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This article is my tribute to all the devoted, decent, honorable, and sexy men out there. Guys, you deserve major kudos for all the wonderful, stirring, and quirky ways in which you love women so incredibly well. We women love you and appreciate you. So, without further ado, here are some of our favorite reasons for loving the men in my life.
11) He Doesn't Pay Any Attention to the Directive "My Eyes Are Up Here."
One weekend, my dear love came to the hair salon with me. After I was cut and styled, I presented my beautiful haircut to him, angling my head just so. But his eyes were focused, well, down there, around the hip area, to be more specific. Hey, I said, My haircut is up here, on my head. He grinned wickedly and announced, Yes, my darling, but it all goes so well together.
Frankly, that was the craziest thing I had ever heard, and I secretly loved it, though I put my hands on my hips in an unsuccessful show of disapproval. There was only one thing left to do... we both laughed and went in for the kiss. (We may have put on a little show for the receptionists who were grinning like Cheshire cats.)
Yes, indeed. I am personally grateful for the loving man in my life who could not care less about useless, politically correct, unexciting directives from me. We ladies would be bored to tears if our husbands were too timid to color outside the box now and then.
10) Men Are More Romantic Than Women (Who Knew?)
A few studies suggest that due to evolutionary biology men are more romantic than women. Women tend to be careful when choosing a mate due to a timeframe for reproduction; men can procreate in a matter of minutes. Some studies suggest this has led to men performing grandiose acts in a relationship, whereas women are more pragmatic. Men are more apt to write beautiful poetry regarding an overwhelming reflex of love for a woman. Men in love buy flowers and plane tickets, and they'll rack their brains for unique ways to propose marriage.
If you listen to most love songs written by men, you cannot help but realize how sweetly idealized they are, like when Jason Mraz sings, "I won't give up on love, even if the skies get rough...When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky." Sigh. A man who sticks around through thick and thin and who thinks his lover resembles the night sky? Does it get any better than that?
Men also take longer to get over a breakup than do women. Why? Men tend to isolate themselves and brood over a romance gone wrong. Women tend to seek solace from other women, helping females to bounce back more quickly. Also, most single men admit to wanting their wives or girlfriends back. (It’s usually the woman who initiates the breakup.) Yep, when men get love-sick, they get it bad. When it comes to falling deeply in love, men are starry-eyed, impractical, and romantic, and we women love them for that.
"When it comes to the heartache following a failed romance, men may actually suffer more than women."
— Journal of Health and Social Behavior
Most Romantic Places, Phrases and Nationalities
|5 Most Romantic Cities||5 Most Heart Melting Words That Women Can't Resist||5 Most Romantic Nationalities|
"I was wrong."
"I'd love to just hold you tonight."
"What can I do to bring a smile to your face?"
"I love you even when you're upset."
"Can I help you?"
9) His Favorite Halloween Costume: Dressing Up As a Woman
Men secretly love embracing their inner femininity. Let me explain. Halloween is the one time of year when men can do just that, and no pantsuits or skinny jeans will satisfy them. No way! He is all about that frou-frou dress, the pretty wig, and the fake pearls. Sometimes he will go for the smoldering, sexy look. And naturally, his outfit is not complete without the high heels. You have to love it when he boasts about how much prettier he is than the other guy.
"Well, OK," he insists, "Maybe I don't have his pouty lips, but just get a load of these legs, baby!" Your great big He-Man can hardly wait to practice some womanly wiles at the upcoming Halloween bash. I mean, really. Isn't he the cutest thing?
8) He Carries His Five-Month-Old Like a Football
We’ve all seen him—the family guy with his wife, his three-year-old, and the five-month-old all gathered around the table at the Cracker Barrel. The family has finished breakfast and paid the bill. They're ready to head for the zoo. Family guy is in charge of the baby because mom is too busy rounding up the other kid and all the accouterments that necessitate every child-friendly outing.
"No problem, I got him," says Dad.
