Why Can't I Forget My First Love: Reasons Why First Love Is so Special and Powerful

Updated on July 2, 2018

Why is it so hard to forget my first love? First love is special because it is the most innocent and pure form of love. No matter how hard you try, you will never stop missing your first love.

Boyfriends and girlfriends in a first love relationship will forever remember the hugs, cuddles, holding hands, sweet whispers, long drives, late night conversations and the romantic strolls. Find out why the beautiful memories of this once in a lifetime experience will linger in your heart and mind after your breakup, for the rest of your life.

First love is the first experience of intimacy. Hugs, kisses and cuddles in a first love relationship form the basis of the sweetest lifelong memories.
First love is the first experience of intimacy. Hugs, kisses and cuddles in a first love relationship form the basis of the sweetest lifelong memories. | Source

1) Experiencing intimacy for the first time: Holding hands, hugs, cuddles and kisses

Ask anyone about the memories of their first kiss, first hug, first cuddle and the first time they had sex. Their faces will light up with a glow that is simply priceless. This happens because experiencing intimacy for the first time gets etched in the memory forever.

Physical intimacy is usually experienced with first crushes and first loves. This is the time when a simple act of holding hands makes you sweat and a romantic hug gives you goosebumps all over your body.

2) First love is special because it is the most innocent love

One of the core reasons why first love is hard to forget is because it is pure and innocent. People don't fall in love for the first time with expectations or malicious intentions. It is pure attraction, led by the mind and not the heart.

The beginnings of first love are free of malice and manipulative behavior. The whole world seems beautiful and life becomes perfect. It is like wearing rose tinted sunglasses 24/7, even in your dreams.

This blissful feeling of first love can never be replicated because once innocence is lost on a personal level, it can never be translated in its purest form in another relationship. This is what makes it so special.

3) First love is powerful because it exposes your insecurities

Your first love and first relationship will expose many of your insecurities which you never knew about. For example, your first relationship will be the first time when you actually realize what it is like to be a jealous girlfriend.

From jealousy to possessiveness to extreme dependence, first love is when guys and girls realize how matters of the heart can bring even the strongest down to their knees. The memory of being exposed to your own insecurities for the first time will never go away.

4) Thinking that first love is forever: You attach all your hopes and dreams to it

Guys and girls fall into love for the first time without any assumptions because they have never experienced love before. The puppy love effect makes them believe that this love will last forever.

This sense of lasting love makes you attach all your hopes and dreams with your first love relationship. It is like wearing a pair of blinders and focusing all your life's attention and goals to just one thing – your first love.

This extreme sense of attachment is hard to break away from. Even after a bitter breakup, you will find it impossible to see yourself living your life without your first love.

First love seems perfect from all angels. Couples in a first love relationship immerse themselves in this blissful perfection.
First love seems perfect from all angels. Couples in a first love relationship immerse themselves in this blissful perfection.

5) First love is the only time when you believe in perfect love

A first love relationship is when you believe that your love is perfect. Your love knows only one language, the one spoken by your heart. There are no hang-ups, no complications and no expectations when first love is blooming.

This sense of perfectness creates memories that are hard to forget. No matter how old you get, no matter how mature you become, you will always crave for this perfectness of first love in the relationships of your life.

Once you move on from your first love, there will be a disheartening sense of realization that you will never be able to recreate this perfectness in love again.

6) First love is emotionally intense and extremely euphoric

The sheer excitement of feeling love for the first time will engrave all the sweet moments in your mind forever. On the flip side, first love is also extremely emotionally intense. The downer after every little fight and argument is exhausting.

This extreme range of emotional highs and lows make first love a once in a lifetime roller coaster ride – never to be repeated. This is what makes first love so powerful and intense.

7) It is like any other 'firsts': Falling in love for the first time

First love is when you let go and take a dive into the unknown. It is like the memories of all other 'firsts' in your life, except that this one is much stronger.

Think of how you will never forget the day when you drove a car for the first time and then multiply that euphoria by a thousand times. Even that may be nowhere near to the kind of impact first love will leave on your mind, making it extremely hard to forget.

8) First love is carefree: There are no other responsibilities in life

First love happens at a young age. This is the time when there are no spiraling credit card debts, mortgage payments, job insecurities, career problems, family issues, social pressure and many other things that make daily life a melting pot waiting to burst apart.

This carefree time was probably when you were a budding teenager, fresh into a relationship with your first crush in school. You had no other responsibilities except to do well in class. This gave you all the time in the world to immerse yourself in love. Basically, your first love was your full-time job.

As you grow older your life is burdened with many new responsibilities, year after year. You may never get to experience the absolute and carefree experience of falling in love and enjoying each and every moment of it without having other responsibilities lingering over your head.

