is bullshit. If she inevitably proves she can't raise my daughter alone, I'll take that on too. I'd be glad to take that on if the courts weren't already so biased...... I raised my son from first marriage alone, and he's succeeded in life. I don't need a raving psycho bitch around all the time.

        I'm of the firm belief that traditional marriage is over. SJW's, Feminazi's etc have ruined the dynamic between us. The logic of this article states we need to accept their biochemical behavior, but will they accept the behavior of us Y chromo guys with high Testoserone? No they don't the get us restrained from our homes, take our children away, and have us living like indentured servants. No more. Just say no to relationships. I'm on my second, and I dream of nothing but being single again.

        As far as I'm concerned women are lost. I'm sure their are a some out there, but their impossible to find in the sea of raving psycho bitches!

      • profile image

        6 months ago

        First, you guys need to grow up; this is a woman trying to be helpful and not someone to dump your half-hatemail comments.

        Second, thanks for the article.

        Third; Some ladies are better than others but sometimes its unreal. Trying to cope with the idea of proposing to a wonderful gal who is basically hardly tolerable roughly 10 days a month leaves me suicidal at times and all the advice and resources you can share would be a welcome appendix to this article. Thanks.

      • profile image

        TOLACA3 

        6 months ago

        Hi Blake Bill blake, I agree with you 150% ! SHAME on any Woman who treats their spouse or anyone horrible for 7 to 10 days... And that woukld be my wife of 27 years ! - - -- I cannot even stand her during PMS ! I wish I had the financial means to just leave her for good ! It is very hard to even have a drop of love for her !

        I feel totally differen't about her the other normal weeks, and I am her # 1 target during her 7 to 10 days of hate and intolerance towards me over virtually everything, and it has made me numb at this point, and ruining the way I feel about our marriage !

        I mean here is the sick pattern, the wife is lovable for 3 weeks basically, then she turns into an over sensitive complaining, hateful bitch exclusivelt towards me, ragging my ass about everything I say, do or look at her, no matter what I do it is WRONG ! My blood pressure spikes, to near stroke or fatal levels, I start hating her literally, and wish I could divorce her on the spot.....

        Then FINALLY after the blood starts to flow, the anger and her hatred towards me flows out also, and she returns to herself....... BUT at that point, I am still pissed, and hate for an additional week from taking her shit ! So I got about a 2 week a month marriage... Her PMS is so IRRATIONAL, she has been truly a danger to others, with her knee jerk out of whack emotions, she will not seek help, or realize she has severe PMS, and I am the #1 Target...

        For years there was always 1 week a month till I finally connected the dots, and figured it out ! 1 week where she hated me, bitched at me sarcastacly on every thing I said, jumped out of out slow moving cars if I said anything she would notmally not get upset about, walked out of grocery stores left cart full, walked down street in broad daylight with her middle finger up at me as I begged her to get back in the car, dialed 911 had cops sit in front of our residence, left me and drove 800 miles with our child in a classic PMS knee jerk reaction, why ? Because I looked at her wrong, or said something that would NEVER offend her, but during PMS week she is overly sensitive, and blows everything I say or do out of proportion ! I cannot take it no more guys ! Someone HELP ME !

        In closing, I would say I have Depression, she has put up with that, but I recognize I can be upsetting, take Med, get Therapy and fight it, and realize when I am wrong, she is a BEAST that takes no responsibility of her PMS, and it is just me 100% to blame for her outbursts etc. It is always me, never her ! Ladies reading this, yer PMS is no excuse to target yer Husband ! And my wife never seems to target, friends, just me !

      • profile image

        Enough. 

        8 months ago

        I'm going to quote 'dont'buyit' below because he's exactly right:

        If you can be super obnoxious and hateful to your husband yet turn it off in an instant and act totally different if someone comes to the door...then I call bullshit. If you can suck it up and act decent to others then no excuses for the way the husband is treated.

      • profile image

        Blake Bill blake 

        11 months ago

        You know what? This is nonsense. My wife is absolutely horrible when she gets "the curse". There's no excuse for treating your own family as poorly as she does. This is the equivalent of an alcoholic who won't go get help. Shame on women who ruin 7-10 days of their family's life every month and don't do anything about it!

      • profile image

        Matt P. 

        15 months ago

        I've decided to write a quick translation, to what this article reads like to a man, who is fed up.

        Don't offer any solutions, unless...

        This segment is basically saying, don't try to help your significant other unless it's pampering (which basically says you win, and it's okay to be an ###).

