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How to Write the Perfect Love Letter to Your Husband or Boyfriend

My name is Becki, and I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend.


Speak a Man's Language to Write Him a Love Letter

Men and women perceive language and relationships differently from one another. To put the two in the same box (particularly in the name of feminism) isn't helpful to either the male or the female in a relationship. If you want to have the opportunity to communicate your feelings for your husband or boyfriend, you need to do it in a way that he can understand, and most of all, appreciate. Pouring your heart out in a sentimental epistle may not make the impression you're hoping to make, and the goal of this article is to help you to write a love letter to the man in your life that will leave him feeling loved and fulfilled.

Particularly if you're dealing with a long-distance relationship with your husband, writing love letters back and forth to one another can be a powerful and beautiful way to connect to one another (especially if you don't often get the chance to sit down together face to face and have a date).

Love letters should never take the place of dating your spouse, but they are a wonderful way for the two of you to express your feelings. In this article, I'll share how to write an effective love letter to your guy.

How Men Communicate

As women, we're most often looking for love from our husbands and boyfriends. What we want most in a relationship is the sense that our men cherish us and can't live without us. We're sentimental and lose ourselves in romance and dreaming.

Our men are more practical than that, and their practical nature often makes it difficult for women to communicate on the same level as our men.

Don't try to write your husband the love letter you'd want to receive from him. Write the love letter he'd want to receive from you.

This article will give you quick tips and advice about how to put together a love letter that will make your man smile, one that he'll tuck up into his sock drawer and keep for a long time.

Bear in mind that your husband or boyfriend wants your respect more than your love, and that when you're writing your love letter to him, you must convey to him that you respect him first and foremost. When he feels respected, he will feel loved.

What He Wants to Hear

Many women feel that their boyfriends or husbands are unromantic, but at the end of the day, men aren't unromantic: They just aren't usually as sentimental as women are. To say that a person isn't romantic as a result of their being less sentimental is a mistake. Men want romance as much as women do, but their understanding of romance, and those things that they feel are romantic, are often different from women.

If you tell your man that you love him, that's nice, but he hears that all the time. There's one thing he's really dying to hear: That you respect him. It won't be enough to tell him that you respect him. Like you want him to show you that he loves you, he wants you to show him that you respect him. So you're going to have to tell him what you respect about him, and why you respect him.

Tell him how much you admire him and appreciate everything he does for you.

Many men go through their lives feeling as though they are impostors, always waiting to be found out. Your affirmations help your husband or boyfriend to believe in himself when he needs that more than anything in the world. Your job is to fill his void as much as his job is to fill your void.

What to Write in Your Love Letter

You're probably going into this thinking that you know what to write for your husband, but you can't go into the project planning on writing exactly what you'd want to hear from him. The fact is that you need to change the language of your letter to reflect what your husband wants and needs to hear. Telling him what he needs to hear is more important than saying it precisely the way that you want to say it. Men are generally less sentimental than women are, but that doesn't mean that they don't need to know how you feel. You just need to say how you feel in a way that he'll understand.

Try putting the following things into your love letter to your husband in order to tell him how much you love and respect him and to make him feel romantic.

  • He wants to know what you admire about him. Men need near-constant validation in order to remind themselves that they are the people that they think they are. Most men feel that they aren't as good as they already thought they were. Telling him that you admire him, and what you admire about him, shows him that he is worthy of admiration in the first place.
  • He wants to know that you appreciate him. While there are no had and fast rules about these things, many men work hard to support their family, or if they are stay at home fathers, they work hard to take care of the kids and the house. Our men want to know how much we appreciate what they do for us.
  • He wants to be affirmed. Your husband or boyfriend needs to know that you think he's absolutely incredible. He wants to know what it is about him that makes him incredible in your eyes, and how the things that he does, believes, or feels are worthy. Men often don't feel that they're important or worthy of great things, so tell him how great he is!
  • He wants to know that you think he's amazing. Chances are that your husband, for all the male ego we so often talk about, doesn't believe in himself. Your belief in him is one of the most important things that you can give him. Tell him often, and make sure to include this in your love letter.

If you include these things in your love letter, you will make your husband feel that you respect him, and that is ultimately the entire purpose of writing your letter to him.

Men and women find different things romantic. You need to speak to your man's heart.

Men and women find different things romantic. You need to speak to your man's heart.