This is why the memories of first love will remain in your mind for the rest of your life – because you will never have such a carefree state of mind in your life again.

The heartbreak of first love is seemingly never-ending and extremely painful.
The heartbreak of first love is seemingly never-ending and extremely painful.

9) Heartbreak of first love is shattering

Just like how the euphoria of falling in love is extreme, so is the subsequent heartbreak. This is the first time you will experience what it feels to have your heart broken. The shattering breakup of a first love relationship is amplified into an emotionally terrorizing fireball which is a mix of many elements, including the below.

  • The agonizing feeling of having your trust broken in a relationship for the first time
  • The painful sense of regret
  • The haunting feeling of baring your insecurities to someone for the first time in life
  • The false hope that everything will be okay

10) The painful regret of first love: Too early, too fast

If love was a poker game, first love can be described as going All In. Peaking levels of happiness weaken sense of judgment and make it hard to draw boundaries. This makes you do stupid things including committing too early, putting your hopes into one person, getting intimate even if you are not sure and lots more.

All these things snowball into a burden of regret when first love falls apart. Why did I have sex with such a loser? Why did I trust her with all my heart? Why didn't I see that she was cheating on me? These are just some of the elements of heart wrenching regret that ensues after the breakup of first love.

Questions & Answers

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      • profile image

        Silkpajamas92 

        3 days ago

        My first love and I met when we were 16, and we were together until just after my 23rd birthday. Our 7 years together were the most manic and passionate of my life. We adopted our two kittens together the year before our breakup, so even though we’ve been separated for 3 years, we see each other every few months (we share custody of our cats...they’re literally our daughters lol don’t judge). I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year and a half now, but my mind so often goes back to the most intense feelings I’ve ever felt for my first love. I hate never feeling like a whole person. Like half of me is missing. I know he loves me; he tells me he knows we’ll end up together forever one day. But I don’t know whether my overwhelming longing for him is just the rosy-tinted-puppy-love glasses effect, or if we’re actually cosmic soulmates. I constantly feel torn and I don’t want to be tormented by these feelings forever.

      • profile image

        Joanne 

        6 days ago

        We had only been together for s little more than 2 (intense) months before we ended things, but we had been flirty, interested and intimate for about half a year in total. A couple of months passed and we dated for about 2 (intense) weeks before it ended badly. This was exactly one year ago. This year, we both have been seeing new people, but we had sex in May and a couple of weeks ago and a little more than a week ago we kissed lots when we were supposed to say bye after a night out with our friends.. Today we talked about us and things that happened this weekend that he did, they hurt me bad. We talked about our kiss and I asked why he did it. He said it was because he wanted to kiss me. He also told me he wouldn’t try and sleep with me again and when I told him to say it all to my face when we were at his door he told me that he doesn’t have any feelings for me. I feel devastated even though I know that we probably wouldn’t work out as a couple after everything that has happened.. It is easier this way, but it feels empty inside me now that we’re over for real, because after everything he has done I have always had hope.. it has always been him and I. He told me that the first girlfriend (me) will always feel special, especially because of our history, but then really tills me he has _no_ feelings for me. I really can’t get why he kissed me and all that, grabbed hold of me when I walked away and kissed me uuuuhhhhhhgghghhghh!! Since almost all of our friends are mutual I’m going to be around him a lot and that really doesn’t help now, especially now that I know nothing will happen between us in any way. Him being with someone else still makes me wanna throw up, excuse me. I guess I have accepted that I will always feel something for that Harry... I hope that some day he will think of me like that as well..

      • profile image

        Josie 

        3 weeks ago

        I read thru every single comment here by so many of you, who like myself will never ever forget my true love that is now with a girlfriend half his age. I realize I can’t get over it and I want everyone here to think about something. Feel super lucky that you were able to love this deeply, as it is a gift that some may never experience. You may love again but it will never be like “that one love” that you remember from absolutely no reminder or a song, or just the thought of their voice. We should honor this deep love we had by now bring the best version of ourselves. If when we think of them, we smile, we cry, may it be with living life to the fullest and wishing them well no matter where they are or who they are with. If you really loved them, you will wish them well and hope for the best for them even if you can never be reunited again in this lifetime. I admit it was a bit difficult when I first saw his picture with his current girlfriend but now I only wish him the best and if he is truly happy, you are happy too. True love is not selfish, it is understanding and it is very different of what we may think at the time of loss whether it was your fault or theirs. What is not meant to be, has its own reasons and once again, be grateful and send them a good thought their way every time you think of them. If they deeply loved you too, they will do the same. This wisdom comes with time, and I hope I helped at least one person with my post.

