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Are the Intimate Connections We Make Coincidence, Right-Place/Right-Time—or Both?

Updated on December 29, 2016
Miss-Adventures profile image

My passion is writing about love, sex, dating, and relationships. I write based on my own personal experiences and those that I relate to.

Sometimes the intimate connections we make don't necessarily happen in an instant, they are built over time. These connections either occur through coincidence, the right place and the right time—or potentially, both.

When you find the Universe is speaking to your heart, the words, thoughts, and actions should not be ignored. More often times than not, when you aren't listening or paying close attention, the message comes in more clearly, stopping you in your tracks.

Looking back, most of the long-term relationships that I have had in my life progressed over time. My boyfriends were either friends-of-friends, or acquaintances that I continually bumped into at various events or places. Due to the right timing and place, we had a second glance that stuck; noticing each other (again) for the first time. It's strange how you can look at someone as “just a friend” and then one day see them in a completely different light.

Have you ever continually bumped into someone you have known for a while, but one day out of the blue took them in as a romantic interest? As I mentioned, this has happened to me several times, as if the Universe is weaving two people together, making the connection more pronounced. When I look back at my previous relationships, ever encounter before the relationship commenced has been unique in its own way.

With my last boyfriend, we casually met through a mutual friend, but since there was a big group of us, I was never properly introduced to him. Over the course of a year, we bumped into one another a few times at social events; yet again, I never looked at him other than recognizing that he was “the guy I met awhile back.” More months went by and I saw him at a charity masquerade party were we shared a kiss—I still don't remember how the kiss started or if was good. But I do remember leaving without saying good-bye, giving him my number, or even getting his name. Although this might sound mysteriously romantic, I assure you, it was not. Several cocktails and craving Taco Bell had everything to do with it. Nine months went by and then I noticed J. This time I remembered his name; and long story short, we started a loving and romantic relationship.

Why does that happen? Why do we see someone over and over again, have casual contact and then finally through circumstances notice them in a completely different way—as if Cupid had finally struck us with his arrow? Coincidence, right place/right time, or both? I’d say, both.

Not long ago, it happened again. I noticed someone who has been an acquaintance in my life for years; again, nothing new or surprising for me. However, the places we have seen each other in my past have definitely been more unique than anyone else. I originally met him at a job I had seven years ago; and he was a client of mine. When I discontinued working at my job, we would still run into each other around Denver. A few years back I was called into jury duty and as I waited to hear if I was being served, there he was. My ex-client, a familiar (and very welcomed) face that left us both relieved. I didn't give that day more than a belief that our encounter was an unusual coincidence—that gave a great story to tell.

Recently, I went to Mexico with one of my close girlfriends—a trip I had originally planned as a present for my previous boyfriend. After dealing with a broken heart, I was convinced to still go on the trip since it was already paid for. With plenty of meditation, spiritual guidance, yoga and clearing out clutter in my life, I came back to Colorado with a new awaking of my “singlehood.” The trip I had planned for my boyfriend now became a trip to celebrate getting my groove back; Mexico was the perfect healing. As the plane landed, I noticed a gentleman who also noticed me one row ahead—it was my ex-client. Shocked and surprised, I just assumed he was there as another crazy coincidence.

Lucky for my girlfriend and I—who knew nothing about Los Cabos—my ex-client was very familiar and thrilled to pass on various fun places for us to explore. Being a gracious and unexpected host, he and his friends generously showed us the best time while they were there. Although my ex-client's trip to Mexico was only a few days, it was enough time for us to notice the twinkle in each others’ eyes for the first time. Coincidence, right place, right timing? All of the above.

Coincidentally, yes my ex-client was on the same plane at the same time; however, if my relationship didn't end then my originally planned trip would have gone in a completely different direction. But, due to divine intervention, great friends for emotional support, the right place and right time, made me see my ex-client in a different way. The trip was more amazing than I would have ever imagined; and for that, I am incredibly grateful.

We never know why we meet certain people, and the reason we finally notice them when we do. Even if it’s meant to last or just a way to get one’s groove back, all in all, does it really matter? In every relationship we have, there is always a bigger life lesson to take in—if you being observant. Although I don't have any expectation regarding my ex-client, the encounter we had definitely made me think: coincidence, right place, right timing, or both?

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      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      I do agree, I have never had a guy tell me to "lets be friends first" and then become a romantic interest. My romantic coincidences have always been with men that I've seen or have seen me around; acquaintances that developed into something more...a romantic build-up ;).

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      Stephanie Bailey 4 years ago from Denver

      Thank you dashingscorpio for reading.

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      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      No I can't say I've ever experienced any "romantic coincidences" but I've always enjoyed hearing about them or seeing them in the movies. :-)

      Every serious relationship I have ever had began as a "casual dating" relationship that evolved into something serious.

      From what I've heard from others who have attempted the "friends first" approach it sometimes leads to being trapped in "The Friend Zone".

      However to be completely honest I have never heard of a guy telling a woman; "Lets be friends first." Generally speaking if he is attracted to you but you insist on being friends first he'll "go along with that". I suspect every coincidental relationship you have had was with a man who thought you were "hot" or "attractive" when he (first) saw you. A woman's attractiveness is evident from the onset. Rarely if ever do you hear of a guy that "suddenly" notices a woman after having spent time around her.