My name is Becki, and I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend.
How to Write a Love Letter to Him
Men and women perceive language and relationships differently from one another. To put the two in the same box (particularly in the name of feminism) isn't helpful to either the male or the female in a relationship. If you want to have the opportunity to communicate your feelings for your husband or boyfriend, you need to do it in a way that he can understand, and most of all, appreciate. Pouring your heart out in a sentimental epistle may not make the impression you're hoping to make, and the goal of this article is to help you to write a love letter to the man in your life that will leave him feeling loved and fulfilled.
Particularly if you're dealing with a long-distance relationship with your husband, writing love letters back and forth to one another can be a powerful and beautiful way to connect to one another (especially if you don't often get the chance to sit down together face to face and have a date).
Love letters should never take the place of dating your spouse, but they are a wonderful way for the two of you to express your feelings. In this article, I'll share how to write an effective love letter to your guy.
How Men Communicate
As women, we're most often looking for love from our husbands and boyfriends. What we want most in a relationship is the sense that our men cherish us and can't live without us. We're sentimental and lose ourselves in romance and dreaming.
Our men are more practical than that, and their practical nature often makes it difficult for women to communicate on the same level as our men.
Don't try to write your husband the love letter you'd want to receive from him. Write the love letter he'd want to receive from you.
This article will give you quick tips and advice about how to put together a love letter that will make your man smile, one that he'll tuck up into his sock drawer and keep for a long time.
Bear in mind that your husband or boyfriend wants your respect more than your love, and that when you're writing your love letter to him, you must convey to him that you respect him first and foremost. When he feels respected, he will feel loved.
What He Wants to Hear
Many women feel that their boyfriends or husbands are unromantic, but at the end of the day, men aren't unromantic: They just aren't usually as sentimental as women are. To say that a person isn't romantic as a result of their being less sentimental is a mistake. Men want romance as much as women do, but their understanding of romance, and those things that they feel are romantic, are often different from women.
If you tell your man that you love him, that's nice, but he hears that all the time. There's one thing he's really dying to hear: That you respect him. It won't be enough to tell him that you respect him. Like you want him to show you that he loves you, he wants you to show him that you respect him. So you're going to have to tell him what you respect about him, and why you respect him.
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Tell him how much you admire him and appreciate everything he does for you.
Many men go through their lives feeling as though they are impostors, always waiting to be found out. Your affirmations help your husband or boyfriend to believe in himself when he needs that more than anything in the world. Your job is to fill his void as much as his job is to fill your void.
What to Write in Your Love Letter
You're probably going into this thinking that you know what to write for your husband, but you can't go into the project planning on writing exactly what you'd want to hear from him. The fact is that you need to change the language of your letter to reflect what your husband wants and needs to hear. Telling him what he needs to hear is more important than saying it precisely the way that you want to say it. Men are generally less sentimental than women are, but that doesn't mean that they don't need to know how you feel. You just need to say how you feel in a way that he'll understand.
Try putting the following things into your love letter to your husband in order to tell him how much you love and respect him and to make him feel romantic.
- He wants to know what you admire about him. Men need near-constant validation in order to remind themselves that they are the people that they think they are. Most men feel that they aren't as good as they already thought they were. Telling him that you admire him, and what you admire about him, shows him that he is worthy of admiration in the first place.
- He wants to know that you appreciate him. While there are no had and fast rules about these things, many men work hard to support their family, or if they are stay at home fathers, they work hard to take care of the kids and the house. Our men want to know how much we appreciate what they do for us.
- He wants to be affirmed. Your husband or boyfriend needs to know that you think he's absolutely incredible. He wants to know what it is about him that makes him incredible in your eyes, and how the things that he does, believes, or feels are worthy. Men often don't feel that they're important or worthy of great things, so tell him how great he is!
- He wants to know that you think he's amazing. Chances are that your husband, for all the male ego we so often talk about, doesn't believe in himself. Your belief in him is one of the most important things that you can give him. Tell him often, and make sure to include this in your love letter.
If you include these things in your love letter, you will make your husband feel that you respect him, and that is ultimately the entire purpose of writing your letter to him.
Use Plain Language
Avoid writing words of love and affection over and over in your love letter to your husband. Bear in mind that men are generally more practical than women and that he wants to be validated more than he wants to hear your outpouring of love. He will feel more loved if you make him feel respected through admiration, affirmation, appreciation and adoration.
Men don't need beautiful prose from you. They need to know in plain language how you feel about them, and you need to tell them how you feel in a language that they can understand and relate to. Use the tips above to help make this happen.
|You Want to Hear||Your Man Wants to Hear|
That you're beautiful.
That he's valuable.
That he loves you.
That you respect him.
That he appreciates you.
That you admire him.
Keep Your Love Letter Short
It's probably best to keep your love letter to one page (front only). Between two to five paragraphs is a good length for a love letter to your man. If you're concerned that you'll take more space than this, work on a drafting process in order to make the most of it!
There's no reason to write a particularly long love letter to your husband or boyfriend. Not only is the message more important than the length, but a shorter length will help you to keep the message concise. He probably wants to get to the meat and potatoes of what you're saying, so cut to the chase and make your language simple. Writing on (and on) for three paragraphs about how much you enjoy walking on the beach with him is unnecessary.
© 2014 Becki Rizzuti