      • profile image

        MonoChrome 

        4 weeks ago

        Me and my girlfriend were together for a year. I am quite the fragile person already, so I cried for quite some time until I fell asleep. I woke up and cried again until I fell back asleep. For about a week, I rarely talked because I felt like I didn't have the energy to form words. It still hurts enough to bring me to tears, but I've been using these sad feelings to my advantage. I've embraced them and made sure I understand.

      • profile image

        Justin 

        6 weeks ago

        Its been almost 18 yrs now. My feelings of love for her will never change, except that Ive been hurt/broken and its been very confusing for me. Its a struggle everytime I think about whether I love/hate her. Shes been married now and asks to be friends (Pour salt to the wound). I dont want to be friends with her. I can never be friends with someone I love, who loves and cares for another. I miss her dearly.

      • profile image

        Some guy 

        7 weeks ago

        I met her in middle school. 12-13 years later and for some reason she will pop up in my head and ill look at some of her photos on social media, and still feel amazed when i see her face. I dont see this going away, its crazy and i sometimes wonder if she thinks of me too. Ive been in many relationships, and am even married now for several years and i hate to say this but i dont think i will ever feel that way again.

      • profile image

        NeyNomore 

        2 months ago

        We broke up almost 2 years now. But I don't know why there was a sudden sadness and pain i've felt when i heard she got married yesterday..

      • profile image

        Beautiful Butterfly 

        2 months ago

        It's been a year since I met my love in class. I don't understand why I love him so much. He doesn't understand why he loves me so much. We got pulled apart by my "Best Friend". I kept telling him that it was going to be okay and that we were strong enough to get through this. We broke up and I almost died. On the second to last day of school we started dating again and then I moved.

      • profile image

        Josie 

        2 months ago

        Dennis I loved you and still do and always will. Our long distance relationship is something that I will never forget, the countless hours as we stayed up talking all night, the sound of your voice haunts me till this day..I miss you Coca

      • profile image

        Ben 

        2 months ago

        my first love died in a car accident 26 years ago and although we were not together I will never get over her and I will love her until the day I die

      • profile image

        B.B 

        2 months ago

        My first love was my daughter’s father. I was 20 and he was 31. He left us when our daughter was only 1 year old, to married someone else. All my life was destroyed. Even now 11 years after, I can ‘t be happy. I loved him so much.

      • profile image

        KaitMarie23 

        3 months ago

        Rose, I too destroyed my first love. He was my best friend since 6th grade. He always had my back and was always there to pick me up when I fell. I just wasn't ready. He was too sweet and I decide to try dating him. It was so innocent, so pure at first. Then, I had all this freedom to f#ck things up with. I did just that. I cheated and cheated so many times. Mind you, we were in 7th or 8th grade at this point. Fast forward to July 3rd, 2015. I broke up with him and hurt him the last time. I've regretted it since.

      • profile image

        Rose 

        3 months ago

        I will admit something here. I destroyed my first love. I was scared of my sexuality and I left them so many times. Their transition from ftm, no surgery, scared me. Everything scared me. I left them so many times. I can never truly be with anyone, because I start dreaming of my first love and I begin to miss them all over again. I regret losing my first love. It was my fault. After I realized what I had done, they were still with me, and I told them to go after another girl that they had liked, that was better for them. I had finally felt a taste of my own medicine when I began to lose (her/him) in the last year of middle school, when my first love had begun to like one of our friends, and I would run off, crying.

        He’s currently happy with one of our male friends, and the last time I tried to talk to my first love, it destroyed me. He told me to never talk to him again, and I’m sort of relieved. He will never fall for someone like me again, but I will always love him. Even now, I am falling out of a relationship, one I will probably break my own heart over. I’m trying so hard to stay in this one, but my sexual confusion, the introduction of my first love back into my life, and the distance between us is a load of problems that I don’t know if our relationship will be able to handle.

        I’ll leave a secret message here, in desperate hope that my first love may read it and know how I feel, even though they deserve so much better. Maybe they will recognize the story, and know who they are. :

        You were my best friend. In 6th grade, I was in love with you, and I didn’t even know it. I was so happy just to hold your hand and run around school. When you got a boyfriend, I was mad at you and had no idea why, and was depressed when you had your heart broken. I held you as you cried on my shoulder in the gymnasium, right by the door, on the last day of school. Over the summer, I thought of you nonstop. On my vacation, I spent so much time looking for the right gift for you, and finally settled on a panda and a dragon necklace. When I seen you at open house for seventh grade, I hugged you so tight.

