I've been living with Asperger's (ASD) and I realize that dating me is not always a picnic. I hope to give useful insight to others.
I'm sure many of you, along with myself, have looked at other couples at some point and wondered how they found each other. Maybe you've even felt a bit of jealousy for a moment. It's totally natural, or so I've told myself.
There are so many ways to meet the opposite sex these days, whether it be through friends, out in public, online, or just plain coincidence or circumstance. Though it's not recommended, many couples meet at work as well. I've tried it all at some point, and I've gradually started to feel like maybe my time had passed.
A Long Time Coming
Most of us have someone from our past that crosses our mind now and then. Were they "the one"? Eventually, we realize that they were indeed not the one for us, and so we come back to reality. I always believed that if you put yourself out there and tried to do the right thing and be respectful to women, the right woman would come along.
For several years, I tried everything to find a good fit for me, but it didn't happen. Finally, after way too many dates, I found a great woman online. I dropped a lot of the "dealbreakers" I'd been clinging to and opened my heart. I was beginning to think it was just too late for love, but that wasn't the case at all. I found love...and it was a long time coming.
Death to Dealbreakers
I'm surely not saying that a person should throw out all the things that drive them crazy. If you detest smokers, don't hang around smokers. If you dislike children, don't date a single parent. However, if you have minor or shallow dealbreakers, then perhaps it's time to toss those out. For me, I refused to date anyone who was married or separated, for obvious situations that bring drama to your life. I was always a fan of long, straight hair and junk in the trunk.
Finally, I decided one day to do an online search for women who were separated with medium length hair. The very first profile I read into was interesting enough to illicit a response by me. Needless to say, six months later, that woman has totally captured my heart. Avoiding situations that bring drama is always the best way to go, but once in a while, we all need to jump out of our comfort level and take a chance. I took a chance on a woman. Long live sticking to your guns and holding out for the right one, but death to dealbreakers !
Free Your Mind
Life is so short. You hear it all the time, right ? But do you really apply it to your life? The world is full of wonderful people that would make our own lives better just by being around them.
Children, work, our own insecurities...they all play a factor in why we think that love just isn't in the cards for some of us. It's all about accepting the reality that love is available for anyone and at anytime it could appear. You just have to free your mind.
Find Your Lovebird
Success and happiness in a new relationship is most likely possible if you find someone who wants you just as much as you want them. Each of you will feel like they found a great companion and their own lovebird. It's a constant battle just to keep your hands and lips off of each other.
That initial feeling always seems to slowly fade away, but with hard work and determination, you can find those moments over and over again throughout your relationship.
Sing Along if you Know the Words
The Millionaire Matchmaker
I've found that a person can learn a lot from the Bravo show The Millionaire Matchmaker, starring Patti Stanger. She can be tough on her clients, but she demands that they treat people with respect and chivalry.
I do not think that reality shows are truly genuine, but you can get a good sense of what is out there in the dating world by watching a few episodes. No matter what situation you are in, you can find a great match if you have characteristics that the opposite sex is looking for in a mate.
Age is not a factor at all unless you make it that way.
Love can strike at any moment. You may not even see it coming, but it's floating all around you if you are open to the possibilities. It doesn't matter what has happened in your past, whether that be a painful divorce, a lifetime of solitude, growing children, and especially not your age. Everyone has excuses for why they are single, many of which are valid. But you deserve to have love all around you.
It's never too late to fall in love!