My First Lesbian Relationship
Figuring It Out Step-by-Step
Let's take you back to 2016, where the LGBTQ+ community is thriving and same sex marriages are legal in most US states. Since I was old enough to understand what the LGBTQ+ community really stood for, I was an ally. As the years went by, I knew more and more people that were a part of the community, and knew more people that were allies.
Walking down the street, or through a strip mall I would view women as beautiful and confident. I never thought of me being bisexual, I just took those thoughts and turned them into me being uplifting to other women. Then I met her. The one I've called my girlfriend for almost a year now. Neither of us saw it coming, her being a lesbian, and me being straight.
We met at work, I was new and she was my trainer. We laughed and talked while training, and just automatically clicked. One day she gave me her number, and we started texting. I'm naturally flirty so this came at no surprise to me, but it did to her. This is when I knew that maybe I was bisexual. Coming out to my parents wasn't as difficult as most of the community has had it. Which is a blessing, because for a lot of people I know, it was not easy.
All I have ever known is heterosexual relationships. I've had my fair share of heartbreaks and disappointments from the men I've been with. I've been abused, lied to, cheated on, and many fell short on promises. 'Over it' is an understatement.
When I decided that I wanted to be in a same sex relationship, I kind of just dove head first. My partner had told me at the time, "Don't do this if you're not 100% sure that you want this to last. I don't want to be an experiment." When she said that, I realized that it was something I wanted. Even though I'd never thought about it before, I suddenly couldn't see myself without it. Not for the stability, or the being in a relationship, but because she was an amazing person and I knew she would treat me right.
Both her and I have had our fair share of previous relationships, and both have baggage. We've been learning to share experiences, and work through our differences. One year later and I can truly say that I've never been happier with someone. I've never planned my life for the future as much as I have with her and I wouldn't change a second of it.
Here is my advice: be open to the idea of a same sex relationship, and give yourself time. The first person you meet may not be the one you're meant to end up with. That's okay, don't feel trapped in a relationship because you don't feel that there is anyone else out there that would love you like they do. There is, it just may take some time to find them. Work through your difficulties, don't throw the relationship away.
Exploring your sexuality is normal, and you shouldn't feel bad about needing to "experiment" with different genders. How will you know if you don't try? You won't.
Be kind to yourself and your partner. Baggage doesn't only hurt you, but it also hurts the relationship. I'm not saying that baggage is bad, but you have to know how to express your feelings and confront your partner about the hard things. Communication is one of the hardest parts of a relationship, but it's also what makes the relationship stronger.
Make sure you hear your partner. Not just listening but understanding, even if you don't agree. You can disagree with someone, but still understand where they are coming from. Also, try repeating what they said back to them in the way you understood it so that miscommunication and misunderstanding are eliminated.
Go get em' tiger!
My Woman and I
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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2017 Taylor D