        In seventh grade, we stayed the night at a friends house. You’ll remember who. I tripped you with a pillow to make our first kiss happen, and then a kid we knew started watching gay porn and getting glow in the dark paint everywhere, only for everyone to cry at the end of the night. Our love bloomed, but I was scared of you. Of commitment. Of everything. I left you so many times, and I’m sorry. You were my everything.

        In 8th grade, we were close but distant. That’s the year I really lost you. I dated our friends, and you liked a few. I got in so much trouble, got sent to the hospital for cutting, and you stood by me. I’m so sorry. I wish you would’ve left then, because maybe I would have had a chance with you. My heart breaks when I hear your name.

        Over the summer between eighth and ninth grade, I had a break down when I tried to write you an apology letter. I realized what I had done, just how bad I had messed up. You still loved me, and I hurt other people to spend my last bit of time with you. I tried to kill myself, because losing you and hurting you more was the scariest thing I could ever imagine. Losing you hurt more than my mom abandoning my family, or what my real parents did to me and my brother and sister.

        “Smile”, I left you in 9th grade because I was tired of hurting you. The last night we spent together, I was so happy to get to hold you, to kiss you, to cook with you, one more time. You are the one person I will never get over.

        The person im with now makes me happy, yes. I hope they leave me and find someone better, because I don’t deserve them. I didn’t even deserve you. I miss you so much everyday, and I just don’t know what to do. I cry over you, and my partner knows that. They know that I still love you, deep down, even though I try to hide it. Every time I talk to you, or see you, I either break down or get a rush. I still love you, so much, and I just wish you still loved me. I’ll never be able to take back what I did, and I know that. You’ll never forgive me and I’ll never forgive myself. Just know, the last time I told you that I love you, I meant it.

      • profile image

        Small 

        3 months ago

        Large, l don't think I will ever see you again. But just know this, that you were my first love. We were never meant to be I guess...

        I forgive you. Stay blessed.

      • profile image

        Randy 

        3 months ago

        My heart is aching! I have reconnected with my first love! She was 13 and I was 16. Although it has been 45 years ago I have never stopped thinking about her! Now I have a wonderful wife who loves me so much and a person that I would not hurt but I don’t know what to do!

      • profile image

        Anurag 

        7 months ago

        I had my break up two years ago... It was my first love so it's fu...g hard to forget the memories.I have suddenly become so mature that I forgot all the spice..all the spark which used to b one of my best quality to flirt with a girl. I hav gone out with girls in these two years but never felt the same so I don't feel like I wud ever b able to feel the same and it makes me yell my heart out...I m just searching for my old love , my old feel .... But I guess I wud nvr b able to...

      • profile image

        mahi 

        7 months ago

        hi guys

        my first love was when i was 8 years ago and i was 14 at that time. yeah it was devastating to watch him leaving and actually it was hell to live without him but after years of stuggle and pain and tears i thought moving on is an option and so i fell in love again second time but this time again same happened........my second boyfriend left me too...so now as per my experiences i can just say that we come alone and we go alone and its stupid to expect somthing from others. So, stop expecting and live your life.

        i know it hurts but its truth. no one cares about anyone in this world.

      • profile image

        Nicole F. 

        9 months ago

        I have not been able to forget my first love. It happened 50 years ago. When I left him, the earth seemed to open to swallow me up. Something is dead in me this day. I broke up because my bad mother influenced me to do so. She was jealous to see that I was in love and happy. My life has been a result of mistakes after. I always think of him and I pray at times that we end our life together.

      • profile image

        Sappu R. 

        11 months ago

        First love like something which can not be forgotten i trully miss my first love and i my story he doesn't like me i like him He is so cute ,handsome and nice in study to and i love his hair style

      • profile image

        Marilyn 

        17 months ago

        Very well written. The feeling of first love for me was, honestly, like being reborn into the heavens and the euphoria of just thinking about him when he was away from me was pure joy. We were so deeply in love but so young, so innocent...tragedy wasn't very far away. After a whirlwind romance, three years together, wrapped in each other's arms almost constantly, he let me go. I was devastated, broken hearted and my spirit was crushed. I took the engagement ring off my finger. My heaven had turned into a nightmare. He had been cheating on me behind my back. And, even now, after almost thirty years apart, my heart still has moments when I think of him and wonder if he ever thinks of me. First love, true love, powerful....it will always leave me wondering what if.....

      • pstraubie48 profile image

        Patricia Scott 

        5 years ago from sunny Florida

        My first 'real' love love was my husband. I had lead a very sheltered life. So when it ended it was tres difficile...for years and years. Then a most wondrous person walked into my life and I have not looked back since. This is well expressed and nails so many important reasons why we stumble along when that love ends. Angels are on the way this morning. ps

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