Use Plain Language

Avoid writing words of love and affection over and over in your love letter to your husband. Bear in mind that men are generally more practical than women and that he wants to be validated more than he wants to hear your outpouring of love. He will feel more loved if you make him feel respected through admiration, affirmation, appreciation and adoration.

Men don't need beautiful prose from you. They need to know in plain language how you feel about them, and you need to tell them how you feel in a language that they can understand and relate to. Use the tips above to help make this happen.

What you want to hear and what he want to hear are essentially the same things heard in different ways.

You Want to HearYour Man Wants to Hear

That you're beautiful.

That he's valuable.

That he loves you.

That you respect him.

That he appreciates you.

That you admire him.

Keep Your Love Letter Short

It's probably best to keep your love letter to one page (front only). Between two to five paragraphs is a good length for a love letter to your man. If you're concerned that you'll take more space than this, work on a drafting process in order to make the most of it!

There's no reason to write a particularly long love letter to your husband or boyfriend. Not only is the message more important than the length, but a shorter length will help you to keep the message concise. He probably wants to get to the meat and potatoes of what you're saying, so cut to the chase and make your language simple. Writing on (and on) for three paragraphs about how much you enjoy walking on the beach with him is unnecessary.

© 2014 Becki Rizzuti


Assumpta oky on February 21, 2020:

Thank you so much

I'm really satisfied with the write up

muinat on February 19, 2019:

thanks so much I Lean a lot

Zoe Shumaker on September 03, 2017:

Thank u sooooooo much and it helped a lot i love my boyfriend with all my heart and i wanted to prove to him that i do!!!!!!!!!! So thank u sooo much for this!!!!!!!!!!!! BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Linda on August 17, 2017:

Thank you very much for this information.

Neely on January 12, 2017:

I just wrote out on a blank card things according to all of your points of what he needs. Thanks for the help, we as ladies just think if we say how much we LOVE them that will fill the same need as us. I hope and pray this card will lift him high!!!

Thank you again for taking the time to write this for everyone. :)

Saanvi on August 18, 2016:

Very interesting information i will ask you to write a comment !!!!!!!!!!

Miss Jayne on April 06, 2016:

I wrote one. Here was the response I got back. Worth the effort ladies to do things in a way a man can relate to.

Made me smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. You mean the world to me and I love you xxx

grace Conroy on February 10, 2016:

I love boyfriends

A E Clark on February 10, 2015:

You know this could be helpful. One of the presents i am considering is a love letter. I haven't given him one before. I am also considering a care package type thing. See in our relationship Feb 14 is all about me but in return March 14 is all about him. My godfather gave me the idea.

Deborah Reno from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on December 18, 2014:

These are very good tips for writing a love letter to a man. They do need to be told how much we respect and admire them.

Thanks for writing.


Maddi on July 19, 2014:

Very good article, I have found everything you have mentioned in your tips/advice to be very true on a number of occasions.

Emma from Houston TX on July 03, 2014:

Good article with a lot advice.A lot to pick up for those in a relationship

Alan from West Georgia on June 14, 2014:

Very nice article, lots of good advice.

sammi on May 12, 2014:

How do i know if he read the love letter i wrote to him

Suzanne Miles from Phoenix, Arizona on May 01, 2014:

I don't have a partner at the moment but the tips you share were great, some cute...Thanks

s.u.j on April 17, 2014:

Its very useful for me because i really lv my bf. More thn my happiness ..

.bt i hv no enough words to say him...thnks

MKM on April 15, 2014:

Just Googled how to write a love letter to my husband and this page came up. The content is fantastic. I have written, what I hope, is a great letter for his birthday that points out what I appreciate and admire that are things and aspects I think will really matter to him.


Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on April 13, 2014:

Bravo! What an intelligently-written article. I loved it and needed to read an article that actually helps a woman write to a man.

I gladly voted up and away.

All ladies should read this story. Keep up the great work.

Becki Rizzuti (author) from Indianapolis, Indiana on April 10, 2014:

I'm glad you think so! Much appreciated.

Parthapratim Roy from Kolkata on April 09, 2014:

He wants to know that you think he's amazing

Well said

Becki Rizzuti (author) from Indianapolis, Indiana on March 02, 2014:

Thank you for the votes, Zainab! Very much appreciated!

Musu Bangura from Nation's Capital on March 02, 2014:

I appreciate you sharing this information. Really nice article. Pinning and voting up!

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