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How to Tell Someone You Love Them

I love giving relationship advice to help others in their personal life.


So you have that feeling in your heart that you can't tell the other person about. Each time you even get close to expressing how you feel, something else takes over and makes you walk in the opposite direction, or makes you act in a way that is opposite to the way you really feel. These are sure signs that you love somebody, but that nerves have taken hold!

First of All: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Though telling someone you love them with the words "I love you" can be an important moment, there are plenty of other ways that you can express how you feel...

Kind Words

Always use kind words when you're around someone you love. Show them that you care by saying positive things about them and their accomplishments. It doesn't need to be over the top, just a few words. Certainly don't get into any type of conversation or subject which they might find gross or upsetting. Though some people do this to hide the way they're feeling, and possibly as a form of showing off, resist! If you love them and feel like you care for them, don't be a fool and break that feeling. Be gentle and say kind things.



Give Gifts

A key indicator that someone loves somebody else is that they're keen to give that person gifts. It might be small things, especially if the two people are new to each other, but even small token gifts speak volumes. In fact, there's nothing sweeter than small, amusing gifts that someone has brought back from a trip, for example, which shows that they were thinking of that person all along. In some ways the smaller the gift the better, especially in a friendship which isn't a full blown relationship. A small gift isn't creepy, especially if it's fun.

Be Helpful

Showing someone that you love them without shouting "I love you!!" from the rooftops is accomplished in different ways, including being helpful toward them. Being helpful to someone that you fancy, but are unsure how to approach, is a clear indicator of the regard in which you hold them. Being helpful won't be missed by the other person. It can be small things, but being helpful is a clear sign of caring for someone, without having to say that you love them. In fact, being helpful is a positive action, whereas words can often just remind... well, words.

A Playful Nudge

People flirt with each other through all sorts of ways, from various forms of eye contact and body direction (e.g. foot pointing), to various forms of touching. Care required! For people who are perhaps new to each other, this can be a difficult area, especially depending on the culture in which you live. A playful nudge can come in handy, no matter the situation. A playful nudge, by it's nature, isn't too demanding or even creepy, but it does show that someone feels comfortable with another. A playful nudge breaks the distance between two people and conducts that electricity in a small way.



Spending Quality Time Together

Spending time with someone is obviously a key indicator of there being some kind of interest or affection in the other person. Quality time is where the two individuals are alone with each other, perhaps going for a walk or going out for a meal together without any interference from someone else. There's really no clearer sign of "I love you" than wanting to spend time alone with someone else...

A desire for time alone with another individual is also obvious in social settings where people are just getting to know each other. This is sometimes referred to as 'boxing in', where someone is unconsciously attempting to stop someone escaping from their space or conversation, whether the other person is happy about this or not!



A YouGov survey of over 1,000 U.S. adults has found that people don't say 'I love you' to more than three romantic partners in their life!

What If You Want to Say the Words, "I Love You?"

You know in your heart whether you really love somebody, so first of all, don't try and make it fit. It's unfair on the other person if you're attempting to make them fit your ideas of who you want to be with, rather than taking the person exactly as they are, and your honest reaction to them.

Make Sure You're Absolutely Truthful to Yourself About How You Feel

If you love somebody deep in your heart, find the right time to express your feelings. In the early days of a relationship, telling them that you love them can drive them away, if it comes across as too heavy and linked to too much neediness. Saying 'I love you' should be a natural progression, a natural expression of how you feel. In most relationships, several months can go by before someone confesses verbally to loving the other person, or being in love.



The Direct Approach Is the Only Real Way

Though telling someone you love them by sending them a card can be sweet, or even telling them over the phone, the truth is that telling someone face-to-face is really the best way. Anything else might seem a little too much, or not genuine somehow, and the message can be misinterpreted! The question might come up in the recipient's mind as to why the person is hiding behind a message.

Also, we've all sent an email or a message in a forum that came across all wrong, and that we phrased badly somehow. Make sure this doesn't happen in relation to love! Hiding behind a text or email can give off the wrong impression.

Find a time and a place to express your feelings and don't shy away from them. The worst that can happen is that you're feelings are rejected... but at least you had the courage to say what you feel!

Go for a walk, listen to some music together... whichever place you choose, ensure you're close to the other person when you confess that you love them. Sometimes it is better to make it even more gentle and say that you feel like you're falling in love with them...

In time, if not immediately, hopefully it will be reciprocated and there will be that magic feeling in the air and it'll be a day you'll always remember!

If you've been rejected, then it wasn't meant to be, but you'll be in a stronger position, and more genuine to yourself, the next time love comes around!

You could be far more crippled by not expressing how you feel rather than being rejected by someone. So work up the courage to say what you feel!

By working on your ability to express yourself, even if you make a few mistakes along the way, you'll only improve your position and ability in handling your feelings. Falling in love can be a roller coaster ride. Consider it a blessing that you feel this love...