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Whereupon he expertly hoists the baby out of the high chair and in one fell swoop, tucks the kid securely under his arm, football style. And off they go! The baby, for whatever reason, looks perfectly comfortable. No one ever told him he is not a football, so what does he care? I don’t know about you, but when I see a man do this carrying-the-baby-like-a-football thing, I get this mushy feeling inside my chest and a big lump in my throat.
7) He Defends His Mother To the Death
I don’t care if your mom was less than perfect. His mom is sacred ground and therefore off-limits. Taking shots, even little shots, at his mom is hitting below the belt as far as he is concerned. His conviction is as such: She took the time to put up with my constant shenanigans, and I don’t know who else but my mom would have tolerated me.
Well, you gingerly offer: Didn’t she hit you with the fly swatter kind of hard sometimes? His answer: Hell yes, she hit me; I deserved it. She loved me, and that's why she did it!
By this time, we wives or girlfriends get the distinct feeling that we are treading on shaky ground by having said anything about his mom. The hurt look in his eyes tells us that we might want to stop while we're ahead. And that's a good thing. Everyone knows that a man who defends his mother will defend you too. Hooray! Another magnificent reason to appreciate your loving man.
6) He Gives You the "Three-Legged Chicken" Look Instead of Getting Angry
You know the Look. It’s the expression he makes when he is too perplexed to speak; the Look also translates to, "I've got your number, woman." He makes this face when we've just said something completely outrageous and inappropriate; It was probably a bald-faced lie such as, It was on sale and we can’t live without it. Or, I think the neighbor is a CIA agent; he has beady eyes and that outfit he wears is so obvious. This is said as we peek out the kitchen window, observing the neighbor who always wears Bermuda shorts and a Hawaiian shirt whenever he waters the grass.
It is then that you get the Look, the one that suggests you have turned into a three-legged chicken. No jury would believe you if a judge looked at you the way your husband is looking at you right now. You'd be found guilty as sin. Five years of community service, minimum. You might as well have said, I can fly by flapping my arms.
In the Words of Atticus Finch
"I proved him a liar, but John (the judge) made him look like a fool. All the time Ewell was on the stand, I couldn't dare look at John and keep a straight face. John looked at him as if he were a three-legged chicken or a square egg. Don't tell me judges don't try to prejudice juries."
— To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
But you love him for it. He doesn't yell or say something mean even though you just said or did something that makes you seem like a lunatic or a liar. Instead, he peers at you quizzically, maybe over his glasses...as if to say, "On what planet does anything you just said make any sense WHATSOEVER?” But he doesn't call you mean names—or fume about the bill (too much).
Let's be real ladies. If he acted the way we just did, we'd make sure he'd hear about it for weeks to come. No way would we let him off the hook that easy. We'd give him "the Look" all week long. (The Look is not gender-specific.) Not to mention, we women have memories like elephants, which means we will file away any transgression for later use. But not him. He's going to forget about it. Our sweet man will sigh resignedly, shake his head, and return to his newspaper. He loves you anyway. He really is the kindest man in the world.
5) There Is Still A Boy Inside the Man
He wears silly hats and ridiculous make-up in support of his favorite sports team whenever he attends major league games. At home, he wears his jersey shirt and yells at the TV, along with his other Big Kid friends, like when the referee calls a foul. He fumes, Is he blind? He rants. He raves. He gets riled up just like he did when he was six. The other boy cheated. He'll be sorry.
And then there are the times when his young niece or nephew come to visit and your Big kid is the first one out the door. It's time to play! Yippee! There they are—one big kid and two little ones, just rolling around in the grass as if life cannot get any better. Pure unadulterated fun, plain and simple. Now your guy has got hold of the garden hose. Anyone who comes within shooting distance is fair game. He, his niece, and nephew are blissfully drenched, muddy, and happy. They're in heaven. Life doesn't get any better. Your good man knows how to take care of business, but when it comes to playing, there's still a boy inside of the man. You wouldn't want him any other way.
4) He Is the Famous Barbecue Master!