        Keep Your Distance, But Not Too Far:

        I'm putting you on a shelf, and you have to deal with it because I'm the gatekeeper and that's how society works. I might take you down off that shelf if you serve me some more, though.

        Don't Expect Too Much

        PMS means that I get a hall pass to treat you however I want, with little or no consequence, because that's how society works.

        Understand What's Going On

        I will continue to use this golden excuse, because men understanding PMS is like asking them to see a color they've never seen.

        Mood Swings

        Reinforcing, that it sucks to be a woman, but it sucks even more, to have to deal with women and not be one.

        Keep a Calendar, But Don't Let Us Know You're Tracking.

        Check the weather forecast, but don't put on a jacket. Instead, go outside and be cold and miserable, because how dare you inconvenience me with a reminder that my poor behavior is predictable.

        In The End...

        It sucks dealing with PMS'ing women, but you'll have to deal with it, because our society favors women.

      • profile image

        Not quite 

        16 months ago

        I can tell all of these comments are men. Here's the thing, can any of you honestly say that you have never been a jerk because you were hungry, or tired, or missed your daily cup of coffee? We have all done that. That's why those Snickers commercials are so funny, because we relate to them. Except women can't just eat something and feel normal again. The grouchy, miserable, depression has to just take it's course. If you are not satisfied with this answer then think of it clinically. PMS= hormones right? But what is Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, ect? They are hormonal imbalances and we can't just ask a Schizophrenic to stop being paranoid because "they already know" they are diagnosed with Schizophrenia. PMS is very much out of our conscious control.We try our hardest we really do but the men we love turn into the most infuriating beings on the planet during PMS. Do you think we want to act like this, like savages? If we did than we would not wait until PMS to do it we would do it whenever we want. PMS is a mental disorder no matter what anyone says and the only cure is pregnancy or to stay away from your women. Trust me, she doesn't see you either.

      • profile image

        Frankie 

        16 months ago

        Tired of all these ladies telling men what and what not to do when they are the ones that are saying things they shouldn't and are being hurtful. Look, it's tough. We get it. But at what point do women acknowledge that, whether they feel bad or not, they are COMPLETELY 100% responsible for what they say or do. Period. More websites should be written by women to women in instructing them how to overcome this bad behavior, not telling those on the receiving side to just suck it up and deal with it. Every wicked deed and word can be excused by some kind of overwhelming emotion. But just as we control or bladder urges and hold it in when we have to go, women with PMS need to acknowledge they are weak in that moment, take extra precaution, and act accordingly.

        Again, tired of these types of articles.

      • profile image

        Normanstresskopf 

        2 years ago

        It may, or may not, help to rationalize about the origins of PMS:

        A fertile female failing to conceive could have a better chance to procreate after forcing a split from her possibly less potent present partner.

        Of course such instinctive behaviour might have made sense only aeons ago, but modern women are still governed by what had formerly been a benefitial genetic strategy; cmp. Richard Dawkins.

      • profile image

        Yep 

        2 years ago

        A million excuses for not being able to navigate their own existence.

      • profile image

        Sick of wife Hating me 

        2 years ago

        I agree with Don'tbuyit !

        My wife treats me like shit, and looks at me with pure hate and disgust, everything I do, say or whatever pisses her off to know end, yet she seems fine to coworkers, other people in family, but me and her kids ! Her eyes look like evil cobra eyes towards me on PMS week, just getting tired of it !

        She truly does not treat coworkers, or others outside the house like shit, but me and the kids, me especially ! I do not even know that woman when she has PMS she literally looks evil and scary at me with hate, she claims she doesnt but it is in her eyes !

      • profile image

        Gin 

        3 years ago

        Loving the comment about treating other guys well but you significant other otherwise. My girl treats me like shit for the slightest things and thinks im making excuses at the end of the day. she also said that i did not care for her and did not ask if she was still in pain or how was she doing, when in actual fact, i have asked every single day, amd hoping she doesn't get in too much pain. Having done all that, she said i did not do it and other guys had to do it for her And thatshe was disappointed with that, and there comes the shit again, with me not being responsible enough and not caring enough. Can anyone tell me what i should do on this

      • profile image

        Don'tbuyit 

        4 years ago

        If you can be super obnoxious and hateful to your husband yet turn it off in an instant and act totally different if someone comes to the door...then I call bullshit. If you can suck it up and act decent to others then no excuses for the way the husband is treated.

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