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My First Lesbian Relationship (Plus a Few Words of Advice)

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My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Neither of us saw it coming.

We met at work. I was new and she was training me.

We met at work. I was new and she was training me.

I Thought I Was Straight

Let me take you back to 2016, when the LGBTQ+ community was thriving and same-sex marriage was legal in most U.S. states. Since I was old enough to understand what the LGBTQ+ community really stood for, I was an ally. As the years went by, I knew more and more people who were a part of the community, and I knew more and more people who were allies.

Walking down the street, or through a strip mall, I often viewed women as beautiful and confident. I never thought of myself as being bisexual—I just understood these thoughts as me being uplifted by other women.

Then I met her. The one I've called my girlfriend for almost a year now. Neither of us saw it coming. She was a lesbian, but I thought I was straight.

How I Met Her

We met at work. I was new and she was my trainer. We laughed and talked while training; we just automatically clicked. One day she gave me her number, and we started texting. I'm naturally flirty so this came as no surprise to me, but it did to her.

This is when I began realizing that maybe I was bisexual. Coming out to my parents wasn't as difficult as it has been for many other people I know in the community. This was a blessing because for a lot of people I know, it was not easy.

All I have ever known is heterosexual relationships. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and disappointments from the men I've been with. I've been abused, lied to, cheated on, and the victim of many broken promises. 'Over it' is an understatement.

I Knew She Was Right for Me

When I decided that I wanted to be in a same-sex relationship, I kind of just dove in headfirst. My partner had told me at the time, "Don't do this if you're not 100% sure that you want this to last. I don't want to be an experiment." When she said that, I realized that it was something I wanted. Even though I'd never thought about it before, I suddenly couldn't see myself without it. Not for the stability, or the being in a relationship, but because she was an amazing person and I knew she would treat me right.

Both she and I have had our fair share of previous relationships, and we both have baggage. We've been learning to share experiences and work through our differences. One year later and I can truly say that I've never been happier with someone. I've never planned for the future as much as I have with her, and I wouldn't change a second of it.

My Advice to You

Here is my advice:

  • Be open to the idea of a same-sex relationship, and give yourself time.
  • The first person you meet may not be the one you're meant to end up with. That's okay, don't feel trapped in a relationship because you don't feel that there is anyone else out there that would love you like they do. There is, it just may take some time to find them.
  • Exploring your sexuality is normal, and you shouldn't feel bad about needing to "experiment" with different genders. How will you know if you don't try? You won't.
  • Be kind to yourself and your partner. Baggage not only hurts you, it also hurts the relationship. I'm not saying that baggage is bad, but you have to know how to express your feelings and confront your partner about the hard things.
  • Work through your difficulties, don't throw the relationship away when things get challenging.
  • Communication is one of the hardest parts of a relationship, but it's also what makes the relationship stronger.
  • Make sure you hear your partner. Not just listening but understanding, even if you don't agree. You can disagree with someone, but still understand where they are coming from. Also, try repeating what they said back to them in the way you understood it so that miscommunication and misunderstanding are eliminated.

Go get 'em, tiger!

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2017 Taylor D