The fire grill is his domain. No one else is allowed to touch it. It’s his baby. His steaks have to be grilled just so, with tender loving care. You can’t just flip them any old way. The timing is crucial and his barbecue sauce is specially made . . . a touch of this, a spice of that. His grilled pork chops are his pride and joy. Sometimes he even wears his special apron when he grills. It reads, “Barbecue Master, King of the Grill.” It has to, of course, because he’s an awesome grill chef (if he doesn’t mind saying so himself).
He is a "Master of Fire." Oh, yeah! “Crank up the music and bring me a beer, little lady.” Little lady? (This is where Barbecue Master has apparently channeled his inner John Wayne.) He goes on to brag, “They don’t call me Mr. Barbecue for nothing.” We women smile appreciatively. What we're thinking is, "Woohoo! So far, I've got out of cooking three times this week . . . I’m shooting for seven."
It's an American Thing
"Globally, it seems that this gendered division of cookery (barbecuing) is an American phenomenon. Across cultures, women generally do most of the cooking, period. In some parts of the world—such as Southeast Asia, Malaysia, Serbia and Mexico—you will see female street vendors selling grilled food."
3) He Is Not Offended By Chivalry
Like when he insists on doing that gentlemanly thing of walking nearest the traffic, on the sidewalk, when you’re together, or in taking your hand and leading the way around a crowd that might otherwise jostle you rudely. Or when he buys you a sweet little bouquet of flowers, just because. And remember the time he snuck out of work because you were sick with the flu, and he stopped by the grocery store to pick up chicken noodle soup, orange juice, tissues, and Nyquil, even though he had to rush like mad to get back to work on time to meet his client? You weren’t even married yet—just dating—but he called you every two hours to make sure you were doing okay.
And when he finally proposed several months down the road, he got down on one knee and made the sappiest, sweetest speech ever . . . and the look on his face told you everything you needed to know.
A good man is not offended by the need for a little chivalry. Nope. He simply requires some encouragement now and again. After all, he's smart enough to know that his thoughtful gestures translate into your appreciation and affection. (Hey, he's no dummy.) But more importantly, he is a gentleman because he loves you, not because he has an agenda . . . and that's why you're head over heels in love with him.
"88% of Americans cited love as a “very important” reason to get married, ahead of making a lifelong commitment (81%) and companionship (76%)."
— Pew Research Center
2) The Way He Holds You When You're Sad
You simply adore him when he pulls your body closer and cradles the back of your head, as his fingers stroke your hair ever so gently. And he murmurs, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this.” You lean your head securely upon his chest while you cry softly and listen to the beating of his heart . . . sure, steady beats. You feel reassured, knowing you will get through this sad, sad time. He kisses the top of your head. His arms encircle you more tightly. "I'm here," he whispers. He gently lifts your chin with the tips of his fingers. His eyes search your face with infinite compassion as he wipes the tears from your eyes. Patiently, he cradles your body. He comforts you. You know he isn't going anywhere . . . and you love him more than ever.
1) He Is Forgiving
You said something horrible, something totally uncalled for. The hurt look in his eyes is killing you and you know that if he walked out the door right now, you wouldn't blame him. You went too far this time. If he had said the same thing to you, you’d probably pack your bags and never look back. But not him. He has no intention of leaving. Through bad times and good times, even if you've wounded him deeply. He is with you for the long haul. You don't deserve him after what you just said and you feel even worse for the knowing.
When you act like this, sometimes he wishes he didn't love you as much as he does. But the truth is, he really can’t imagine life without you. To your credit, you are so very sorry and horribly ashamed. Finally, you approach him. “Honey, please forgive me. I was wrong. I despise myself for hurting you. I don't know why I said those awful things." He pauses, looks away, and downward for a moment, the longest minute of your life. Then he looks at you . . . so very sadly, and he reaches for you as he whispers, "It's okay. I love you.”
He is the finest of men, a forgiving and loving person who is worth your admiration, love, and respect, forever.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Questions & Answers
Question: How do you know that you love the guy?
Answer: Because you have his best interests at heart.... because somehow, he makes you a better person.... because it is pretty much impossible to imagine your life without him.
Whatever you decide to do, if he does not make you a better person, and if you do not have his best interests at heart, and if you CAN imagine your life without him, then you are not in love.
© 2014 savvydating