Paul has been in love numerous times, but only been married once. Born and raised in the UK, he now lives in Florida.
The experience of being in love has often been romanticized by poets and given almost mystical qualities.
Most human beings on the planet fall in love at least once during their lives, however, so it is not a rare thing. (It's happened several times for me.)
Being in love is a state of mind which has been described variously as like being intoxicated, irrational, absurd, and as being the best feeling ever!
Perhaps everybody's individual experience of being in love is slightly different, however, there are common feelings that most people experience.
I list below some ways to know that you are in love.
You do not need to experience all of the symptoms on the list in order to be in love, but it does give you some idea of what to look out for.
It goes without saying that if you are experiencing most of the experiences on this list, then you are very likely in love!
Am I in Love? Ten Ways to Know
- The Object of Your Love Comes Into Your Mind Constantly
- You Have No Desire for Anyone but Your Romantic Partner
- You Want to See Your Loved One Happy
- You Want Everyone to Know About Your New Romance
- They are Perfect
- You Want to Spend all Your Time With Them
- You Want to Do Things to Impress the One You Love
- You are an Emotional Wreck
- You Change and Grow
- You Think Long-Term
I will explain each of the ways in more detail below.
1. The Object of Your Love Comes Into Your Mind Constantly
You wonder how they would react in certain situations. You recall memories of them. You wonder what they are up to all the time. You want them to be thinking about you all the time too. Scientists believe that being in love actually alters the chemistry of the brain and that the obsessive element has some similarity with the behavior of addicts!
There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.
— George Sand
2. You Have No Desire for Anyone but Your Romantic Partner
You see them as unique, and forget about any previous love interests, or exes. Your friends and relatives become less important. You are focused more on your one special person.
3. You Want to See Your Loved One Happy
Since you fell in love, you care less about your own happiness and more about theirs. Even if you fail at something and they succeed, you still feel good sharing in their success.
4. You Want Everyone to Know About Your New Romance
You especially want your friends to approve your new relationship and like your new partner. Caring about what your relatives think is a sign that things are getting serious.
5. They are Perfect
You find everything about your new romantic lover wonderful. You view them through rose-colored glasses, elevating the positives, and discounting possible negatives. This can sometimes cause problems later and lead to bad choices sometimes.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
— Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
6. You Want to Spend all Your Time With Them
Being with them is the highlight of your day, and the things that you used to enjoy before don't seem like as much fun now, if your significant other isn't going to be there. In fact when they are not around, you really miss them, and pine for their presence.
7. You Want to Do Things to Impress the One You Love
That might mean wearing different clothes, listening to different music, changing your opinions on things, or going the extra mile, anything you think that will win you favor.
8. You are an Emotional Wreck
Your moods are all over the place. When things are going well, you are euphoric, sleepless, full of energy, don't eat properly, your heart beats faster and your breathing becomes erratic.
When things aren't going well, even a minor setback, you are in a state of panic and anxiety, even despair. You can find yourself obsessing about how much your partner likes you and analyzing everything that they say and do.
9. You Change and Grow
You feel like the person before you fell in love and the one after are different people. The relationship has made you grow. You are a new and better person. You do different things and think in different ways. Your old ideas seem outdated and the new you seems more vital and exciting.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
— Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones
10. You Think Long-Term
You daydream about what will happen in the future with your new romance. You imagine what it would be like to get married, to live together, to go on vacation together, or to have children.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
— Lao Tzu
© 2017 Paul Goodman